AN: I've had this idea for a while so I decided to finally write it. The Rachel in this story is a lot more sarcastic and a bit of a smart ass than the Rachel on the show. Very AU with Kurt (and maybe a few others—I haven't decided yet) the only New Directioner Rachel knew before college. Rachel and Kurt are new freshies moving to the big state of California from Ohio. Rachel becomes bffs with roomie Quinn and catches the eye of her older brother Puck, the quarterback with the bad reputation.
**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee**
"Diva, I swear, I am not your bellboy. Carry your own shit," Kurt Hummel muttered, lugging three shopping bags full of clothing out of the store. He often wondered why he did everything Rachel asked him to, but he supposed it was because she was like family to him.
"I'm only five foot, Kurt," Rachel Berry replied, following him out of the store, jogging a little so she was walking alongside him. "A brand new wardrobe is too much for me to carry. I'm only eighteen," she reminded him as the two of them walked up to Rachel's car, which was packed to the limit.
"I also don't see why the brand new wardrobe that was paid for by Daddy couldn't wait until after we checked into our dorms and moved our lives out of your car. These bags aren't going to fit in here, Rach. There's no space left."
Rachel rolled her eyes. "Relax, Boo. You can drive and I'll put them in the front with me. Lord knows I don't need all the space at my feet—I can just put my feet on the chair, even. Here's one of the few times it pays to be small," she joked, unlocking the car before tossing the keys to Kurt. Rachel climbed in while Kurt piled the bags at her feet.
She ended up pulling her knees to her chest to make room for everything. Kurt climbed into the driver's seat, looking at Rachel with a huge grin. "Can you believe we're actually here? It's official, Diva—we're college students."
"Not quite, Kurtie. We still have to actually move into said college before we can officially consider ourselves actual college students."
"Close enough," he said, turning the key as he started the car. Some obnoxious pop song Rachel adored started playing from the radio, causing Rachel to immediately drop the conversation as she started belting the words out at the top of her lungs. Kurt loved Rachel with all his heart, but he would never understand her taste in music. She listened to a combination of sugary pop songs that made his ears bleed and Broadway. Of course, since she knew he couldn't stand top 40 music, she always played that when she was in the car with him, just to torture him.
"Not close enough. I refuse to allow us to refer to ourselves as college students until we are officially living in a college dormitory, sharing a bathroom with an entire hall of people, and being forced to share a tiny living space with a complete stranger."
"I don't see why we're even doing dorm living, Rach. Your dads offered to pay for an apartment for us," he reminded her. "And do we have to listen to this shit? I know for a fact you have your Wicked soundtrack in the car," he muttered.
"Because we need to get a real, authentic college experience! Most freshmen don't live off campus in an apartment paid for by their gay fathers with their gay best friend. And I'm trying to culture you, Boo. What you call 'shit' I call music that every normal college freshman loves. How are you going to make friends and endure house parties if you can't bear ten seconds of Taylor Swift crooning about how whatever guy she just dated broke her heart?"
"Remind me to keep earplugs on hand when I go on a road trip with you again. This has been torture. You should offer yourself as an interrogator to the US government. I'm sure suspected terrorists would go mad and reveal any secrets if they spend five minutes in a car with you," he teased, elbowing her in the ribs as he drove the car into the parking lot in the front of their dorm building.
Kurt and Rachel had lucked out by being placed in the same dorm building—they were even on the same floor. Kurt was on the opposite side, but they were close enough that if Rachel was having one of her famous meltdowns, Kurt was close enough to talk her out of throwing her iPhone out the window like she had done after she didn't get tickets to see Phantom of the Opera when it was playing in Columbus during the summer.
Once they had parked, Rachel jumped out of the car, looking entirely too perky for someone who had spent the past two days in a cramped car eating McDonalds and Taco Bell for every meal. "Alright, babe," she said, clapping her hands together as she turned to face Kurt. "Start unloading my stuff while I go snag my key from the front desk," she commanded.
"Where do you think you're going, Diva? I thought we agreed I'd move in first since I never get to go first."
Rachel looked at him before letting out a laugh. "Please," she chuckled. "I only said that so you'd let me have the extra pillow at the hotel last night." Without giving him a moment to protest, she turned on her heel, heading into the dormitory, leaving Kurt with the packed car.
Rachel was his best friend and had been for his whole life, but she was a spoiled brat. Rachel was the only daughter of Leroy and Hiram Berry. Leroy was a well-known neurosurgeon while Hiram was a successful attorney and partner of a law firm. To put it simply, the Berrys were loaded, meaning Rachel got everything she wanted.
One would think with those jobs, Hiram and Leroy never spent any time with their daughter. It was quite the opposite, really. They made sure they were home every night for family dinner and made it to every school performance of Rachel's. She was very lucky in that aspect.
Rachel skipped back after a few minutes, pushing a giant cart with her. Kurt spotted the ring of keys swinging from her hand as he lifted one of her huge suitcases from the back of the car. "I see you checked in even though you promised I'd move in first," he teased, attempting to sound angry but failing miserably.
"You know I still love you, Boo. But I have so much more stuff than you. We really should move me in now so we're not stuck in my room at midnight still trying to find space for my CD collection."
"I don't see why you brought all you CDs," he laughed, starting to transfer her things into the cart she'd brought for him. "They invented digital music for a reason."
"It's not my fault I'm a music purist. I would have brought my record player and vinyl collection if Daddy hadn't stopped me from packing it," she pouted, looking genuinely annoyed.
"Diva, you are one of a kind," Kurt laughed, reaching over and ruffling her hair.
Rachel shot him a dirty look as she attempted to fix her straight brown hair. She ran a hand over her skirt, smoothing it out. Rachel was still dressed in her 'old' clothes, the ones she'd worn through high school. Every day, she'd shown up in a plaid skirt with a sweater and knee-high socks. At the time, Rachel had thought it was cute, but no one else seemed to—it was probably why she hadn't had a real boyfriend.
Kurt fit as much of her stuff into the cart as possible before starting to push it towards the building. Rachel shut the door to her car and locked it, running after Kurt. They were lucky and managed to grab an elevator before one of the other students grabbed it. Kurt pressed the 5, leaning against the wall as the elevator went up to her floor.
"What's your roomie's name again?" Kurt asked, having forgotten, even though Rachel had told him countless times.
"Quinn Fabray," Rachel said, rolling her eyes. "I think she's some kind of freak, though. I couldn't even find her on Facebook, and only weird Jesus freaks don't have Facebook."
"You know, she could just have her page hidden so 40-year-old perverts can't jerk off to her pictures in their mother's basements."
"Or maybe she's a freaky goth chick who's going to curse me while I sleep and draw pentagrams under my bed," Rachel laughed, skipping out the elevator door as it opened on her floor. Kurt pushed her things behind her, watching as Rachel headed down the hall to her room.
She put her key in the door, turning the lock and opening it. The room was already half full—Quinn had clearly moved in already. She wasn't here—Rachel suspected she was out getting school supplies or new clothes like Rachel had done earlier.
Kurt pushed her things into the room, closing the door behind him. Rachel found her stereo on top and set that up on her empty desk first. "Alright, what are we listening to while we unpack?" Rachel asked, digging through a plastic bag which contained her CDs.
"Broadway. Rap. Anything that's not Katy Perry or Taylor Swift," Kurt said, gagging slightly.
Rachel covered her mouth as she giggled, extracting her Rent soundtrack. She popped the disc out of the case, putting it in the player. She turned it on, cranking up the volume so the music filled the room.
"God, I love this show so much," she laughed, pulling out the bag that held her bedding. Kurt was putting her school supplies on her desk, making sure everything was organized just the way Rachel liked it—he'd spent enough time around her that he knew exactly where she liked certain things to go.
"Diva, I don't think you're going to have enough room for all your shit in this room. I mean, you only get half a closet—I don't think your shoes will even fit there," Kurt joked, causing Rachel to throw one of her pillows at him.
"Cut the sass, mister. You're here to provide free slave labor, not mock me," she laughed as Light my Candle started playing. Rachel grinned at Kurt.
He shook his head. "No. We have to unpack you. We're not doing this again."
Rachel pouted at him. "Kurtie, it's a friendship rule ever since we did this for the seventh grade talent show," Rachel protested before completely disregarding his protests and going right into character.
Just haven't eaten much today
At least the room stopped spinning anyway
What?
Kurt shook his head, dropping one of her textbooks on the desk as he walked over to Rachel. She'd climbed on the bed and had pulled out her hairbrush, using it as a microphone to sing.
Nothing. Your smiled reminded me.
Rachel let out a laugh of approval, turning to Kurt as she sang her next line. The two of them danced and jumped on the bed, belting out the song at the top of their lungs.
This right here was why Kurt was her best friend. She didn't know anyone else who would be willing to jump on a bed with her while simultaneously singing along to a musical soundtrack.
They say I have the best ass below 14th street. Is it true?
"I'll say she does," someone muttered. Rachel spun around, her hairbrush clattering to the floor,. Standing in the door was a petite blonde girl flanked by two larger guys. One of them was tall and a bit lanky with messy brown hair. The other was much more muscular with dark hair that had been buzzed into a Mohawk. All three of them were staring at her and Kurt.
"God Puck, do you always have to be such a pig?" the girl scolded, hitting the boy with the Mohawk in the chest. He was grinning, staring at Rachel with an expression that was a cross between amusement and desire.
Rachel's face was bright red. She was positive this was her new roommate, and she didn't want her first impression of her to be that Rachel was a freak who liked singing Broadway into her hairbrush, even if that happened to be one of Rachel's favorite things to do.
"Great, now you embarrassed her as well," the girl continued, smacking the boy in the shoulder. "You ruin everything!" The girl walked away from the boys who were watching her with protective eyes. ""I'm sorry for Captain America and Thor over there. I try not to bring them out in public that much. You must be Rachel. I'm Quinn," she said, looking up at Rachel.
Rachel hopped down from the bed, shooting Kurt a dirty look. He'd fallen onto the bed, clutching his stomach with laughter.
"Rachel," she said, taking Quinn's hand. "And the teen gay laughing behind me is Kurt," Rachel added.
"Diva, you know I hate when you call me that. I don't need everyone knowing I'm a teenager," Kurt called over to her.
Rachel wasn't sure what to think of Quinn. She wasn't a Jesus freak or a goth girl. She was like a girl from a Crest whitening strip commercial. Her blonde hair fell to her shoulders, a bow holding the top layer back behind her head. The bow matched her yellow sundress which fell to her knees. She had a short sleeved white sweater over it, covering her shoulders. She'd finished the entire look off with a pair of white, strappy sandals.
She looked like what Rachel imagined California would look like if it were an 18-year-old girl and not a state.
Quinn flashed another smile, showing off her pearly whites. They were like a damn fluorescent light bulb—Rachel made a mental note to invest in some sunglasses so she didn't go blind from Quinn's smile.
"And I'm completely and totally embarrassed right now that you discovered my dirty little secret. I might as well admit it now. Hi, I'm Rachel and I secretly sing show tunes into my hairbrush while jumping up and down on my bed."
That earned her a laugh from the two boys who were still lurking in the doorway. Quinn turned to face them, a hand on her hip. "God, you two are like nosy neighbors searching for some juicy gossip to spread around town. Come in why don't you. And shut the door behind you—I don't want some pervert freshman attempting to feel either of us up under the guise of 'helping' us move in."
Rachel felt her face heat up again and her heart beat as the boy with the Mohawk walked closer to her. He was super cute and he was obviously checking her out. Rachel wasn't used to goys looking at her that way—she was used to guys talking about her because she was a show choir freak.
"The wannabe secret service members behind me are Puck and Finn, my idiot brother and his equally idiotic best friend."
The one Quinn called Puck shot his hand out to Rachel, instantly taking hers. "Half-brother," he corrected. "And I'm a lot smarter than my sister gives me credit for."
"Oh god, Rachel. I can't believe you touched him. I'm going to have to take you to the health center so they can put you on a round of antibiotics."
Rachel laughed as Puck dropped her hand, shooting Quinn a look. "I'm clean, Blondie. Relax."
"Hey, I'm just looking out for my roomie."
Rachel smiled at Quinn before looking over at Kurt. "New best friend?" she asked him.
"Totally. It's like someone cloned you and fucked up the hair. I may have to avoid your room—I don't know if I can handle another diva in my life," he joked.
"Unless she's willing to belt out show tunes at the top of her lungs while dancing around in her underwear, you still need to stick around," Rachel laughed.
Puck laughed, looking down at Rachel as she bantered back and forth with Kurt. "In your underwear? Well, maybe I'll have to develop an appreciation for show tunes and replace your biffle in your midnight singing sessions."
Rachel's face went red at that. She tried to tell herself to shut her mouth, but she always seemed to talk more when she was either nervous or meeting new people. "Why of course. I'd even break out my sexiest granny pants for you," she joked.
Rachel heard Kurt groan from behind her. "And you wonder why people call you a tease," he called over to her.
Rachel averted her eyes from Puck, who was still staring at her. "Well, Kurt and I still have to check him in and get his shit out of my car. We'll have a bonding session tonight—I'm think Ben and Jerry's paired with cheesy movies?" Rachel suggested to Quinn before holding a hand up. "And no, you can't come, Boo," she added, giving Kurt a look. He stuck his tongue out at her. "We need a testosterone-free night."
"It's like you read my mind," Quinn giggled. "I'll make sure the A-Team is out of here by the time you get back." Quinn leaned over, pulling Rachel into a hug. "I'm so glad you're not some freaky goth girl who's determined to curse me," she whispered into Rachel's ear with a laugh.
"Right back at you, Quinnie. Remember, roommate bonding date tonight. Don't be late or I'll move your bed to the roof like they did in The Parent Trap—the one with a non-fucked up Lindsay Lohan," Rachel teased. She walked past Puck, her heart speeding up as she did so. She gave Quinn a wave before walking out of the room.
Kurt followed behind her, the two of them walking down the hall towards the elevator.
"Damn, did you see your twin's brother? What a babe. He was totally sexing you up with his eyes, you know. I could feel the 'fuck me' vibes coming off him. Thank god for your V status or I'd be worried you'd do something stupid," he laughed, linking arms with Rachel.
Rachel hit Kurt in the shoulder as she laughed, both of them heading down the stairs towards the parking lot. Rachel had the best roommate she could ask for who also happened to have a hot brother. A hot brother who couldn't stop checking her out.
One hour in and Rachel already loved college life.
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