I Could Give A Million Reasons

by Navona

It doesn't matter if Quinn likes girls, because she is never going to do anything about it. Quinn/Brittany/Santana

Title: I Could Give A Million Reasons (why we should not be friends)

Fandom: Glee

Pairing: Brittany/Santana/Quinn

Rating: R

Spoilers: Through all of season one

Summary: It doesn't matter if Quinn likes girls, because she's never going to do anything about it.

Notes: Written for Onomatopoetic. Title from Jay Brannan's song Half-boyfriend.

When Quinn is four, she starts kindergarten with a brown-haired girl called Rachel Berry. Quinn sits next to her in music class, and when Rachel sings louder than the rest of them, her eyes shining as she dances, clearly having the time of her life, Quinn makes up her mind that they're going to be friends.

Except that later, when Quinn tries to play with her, Rachel keeps stealing Quinn's crayons, and she says that the cat Quinn is making out of play-doh is stupid, and when Quinn says she doesn't like to sing, Rachel bursts into tears and declares that they can't be friends anymore, which Quinn thinks is fine, because she doesn't want to be friends with a mean girl anyway.

When she tells her parents about it that night, she cries. Her mother suggests gently that maybe she shouldn't play with Rachel anymore.

Later, when she finds out about Rachel's two dads, she'll remember Bible verses, and things she's heard in church, and the voice of her mother telling her not to play with Rachel. Somehow it all gets mixed up in Quinn's head, and for the rest of her life, she'll believe that her parents forbid her from playing with Rachel because of her dads.

For now, though, all she can remember is that Rachel is mean. When she gets to kindergarten the next day, Rachel comes racing over, and for a second Quinn grins at her, because she's ready to forgive Rachel if she is ready to be nice. But Rachel primly informs her that while it's evident Quinn wants to be friends with Rachel, she can't, because Rachel is looking for like-minded friends who share her interests.

Quinn doesn't understand most of what Rachel says, but she understands that Rachel doesn't want to be friends with her. Quinn finds herself blinking back tears, but she waits until Rachel has gone outside to play in the sandpit before she lets them fall.

"Hey," says a voice, and Quinn sniffles before looking up. In front of her are two girls she saw playing together yesterday. Their names are Brittany and Santana.

Brittany wants to know what's wrong, and when Quinn tells them, Santana narrows her eyes. "You're not going to get her back by crying," she points out. "I'll go beat her up if you want?" She raises her tiny fists.

"San!" Brittany says. "That's mean."

Santana frowns, but she stops looking threatening, and she lets Brittany link their arms together. "Ok," she says. "I won't beat her up. Even though she's annoying."

"We like you better than her," Brittany explains to Quinn.

Quinn's eyes light up. "Really?"

"Yeah," Santana shrugs. "She talks too much."

Quinn hesitates. "Will you help me get her back? She was mean to me."

"Ok," Santana says immediately. "Let's be mean right back. We can be a club."

"A real one?" Quinn asks. She's never been in a club before. "What will we call it?"

"The 'I Hate Rachel Club'," Santana says. "And we can make everyone else join too."

"Ok," Quinn agrees readily.

They take up residence in a corner, and get to work. Brittany gets paper and crayons, and starts making them real cards ("Just like the ones my mommy has in her bedroom drawer,"), and Santana and Quinn plot out ways they can make Rachel cry.

This is the beginning of their friendship.

The first time they come over to Quinn's for a playdate, Judy Fabray finds Brittany crying in Quinn's bedroom, and they have to explain that they're playing a game and that Brittany is pretending to be Rachel. Judy looks a little dazed by the explanation, and later that night when Russell comes home, Quinn overhears her mother telling him that "Quinnie's friends just aren't like her at all – I didn't know what to do."

Later, Brittany mentions that her parents have said something similar. They understand from that that their friendship is not expected to last. But Santana and Quinn are competitive, and Brittany is willing to do whatever the others want to do, and it only makes them more determined than ever to be "the bestest friends in the world," Santana says fiercely. Brittany squeals when she says it, and hugs each of them in turn. Quinn wouldn't have dared, but Santana just shrugs, and lets her.

Over the years, Quinn sometimes wonders if this is the only thing keeping them together, this shared determination to prove their parents wrong.

They all beg to be allowed to attend the same elementary school. Brittany's and Santana's parents give in pretty easily, but Quinn's parents waver until Santana's Mami rings up and pleads with them because Santana's been so much more manageable since she met Quinn and Brittany. So, swayed by the feeling that they're doing 'A Good Thing', Quinn's parents give in.

During school, Santana and Brittany seem happy for the three of them to keep to themselves. Quinn spends most of her time with them, of course, and she always picks them to be her partners for class projects, but she talks to other kids too. Except that she's not really that nice to them, because she doesn't want to seem like Brittany and Santana aren't her best friends anymore, and she gets a reputation for being "kinda nasty" in first grade, and "a bitch" when they're a little older. At first it upsets her, but then she realizes that it makes the other kids scared of her, and that means they're easy to boss around.

When she tells her dad about it, he laughs and ruffles her hair and says, "That's my girl." Quinn glows with pride, and decides she wants power like this for the rest of her life.

Santana gets a reputation as a bitch even earlier than Quinn, because she won't talk to anyone else except for Brittany and Quinn, and if other kids try, she either yells at them or beats them up for their efforts. In fourth grade, she and Quinn fight about it, because Quinn thinks it's stupid to hit someone when you could just tell them to go away, and Quinn spends a whole month not talking to Santana or Brittany, because Brittany took Santana's side. She goes off to talk to the other kids in the class, and for the first time she makes real friends that aren't Santana or Brittany.

Later, she'll wonder if this was what made the difference, because while she was making friends with other people, Brittany and Santana stuck with each other. In the end, she only goes back to their friendship because her mom comments that she hasn't seen them for a while and looks pleased about it, and it makes Quinn remember why they were friends in the first place. So she goes up to them before school starts one day and acts like everything is normal, and they don't say anything about it, just accept her back as if the whole fight had never happened in the first place.

There's something different about it, though, because they all used to be friends equally, and now Brittany and Santana favor each other over her. At first, it stings when they hang out together without her, but pretty soon it becomes normal, and Quinn shrugs and hangs out with some of the friends she made while she wasn't speaking to them.

It gets more obvious, though, as they get older. She and Santana start to fight more, and Brittany can't always mediate them back into peace. They don't hang out much with all three of them anymore – Brittany and Santana hang out, obviously, and Quinn and Brittany spend a lot of time together too, but the routines they had when they were younger, like going to the movies two Saturdays a month, and having sleepovers on Friday nights, die out.

Apparently Santana and Brittany still have the sleepovers, though. Quinn kind of really wants to go, because she misses the way they used to be, but she doesn't want to bring it up because that'll look like she cares or something.

When they're twelve, Quinn dates Nick Samuels for a couple of weeks, and somehow it has the effect of bringing their slowly falling apart friendship back together again. Brittany and Santana listen, wide-eyed, as Quinn recounts how he took her to the movies and held her hand, and then kissed her on the cheek when her mom came to pick them up. Santana keeps glancing over at Brittany while Quinn's talking, but she listens with rapt attention.

"You guys should get boyfriends too," Quinn says, "and then we'll all go on dates together."

Brittany nods enthusiastically, but when Quinn asks her who she wants to date, she can't think of anyone. Quinn tries asking Santana, but Santana just smiles and doesn't say anything.

A year later, in seventh grade, they're in class when some guy calls Kurt Hummel a fag. Kurt cries and runs out of the classroom, and everybody laughs until the teacher yells at them. Quinn goes to laugh along with the rest of them, but she glances at Santana and sees her sitting absolutely still, lips pressed together and her face slowly draining of colour. Quinn's about to ask her what's wrong, when she sees Santana glance at Brittany, who looks troubled. A terrible suspicion crosses her mind.

She's gotten closer with the other two since the year before. She and Santana had realized that together, they could pretty much rule the school, and that had been enough incentive to start hanging out again until they'd gotten close enough to be sharing secrets. Neither Santana nor Brittany had ever given any indication that they had a secret like this, but Quinn saw those shared looks, and she is determined to find out what's going on.

"So," she says casually after school when they're waiting for their parents to come pick them up. "Are there any boys you like in our class?"

Santana shrugs noncommittally. "They're all morons," she says. "Why would I want to date any of them?"

"Yeah," Brittany agrees. She's hanging onto Santana's arm. Quinn tries not to notice, but her mind is flooding with images of how touchy-feely they are with other, how Santana would kill anyone else who dared to get that close to her. "I mean," Brittany continues, "most of them can't even spell their own names."

Quinn wants to laugh meanly, because Brittany has trouble counting past ten, but she knows Brittany has learning difficulties while those guys in there are just assholes, so she nods.

"Yeah," she says, "but don't you like anyone?"

"No," Santana says, looking pissed off. "I told you."

She holds tighter to Brittany as she speaks. Quinn eyes them, and shrugs, half turning away.

"Ok," she says, keeping her tone light. "I don't care. But other people might."

"What do you mean?" Santana's words are clipped. She's worried.

"Well," Quinn says, "if you don't like any boys…" She pauses deliberately, inspecting her nails. "People might think you're gay or something."

"We're not!" Santana says instantly. Abruptly, she lets go of Brittany.

"I know," Quinn says, "but other people might not. And then if they think that, we'll never rule high school. Or get to be Cheerios."

Nobody says anything for a minute.

"I guess Puck is alright," Santana admits. She looks like she's chewing a lemon. "And Britt thinks Mike is nice, don't you Britt?"

"Yeah," Brittany says quietly. She's been silent this whole conversation, but she looks like she's about to burst into tears. Quinn feels a twinge of guilt, but this is for their own good.

"Ok," she says as a car pulls up. "That's my mom. See you later."

She smiles as she gets in the car, because damn, she's good at damage control. But as they drive away, she looks back to see Santana taking Brittany's hand again, and using her thumb to wipe tears off Brittany's cheeks. Quinn scowls.

But the next day, Santana saunters up to Puck, who flinches instinctively, and informs him that he's taking her out on Friday night. Puck looks shell-shocked, but he nods, and when she walks away, he smirks at his friends. When she turns back, he stops hurriedly.

Santana dates him on and off for a while. She treats him like crap, but he doesn't seem to mind, and treats her pretty much the same. She boasts about how hot he is, and how far they've gotten. They're fourteen when they sleep together for the first time.

Quinn's half pleased and half worried out of her mind, because she'd only meant to head off any possible rumours and to reassure herself that her best friends weren't secretly seeing each other, but now Santana's had sex, which Quinn doesn't think is right because they're only fourteen and Quinn herself is saving that particular step for marriage. Plus, whenever Santana and Puck are broken up, Santana seems to hook up with any other guy around. Quinn's pretty sure Santana must have made out with every guy in their grade other than Kurt Hummel.

What's worse is when Brittany starts to follow in Santana's footsteps. She doesn't actually date anyone, but she makes out with guys as if it means nothing, and it scares Quinn because Brittany's always been so innocent, and now she's running around hooking up with any boy who will go for her, which, let's face it, is everyone.

And what would make it all worth it is if she could feel some achievement, if she could stop having to worry about her best friends hooking up with each other, which would be gross and unnatural and wrong. But they still spend as much time together as they always have, are still constantly in some kind of physical contact, and it mocks Quinn every time she's around them because she's managed to turn them into the biggest sluts in middle school, but she hasn't managed to make them keep their hands off of each other.

Thankfully no one else seems to notice, so Quinn lets it slide and doesn't talk to anyone else about it.

Quinn herself dates a couple of guys, but she always dumps them because they try to go too far. It's not that she doesn't want to go further, because she like kissing a lot, and in truth she wants to try out some of those things Brittany and Santana keep talking about, but she's been taught to wait until marriage, and she knows she's supposed to be the 'good girl' of the three of them.

But sometimes, she really hates expectations.

The first time Quinn's attracted to a girl is near the beginning of freshman year. Her name is Lisa Reynolds, and when they're changing for gym class one day, Quinn catches herself checking her out. At first she brushes it off, because she's only looking to compare, obviously, except then every time she sees her, she can't take her eyes off her.

That's when the panic sets in, because looking at Lisa gives her the same strange, tingly feelings she gets when she looks at hot boys, and she knows what that means.

Quinn locks herself in her bedroom for an entire weekend, alternately praying and crying, because this can't be happening to her. She's always tried to be good, never letting boys kiss her with her mouth open, trying to stop Brittany and Santana doing whatever it is they do with each. This? This is not fair.

Quinn emerges from her room on Monday morning. She's pale, a little red-eyed, but she's calm. It doesn't matter if she likes girls, because she's never going to do anything about it. She might like girls, but she likes boys a whole lot too, so if she just sticks to boys and ignores any feelings she might have for girls, it's all going to be ok. All she needs to do is get a boyfriend.

By that afternoon, she's dating Finn Hudson.

Santana and Brittany, however, obviously haven't thought things through the same way she has. Two days later she walks into the girls' locker room, and in the mirror around the corner, she can see the reflection of Brittany and Santana kissing one another.

Quinn watches them for a minute. She's seen both of them make out with guys before, but they look different making out with each other. They're gentler, somehow. Santana's got her hand cupped around Brittany's cheek, instead of roaming freely and teasingly over Brittany's body. When Brittany pulls back, she leans her forehead against Santana's, and they both smile.

Quinn walks away without saying anything. There's a weird feeling that's come over her, and she doesn't want to know what it is.

She waits until Friday, and then invites them both to sleep over at her place that night. Santana looks doubtful, but Brittany wants to go, so after Cheerios practice they all go back to Quinn's place and spend the night watching old episodes of Gilmore Girls until bedtime.

Quinn has a single bed, but a big room, and whenever Santana and Brittany sleep over, they drag in the mattress from the double bed her sister used to own before she went away to college. Quinn sleeps in her own bed, and Santana and Brittany share the mattress. This is how it's always been.

"Hey, Brittany," Quinn says that night, "your leg is still sore from practice, right? Why don't you sleep in the bed? I'll share the floor with Santana."

Brittany looks surprised. "Thanks, Q," she says gratefully. "That'd be nice."

Quinn chances a look at Santana. Her eyes are narrowed, and she's glaring at Quinn.

"Great," Quinn finds herself saying, and then adds, "I'm going to go get a drink of water," as an excuse to hurry out of the room.

When she gets back, Brittany's already snuggled down in her bed, hugging Quinn's old teddy bear. Santana is on her side under the sleeping bag they use as a blanket, facing away from Quinn.

"Well," Quinn says, getting onto the other side of the mattress and carefully rolling away from Santana, "goodnight."

Brittany, already half asleep, murmurs a reply. Santana says nothing.

Quinn lies awake for a while. Brittany is snoring softly, but Santana is still and silent next to her, and Quinn knows she isn't asleep. She waits a little longer, and then turns over to face her.

"S?" she whispers. Santana doesn't move, and Quinn tries again. "Santana?"

"What?" Santana grunts. She's irritated, but she's obviously trying to keep her voice down so she doesn't wake Brittany.

Quinn pauses. She has the opportunity, but she doesn't know what she wants to say. "What are you doing with Brittany?" she asks finally.

Santana tenses, and stays facing away from Quinn. "We're not doing anything," she snaps. "What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about," Quinn says. "I saw you guys. In the locker room."

There's a long silence, and then Santana turns over to face her. "Ok," she says. "So you know. Whatever. It's fine."

"No, it's not 'fine'!" Quinn hisses. Impulsively, she reaches out to grab Santana by the arm. "You know you can't do this!"

Santana wrenches her arm away from Quinn. "Do what, Q? Have a life outside of you?"

"You can't like girls!"

Quinn's voice has risen; she swallows before continuing. "You know it's wrong."

"It's not wrong," Santana says. Her voice is low, and flat.

"Yes, it is!" Quinn insists. "You know it is!

"I love her!" Santana hisses suddenly. "I love her, Quinn, and I don't care what anyone says, that can't be wrong!"

There's a silence for a minute. They're both staring at one another, eyes wide, half sitting up.

"S," Quinn says quietly, carefully, "have you ever thought that maybe when the whole world agrees on something, and you're the only one who doesn't, that maybe it's because they're right?" She waits a beat, and then adds, "What you and Brittany are doing is wrong, Santana, and it has to stop."

Santana swallows. "You don't know what you're talking about, Fabray," she mutters. "So back the fuck off." Abruptly, she turns over and curls up. The conversation is clearly over.

Quinn sighs, looking down at her. She turns back over away from Santana, and her eyes meet Brittany's in the darkness.

For a full minute, Quinn stares, frozen. How could they have missed the fact that Brittany's snores had stopped?

"Britt," she says, quickly, but Brittany shakes her head. Her eyes are shining wetly, and she closes them as she turns away from Quinn.

Quinn spends the rest of the night lying on her back, staring up at the ceiling. Guilt has settled in the pit of her stomach, and she hates herself for feeling like she's done the wrong thing.

They still talk to one another at school, of course, because they're determined that by this time next year they're going to be ruling McKinley, and they need to work together for that. But outside of school, Santana and Brittany have as little contact with Quinn as possible.

Quinn takes out her frustration on Rachel Berry, who she hasn't seen since kindergarten because they've been at different schools, but is still as annoying as she was twelve years ago. And nothing really changes until sophomore year, just after they've joined Glee Club in an effort to take down the losers, when Quinn stays behind after a Cheerios practice to talk to Coach Sylvester about routines. Afterwards she walks into the locker room, expecting it to be empty, and instead finds Santana and Brittany, both topless, and Brittany's hand moving busily underneath Santana's pushed up skirt.

Quinn makes a strangled noise and they break apart, turning to her, but Quinn backs out fast and flees. She's horrified with herself, because instead of feeling disgusted at what she saw, there's a warmth low in her abdomen that she recognizes, and she's desperate for it to go away.

That night, she sleeps with Puck.

It's not bad, the sex; he makes her come twice, and she's relieved afterwards, because it affirms that she does like guys, that they can turn her on as much as finding her female friends having sex can. But then she feels worse, partly because she cheated on Finn, who she loves, sort of, in a comfortable way, and mostly because she's just had sex, which she swore she wouldn't do until marriage. She's never ever let Finn get further than first base and a half. She's ruined everything.

It seems only fair a few weeks later when her period doesn't come, and she ends up staring at a positive pregnancy test.

She sits there for a full hour, staring at it. She knows how she got here, and she knows she deserves it, but she wants to run away, or cry, or do something. Only she can't, because she's got to think about what she's going to do.

She decides on telling Finn he's the father, because she knows it'll be better for the baby, and because she can't face telling him that she cheated on him with his best friend. She cries when she tells him, because she's scared, and because she's just so ashamed of herself. Apparently, he tells Puck, because then she has to explain to Puck why he wouldn't be a good father, which, honestly, is just exhausting.

And of course, what Puck knows, Santana knows, and what Santana knows, Brittany knows. Quinn's hiding in a bathroom stall at lunchtime because she can't face sitting with the Cheerios and pretending like there's nothing wrong. When she hears the door open, she just sits silently, and hopes whoever it is will go away.

But then she hears Santana's voice saying, "You in here, Fabray?" and somebody bangs on the stall door. "If that's somebody else in there, then get the hell out."

Sighing, Quinn opens the door. "What do you want?" she asks wearily.

"Hey, Preggo," Santana says easily.

"Santana," Brittany chides, and then she looks anxiously at Quinn. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Quinn says shortly. "I'm fine. Who told you?"

"Duh," Santana says, rolling her eyes. "Who do you think told me?"

Quinn's eyes narrow. "I'm going to kill Puck," she hisses.

"Easy there," Santana says. "You'll hurt your growth."

Quinn glares at her. "What the hell are you doing here?" she asks them both. "Come to gloat?"

"No!" Brittany says.

"Well then," says Quinn, "come to tell me that everyone's going to know about this by the end of school?" Her voice shakes as she adds to Santana, "Guess you'll like being Head Cheerio."

"Shut up, Q," Santana snaps. "Has it occurred to you that we might be here to help?"

Quinn stares. "No!" she says, half horrified by this turn of events, because she's kind of gotten used to their weird dynamic. "Of course not!"

Brittany frowns, and abruptly, she pulls Quinn forward into a hug. Quinn stumbles, gasping, and tenses in Brittany's arms, because outside of Cheerios and Glee practice, they haven't willingly touched each other since that night at Quinn's house. She fights to pull away, but Brittany holds on tighter, and after a few seconds she gives in, melting into the other girl.

"You're an ass, Fabray," Santana says matter-of-factly. "But we're going to help you anyway."

Quinn squeezes her eyes shut against Brittany's shoulder, because she sort of wants to cry again. "How?" she asks, her voice muffled by Brittany. "I'm pregnant, you guys. What can you do?"

"There are places," Brittany says softly. "We can take you to one, if you want."

"What?" Quinn raises her head to look at her, stepping back in shock. "No! I can't – I can't do that!"

"Calm down, Juno," Santana says, raising her hands in mock surrender. "We're just saying – it's an option."

"No, it's not," Quinn says firmly. "Not for me."

"Alright," Brittany says. "That's fine. We'll just… be here for you."

Quinn blinks, and looks down at the floor. "Why?" she asks hollowly.

"Because, stupid," Brittany chides softly. "We're friends." She hesitates, and then adds, "Right, Santana?"

Santana sighs, and punches Quinn on the shoulder. "Right, Fabray. We're friends."

Quinn gives them a smile, and then bursts into tears.

True to their word, they stick by her, defending her from insults and taunts. They can't stop her from being kicked off of Cheerios, or from sliding down the social ladder, but Santana kicks ass the first time Quinn gets slushied, and after that people just tend to ignore her in silence.

They even start to indulge her pregnancy cravings, and Santana barely even rolls her eyes when she has to run out for ice cream or pickles or whatever else Quinn has decided she needs. Brittany starts bringing two bacon sandwiches to school with her every day, just in case Quinn wants them. They start showing up at Quinn's place regularly, bringing movies and fat free junk food that tastes like crap, or else forcing her out to the mall or to either of their places. When Quinn gets kicked out of home, the only difference they make is to show up at Finn's place instead of hers.

Quinn goes along with it and tries not to think about too much, because every time she does, she sort of wants to cry, and she's been crying way too much lately. It's just that they're so nice to her, and all she's ever done to them is try to manipulate them.

It's a little awkward at first, because whenever it's just the three of them, Santana and Brittany are happy to cuddle on the couch, or hold hands, or sneak kisses. The first time Quinn catches them kissing in Brittany's kitchen, when they'd only gone to get popcorn, a weird feeling comes over her that she doesn't want to analyze, and she clears her throat loudly. Brittany blushes and pulls away from Santana, but Santana shoots a pointed look at Quinn's stomach and drawls, "Yeah, because you're in such a great position to judge, Preggo."

Quinn blushes, and after that she just shrugs and ignores the way they're perpetually in physical contact with each other. If she's honest with herself – and she tries hard not to be – she doesn't really mind what they do. It's just that she really wants to mind.

She stops wanting to mind when everyone finds out about the real father of her baby. She doesn't expect Santana or Brittany to be able to do anything about that – and in the end they can't, because it all comes crashing down on her – but Brittany actually tries, attempting to deflect attention away from Quinn right before the drama unfolds.

Brittany has learning difficulties, but she's not stupid. She makes stupid comments, sure, because she has some misguided notion that it'll make everyone like her, and it actually works, so Santana and Quinn don't try to stop her, but they're calculated comments, designed for a purpose.

Sometimes, they can come in pretty useful.

Quinn isn't there, so she doesn't hear about it until after school while they're waiting for Glee to start. She walks into the choir room to find only Santana and Brittany, and Santana shoots her a murderous look.

"You'd better be happy, Fabray," she growls. "Do you know what Britt did for you this afternoon?"

Brittany's biting down on her bottom lip, but her eyes are twinkling and it looks like she's fighting not to smile. Quinn raises her eyebrows in question.

"She outed us to the entire Glee Club," Santana hisses.

"What?" Quinn gasps. "Why?"

Brittany shrugs. "They all know that Puck's the father," she tells Quinn a little gently. "I thought if they were talking about us instead, Rachel or Finn might not find out."

Quinn gapes at her. "But – but what about you guys?" she protests. Somehow, she doesn't quite catch the memo that almost the whole club knows about her baby daddy. "You could lose everything over this!"

"No, we won't," Brittany says easily. "Santana and I are at the top of the chain. If anyone slushies us, they'll be the outcasts."

Quinn stares, her mouth hanging open. "Britt," she whispers, and then she steps forward and hugs her tightly.

"Thank you," she whispers. She steps back to look at the two of them. "Thank you," she says again. "Honestly."

Santana raises an eyebrow, but then the other kids start filling into the room, so they can't talk anymore.

Five minutes after that, Finn storms in and punches Puck in the face.

By that night, Quinn's been kicked out of her second home, and has moved into Puck's. Santana and Brittany come over and stay the night, and Brittany hugs her while she cries. Santana doesn't say anything, but that's comforting enough anyway.

After that, Quinn's willing to put up with anything they do, because no matter what Brittany said, they've put everything at stake for her. She stops forcing herself to think of the two of them as wrong and instead, remembers the certainty in Santana's voice when she'd told Quinn she loved Brittany. Sometimes, she even lets herself feel jealous of them both.

Time goes on, and other dramas take over people's lives. There's Jesse, for one thing, causing friction with the rest of the group, and Kurt's embarrassingly obvious attempts to get Finn to fall in love with him, and then there's the lead up to Regionals and all the conflict with Vocal Adrenaline and somewhere in the middle of that Quinn finds herself at yet another house, living with Mercedes. Plus, there's Rachel's mom issues, but most people don't really pay a whole lot of attention to that, other than to wonder if she's going to leave New Directions to join Vocal Adrenaline.

And so they dance and sing and rap their way to Regionals, and then all of a sudden, it's competition day, and her mom is there and there's water running down her legs, and Beth is coming. Now.

Afterwards, when she's finally home – and it's her real home now, with her mom fussing over her, and the chair where her dad used to sit horribly empty – and Beth has been adopted by Shelby, Quinn allows herself to drift away for a few days and think of nothing at all. It's nice, not worrying about anything and not thinking about anyone, and she's annoyed when somebody comes into the room and forces her to snap out of it.

It's Santana, of course, who's shouting at her, and Quinn catches the words, "…Gone now, so get the fuck up and do something…" as well as, "… and seriously going to have to get a personal trainer on your ass because no way in fucking hell are you getting back on Cheerios like that…" but in between she catches Brittany grinning at her.

"B," she says, once she's actually sat up and can look at them without blinking from the unexpected light, "please, can't you shut your girlfriend up?"

Brittany doesn't have to do anything, because Santana stops abruptly. Quinn knows why; she's never said the word girlfriend before about the two of them, and this is a momentous occasion. Come to think of it, she's not sure Santana and Brittany even use the word themselves.

"Shove over, Juno," Santana says after a minute. "We brought movies."

It turns out the movies aren't enough to cheer her up, because she's been pretty depressed ever since she got home from the hospital. She doesn't even smile all the way through The Hangover, and Brittany keeps glancing anxiously at her. At the end, when Quinn just sighs, Santana rolls her eyes and reaches over to her bag.

"Here," she says, pulling out a bottle of vodka. "I was hoping we wouldn't have to resort to this."

Quinn's eyes widen, and she casts a worried look at her closed bedroom door. Before all of this, her mom would have killed her if she'd known there was alcohol in the house, but she's been so worried and awkward around Quinn lately, so Quinn thinks she could probably do just about anything and her mom would still forgive her.

Still… "Put that away, S," Quinn says firmly. "I don't drink. Not since it sent me to Puck."

"Oh come on," Santana scoffs, "like it was the alcohol that did it. Man the fuck up Quinn, and just admit you wanted him."

Quinn swallows. Hesitantly, she reaches out for the bottle.

They drink it straight, passing the bottle between them. Quinn hates the taste, but she forces it down anyway. She remembers feeling happy last time she drank. She wants to feel that again.

The buzz hits her suddenly, while Santana and Brittany are still mainly sober. It's probably because she doesn't drink often, not since nine months ago, and she doesn't recognize the feeling of being tipsy until she's already tipped over into being drunk. She realizes how far gone she is when she's laughing and falling against her bed, but the realization only makes her laugh harder, because the thought of being drunk just seems so funny, all of a sudden.

It also makes her much more talkative than she should have been, and before she knows what's happening, she's pouring out her feelings about Santana and Brittany's relationship, and the way she wants to hate it – has always wanted to hate it – but has never really been able to. Neither of them say anything, they just listen, and giggle, because they're getting drunker too, and occasionally look at each other, so Quinn goes on and on, talking about church and about expectations, and about how she'd really only slept with Puck because she really liked boys, but she couldn't stop thinking about girls. Specifically because she couldn't stop thinking about how she'd caught Santana and Brittany in the locker room, and the way it made her feel.

There's a sudden silence when she says that, and dimly, Quinn's aware that those particular facts weren't ever supposed to get spoken out loud. Santana's face settles into something that's half stony fury and half something else she can't place.

"So what you're saying," Santana says, voice low and dangerous, "is that you gave us all that bullshit because you were having gay panic issues?"

"Yeah!" Quinn says brightly, pleased that Santana's grasped the concept so quickly. "That's it!"

"San," Brittany warns. "Don't."

Santana looks at her, and then back at Quinn. There's still that weird look on her face, and Quinn giggles at the thought that Santana might be about to beat her up. But then Santana just sighs and takes the bottle out of Quinn's hands.

"Go to sleep, Fabray," she says, and pushes Quinn until she's lying down on her bed.

Quinn obediently closes her eyes and lies still, and once she's lying there, she realizes that she's so incredibly tired. She doesn't think she could get up if she tried.

She can hear Santana and Brittany whispering to each other as she falls asleep.

When she wakes up in the morning, the others are passed out on her bed, which, since she came home, has thankfully been upsized to a double. Quinn barely takes a second look at them, and then runs to the bathroom, grateful her mom's already at work.

She's just finished puking her guts up, and sat back on her heels, when the hazy memories of last night, and all the things she told them, come back to her. She raises herself back up on her knees and throws up again.

She expects Santana to kick her ass, but surprisingly, she doesn't. Instead, she just keeps making suggestive comments about Quinn hooking up with every girl they've ever met, but she does it in a nice way, which means that it's only when no one else except Brittany is around. She's not going to ruin Quinn's slowly strengthening reputation.

What changes is that both Brittany and Santana start to be more casual, and more touchy feely around her. And not just with each other, but with Quinn too. It starts when they're watching Mean Girls on Santana's couch – none of them would ever admit it, but they'd modeled themselves on the Plastics back in elementary school when they'd planned to rule McKinley High – and Brittany pulls Quinn into her arms and hugs her throughout the entire movie, instead of cuddling with Santana. Quinn is surprised, but she lets her, and they all quote along with the movie like normal.

It doesn't stop there though – Brittany keeps holding onto Quinn's arm when they walk around school, and Santana leans on her shoulder when they sit next to each other and sometimes Brittany will kiss her on the cheek completely casually, as if she's always done it.

Quinn comes to expect it, and then to look forward to it. Nobody else seems to notice anything at all, so Quinn lets it happen, and doesn't question it.

A few months before Nationals, Mr Schue pairs them up to do duets again, and Santana and Quinn end up together. The aim is to find a show tune that expresses a strong emotion, and before Quinn can say anything, Santana has suggested What is this Feeling from Wicked. Quinn shrugs, and after practice all three of them go back to her place to rehearse.

Brittany lounges on Quinn's bed, playing with her laptop, while Quinn and Santana argue over who gets to take which part. Santana wins, and takes the part of Elphaba, and then they argue about harmonies. When they've sung along to the CD a few times, they work on their choreography, with Brittany directing.

Finally, after an hour and a half, they run it properly, singing with the CD and dancing around the room. At the end, when Elphaba is supposed to laugh, Santana kisses her.

Quinn squeaks in shock, and pushes her off.

"What are you doing?" she demands, eyes wide.

"You couldn't tell?" Santana drawls, eyebrows raised. "Christ, I knew it had been a while, Q, but -,"

"You kissed me!" Quinn interrupts, unable to stop staring. She shoots a look at Brittany, who looks completely relaxed. "Why did you kiss me?"

"Come on," Santana scoffs. "It's a love song. How else would I end it?"

"It is not a love song!" Quinn protests. "They hate each other."

"Oh my god, Fabray,' Santana shakes her head. "Have you ever even seen the musical?"

"Have you?" Quinn shoots back.

Santana looks embarrassed.

"I love it," Brittany says enthusiastically. "We went twice."

"Whatever," Santana snaps. "They're totally into each other, ok?"

"Fine, whatever," Quinn says. "Let's just run it again."

As the music starts, Quinn misses her cue, and instead of reading the letter to her parents, she asks, "Are you going to kiss me again?"

Santana winks at her. "Do you want me to?"

Quinn blushes.

They go through it again, and as they approach the end, Quinn waits, a little tense. When the song's almost over, Santana presses her lips against Quinn's once again.

This time, Quinn kisses back, and then scrambles away, looking guiltily at Brittany.

"Where are you going, loser?" Santana asks. "You're ruining the end of the song."

"I -," Quinn cuts herself off. "We can't – I mean – what about Brittany?"

They both turn to the blonde who's still relaxed on Quinn's bed. "What?" Brittany asks. "Santana likes kissing."

Quinn blinks, and wonders if that's permission. She's aware that, even now, Brittany and Santana's relationship isn't clearly defined. But they both seem totally fine with it, so Quinn shrugs and gives in.

They run it a few more times, each with kisses lasting longer than the one before, and then break with the promise of practicing again tomorrow. After they're gone, Quinn lies on her bed with a strange feeling in her stomach. She knows she should feel bad about this, but she really liked kissing Santana.

When they perform it in Glee at the end of the week, Quinn's heart is beating fast. She cracks the others up with the choreography – for which she has Brittany to thank – and she's pleased, but the whole time she's focused on the end of the song, and wondering if Santana's going to kiss her here, in front of everyone. She kind of really, really hopes she will.

When they reach the end of the song, Santana shouts 'Boo!' and Quinn screams, and this is the part where normally they kiss. But a second goes by without anything, and Quinn's feeling the disappointment wash over her when suddenly Santana's lips are against her own. Quinn kisses back automatically, and until they break apart, she doesn't hear the cheers of the boys, and the gasps from everyone else.

She blushes, but Rachel's already standing up, telling them that she's excessively pleased that they'd found the deeper meaning in the song – although she wouldn't have expressed it in quite the same manner.

"Shut up, Rachel," she and Santana both say, but it's friendly, and Rachel grins happily at them before taking her turn with Tina to do a hilarious rendition of It Sucks to be Me.

By the end of practice, Mr Schue is still blushing and coughing every time he looks at Santana and Quinn. As soon as he's rushed away, Matt tells them all that his parents are out of town for the weekend, so he's throwing a party.

"Awesome," Puck crows, leering at Quinn and Santana. "You can continue your show."

Quinn feels her whole body flush, but Santana rolls her eyes and hits Puck in the arm. He winces.

On Saturday night, Quinn shows up to Matt's house around nine o'clock. There's already a whole bunch of people there, and the music is turned up so loud she can hardly hear Matt's voice as he lets her in. She accepts a drink from him, and looks around for somebody she knows.

She ends up sitting with Finn on a couch, which is awkward because they really haven't talked since the baby drama. They manage a conversation, and Quinn downs too many drinks to make it less weird, so by the time Brittany and Santana show up, she's buzzed.

"Hey," Brittany says, giving her a hug hello. Her hands are kind of inappropriately low, but Quinn only grins and hugs back.

"Hey!" she shouts back, and gives Santana a hug too, who returns it loosely. "Isn't this party awesome?"

Santana laughs, and takes the drink out of Quinn's hand, finishing it in one gulp. "Sure, Fabray," she says, and then adds, "I'm going to the bathroom."

She threads her way through the crowd and out of sight, and Quinn turns to Brittany. She's grinning, unable to stop herself. Her grin only grows wider when Brittany grabs her hand, interlocking their fingers.

"Come on," Brittany shouts into her ear. "Let's go dance."

Quinn follows behind, her eyes still bright, as they join what is serving as a dance floor. They get pushed together by everyone else, and as they dance, Quinn can feel Brittany's body moving against her own. She feels suddenly warm.

Brittany grins down at her, and steps even closer, looping her arms around Quinn. She moves her hips against Quinn's, and Quinn smiles a little uncertainly, but doesn't move away. Brittany's hands slide down and further down still, and suddenly they're cupping Quinn's ass. Quinn's eyes go wide.

"Britt," she starts, but Brittany puts her hands on Quinn's shoulders and turns her around so that Quinn's back is pressed against Brittany's front.

"Don't worry, Q," Brittany says in her ear. "Just dance."

So Quinn does, letting Brittany's hands run over her skin. Honestly, it's a little bit worrying, but kind of fun, too, and that's when Brittany steps it up.

Quinn gasps, because Brittany's kind of grinding against her, her hands way too close to Quinn's breasts, and holy shit, is that Brittany's mouth on her neck?

Quinn squeaks and pulls away, half turning around, and that's when she sees Santana approaching from the other side of the room.

Quinn's eyes widen, and she scrambles away from Brittany altogether because Santana had to have seen that and Quinn's made out with Santana but she's never done anything with Brittany other than innocent kisses and touches and shit, shit, shit, Santana's going to freaking cut her. Quinn wants to be a badass and fight back, but she's had too much to drink and she doesn't think she's up to fighting Santana right now.

But the world must have ended, because when Santana reaches them, she just takes Brittany's hand and nods at Quinn.

"Hey, Q," she says casually, and Quinn can't stop herself from staring.

"Hey," she responds, frowning, because Santana should be hitting her right now and she isn't, and it's weird.

"Let's go upstairs," Brittany says brightly. "I heard Matt's bedroom door has a lock on it."

She doesn't seem to be directing her words at either one of them in particular, but Quinn turns away, because if Santana and Brittany are locking themselves in a bedroom, that's something she's definitely not a part of.

"Quinn," Brittany says, and she's frowning. "Where are you going?"

"Uh," Quinn says, blinking at them. "I thought you guys were going upstairs."

"We are," Brittany says, and then she holds a hand out to Quinn.

Quinn stares at it for a moment, confused. Brittany's other hand is holding tightly to Santana's, and Quinn stands stupidly as she tries to figure out what's going on.

Brittany nudges Santana, and Santana sighs and puts out her other hand to Quinn.

"Come on, Q," she snaps. "Can't you see what we're offering here?"

The realization washes over her, and Quinn's eyes go wider than she'd thought was possible. She stares down at their hands and then back up to their faces, and she gulps because holy shit, they're serious about this.

"Are you -," she tries, and then stops, because her voice is a squeak.

"We want you," Brittany says simply. "Don't you want us?"

All around them is the noise of the party. There's a couple making out on the couch, and some guys stacking beer cans into a pyramid, and a bunch of kids doing shots and cheering each other on. It's all so normal, and ordinary, and Quinn's standing in the middle of it being propositioned by her two best friends.

"Um," she says.

Santana's eyes flash, and she glares. "Christ, Q, it's not fucking rocket science," she says. "Do you want to or not?"

Quinn hesitates. On the surface of her mind, she's freaking out, but underneath that, there's a feeling of yes.

"Come with us, Quinn," Brittany says earnestly. "Please?"

Behind them, she can hear Puck making lewd comments about a girl who just walked in. She swallows, looking at Brittany's pleading face, and takes their hands.

Brittany beams.

It's a little awkward, that first time with the three of them. Brittany leads them upstairs and into Matt's room, where it's quieter and darker. She lets go of them to wrestle with the lock on the door, but Santana keeps holding onto Quinn's hand, which is weird because Quinn had kind of figured that Santana was only doing this for Brittany's sake.

But then Brittany clicks the lock into place and comes back over to them, and then they're right there in front of her, and Quinn can only stand there, nervous and unsure. She really doesn't know what she's doing, because she's only had sex one time before, and that was with a guy, when there were only two of them in the room, and she's not sure how this is all going to work. Her heart is thumping loudly, and she doesn't know if it's fear or excitement. Maybe it's a combination of both.

"Don't worry, Q," Brittany whispers. "We'll take care of you."

And then she's kissing her, her lips soft but insistent against Quinn's own, and Quinn's kissing back automatically before she has time to think about it. Brittany pulls away and Santana steps in to take her place, kissing more forcefully than Brittany had. And then Santana turns around to kiss Brittany, and Quinn stands still, watching them, sure that she's supposed to be doing something, but her brain has stopped working and she doesn't know what to do.

She didn't think she'd ever be standing here, watching her two best friends make out in front of her and waiting for her turn.

Santana turns to grin at her, and it tugs at something low in Quinn's stomach. She holds tight to Santana's hand, and lets herself be led to the bed.

So, ok, the sex isn't totally awesome, because Quinn really doesn't know what she's doing, and so she doesn't do much of anything. She lets the others do things to her; undressing her and kissing her and touching her and finally, after a few freak outs, letting Santana slip her hand between her thighs. It's an amazing feeling, what Santana's giving her, and Quinn closes her eyes and lets it wash over her. Brittany's on her other side, peppering kisses over her skin, and when Quinn finally goes still, Brittany presses her lips against Quinn's again, bringing her back down.

She relaxes afterwards, mainly just watching as Brittany and Santana continue on with each other. She's happy to be kissed when they feel like it, and she even dares to cup one of Brittany's breasts while Santana's got her head between Brittany's legs. Brittany moans when she does it, and it makes Quinn a little proud. When it's Santana's turn, and Brittany's two fingers deep in her, Santana pulls Quinn forward and runs her hands over her. It's surprising, but it's good.

She'd expected that when it was all over, she'd be kicked out of the room to leave them in peace, but as Santana comes down from her high, Brittany lies down, wrapping her arms around Quinn. Santana, when she opens her eyes again, puts her arm over both of them, and they all lie there in silence for a few minutes, waiting for their breathing to go back to normal.

"So," Quinn says finally. "I guess – I guess I should leave you guys alone now."

She tries to sit up, but Brittany squeaks and Santana holds her down.

"Don't go," Brittany says, and Santana sits up to look down at her.

"Seriously, Fabray, how are you this fucking stupid?" she asks. "We're not just asking you for sex."

Quinn blinks up at her, speechless. "But then-,"

"We want you," Brittany says again, sitting up too. "We want you to be our girlfriend."

Quinn concentrates very hard on breathing in and out. "Girlfriend," she repeats on an exhale.

"Yeah," Brittany nods. "And we'd be yours."

Quinn stares at them, and then somebody bangs on the door.

"Who's in there?" a guy's voice shouts.

Quinn tenses, and scrambles off the bed to grab her clothes. Brittany and Santana follow, getting dressed quickly, and when they're all decent, Quinn opens the door.

Matt's standing there, frowning. When he sees the three of them come out, he relaxes.

"Oh, hey guys," he says. "I'm so glad it was you in there. I thought there were people having sex in my bed or something."

Santana smirks, and none of them say anything.

Quinn flees straight home from the party, avoiding Brittany calling after her. She spends all of the next day locked in her room, considering what had happened the night before. She can't quite believe she had sex with her best friends. She can't believe they asked her to become part of their relationship.

She especially can't believe she wants to say yes.

"Mom?" she says at dinner that night. "If God says something's wrong, is it wrong in every situation?"

Judy looks at her sharply. "What do you mean, Quinnie?"

"Well," Quinn says, and hesitates, choosing her words carefully. "I mean – what if you love the wrong person?" Or people, she adds in her mind, but she can't bring herself to say it out loud.

Judy's eyes soften, and she puts her hand over Quinn's on the table. "Honey, you can love whoever you want," she says. "I don't care. And if it's real love, God won't care either. He wants you to be happy."

Quinn finds herself blinking back tears. "Thanks, Mom," she whispers.

When she gets to school the next morning, Santana doesn't meet her eyes, and Brittany looks worried.

"Yes," Quinn says quietly, catching up to them in the hallway. "Yes, I want you guys. I want to be your girlfriend."

They stare at her for a moment, and then Brittany breaks out into a huge smile. Santana's almost grinning, too. Brittany throws her arms around Quinn and kisses her on the cheek.

"We're all going to make each other so happy," she promises Quinn.

Quinn believes her.