Disclaimer: I don't own the Power Rangers, Disney has that pleasure and Santa didn't see fit to give them to me as a gift yet again this year. Though I do have a Black Dino Thunder Ranger action figure, found that at KB Toys while buying Power Ranger toys for my cousin who has good taste, he loves them. I also don't own the song in this story, Last Christmas, that pleasure belongs to Wham.
A.N: This little piece is set in the part of the Power Ranger's world I play in. The one that Learning the Truth and Meeting Fate are set it. It does, however, stand completely on it's own foot, feet? Whatever. It stands alone. It's just supposed to give more of an idea about how Tommy felt about the letter since in Learning the Truth we only really see Kim's side. It's also just a little gift for my loyal readers who are suffering through the eccentricities of my schedule when it comes to posting Meeting Fate. Enjoy and Merry Christmas.
Christmas had come again, but Tommy did not feel the same joy this year that he had the year before. Last year he and Kim had still been together. Last year they were looking forward to spending all of her time in Angel Grove together. Last year they'd shared something incredibly special, last Christmas they'd shared themselves with each other.
This year everything was different. He'd been dumped, abruptly and cruelly, in a letter. He hadn't seen her, heard from her or anything since then. And while he didn't really want to hear from her, at the same time he craved it. He needed to hear from her, he needed to know why he got dumped in a letter; he needed to know why he got dumped at all. No, Christmas this year was not joyful at all.
Had it really only been a few months since Kim had broken his heart so callously? Had it really not been all that long since she had taken from him all that was bright and good in his world and left it a cold, grey place that was only now beginning to regain some color? Had it really only been a few months?
Sure he was sort of technically dating Kat now, but only because she wanted to and he didn't have any substantial reason not to, other then the fact that he was still in love with Kim. But then there was the letter . . . a letter that had changed everything, a letter that justified the fact that he was indulging Kat and going out with her. He was even doing his best to be a good boyfriend despite the fact that he didn't love her, at least not that way. He loved her but he wasn't in love with her, not the way he was with Kim.
As Tommy sped down the road, headed nowhere in particular, and mused about the differences between this Christmas and the previous one the radio decided to collaborate with his mood. He wasn't paying much attention to the introduction but when the words started playing his mind snapped into focus.
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
'If only' he thought, not bitterly, just resignedly.
Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance
But you still catch my eye
Tell me baby
Do you recognize me?
Well
It's been a year
It doesn't surprise me
I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I love you"
I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now
I know you'd fool me again
'I meant it, really I did, too bad you didn't.'
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
A crowded room
Friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you
And your soul of ice
My god I thought you were
Someone to rely on
Me?
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover but you tore me apart
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again
'You'll always fool me, I'll never find a real love, you can't find that which you've already found.'
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart
A man under cover buy you tore him apart
Maybe next year I'll give it to someone
I'll give it to someone special.
By the time the song finished Tommy had pulled over to the side of the road, a neat trick given he was on a particularly winding part of the 101, and was just sitting there with the tears he'd been trying to hold back streaming down his face. It may have been almost a year but the pain was still as fresh today as it had been the day he had gotten Kim's letter.
'Has it really only been a year?' He thought to himself while he stared unseeingly at the ocean rolling in against the cliffs below him. 'Has it really only been 12 months since the last time I saw her? Has it really only been that short a time? It feels like years.'
Tired of sitting he got out of the car and picked his way carefully to the very edge of the cliff. He watched the power of the ocean and tried to let it heal some of the pain in his heart. He truly had given away his heart but it hadn't been as safe as he'd thought it would be. He wished he could be as blasé about it as the song, he wished he could give his heart to someone else, someone who wouldn't crush it, but he couldn't. No matter what he did, no matter what she'd done his heart still belonged firmly to Kimberly Ann Hart.
Softly he sang to himself the second verse and then grimaced at the inaccuracy of the last line. He'd never find his true love, he'd already found her and she was the one that had broken his heart. He knew that she could fool him over and over again, and somehow he'd allow it. He'd allow almost anything if it would allow him to hold her again. He'd go to the ends of the earth and beyond for the girl who held his heart, though she didn't seem to realize it. He fly to the moon for her. He'd take on Zedd in one on one combat without his Ranger Powers for her. He'd do anything.
Unlike the other girl in his life, his ostensible girlfriend, he'd literally lay down his life for Kim. He liked Kat, a lot, hell even loved her, in a way, but not in the same heartstopping, lay down your life kind of way that he loved Kim. He loved Kat more like a brother. Which was ironic since the only reason he was dating her was because Kim had broken up with him by saying she loved him like a brother.
Standing there on the edge of a cliff, the salt laden air blowing through his hair, leaving a fine film of salty water on his skin, Tommy made a promise to himself. Though he hadn't done anything about it when Kim sent him that letter, if he ever got his chance he would take it. If he ever got to go after her again, if he ever got to call her his own again he'd never let her go.
If he'd been a little less hurt, or maybe a little more hurt, he would have expanded that promise to himself, he would have made himself go after her then, a Christmas gift to both of them, but he wasn't, for better or worse, and so he contented himself with the promise that if he got the chance he wouldn't let her get away, but until then he'd remain the lover with a fire in his heart who'd been torn apart.
With a sigh he turned away from the cliff and headed back to his car. Pulling back onto the road he continued on his way and tried firmly to keep him mind off of thoughts of last Christmas, until he saw her again, until he got his chance he was going to do his best not to dwell on what might have been. Instead he was going to try to live his life in the best way he knew how. If only he knew how long it was going to be before he got his chance . . .