**AUTHOR'S NOTE** The brain fart of a genius, a tao of chaos and inscrutable logic, this is the seed of a Yu Yevon. I wrote this particular one for the Harry Potter universe.

The Yu Yevon of Harry Potter

James orgasmed with the force of a cannon rifle, and this is how he knew the world was going to end. Lily flew off him, his essence radiating from her eyes and mouth and nose and ears before she flopped onto her back on the unforgiving floor in the manner of a flaccid penis. James' spirits soon began to glow and coalesce around her, pinging up in radiant droplets from the pool that followed her under her feet as she arose and walked over to young Harry's crib; and the fated young wizard glowed with powerful magics as he floated up to the level of his mother's semi-erect nipples.

"With the jizz of a thousand wizards I annoint you in love, fear, and pain, Harry Potter." Pulling her wand from her anus, Lily spoke the simple words "Sanctum Semencio!" and tapped her offspring with her rigid tool. Glowing with luminous pearlescent refractions of light a gentle tide of sperm laved the babe, who watched his parents with trusting and unblinking eyes. How soon he would learn... Now glowing like a pearl long hidden by the folds of the vagina of destiny, Harry Potter began to pulse like the mass orgy of seventy-two virgin eunuchs, his paradise beginning to reveal itself to Lily and James.

"Quickly, Lily! He must be stabilized or the explosion could erase the isles from the map!" Lily nodded, the secret magics taught to her by Luna Lovegood now coming to mind. James did his part as well, stimulating his love's most secret of orgasmic sanctums with his uvula, caressing her clitoris with his tongue. Lily vaporized her homely green sweater with a burst of magic, her luscious and tempting lacy brassiere being excised from reality in the same blast. Her quite frankly plain breasts now lay available to the throbbing young wizard, their untold promises of nurturing and glory open as an ancient necromancer's grimoire. Lily held young Harry to her, and James stood and removed the remaining clothing on his torso before coming around and positioning himself at Lily's right areola. If he were not to drink at the same time as his son, the imbalance would prove almost as fatal as a failure in stabilization. With a nod from Lily James latched on as Harry reached for his side, the wordless and wandless magic surging through them, the arcane milk of a purifying phoenix's urine burning and sating their thirst for the love of the flesh as it coursed through them.

But this was a terrible magic James was beginning to not think he could tolerate, this jizz of destiny from a mother's loving breast a food not meant for those who had yet held their fates in their hands as a penis awaiting masturbation. Lily groaned, with pain and pleasure both primal and pure, the sound eliciting James' erection to spring back into being, poking at Lily's thigh as a knight tilting at a windmill. The contact was drawing James' attention away from keeping his mouth clamped on Lily's nipple, her magically warm and sensuous flesh erotic beyond the wildest anuses of an house elf. And at last, as horny as the last winged unicorn itself, James moaned with disappointment and lust as he sank back from Lily, her right breast now swelling to a sweltering curve twice its size, heat shimmering from it as the nipple sprayed forth a geyser of pure magic and love, the milk of a forgotten anus eating away some at James' skin as he stumbled back into the crib.

"James!" Called Lily, her dulcet tones cruelly twisted into a dirge of panic and shame. She could see her husband trying to fight through the torrent from her bosom, the tainted white gush now filling the room at ankle level then suddenly the flow switched from lashing her husband with its creamy streams to filling up her babe, who also began to swell. Young Harry pulsed with the crystalline brilliance of a star's orgasm, a quasar of jizz and prophetic energies. James felt his own genitalia began to pulse in time with his son, his wife's unassuming curves of her hips and but-tocks and low hanging fold starkly silhouetted, and now being illuminated to their most intimate crevasses by his slightly hairy and misshapen bollocks. His testicles began to grow and writhe with orgasmic bony scratchings, James letting out a primal "SCHWING!" as his gonads grew in proportion like unto someone inflating and unruly Indian elephant. And now, with Lily caught between her balloon-like son and her husband's swollen love glands, there was an metaphysical burst, Lily being lit up in a glittering burst from the inside out, all of her glands being seen at once before James like a map of destiny, her ovaries twinkling like lost galaxies as they meandered back to her Fallopian tube's heart of creation. And yet, erupting forth from James' testicles was a dark being seeming as transparent as a shadow and yet solid enough to be a black void draining all splendour and mirth; it as yet took the shape of a man who flung wide his arms, the retinal afterimages left in the absence of the miraculous light being sucked like a lusty virgin into a prostitute's beguiling lips and his breath was pulled in a glistening mist from his tightly squeezed chest.

For what seemed like an eternity but was really only a few relatively short moments the struggle between darkness and light continued, until the darkness was overpowered and the shadows were etched into their proper places as the burst of light from the exploding wizard babe faded. But yet most terribly of all, the dark figure proved itself to be none other than the dark wizard known as Lord Voldemort!

Lily screamed, the infinite embrace of her son's supernova on the astral plane diagnosing her with forty-two times the normal limit of knowledge and pain and love, ineffable images seared into the fibres of her brain which she cradled like a ripe melon to be protected from bruising as she pathetically wiggled on her side on the floor.

Voldemort turned to James, a sibilant hiss escaping his nightmarishly flattened and reptilian facial features. "The woeful anus cheese of your penis has yet to be partaken of, James... Potter. Your son shall consume the fateful mouthful even as you hold back the raping penis of fate... THE PENIS WHICH IS MINE BY RIGHT!" Then Voldemort knelt down and forcefully masturbated James with his thin and bony hands, grunts of pleasure and erotic whinnies escaping his cranial orifices. But the cool grip turned unforgiving, and as James' essence languidly sprayed from their instrument Voldemort gave a cry and ripped it from James completely! He then purposefully stepped over to Lily, and began to pleasure her with James' still throbbing member. She moaned and subconsciously opened her legs up for it and wrapped them around the dark lord, and he mildly licked her painfully erect nipples as he continued to pump her. But Voldemort's true intent was soon revealed, as James' skin began to slough off a core that Voldemort began to cackle as he withdrew. "So close, it is almost mine at last...!" Then Voldemort shoved it up his anus, an effulgent phantasm hovering around him like a hologram of himself for a moment, 'til the shaft was removed from him. It was now a length of wood with appropriate grips, and Voldemort held it aloft as he cried, "At long last! THE ELDER WAND IS MINE!"

Whilst Voldemort gloated, Lily had been crawling over to her babe, and now held him in her arms. James crawled to their side, unspoken and unbreakable bonds guiding him.

"No phoenix shall rise from these ashes, meddling fools!" Voldemort raised his wand and level it at Harry Potter. "Avada Kedavra!"

The Beginning