It's a pretty little doll, isn't it? Life… a pretty doll that can either be caressed or destroyed…

"How many times have we been blasted off?" I asked in my usual empty-sounding voice. Lavender locks flew by my eyes as I looked to Jessie.

"In America or in Japan?" Jessie retorted with the crackling snap that was her own voice, the perfect blend of masculine authority and feminine vanity.

"Japan."

Jessie closed her eyes in concentration as the emerald grass beneath us flittered in the soft wind.

"I'd say… to the day… 368 times," Jessie finally said.

Three hundred sixty-eight… that's how many times that we'd been completely destroyed. I began to sulk, something that many people mistake for typical whining on my part.

"You better not be whining, James, or I'll sock you!"

See what I mean?

Meowth frowned from its perch atop our latest rental van, preferring not to interrupt Jessie's wrath. I looked up and saw that Jessie was rather irritated with me. So what else is new?

"We'd better get some sleep, nyaa," Meowth frowned as it hopped off of the rental van and onto the dewy ground. "If we want to catch those twerps at Mossdeep City, we should sleep until sun-up, nyaa."

"Right, Meowth," Jessie agreed. Silently, I agreed first, even though I wasn't so keen on ambushing the twerps at Mossdeep City. Partly because Mossdeep City was an island, and every time I've ever been on an island something terrible has happened… like Shamouti Island…

But the second reason had nothing to do with islands, or how I wish I could treat my teammates the same way they treated me (a stupid freak), or even the fact that waking up at sun-up wasn't something I wanted to do. It was something different…

"G'night, James. G'night, Meowth," Jessie sighed as she snuggled into a green sleeping bag. I still sat in the grass, watching Meowth curl into a blanket near Jessie.

The Pokemon opened one eye and warned, "You better get some sleep, James, or Jessie will kill you."

"Point taken," I said aloud, and unfurled my own blue sleeping bag on the ground, a few feet away from Jessie. I pulled myself inside of it and zipped the bag up. But I wasn't going to sleep.

Ash must be completely stupid, I reasoned. He was rather reckless, and prone to injury, and always getting targeted by passing trainers. Jessie would say he's stupid in that way. Heck, his old… um… well…

Grr… I hate that stupid bitch Misty! Of course, I don't have any right to call her that, because she isn't stupid and is very kind when she wants to be. I only say that because…

…Ash…

Admitting it to myself hurts. It hurts because I know how Jessie feels about me, even if she doesn't think I know she loves me, and knowing I don't return an ounce of that feeling makes me feel guilty.

It doesn't really put strain on our relationship, though, because ours is practically nonexistent.

Of course it was Ash who has that Pikachu that The Boss wants so badly. I thought that, after that day I found myself completely entranced by the strange trainer boy from Pallet Town, I would never have to deal with it again.

Fate must hate me vehemently, that's the only explanation for it.

I tried to sleep, but my own sick thoughts were keeping me up. As much as I hated myself for it – geez, he's eleven and I'm sixteen, isn't that illegal? – I wanted to be his and his only.

But that was Misty's purpose. Misty was perfect for Ash in every single way – his rashness was offset by her temper, his sorrow matched by her benevolence. They must have been together… and then they were separated, and in comes May. No opinion on her, except…

GOD, WHY CAN'T WE BEAT AN INEXPERIENCED NOBODY TRAINER, EVEN THOUGH WE'VE BEEN POKEMON TRAINERS FOR ABOUT THREE YEARS?

Had to get that off of my chest.

May and Ash aren't together, I'm positive. Ash is more of a teacher. If May is better than me… don't I need training? Why doesn't Ash train me?

I looked to Meowth and Jessie, sleeping peacefully. I turned my head to the stars, glittering like tiny light bulbs floating on a stream of dark liquid filling the skies.

Only five hours left to sleep before the plan would have to be set into motion.

Making this now twenty-three hours that I haven't slept.

(-)

Trees surrounded Mossdeep City, making those trees the perfect place to hide out… or ambush someone.

"James!"

Jessie brought me back down to reality. "Yes?"

"You look half-dead!" Jessie screeched. "Did you get any sleep last night?"

"Not really," I responded honestly. If I were awake, I'd ponder my life. If I was asleep, I wasn't in control of my mind, and it would waver to the nastier side of love. I preferred no sleep to disturbed sleep.

Meowth sighed. "Just set up the trap, you two, nyaa." Then a familiar glint got caught in the Pokemon's eye. That was never a good sign.

"You fight like a married couple, nyaa," Meowth observed.

Jessie got mad and dropkicked Meowth to what must have been the other side of the island, but I could see that her face was tinged red. I sighed, pushing my hair so that it was somewhat out of my face.

I heard faint footsteps and happy voices. I could immediately pick one out from the low laughter coming from far away.

"They're coming, Jess," I warned my partner. I forced a sneer upon my face, and then it twisted into a crazy smile that I did nothing to suppress. Jessie had seen it before, and thought nothing of it, I assume.

Both of us hid up in a tree, waiting for Brock, May, her little brother Max (God, he screamed dweeb), Pikachu, and… Ash.

I tried to quell the beating of my heart so that Jessie couldn't hear. Jessie never did, but there was nothing wrong with being cautious… was there?

In a split second, the Pokemon trainers that we so mercilessly followed fell into a hole we had dug. Both Jessie and I threw down a cage attached to a fishing wire, locking Pikachu inside.

"What's going on?" May cried.

I love that. She's so clueless!

"The only thing you should do is prepare for trouble!" Jessie began, deciding to be just a bit different.

My turn now. "Don't forget to make it double!"

"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"

Is that a big shout out to Japan there? Just thought of that… anyway, the motto continued, par usual…

"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"

"Jessie!"

Jessie jumped out of the tree with a flourish and a paper fan I didn't know she had. She snickered at the helpless trainers.

"James!"

I jumped out of the tree now, just as dramatic as my partner.

"Team Rocket – blast off at the speed of light!"

"Surrender now, or prepare to fight!"
Meowth showed up to finish our motto. "That's right, nyaa!"

Ash stared up at us from the hole. His face showed how irritated he was at us. I only wish that I never had to see that face again.

At this point, Jessie had Ash's Pikachu in her grasp, holding the cage tightly.

Pikachu tried to break through the bars using a Thunder Shock attack, but nothing happened.

"You can't get out, nyaa," Meowth sneered. "Didn't you know that rubber repels electricity?"

"It should," I countered. "We've only said it about ten million times."

"Taillow!" Ash cried. The Taillow pulled Ash and his companions out of the hole by flying out…

…And so it goes. Pikachu got out, we got shocked, we got sent blasting off for the 369th time.

Something fell out of my pocket as I blasted off, but I thought nothing of it. After all, Ash doesn't care, and he never will care.

He only sees Misty.

(-)

Team Rocket was blasted off again. As it has always been for Ash and Brock, and Ash's girlfriend Misty.

I find them rather intimidating myself, but I'm just a beginner, after all. But when Ash, Brock, and Max turned to walk into Mossdeep City, I found a slip of paper upon the ground.

Why does this hurt so much? I'm being pulled in opposite directions: towards my duty as a member of Team Rocket, but also to my true love, Ash…

Scribbling this down in the middle of the night won't fix anything, I know. But it's the only thing that'll get me to sleep without having dreams that shouldn't cloud anyone's mind, dreams I wouldn't wish upon anyone… even that sordid bitch Misty.

The night grows ever colder without him. We'll never be together, of course. Fate must really enjoy conspiring against me.

I bit my lip and put the paper into my bag.

"May!" Brock called. "Are you coming?"

"Yes!" I called, running after my friends.

One question remained in my mind. The writing was too graceful to belong to Max, and Brock was into girls. It wasn't Ash's, or mine, that much was certain. That meant it was either Jessie or James'.

In my mind, I could just see James writing that down in the middle of the night, unable to sleep because of what plagued him, worrying and wondering about what to do with his wayward heart.

"Why weren't you coming?" Max asked me.

"Oh, I just thought I dropped something," I lied.

Somewhere out there, Team Rocket was planning their next attack, but one of them was doing it grudgingly… I knew it.

(fin)

A/N: This is a strange little story, I know. I usually don't pair James with Ash, for I have many unfinished ideas for a Misty/Brock or an Ash/Richie. James, being my favorite character in Pokemon, has a huge role in this story, but a character I've never really known much about – May – takes a part in this. I hope I didn't have her act out of character… tell me if I did… please review this, my second Pokemon fiction.

Shameless Plug: If you know all the Japanese names of the characters, please read my fiction 'Kojirou Breaks a Poke Ball'.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Pokemon. But Jessie keeps yelling at me for buying James bottle caps… so I guess I own half of those…