My friend Sara and I were in our Gifted Problem Solving the other day and everyone split up into teams of two. Then each team had to pick a bag from on a table, and the bag had 3 mystery items in it. Ours had a calculator, a pencil, and bug spray. I decided, of course, that we had to try to turn this into a kinda fanfic…it is very weird. Only one chapter. We did get 100% on it *is happy* Now read!

*Disclaimer* I don't own the idea of SOBS. I saw it on a LOTR survivor website…but it's a great idea!!!

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One day a group of nerds from the Nerdopia Boys' Jr. High went on a camping trip. "Oh golly, I can't wait for this educational experience!" said Robert.

"Me either! My inner outdoorsman is shining through!" Bartholomew agreed.

"Mathematics mathematics MATHEMATICS! Pythagorean theorem! WOOOOOO!" chanted the other nerds. There were about 10 of them altogether.


As their bus pulled up to the foot of the mountain, the bus driver screeched, "BEWARE THE SOBS!!!"

"Sure, " Robert sarcastically said. "Right. An intellectual being such as moi has researched these mountains previously and there is no such creature called 'SOBS' thank you very much."

"Hahah, that's what you think! Muhahahahahhahahahahaa!!!" The bus driver cackled insanely, leaving the boys stranded and alone at the foot of the mountain.

As they started the treacherous trek up the mountain, Bartholomew took out his solar-powered calculator to calculate the position of the sun. It was his favorite hobby. "It is 2 a.m. in Zimbabwe!!!" he triumphantly proclaimed. Suddenly, an arrow found his calculator and *POW* it exploded!

A blonde haired, pointy-eared figure burst out of the woods screaming. The geeks didn't know what to make of this. "Maybe it's a SOBS," Robert said. So he ran after the mysterious being and threw his freshly sharpened pencil at it because it would have been awesome for him if he could take this new species back to his lab. Anyway, being a dork, he had really bad aim, and he accidentally hit Bryan!

The pencil went through Bryan's head. "Owie!" Bryan exclaimed.

"Darn, now who's going to come to the Calculation Convention with me?" Bartholomew cried. "Let's preserve his body with bug spray." So he started to spray Bryan's corpse with spray. Suddenly, a group of girls in yellow t-shirts and bandanas ran out of the woods. They snatched up the corpse and screamed, "AN OFFERING FOR OUR BELOVED LEGOLAS! EEEEEEP! POWER TO THE SOBS!" Then they started to gleefully run off again.

"OH NO! The SOBS must be here!!!" Robert exclaimed. "Wait…what exactly is a SOBS?"

One of the girls stopped, turned to face him and said, "SOBS stands for Society of Orlando Bloom Stalkers. WE LOOOOOOVE HIIIIIM!!!" Then she took off again.

And with that, the boys were really freaked out. They took the bug spray and ran down the mountain. The bus driver was back. "Hello boys," he said. He was wearing a yellow t-shirt and bandana…

DUN DUN DUN!!!!!!

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The moral of this story is: Don't go into the woods if you are a nerd. And being Orlando Bloom is dangerous. But most importantly, never ever ever trust rabid obsessive girls.

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Yes, I know that this was very weird. But just deal with it and read one of my School of Rock stories. They're a little bit less weird….kinda…..