Seto sat in the hospital bed, cursing the world.
Oh, now don't go believing that this was a common occurrence, because in truth it is not. Usually Seto just picks one or two people to direct his anger at, but today there were just so many people that deserved to be hated. So he had decided to just despise the world for his current predicament.
He should not have to be here. Honestly, the CEO had been at one of the many damnable business parties a few days ago when an attack had been made against the life of one of the guests. Seto Kaiba didn't even know who the shady business man was, but he did know that the gunman had terrible aim. It was obvious, for the shooter had completely missed his target and hit Kaiba instead. It had been the barest of grazing to his chest, but he had been rushed to the hospital and the party thrown into a panic.
Now, usually, Kaiba could let this go, for it was required for people to follow this protocol, or subject themselves to the risk of being sued. However, the hospital he was brought to was run by a truly incompetent doctor. The man viewed Kaiba as his golden patient, the hospital received a great amount of publicity for having him here, and the longer he was kept here, the more publicity they received.
So Seto was forced to stay here for as long as possible, not being allowed contact with the outside world, so that no one would know the truth of his 'condition.' They wouldn't even let Mokuba in. The CEO also wasn't allowed his laptop, so all of his time was being spent doing nothing when he could be getting work done.
A nurse walked in and placed his medicine (which he didn't need) on the table in front of him before going to check the machines for his vitals.
Seto glared heatedly at the small little cup, almost expecting it to spontaneously combust. He picked it up, resigned, as he heard a piece of paper fall to the ground. The nurse gave an aggravated, "Oh!"
The nurse bent over at the waist to pick it up. In doing so, she revealed that her uniform skirt was very short. Seto got a very clear shot of silky white underwear, lined with a light pink. It didn't really cover much.
Rolling his eyes, the CEO downed the liquid. Almost immediately, he felt the room begin to spin around disorienting.
"Uh, nurse?"
"Yes?"
Seto forced his body to roll over to look at her, "What did you give me?"
Joey turned around, "Chloroform."
The room gave a final twirl as Seto passed out.
Joey stood in front of the dauntingly pink store, wishing with all of his might that there was another way. But he had searched for an alternative, and there was no other option. Bracing his self as if for battle, Joey Wheeler walked into Victoria's Secret.
Feeling as utterly lost as humanly possible, the blonde walked slowly over the hardwood floor, as if trying to prevent it from creaking, and wandered to a wall filled with… things… he really had no idea what they were.
Joey turned his head to look over his shoulder. The store was ginormous. An endless pit of boy hell.
Boy hell. But not necessarily for gay boys.
Okay, Joey, just relax, channel your inner gay-ness. Become the she-male you were meant to be. Like Ryou.
The duelist cast a fresh eye over the cavern of pink patterns, hoping for its secrets to be revealed to him. It didn't work. Although, there was now a certain sales lady sending him flirty looks. She had dyed her hair black heavily and was wearing enough eye make-up to scare an 80's rocker.
Quickly turning back around, Joey began to rout through what he was pretty sure were shirts on the wall before him. The teen was uncomfortable. Please, someone, anyone, please put him out of his misery.
The clicks of heels sounded behind him, "Can I help you?"
The teen turned, relieved when he wasn't met by a raccoon, "Oh, ah… no, no, I'm good."
She gave him a smile, "Are ya sure? Because to be honest, honey, you look pretty lost."
Joey grimaced, "That obvious?"
She smiled, and Joey noticed with relief that she wore a lot less make-up than the other workers. Much more fresh-faced. Much more human, "Are you looking for a gift?"
"No, my need is a lot more… odd."
"Try me."
Joey looked at her; store workers were a lot like taxi drivers, nothing surprised them, so what the hell, "I'm breaking my boyfriend out of a hospital and need to dress as a girl to do so."
While he didn't think that his explanation would cause the lady's brain to go dead, Joey still didn't expect for her reaction to be what it was.
The blonde teen started hopping up and down, clapping her hands together like a little girl, "Yay! Yay! A gay! A transvestite!"
As suddenly as she had begun, the young woman stopped, her large bouncy curls settling by her face, "I know just how to help."
As if on a mission, she led Joey into the labyrinth of the store, "So, tell me of your plan so that I know what we are aiming for."
"Well, I'm not authorized to be there, so I'm going to go in as a nurse; the hospital's large, and no one will notice if another girl pops up. But the guy who is in charge of the place doesn' really want me in there, and people migh' be on the lookout for me. So to disguise myself, I'm goin' as a girl."
"Ah.." she nodded knowingly, "Also, if you need help, you'll have the feminine edge."
Joey stared confoundedly at her as she rooted through all of the underwear, "Yeah, and I don't really want anyone to have a chance of sayin' that I'm a guy, so the skirt will probably be tiny," he looked at the worker in a black dress, expecting rebuke, but received none.
Instead, the strawberry blonde handed him a matching bra and underwear, "This should be able to hold in your junk, as well as peak out under the skirt well. Slutty, but necessary. And the bra is padded, and will make it look like you have boobs. White, so that it doesn't show through the uniform, but a bit of pink lining to remind people that it's there."
Joey stared at the silky articles; the truth of what he was doing hitting him full force, "Oh, thanks."
"Now, how long do you have here?"
"Uh," Joey scratched his head, "I have all day to make myself into a woman, and then tomorrow we have the heist."
She nodded, thinking, "Alrighty then, you go try those on to make sure they fit, and I'll go find what I need for your hair, okay?"
Joey looked over at the changing rooms and back, "Oh, alright, thank you…" he looked at her nametag.
"Angel."
Joey looked back at her face.
"People call me Angel."
Joey smiled, and they both went on to do their assigned tasks.
When he came back out, Joey got a bit worried when he couldn't see Angel anywhere. He paled a bit at the idea of having to go looking through the store for her. He was immensely relieved when she popped back up, "It's good."
"Great!" her face shone with enthusiasm, "Now sit!"
Joey followed her hand to a spinney chair and settled down.
Angel stood behind him and began running her hands through his hair, "This is good, this is good, we can work with this. Now, do you want us to do you with short hair, or do you want us to get you extensions or a wig?"
"Well… if I had a wig or somethin', I would probably screw it up somehow."
"Not to worry, we can easily make the short hair work. Here," Angel pulled out a jar took out a good dollop, rubbing it on her hands to put it in his hair, "This is a texture cream. It gives your hair a little definition and shine, and can also be used to help shape and style your hair. Use this to make your hair a bit more 'chunky', and add some of a part."
Joey watched her exaggerated movements as she tousled his hair, "Okay."
"There," Angel said, once satisfied, "Now to make-up!"
They began to walk down through the racks of torment, "Wait! Stop! Stop, stop, stop."
"What?"
"You need to stop walking like a guy; it's a dead give-away."
"Whaddaya mean?"
Angel rolled her eyes and imitated Joey's walk, sticking her hips forward and leaning way back. Her legs seemed to swing back and forth always slightly bent while her arms swung in a wide arc. She went down an aisle and turned around to come back.
Joey scratched his head, "Dang… Do I really walk like that?"
"Well, more or less… it probably looks worse since I'm in a dress… especially since it's skin-tight."
"Okay, so how do I fix it?"
Angel immediately made him stand up straighter and roll his shoulders back and down. She spoke instructions while guiding him with a gentle hand and bits of pressure here and there, "Keep your head high," a gentle tap under his chin, "but your face slightly down. That way you can look up at people through your lashes. You will appear sweet and bashful."
She had him work on walking with his legs closer together in a way that he was forced to pick up his feet and set them down one before the other, heel toe, heel toe, heel toe…
Damn… bein' a girl is hard….
Once Joey finally was able to move in a way Angel deemed appropriate, they continued on to make-up. God, Joey's man-pride was going to need some counseling after this.
"Hey, I'm sorry for taking up so much time here."
"Are you kidding? We get paid on commission! Every minute I spend with you is more money that goes to my college fund!" she sent him a side-look. "Besides, I like you.
"Now! We are aiming for a light, airy look. Like a butterfly!" she hooked her thumbs together and spread her fingers out to imitate a butterfly flapping its wings. "It'll just be little accents, you know, to sweeten your face up a bit. So, to keep your face girly and clear, we are going to do a light pink sheen for your lips."
Angel stuck her hand into a jar and pulled out a long black tube, handing it to Joey, "Just pop off the cap, twist it up, and swipe it across your lips."
She also gave Joey some blush and light eye-shadow that had glimmer. While she did so, she also taught Joey how to soften his words and use his head voice when he spoke so that when Joey talked to anyone they wouldn't be able to tell that his voice had changed.
However, mascara was a problem. Angel couldn't stop laughing at Joey's failed attempts, however she kept encouraging him.
"You're new to make-up. Try not pulling it through, just dab at it. Like…" she thought for a good example, "You know those kisses that your boyfriend gives you? The ones that are so light and sweet and feel like the softest thing in the world?"
Joey's mind immediately remembered one day when Seto had come home from work after taking over another company. The other CEO was an old man, and he and the rest of his family wanted to live an easy life.
A grandchild had been born that day, so the newly made grandpa had just said "Take it." to Seto so easily.
The brunette had come home and didn't even open his laptop, but instead went straight to Joey and pulled him into his lap, latching onto his puppy's neck.
Joey smiled at the memory and abstractly applied the wand, a dreamy smile on his face.
Oh, boy, he was so whipped.
"Perfect!" Angel cried.
They finally went to the cash register and Joey handed them Seto's credit card. A gift from Mokuba.
Angel led the blonde out the store, seeming to know that if she didn't he would get lost, "Now, I know you probably don't want to hear this, but if you want to pull all of this off, you are going to need to get a wax."
Joey grimaced.
"All of it."
The teen raised his eyes to the heavens. It's okay, you can do this. It's for Seto. That stupid Moneybags… God, he owes me so much… waxing...
"Oh, well, can't be helped. Anyway, thanks for everything Angel. I hope it helps your college fund. What are you going for, anyway?"
Angel gave a small laugh, "Really? I have no idea. But I need to go."
Joey smiled and there was an awkward moment of just standing there. He took a step to leave, "Well, I wish you luck."
"Oh, wait, Joe, here's my number," she pulled out his receipt and a marker, scrawling down some numbers, "If you have any trouble with things, or need help for anything at all, of hell, if you are just bored, just give me a call, alright?"
Joey looked at the number, and then at Angel's brown eyes that were so light it was disorienting and piercing, "Okay, thanks!"
They both went their separate ways, and Joey wondered where the hell he would get a full body wax. And a nurse uniform for that matter. He passed a door and stopped, staring. An idea was crawling from the bottom of his mind. He was already going this far, so why not?
Joey smiled and walked in.
Joey held the end of his clipboard beneath his fake boobs and pretended to root through the papers on it when in reality he was watching the hall behind him via the reflections of a window to a patient's room. He was waiting for the perfect victim, the correct age and with wandering eyes… there!
The blonde put on a pout and cried, "Oh, darn!"
Hook.
"What's the matter, sweetheart?"
Joey sent him a whimpering look, "Oh, it's nothing, just me being silly! It's just," he added a little foot-stomp, "I am terrible at finding rooms in here! I know they told me, and I know the rooms are numbered, but I am just so lost…" the teen sent a hopeful look at the man in scrubs, "Could you please help me?"
Line.
"Well, sure, lady," the man scratched at his dark, oily, curly hair. "Who are ya lookin' for?"
The 'nurse' let relief flood 'her' face, "Thank goodness! Well, I'm supposed to go to the room of… Seto Kaiba? Can you help me?"
"Why, of course I'll help out a lost pretty-little-thing like you," the guy was giving Joey a rather obvious look. "He's in room 308, that's the floor above us."
"Thank you so much!"
"And if the miss needs anything else, just let me know, alright? Anything," he was leering.
Joey's eyes went up to look at the clock on the wall. 10:24. The blonde sent a teasing look to the deluded man and leaned in towards him, "I get off at three."
Joey turned around and flounced away, never feeling the guy's eyes come off him.
Sinker.
Seto stirred, wearily waking up. His hand slowly pulled at the sheet draped over his body, pulling it away from his face.
"Stay under there, Seto," Joey said, pulling it back over his face. "You're dead!"
Even in his drug induced state, Seto's mind began to slowly work again, softly wondering what was going on.
"Morgue," he could hear the blonde's voice above him as they turned a corner. Joey was passing a doctor, and pointed at the bed in front of him as an explanation before continuing to race down the halls.
"Out! Out of the way!" Joey cried, waving his hand in the universal "move!" motion. "It's an emergency!"
The people who had been occupying the elevator quickly tore out of it, emitting some cries while doing so.
Joey quickly pushed Seto's bed into the elevator, before rushing in after him. The 'nurse' reached over the 'dead body' and pressed several buttons, causing the doors to shut, and for them to start moving upward.
In almost no time at all, the obnoxious ding! had gone off, and Joey was moving again. Seto immediately felt sunlight pierce through the thin sheet above him and nail him in the eyes. A familiar noise reached him.
As soon as Joey stepped foot out of the elevator and onto the roof, a loud, blaring alarm tore through the air. The blonde smirked. Looks like the doc realized that is star patient is missing.
Joey tore towards the blue-eyes white-dragon jet, yelling for it to take off. The door slid open, and the brief transvestite launched Seto Kaiba's bed into the aircraft, ditching the wheels.
The blonde climbed into the co-pilot's seat, "Let's go, Mokuba!"
The raven-haired boy smiled, and brought them into the air expertly. As they rapidly rose, Joey looked back just in time to see guards burst onto the roof. They were Not. Happy.
Joey and Mokuba laughed.
Twenty minutes into the flight, Joey unbuckled himself and nodded to Mokuba, heading into the back to see a certain CEO.
The room was dark and only lit from the light the seemed in from the cracks framing the door.
Once his eyes had adjusted, Joey turned his eyes to the man he had gone to much trouble to retrieve. Seto had fallen asleep again; traces of the drugs still lingered in his veins, although they should probably be wearing off soon.
Joey walked forward and crawled over the man's body, settling down to a comfortable and familiar position. He pressed a gentle kiss to Seto's mouth, smiling at his boyfriend.
Dark blue eyes with a deep fire slid open part way and caught Joey's. It was obvious that the drug no longer held any effect on the CEO. In the darkness, Seto smiled and his lover, and tipped his head to capture Joey's lips again, and their mouths began to move in familiar motions together.
Joey felt heat begin to leak through his body as his tongue began to bend and slide against the brunette's. The blonde wrapped his arms up Seto, one hand going to stroke his face while the other immersed itself in the CEO's hair. A familiar pair of arms slid around Joey's waist. One smooth hand rested on the small of Joey's back; the other settling lower, gently rubbing in circles. Both hands were spreading even more heat into Joey.
Breathing heavier than Joey would like to admit, he pulled back slightly to look at his lover, smiling, "Are you doin' alrigh'?"
Seto smirked, "I am feeling much better, thank you, Nurse…" he looked at Joey's nametag, "Joy?"
Joey giggled, pulling a bit farther back. A blush was beginning to bloom.
Seto pushed himself up to follow him, his voice incredulous, "Are you in cosplay?"
The blonde gave another giggle, this one a lot more nervous than the last one, "Well…. I dunno, I found it funny! And… well," he started to ramble nervously, "I knew that it would defiantly be revealin' enough for this whole thing, and it was cheap, which really drew me in, especially after I completely splurged on your credit card, and-"
"Wait, slow down," Seto commanded, sitting all the way up. "What do you mean, 'splurged on my credit card'?"
Joey fixed a Look for his boyfriend, "Oh, come on, Seto, being a girl is not easy, and Victoria's Secret is not cheap, and Angel was a really good sales lady, and-"
"Puppy," Seto interrupted his ramblings again, "what were you doing at Victoria's Secret?"
"Hey, where else was I supposed ta go? Mai and Tea are always talking about how great that place is for women, and I needed to become a chick that was very capable of using the 'femme fatal' affect and the 'damsel in distress', so I jus'-"
The CEO cut him off yet again, his voice reaching a dangerous level, "You did what now?"
The blonde teen became slightly sheepish, "Okay, so I had to tease a guy or two to get in, and then another one when I needed to find your room, but it's not that big of a deal! And it was kinda fun…"
Seto's gaze was becoming icy, "You mean to tell me… that you used my money to enable you break in to a hospital by sticking your ass into the air, for strangers," he moved his hands to grab said ass quickly to claim it before removing themselves to cross in front of the CEO's chest again, "had fun… all the while being in cosplay?"
A sneaky smile slid across Joey's face as he leaned towards his lover, pushing him onto his back again. The blonde planted a kiss under Kaiba's jaw, "Aw, now don't tell me that you don't like it!"
Seto became hyper-aware of how much skin his puppy was currently showing, and he knew that Joey was wearing a certain type of underwear, as the teen had put on display earlier. As the puppy slid his legs up to the sides of Kaiba's hips, their lips met each other again, and Seto's hand went down Joey's leg, causing him to stop yet again.
"Puppy?" he murmured, "Are your legs waxed?"
"That's not important right now."
The blonde returned to kissing his boyfriend, before pulling up with a little bounce, "Well, we should almost be done with our flight; I'm gonna go help Mokuba land the plane!"
Seto stared incredulously at him, "Excuse me?"
Joey had gotten up and had opened the door, "Well, you do have a bullet wound in your chest right now, Seto. See ya!"
And with that, the blonde left.
Seto fell back to the floor, still not quite sure he believed that this had really just happened. The CEO gave a sigh. He was rubbing off onto his puppy.
The next day was filled with sunshine. A clear blue sky, birds tweeting across the trees, the gentlest of breezes…beautiful. And the group of friends intended to take advantage of it. The duelists intended to go to the park and the arcade, and had met up at the Kame Game Shop that morning.
"C'mon, Yug', let's go!"
"Hold on, Joey, I want to check the weather one last time!"
Joey, Tristan, Duke, Tea, Ryou, and Malik had gone into the family room, following Yugi's voice to find him and the Pharaoh in front of the TV watching the news. Everyone plopped down into seats naturally to do the final check for their day. Although, the weatherman saying that it would be sunny all day doesn't necessarily mean it will be. It's the only job where you can constantly be wrong and still get paid.
Once it was over, Joey had jumped up, "Okay, let's go!"
Yugi had waved him back down, "Wait, hold on!"
A lady had appeared saying that Seto Kaiba had been kidnapped from the hospital where he had been recovering from a bullet wound. It would be covered after the break.
Now, if Joey had run then, his friends would have followed and the trip could have continued as planned. But, instead, Joey had sat back down, being pulled by the hand that was clenching his stomach. It wasn't his brightest move ever.
Because now he was sitting here in an armchair, rooted to the spot, as his friends listened attentively to the newscaster as he spoke of this breaking news. Joey couldn't help but shrink a bit farther back into the chair each time he heard the man use words such as "heist", "criminal," and "take advantage of Mr. Kaiba's injured state."
"…where we received tape from the security cameras in the hospital."
Wait, what?
Joey felt blood drain from his face as the newsman was replaced on screen with the grainy black-and-white video of security cameras. You could see Seto lying in bed, but his face was hidden from the angle.
Joey watched in horror as a nurse walked in and placed a small cup on Kaiba's table. And then- oh, boy, the bend… oh. The blurry bubbles were placed over the skin revealed beneath the nurse's tiny skirt. Censoring. Thank God.
Saved from that humiliation, Joey's eyes stayed transfixed on the TV as Kaiba was shown to pass out. The nurse pulled out a folded up sheet and unfolded it, spreading it over the CEO's body as one would to the dead.
A blush spread across the blonde's face as the nurse struggled to get the wheels unlocked, yanking at the levers and reaching ungracefully to get the wheels on the other side of the bed. Each time the nurse bent over, even slightly, the censoring appeared.
Once the Nurse Joy got the wheels in order, she started pushing it over to the door quickly, preparing to run and- rammed the bed right into the door frame.
Her head jerked furiously as the blonde obviously began swearing. She pulled Kaiba's body back and shoved it forward, forcing it through the door violently, jostling its passenger heavily as it did so.
The security camera switched to one above the elevator and revealed Joey fleeing down the hall as people dashed out of the elevator. The picture froze once the nurse and kidnapped CEO got close and the newscaster came back onto the screen.
"Police have yet to identify this woman, and Seto Kaiba has refused all…"
Joey's eyes stopped receiving words as Tristan leaned close to the screen, studying the image, "Hey, this kinda looks like…"
He trailed off as the answer hit everyone in the family room at the same time, "Joey?"
Tristan turned his head to stare at his blonde best friend.
His blonde best friend bolted.
"Hello?"
"Angel?"
The salesgirl's voice perked up through the line, "Oh, hey, babe, how's it goin'? I just saw the heist, and I am impressed!"
Joey ran around the corner and continued racing through the streets of Domino, "well you might be, but things are a mess! The police might not have identified me, but my friends did!"
"Oh, honey, I'm sorry…hm… do you want to grab a coffee?"
For the first time since Joey had torn out of his friends house, Joey stopped running and stood on the corner of the street, catching his breath, "… I would love that."
"Well, at least they censored your ass."
Joey and Angel were sitting on the patio of a café at a table for two, having coffee and muffins for lunch. They had met here ten minutes after the phone call; Joey almost didn't recognize his conspirator since she had ditched the black dress for a white blouse, short-shorts, and dark pink heels.
After grabbing the baked goods, Joey had spilled the entire story behind what had happened, even the bits about him and Seto.
"-and if anyone finds out that it was me, we are so screwed!" Joey rubbed his face in distress.
"Hey," Angel leaned forward and placed a hand on his arm, "now who said that they would figure it out? They never got a clear shot of you in the video, and your files will show the dislike and rivalry between you and Seto Kaiba; you are the last person they would look at to be the 'kidnapper.'"
Joey looked a bit more relieved, but he was obviously still worried, so Angel continued, "If it makes you feel any better, I can always go into the Victoria's Secret database the next time I have to work the register and change the records into saying you paid with cash."
"Could you do that?"
"Well, I wouldn't exactly offer if I couldn't follow it up, now would I?"
"Thanks." Joey gave a lopsided grin and they ate their muffins for a second before the blonde awkwardly broke the silence, "Hey, um… I remembered what you said, about your commission, and…well…. Here," he slid an envelope across to Angel.
"What's this?"
The teen shifted uncomfortably in his seat, "Consider it the KaibaCorp donation to your college fund."
Angel gave a small laugh, her face sad, "Joey, tthats really sweet of you and all, but I can't accept this…"
Joey snorted, "You aided in the rescue of its CEO, you could probably sue us if you didn't get any money. It's a gift, and my mother taught me that you shouldn't return gifts to the giver," the blonde looked at his watch, "Crap, I gotta go, see ya Angel!"
He got up and started to walk away, "And who knows, we may need your services again in the future! We'll keep in touch."
Angel leaned back in her seat, gently fiddling with the envelope, "Don't be a stranger!"
Yugi sighed, his head cradled in his palm. It had been a long, strange day. And it had only gotten worse.
"Yami, this is ridiculous," he shot his other half a look, "I feel like an idiot."
The former pharaoh let his gaze go down Yugi's body and back up, not even bothering to try to hide it, "Now, Aibou…"
Yugi placed a glare at Yami as the King of Games took a seat on the bed next to him. He didn't really understand how he ended up like this, just like how he didn't understand why…
Why? Why was Yami doing this to him? What had he done to deserve being dressed up?
As a freaking playboy bunny.
Now, Yugi could put two and two together. He knew that yami had probably wanted to do something kinky like this to Yugi for quite some time, and the discovery about Joey had finally given him the chance to put his plan into action. Sure, he might be surprised by the revelation about Joey, but the King of Games wasn't about to miss a perfect opportunity.
And so he had begged Yugi to do something for him. Begged! And Yugi was such a shmuck he had agreed without even finding out what.
Yami seemed to be enjoying himself and grinned, "I like it."
Yugi rolled his eyes, "Well of course you do."
"Now, aibou," Yami's hands snuck around Yugi's waist and he leaned in to nuzzle against his light's neck, "I fail to see why you have a problem with it."
"Yamiiii…" Yugi knew that he was whining, but could care all that much right now.
"Yugi… we had a deal…"
"But, Yami, Easter was over a month ago!"
"Oh, Aibou... but i like it..."
Yugi gave an internal wince. He could try and make a break for it to either the closet or the bathroom to change, but Yami would catch him. He always caught him. He always won.
The short teen gave a small sigh; he might as well try to escape with some of his dignity. The young duelist turned back to the once-pharaoh and wrapped his arms over the taller man's shoulders.
And, hey, this could turn out to be fun.