JAG (col.saramac@caramail.com)

PG

Disclaimer yeah, of course i own JAG and that's why I'm writing that !

Romance Harm/Mac A bit of adventure, suspense…

Author's note : Extract from 'Winter's Talks' by Dinesen.

Songs : Next plane out, Love doesn't ask why, Sorry for love by Celine Dion

(some extracts are included in the dialogues)

This is my first fanfic so be nice. plus, English is not my mother tongue, so would you excuse my mistakes please (I'm learning British so there must be some mistakes for the American words) sorry…

if someone wanna be my beta reader, it would be great.

Mac's apart

7.30

Mac was now ready for work. She has made up her hair, put her uniform, blushed her cheeks for not being too pale in front of the other members of JAG. She turned back a last time before knocked her door.

She slowly went downstairs just and drove to JAG. Something tormented her. Something, but she didn't know what. She finally arrived at the headquarters and decided to let her troubles on the side for the day.

She came into the building, said hello to some colleagues and entered her office. As she did not want to be disturbed she put down the blinds on the windows. Immediately she began to study one of her cases.

As she was searching arguments for her client defence, she found herself lost in her thoughts. She was up, looking through the window. The sky was quite grey and some clouds began to appear. The sky seemed to be as tortured as her mind was. It was not raining but something was going wrong. Something was to happen

The hard, inexorable sky over the building suddenly broke, there was a sudden peal of thunder. On all sides the incessant whisper of falling water re-echoed on the ground.

As the drops rain were falling down, she did not notice the tears that began to fall on her cheeks.

She was thinking about him again. How her life goes badly when he was not around her. She was always searching for his support, his smile, his presence.

Why life is so cruel she thought. She was looking back through the years, memories that all lead up to this one day. This day when she first met him in the rose garden. She thought he was heaven sent.

But now, many dreams lost along the way haunt her still. She has lost Mic and what he represents, a husband, children, a nice house…

But her love was too much to bear, she just left it there. But now, she couldn't run away. She hasn't any valuable excuses to run away from JAG, from him.

She stood face to face with her heart that living without Harm, could only fall behind. They said goodbyes but their hearts did not hear, she needed him right beside her.

As if he had heard her mind desperately calling for him to come, he appeared on the doorway. She did not hear when he knocked on her door.

He was staring at her, trying to read her mind. Why is she so sad he thought. He softly called her.

Hearing his voice she slightly shivered. She turn and looked at him.

He noticed the tears in her eyes.

He looks at me, all concerned. Up to now it could be for two reasons. Because I am his friend, or because…he loves me. Like I love him. I'd hate to stand there, looking him in the eyes. It'd make me cry more.

Harm : « Hey mac, are you ok ? »

Mac : « I'm alright Harm. »

I say it, but it's not true. I need him. I'd love his arms to hold me. I feel so right and protected when he is around . All the things we've been through together, don't we merit it? Why life is so complicated ?
I've never felt this alone, not even when Mic had to leave me too…

I wanted to ask him, to know why is he letting our relation die without a blink of an eye. He told me that he needed time, but how much does he need ? What can I do to make him love me ? Maybe I don't deserve him…

He told me one day that finally it didn't really matter for him if we were well or not. He said 'we're not married as far as I know'

This day he tore my heart apart. He did it so many times. I want to stop loving him but I know I won't. I can not. I'll be waiting for him here inside my heart.

I noticed I was staring at him for more than 3minutes and 44 seconds. I did not know what to do. Fortunately, (or it was what I thought at this time), the phone rang. I gave him an apologized look. He smiled but I saw concern in his eyes.

He left my office.