When Clarke had walked away from Bellamy and Camp Jaha earlier that day, she certainly hadn't planned on ending up where she now stood. She felt innumerable emotions course through her body as she stood in the same place as before, staring up at the vast entrance to Mount Weather.

It was here that she had felt the dogged determination to free her people, the calm of having Lexa's strength by her side, the thrill of cutting the mountain's power, the panic when the bomb's detonator didn't work, the utter devastation at Lexa's betrayal, the emptiness at seeing the entire Grounder army retreat with her own people not far behind, the suspense of going into Mount Weather alone without a plan, the joy at seeing Bellamy still alive, the horror of seeing friends and her own mother getting drilled into, the gravity of choosing to kill hundreds to save her dozens, the happy relief of seeing her friends returned without a single Sky Person killed that night, the sense of loss for not knowing what she could have done differently, the heavy weight of being the one everyone looked to in times of need, and the resolution of knowing it was finally time to leave her people because they would be okay without her.

Clarke looked to where Lexa had stood when she revealed that she had struck a deal with the Mountain Men. The Grounder captives would be freed and she would retreat, leaving Clarke and her people to fend for themselves - most likely to die. She could recall with perfect clarity the smug look on Emerson's face, while Lexa's showed little emotion at all. Cold. Unfeeling.

Clarke shook her head at the memory. How could she have let herself trust Lexa so much? Sure, it had been great for a while - having an ally, confidante, a friend even, and one who could have maybe become something more. But she should have known Lexa's people would always come first. She will always choose her head over her heart when it comes to fulfilling her calling as Commander. But was that so wrong? Clarke imagined how she would have reacted if it were so easy for her to remove emotion from her decisions. Maybe she would have congratulated Lexa on such a successful ceasefire. Clarke shook her head again. No, she still couldn't justify what Lexa had done. Even if it was a strategic tactical move that made logical sense, it didn't change the fact that she had broken their truce. That truce was the reason why Finn died. Well, that really came about because he massacred 18 innocent people. And Finn said he had done it for Clarke. Why was it that she always seemed to be the reason for the awful things that happened? She shuddered at the thought of how many people were dead because of her...

Clarke snapped back to the present. She couldn't bear to think about all that for long. Though she may not have initially planned to come to Mount Weather, she knew why she was here. The bunker was loaded with provisions that would enable her to set off on her own for whatever path she chose. She cringed at the thought of what she would find upon entering the mountain again.

So many bodies. Innocent people. Horrific, painful deaths. All by her hand.

But Clarke gritted her teeth and braced herself. Most of the dead were in the dining hall and she would avoid that place as much as possible. Her sole consolation came from knowing the dead would soon be taken care of, and it would be done with great care and respect. Kane had assured her of that when she had spoken with him earlier that morning...

"Marcus, I have a favor to ask you."

The former Councillor's eyebrows raised in surprise at seeing Clarke burst into the room, dressed as though she were preparing for a long journey. He noted the sense of urgency in her tone and put down the map he had been studying.

"Anything, Clarke. What do you need?" This girl - woman - had just saved him and so many others from certain death. He was in no position to deny his aid.

"Sometime soon I need you to lead a group back to Mount Weather to take care of the dead who are there. We can't leave them there to rot - most of them deserve far better than that. And don't ask anyone to go if they can't handle it."

Clarke made quick work of obtaining supplies for her journey; she wanted to be in and out of that hell hole as soon as possible. After about twenty minutes of foraging, she had claimed a backpack, flashlight, gloves, matches, medical supplies, extra ammo, and enough dried meat and fruit to last several days. She quickly packed her newfound possessions along with the few she had brought from Camp Jaha: her gun, knife, bedroll, blanket, and water canteen.

Clarke now stood once again outside the vast fortress that had once been so intimidating but now was a mountain of death she wished she could forget. She turned away, silently praying she would never have to look at that place again. And now looking out upon the vast ground surrounding her, Clarke felt a little more free. It would be a long time before she could make peace with all the blood on her hands - if peace were ever meant to be in her life - but the one thought that kept Clarke from going completely insane was knowing that she would do it all again. Anything for her people.

Clarke was surprised at the relief she now felt at realizing she wasn't leading her people anymore. No one was looking to her to save their lives or make the hard choices that slowly chipped away at her sanity and humanity. She had burned alive 300 Grounder warriors at the Dropship. She had mercy-killed the boy she loved and felt his last breath fall upon her neck. She had let 250 people get blown away by a missile in Tondc. And finally, she had pulled a simple lever that delivered heart-stopping levels of radiation to 382 others. There were literally more than a thousand people dead because of the choices she had made.

Clarke could feel a nervous breakdown threatening to consume her and took a long, deep breath. She had to do something, go somewhere, to bury her grief and allow herself to become reborn. Then it struck her. Clarke knew where she needed to go next to find that rebirth. She pulled a map out of her pocket that Lexa had given her when they first joined their forces. It was a map disclosing the locations of each Grounder tribe. Polis caught her eye, knowing that Lexa was sure to be headed to the capital soon. Clarke still felt this inexplicable pull toward the Commander and she despised that. This woman had betrayed her and her people. Lexa had said she made that decision with her head and not her heart, but it was still definitely personal to Clarke. There was no way in hell she was going there - not until she had sorted out these emotions and was prepared to confront her. That was one reunion she was not looking forward to. Clarke scanned the map once more until her gaze found her destination: Clarke was going to the Ice Nation.