I Am Not Afraid
Buffy Summers, Vampire slayer. Buffy Summers, savior. Buffy Summers, heroine. Buffy Summers dying.
Time stopped still as the still young vampire slayer sat up in her last bed enjoying the last hour she would have with her friends. They all knew this, so did she but no one dared to admit it. It had been six years since the destruction of Sunnydale. They were all now living in Scotland except for Kennedy and Willow who traveled but they came back as soon as they heard about Buffy's illness. Willow hoped to do a spell but it wasn't a mystical illness, it was a natural illness which magic could not cure.
Buffy actually found it amusing that she would die this way. She had always wished for a normal life and now the only time she was going to get one was when she died. The master, Angelus, Adam, Glory, The first evil and even Willow she had fought and survived and she was dying from something so common, cancer.
There was a knock on the door and Buffy sighed, probably one of the slayers coming to see her, she was a legend among the other slayers.
"Ill get it" Willow said getting up from Buffy's side. She hated seeing Buffy so weak and she knew that Buffy hated people seeing her like this.
Xander looked at Buffy's weak body and couldn't help but let a tear fall from his eye. After Anya many more people followed, many his friends. He had tried to start another relationship when they were settled in Scotland but sadly she had also died. It seemed that death liked to consume all the good people, the best people. Why Buffy? She had done so much for this world, she'd given up so much, didn't she get a chance to be happy? Genuinely happy?
It was lucky that Willow appeared in the room again asking them all to leave because if Xander was there for any longer then he wouldn't be able to control his sobs
"May I ask why?" Giles asked. Willow said nothing but it was enough to get them all up and out of the door. Buffy looked a bit surprised, she wanted her last breath to be with ones she loved although she knew it was painful for them. Giles kissed Buffy's forehead, she was like a daughter to him and when she went everything would go. He had already lost Jenny Calendar, that hurt enough but loosing Buffy would hurt so much more.
When everyone left Buffy saw him. He was standing in the doorway with sad eyes. At first she thought she was dreaming, it was daylight so how could he? He was as handsome as ever, his dark hair the same colour as his eyes but there was something different about him, something she couldn't put her finger on.
Buffy was too scared to speak his name just in case she was dreaming again. In her nightmares Angel would come to her but every time she spoke his name he would disappear in a cloud of fog she like he did after graduation, just like he did after she went on about all that cookie stuff. Truth is she was already baked, she had baked a few years back and stayed true to her promise, the one that Angel would be the one to enjoy cookie Buffy but he never came, she never heard from him since he had joined the evil law firm
"Buffy" Angel said in a whisper. Buffy starred at him. Every time he said her name in would make her knees weak, it still did it. If this was a dream then she didn't want to wake up.
"I didn't think you would come" Buffy said
"I was worried that I was too late"
"Your four years to late" Buffy chuckled, flashing him a weak smile to how that there were no hard feelings
"I'm sorry. I would have come sooner but I kind of send L.A too hell and we only got out a few days ago" Angel admitted trying hard to hide how much it pained him to see Buffy like this. Anyone else would have been surprised but not Buffy, going to hell, fighting apocalypses; they were all everyday stuff to her
"It's day" Buffy announced looking past Angel and to the window
"I know"
"You did it then" Buffy smiled "You got everything that you ever wanted"
"Not everything." Angel confessed "I would have given up my sanshu if it meant you could ... if you could"
"Don't. Don't say that Angel" Buffy could tell he meant what he said
"I would though. You're the only thing I've ever wanted Buffy and it's just typical that this happens now as soon as I'm human and we can be together" Angel cursed the Power's That Be. He didn't understand. Was this his punishment for working for Wolfram & Heart? But he did what the powers wanted, he brought them down eventually
"It's not your fault" Buffy said as if she read Angel's mind. Angel looked down at his blond beauty, she was still as pretty as ever even if her face was paler then normal and her emerald eyes showed so much fear
"You're scared" Angel told her
"Terrified" Buffy chuckled. She had died before so why was she so afraid now?
"Why? You've been to heaven before Buffy"
"What if I don't go there again though? What if whoever decided all of this stuff is mad at me because my friends tore me out of there? What if you only get one chance in heaven?"
"After everything you've done you probably have your own V.I.P area up there" Angel joked but part of him was serious
"It's not the end" Buffy lifted her hand to stroke Angel's smooth cheek. He was no longer cold, he felt warm "We'll be together again, I'll wait for you, I don't care how long but I will. I'll save you a place in my V.I.P area"
Angel enjoyed the feeling of her touch so much he didn't want to burst her bubble but he couldn't lie to her, never.
"Buffy, no. After everything I've done I won't going to heaven"
"You're wrong. It wasn't you who did all those things. You've made up for so much that you didn't even do and if they don't let you in then I'll follow you to hell"
Angel smiled, so did Buffy
"its weird, your human and I'm dying"
"I know" Angel whispered trying to stop the tear that was threatening to fall "It's ok though. Are you still my girl?"
"Always" Buffy smiled thinking of the claddagh ring that the covers were hiding "Look after them all Angel, especially Dawn. She's still so young even though she think she knows it all"
"I will" Angel promised reaching for her weak hand to hold in his own
"I'll be watching you Angel and if you do anything to annoy me I will haunt your ass" Buffy joked which made Angel smile a little
"I'm counting on it" He said
"I'm not afraid anymore" Buffy confessed with a tear falling from her sparkling eyes. Angel could feel her body getting colder, he tried to close his mind to what was going to happen really soon
"Good because there's nothing to be afraid of"
"I'm cold" Buffy felt her life slipping away, she tried to hold on for just a few more minuets to spend more time with the only man she's ever loved
Outside the sun shined like it was a happy day. People walked around like everything was perfect, little did they know about the vampires that stalked the dark alley ways at night, the demons that fed of baby's, the evil that wanted to take over. They didn't know about the people that sacrificed themselves for they're safety, the slayer that changed history.
"I saved the world Angel" Buffy said "We've saved it. There are about six billion people in the world and only about ten know about it. I've given every chance of happiness up for what? For this? I though that at the end we would be together you know? Like a film where they always end up together but instead it's like one of them tragedy films. I'm not afraid Angel I'm just mad, how could they do this to us? After all we've done for them, how could they?" Buffy was getting hysteric by now which was not helping at all
"Shhhh" Angel soothed bringing her head into his chest "It's alright, it's all going to be alright"
"No, it's not though. I love you so much, so much Angel. I've dreamt of you since the day you left me but never have I thought it would end like this" Buffy sobbed into Angel's chest. She was breaking his beating heart
"It's not the end, it's only the beginning"
Buffy brought her head from his chest to look at him. Her tear soaked eyes looked deeply at him
"Your heart, it's beating. It beated before hasn't it? I remember, you... you gave it up so I would live but hear I am ...dying"
Angel didn't reply. He couldn't. What she said was true. He had given up his mortality to make sure she would live. He brought his lips to hers, they were cold, freezing but he didn't mind. They kissed like it was they're last kiss and it was. Angel pulled away to see sparkles in Buffy eyes. She was smiling and crying at the same time
"I'm not afraid Angel" She smiled "Thank you. I love you, never forget that I love you"
Angel eye's welled up he tried to stop her speaking, tried to get her to fight back but she wouldn't
"I love you so much Angel" She said again
Angel brought her to his chest again and ran his hands through her hair. When he finally looked at her she was cold, she was sleeping peacefully with a smile on her lips.
"I love you too" Angel whispered finally letting the tears fall freely
They had spoken they're last words.
He told her he loved her and she loved him but most of all when she passed, she wasn't afraid.
Angel was confident that they would be together again and like he said, it wasn't the end. There would be so much more to come.