Disclaimer: I don't own HG Welles, The Time Machine, or anything else I mention here. I just enjoy writing about some of it. After all, imitation IS the highest form of flattery, is it not? So, Mr. Welles, please don't take offense . . .
Hello. I am TM361082, otherwise known as the Time Machine. I have read the account of the Time Traveler, for so he is called, of my "disappearance" in the world of the future. After reading the account, I felt called upon to set several things straight, lest the general public be led astray by someone who knew far too little of what he was talking about to be talking at all. When I was left alone by the Time Traveler, most rudely, on the lawn in the future, I felt quite despondent.
I think he went to go eat or something silly like that while I had to sit out on the cold, squishy turf without even a drop of oil or a tune-up! And after that hail, too! After all, I was the one who had him sitting on me through that blur of time. I carried him through to the future. I was his only chance of getting home. So what if he built me? Of course I was to feel despondent. I had given my utmost for him and what did he repay me with? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Anyway, as I was saying, about my disappearance. Well, I was tired, beat-up, dirty, and needed a great deal of oil. You've no idea how time traveling uses up one's oil supply. I waited and waited, but all I saw were these strange little people running around. Then, this odd, white creature came out and dragged me (most carefully, I might add) over to a large statue. In its base, panels slid down, and I was taken inside. This white creature, whom I will call Leroy, stared at me for quite some time, not moving, just staring. It made me nervous, I must confess. Finally, he started talking. It seems he was calling out to some of his friends to come look at me, but, strangest of all things, I understood him perfectly. His language, it seems, was the language of machinery. Not English or any other sort of human language, which we machines can understand also, but this was actually our language! Humans have a hard time grasping this concept, but machinery really does have a language. The clicks and pops and noises we make are talking, not just random sounds.
When several of Leroy's friends had joined him, they actually started conversing with me! Very few humans ever talk to machines. This was most impressive; these creatures were certainly much farther advanced than humans today. I answered them, and over the course of the night, I explained who I was, who the Time Traveler was, and how I had come here. They, being as smart as they were, wanted to try to go into the future as well with me. They, however, actually appreciated me, instead of just thinking I was there for them to use. Unfortunately, the Time Traveler, before leaving me, had removed the little levers that make me work. I told Leroy this, and so he and his friends began thinking of a way to get the levers from him. I hear they tried some pretty brave things to get them, but the Time Traveler foiled all of them. Even when he came down into their caves, they could not acquire them from him.
But, all of those attempts are written down in the Time Traveler's account, though he had it quite backwards. Leroy certainly would have returned me after a little while. Anyway, while his friends were outside searching for the levers, Leroy and I had quite a good time, while he oiled me and cleaned me. He even took me apart slightly, as I explained to him what each part of me was. He was most impressed by me, as no doubt he should have been. He told me all about their world underground, how wonderful everything was. They had finally realized that machinery deserved a much greater place in the world than most humans give it, so we rewarded them by working hard and making them a great people. I called down to several of their machines, and they confirmed Leroy's story.
However, we needed those little levers. In a last, daring attempt to secure them, the Morlocks (for that is what Leroy's people are called) opened the panels of the statue, to tempt the Time Traveler with me. Yes, they made me the bait, but it was necessary for the plan to work. I had to be used to get him inside the statue. Leroy explained it all to me. And the Time Traveler fell for it! He came in, walked over to me, and actually seemed happy to see me. He started to put the levers on, but then he heard the Morlocks and panicked. In the Time Traveler's haste, Leroy almost managed to get the levers out of his hands, but then the Time Traveler, cruel beast that he is, slammed his head into Leroy's, hurting him (Leroy) terribly. Then, suddenly, everything fell away, and we were off again into time. I hope I see them again, for I had the loveliest of times while the Time Traveler was away.
