You never know when the lights will go out. Sometimes when they you tell them to, other times when the lightning strikes or when a breaker blows. You can guesstimate and prepare, but you can't truly tell. I guess Love is like that too, you never know when it'll hit you full in the face. Maybe after you leave the person or before you even say hello. You can guesstimate and prepare, but you can't really tell.
My little fire demon had to learn that the hard way. I used to think that he hated me because he used to glare at me all the time.Then he told me, after he had been wounded saving me, that he loved me and that love made him weak. I told that him, and I remember this very clearly, "Duh, love dominated by fear is weak!" I started laughing so hard I was crying. I thought he knew that! How do you live for so long and not know?
"It's just like a person dominated by fear is weak. If you think of love like a person, and you know what kind of person is strong and what kind of person is weak, then you know what conditions make love strengthening and what makes it a problem." My laughter subsided when I realized how pitiful it was not to know this one simple fact of life.
"Onna, how is this feeling I have for you dominated by fear?"
"Well, fear of loss for one. You're afraid of falling in love because you don't want to lose your strength that you worked so hard to gain. You don't want to lose your reputation. You are also afraid of losing me to one of your enemies because you weren't strong enough."
"What makes you think you know so much about my feelings?"
"Ha ha ha! You said so!" My stomach began ache from all the laughing, but my fun at Hiei's expense was cut short when I found myself pinned between the counter and Hiei's very, very steamy glare. And I say steamy because they looked glazed with something I later learned was lust, and steamy is the first word that came to mind.
"When, Onna?"
"When you said that, and I quote, 'I love you, Onna, and it's making me weak.' Ring a bell?" I suddenly found myself a lot closer to Hiei than I ever expected to be. With out the usual glaring.
"Tell me, how can this feeling be free from such fears?" He took another step closer, another record for closeness broken, leaving a few mere inches between us. My mind took this time to suddenly remember that I was sitting on my counter in my kitchen in my shortest mini-skirt. You can imagine the many shades of red my face turned.
"W-well... Trust." I forced my frozen mind to spit something out. Everyone knows that Hiei never asks for anything with only a few inches between him and the other person, it's always a demand.
"Explain." God, I love how he always kept it simple.
"Y-you have to trust that I-I won't hold you back and that I won't d-die so quickly because of someone o-other than y-you..." Hiei leaned on the counter, his hands on either side of my legs.
"And my reputation?"
"W-well... Reputation is a load of BS to me, why do you need a rep anyways? Especially like yours, it always bring unexpected complications from challengers and other people that want to hire y--" The words fell from my mouth like vomit. My eyes darted everywhere, except for Hiei, so I failed to notice how close he was getting until he planted a hot-silk kiss right on my lips. Every thought in my mind evaporated instantly. All I could do was feel.
"You're rambling Onna... Just shut up for minute..." He murmured against my cheek.
"You're the one that asked..." I whispered, a little miffed that he stopped.
"Hn."
"And by the way, my name is Alex. You'd do better if you used it..." I hopped off the counter and pushed past Hiei, only to find myself face first on the floor. With Hiei on top of me. Again, my face took on those many shades of red.
"Onna, what makes you the authority on this subject?"
I stifled a giggle. "My own personal feelings and experiences..."He rolled me over. His gaze never leaving my eyes. The desperation I saw almost made me spill, but I wanted to hear him say my name.
"What's my name?" I smirked.
"What does that have to do with it?" His narrowed and his frown deepened.
"Ask again and use my name."
"I still don't understand... but... Alex, what makes you the authority on this subject?" I laughed at the confusion on his face.
"Mmm... Doesn't sound like your desperate enough to know. Sorry, you'll have to live with my previous answer." I flipped him off of me and walked towards my room.
"Alex..." was all I heard before I found myself mysteriously in my room and on my bed with my little fire demon trying very hard to hold himself back.
That's better. I leaned up to his ear. "I love you, Hiei..."
I'll just leave you with this: there was no love lost.