"And now assassination is just the only way
There will be blood, it might be yours
So go kill someone
Signed: Bad Horse"
Kill someone? Kill someone? Laying the inelegance of the idea aside, he still...
Kill someone?
Well, what did you think this was? he asked himself. The Evil League of Fluffy Bunnies?
He backed off from that idea fast. The Evil League of Fluffy Bunnies was a real and terrifying organization. Their carrot bombs were infamous. And anyway, they only admitted bunnies, so really--
He was losing his sense of the subject. Focus.
Kill. Murder. Assassinate. Take out.
Take out who?
Well, he'd love to take Penny out, but... not in that sense. Captain Hammer, perhaps?
The guy was his nemesis, a tool of the government, the asshole dating Pe--
He couldn't kill Captain Hammer. Penny would be devastated.
He doesn't deserve her, he reminded himself.
But she would still be devastated.
Moist had suggestions. Moist always had suggestions. Dr. Horrible did not like these suggestions. Moist wanted him to kill little children and old ladies. Dr. Horrible did not do these things.
Dr. Horrible did not murder.
Maybe he could kill Johnny Snow. He was annoying enough to merit death at Horrible's hands, right?
It'd be kind of embarrassing to kill someone I've been loudly disregarding for months.
So Johnny Snow was out. He would continue to live. And be annoying.
Oo, power rush. He was deciding who lived and who died. Made him feel almost godlike. Which was a feeling he needed more of, that was for sure. Especially with his recent humiliation on the Superhero Memorial Bridge...
He skidded off that topic. He didn't like to think about it. He was still waking up from nightmares about cars flying at his head.
Okay. Kill someone.
Who?
--
He put a poll on his blog and listed the people he'd thought of so far, which wasn't many.
He soon ended up with a comment thread a mile long telling him who they felt was missing from the list. Many were predictable - this and that world leader. He didn't bother to explain that he didn't have the resources to take out a world leader - why did they think he was intent on joining the Evil League of Evil?
A lot were people he didn't recognize – he googled them and found celebrities. He noted them in his brain. They were representations of the society he was trying to overthrow, after all. Rich peons. Perfect targets, really.
Twenty-three of the comments and seventeen emails were from Johnny Snow, threatening to sue for being listed on the poll. This gave Dr. Horrible a prime chance to do some cathartic taunting.
"What's wrong, Johnny Snowblower?" In retrospect, this was not the best title to mock with, and resulted in painful levels of real-person-fic linked without label in the comments, which scarred his mind... horribly. "I thought you wanted me to be your nemesis? Can't handle a little death threat?"
Some were disturbing. Granted, he guessed he should have expected "My mom/teacher/sister/etc.", but it still bothered him.
"This is serious here, people. I'm actually going to kill someone."
Far, far, far more disturbing were the suggestions that he off "b**** from teh landry whose gong out w/ ur nemesis". He wasn't going to kill Penny. What was the matter with them?
Well, they were an evil fanbase trying to choose whom their future horrible overlord should murder.
But still!
"Okay, the next person to suggest I murder Penny gets their IP tracked and becomes my entry pass. By which I mean dead, er, killed - I will kill you. Horribly." That would solve it.
He segued into evil laugh and turned off the camera.