On deviantART I wrote a poem about how Ashfur feels about Squirrelflight - my deviantART is AzuraTheSeedrain.
I decided to turn it into a short ficlet..
Itallics = poem
Bold Itallics = flashback
All characters belong to Erin Hunter.
When you smile,
I cry inside.
When I got back from Dawn Patrol, I saw the two of them sitting together.
Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw.
He had said something that made her smile.
I wanted to be the one who made her smile.
I turned away from them.
Though no tears fell from my eyes, I was crying on the inside.
When you laugh,
I hurt inside.
When I saw her, during one of the times she played with her kits, I tried to run away, to escape the hurt.
But I couldn't move.
I had to watch her and Brambleclaw, play with the kits. Lionkit, Hollykit and Jaykit...
Lionkit pounced on Brambleclaw's tail. Brambleclaw pretended to be scared.
Hollykit laughed. Jaykit laughed.
Squirrelflight laughed.
As soon as she laughed, watching her mate and kits, all I could feel was my heeart being ripped open.
When you're happy,
I'm sad inside.
'Lionblaze! Hollyleaf! Lionblaze! Hollyleaf!
Lionblaze and Hollyleaf glowed with happiness, as the clan called out their new names.
Squirrelflight rushed over to them, and purred.
'I'm so proud of you both!'
She looks so happy, now that two of her kits are warriors...
Even happier when Brambleclaw joins them.
Jayfeather walks over to congradulate his littermates.
The orange she cat couldn't of looked happier.
It makes me sad...seeing her so happy without me.
Every day,
I die inside.
'You have no idea, how much pain I'm in!
It's like being cut open, every day, and bleeding over the stones!'
It was like dying.
Her being with someone else, and me having to watch it all.
But now...as I lay here in the river, blood flowing from my body, and life slipping away...
I understand...that dying is nothing, nothing compared to that pain.
So I welcome Star Clan, with open paws.
Squirrelflight can't hurt me anymore.