Guess what day today is! –swoons- Yes, it is the loveable fiery Suzaku seishi Tasuki's birthday! –squeals- And in honor of this glorious day, I have written this odd...thing. ^_^ How did Tasuki's birthday go this year? Well, read on to find out...
I don't own Fushigi Yuugi...if I did...-drools at Tasuki poster-
Happy Birthday Tasuki!
On the morning of April 18, 2004, Tasuki, the fiery Suzaku seishi, woke from his bed with a grumble and a groan. He hated mornings, particularly in the Konan palace since there were so many huge windows with lots of sun able to shine through. Not that he minded the sunshine, but when you first wake up, it can be a little blinding.
After rolling out of bed and putting on some decent clothes—and his trademark jewelry—the bandit walked down the halls of the palace towards the dining room, yawning every few steps. He realized after awhile that it was quiet. Too quiet. Wouldn't Nuriko being squealing right about now? Where was Tamahome and his yelling that someone stole one of his coins?
"Hmm..." Tasuki muttered, stepping into the dining room. In an instant, he realized where everyone had gone.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TASUKI!" everyone cried.
"YAAAAAAAH!!!" he yelled, running around the room and whipping out his tessen. "REKKA—"
"Tasuki, hold it no da!" Chichiri ordered, grabbing Tasuki's arm. "You want to flame us for throwing you a surprise party no da?"
"Ehh...party?"
"We just greeted you 'happy birthday' no da."
"Oh..." Tasuki broke into a fang-filled grin. "Well, whaddya know! I guess it is my birthday today!" He put his tessen back. "Sorry for tryin' ta flame y'all."
"Quite alright," Hotohori replied, sitting up tall in his full emperor-like clothes. "Shall we proceed with the party?"
"How could you forget it was your birthday, Tasuki?" Miaka asked before Tasuki could respond. "It's ONLY your most important day of the year! Just think...we're going to eat cake...and rice balls...and grilled mackerel...mmm..."
"Hey Miaka, you're drooling," Tamahome sweatdropped. The Priestess immediately closed her mouth, but still dreaming of all the wonderous food that awaited her. 'I wonder if Tasuki would mind if I ate all of his cake...'
"I suggest we give him presents first," Chiriko piped up. "Otherwise Tasuki-san might flame us, once he figures out what he might have gotten earlier. Then again, he does not even know what we got him, hence the meaning of a 'surprise'..."
Tasuki and everyone sweatdropped. "Uh, sure Chiriko! Let's open them gifts!" Taskui sat down and grinned evilly, leaning back and awaiting whatever gifts were about to be bestowed upon him.
"Open mine first!" Miaka cried, thrusting a small package at him.
"All right," Tasuki said, cautiously taking off the sloppily-wrapped paper. When it was all off, it was revealed that Miaka had gotten him...a stick of gum.
"What the hell is this?!" he exclaimed, holing up the wrapped piece of chewing substance as if it was a dirty old rag.
Tamahome's eyes lit up with yen signs. "THAT GUB STUFF! I CAN SELL IT AND MAKE ONE RYO A STICK! GIMMIE!" With that, he lunged at Tasuki, trying to wrestle the lone stick of gum from him.
"NO @%&#ING WAY!" Tasuki yelled, holding up the stick while he and Tamahome fought over what you could get for five cents in the real world. Everyone but Miaka sweatdropped, and the Priestess drooled over the thought of the food she was going to be eating later.
"ENOUGH NO DA!" Chichiri cried, holding out his staff. A ki blast shot from it, and the two brawling seishi were instantly separated. "You two are impossible, no da! Tamahome-kun, it's Tasuki's birthday. Don't steal his gifts no da."
"Phooey," the money-grubbing warrior complained, slumping in his seat next to Miaka.
"Now...open mine next no da," Chichiri suggested.
"Fine with me!" Tasuki grinned, ripping open the paper on Chichiri's gift. He immediately became angered with what lie under the paper.
"HERE'S SOMETHING TO SHUT YER MOUTH—QUIT FLAMING EVERYTHING?!" Tasuki yelled, holding up a roll of duct tape. "WHAT THE HELL, CHICHIRI?"
"Just a suggestion no da," the monk sniggered.
"I would highly suggest you open my present next," Chiriko piped up. Tasuki angrily took the package from the boy genius, and became even more angry.
"ANGER MANAGEMENT FOR DUMMIES?! WHAT THE $#@%?!?!?!"
"I recommend that you read and follow the directions closely," Chiriko advised.
Tasuki was beyond incredibly pissed. It was his birthday! What the #@!% was with all the madness? He didn't even want to know what the others had gotten him...
"Hey, I'm starvin', let's eat before we get to the rest of ta presents," Tasuki said, tossing 'Anger Management for Dummies' aside.
"Now you're talking!" Miaka grinned, and started stuffing her face the second the food was served. Tasuki immediately regretted the suggestion and pushed his plate aside. He was feeling sick, anyway, since Tamamhome was actually looking at Miaka with a look of love on his face. He refrained from hurling by taping his mouth shut with the duct tape.
"Tasuki, that certainly can't be healthy," Mitsukake said. "You're not getting the proper amount of oxygen into your system."
"Mmmrph mrrph mmmmffff @#%! Mwwwfffph!"
"..."
Nuriko sighed, using his superhuman strength to rip the tape off of Tasuki's mouth.
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOWWW! DAMNIT NURKIO, REMEMBER HOW STRONG YOU ARE!"
"Yes, and remember how much of an idiot you are," the crossdresser muttered back, rolling the tape into a ball and chucking it over his shoulder, where it hit a maid in the head and knocked her out.
Everyone was too busy watching the giant cake that had suddenly rolled into the room. Hotohori was the most surprised.
"Advisors?
Why was I not informed of this giant cake's arrival?"
"Some rugged-looking guys sent it over, your Highness," one of the advisors answered. "They insisted that it be delivered to...eh...Genro. Am I correct to assume that he is the warrior called Tasuki?"
"You are correct," Hotohori answered, nodding at Tamahome to hold back a drooling Miaka. "You are dismissed." The advisors bowed and left the room.
"Rugged-looking guys, eh?" Tasuki grinning. "It must be from ta gang!" He suddenly looked confused. "But why the hell would they send over this huge piece of—"
He was interrupted when Kouji suddenly popped out of the top of the cake, covered in frosting and...not much else.
"Hey! Happy birthday boss!" he said, and started dancing around like some kind of bandit maniac.
"Oh gods!" Chiriko cried. "I think I'm too young for this birthday party!" He fainted, followed by Mitsukake. Everyone just stared and sweatdropped and either fainted or ran from the room, trying to stop themselves from puking--with the exception of Miaka, who was complaing to Kouji about wasting all the frosting, and Tasuki, who was just staring in disbelief.
"Uhh...Kouji...WHAT TA HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!" Kouji fainted, with a bottle of before unseen sake rolling from his hands.
"Ah yes..." Tasuki grinned mischievously, opening the alcohol. "You know what I like Kouji...I coulda done without the popping-out-of-the-cake thing, though."
Everyone who had fainted drooled, while Tasuki chugged down his sake. "A very happy birthday to me!"
~*~*~
Wow...did anyone actually like this? o_O It was completely random and...weird. I knew my beloved Tasu-chan needed something odd to happen on his birthday ~_^
Give Tasuki some birthday wishes and make RainbowSerenity happy with a lovely review! ^_^ And check out my other fics! Most are not so weird!
Tasuki: Yeah, but you are.
RainbowSerenity: Tasuki...-drools-
Tasuki: Ehhh...can ya quit makin' saliva puddles at my feet? I need this shoes, ya know.
RainbowSerenity: Tassssssukiiii...
Tasuki: O_O...REKKA SHIN'EN!
RainbowSerenity: -is burnt to a crisp- Ow...but still...-drools-
Tasuki: Why me...