Title: Where Is Home?
Summary: A nameless elf saves the lives of Prince Legolas and Captain Tauriel from a spider attack that would have surely overwhelmed them and soon collapses after. Grateful for their lives, they bring him back Mirkwood to heal. From there, things change within Mirkwood, slowly but surely. In Prince Legolas' opinion, the changes are more than welcome.
Pairing(s): Bilbo/Thorin & Tauriel/Kíli
Features: Magic-Wielding Harry
Warning(s): Brief mentions of child abuse & some graphic descriptions of torture and injuries
Author's Note: Harry will be known as an elf, Hathier (hath-thee-ir).
Disclaimer: All rights belong to their respective owners of which I am not one of them.
Prologue
"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities." ― Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry focuses on the plate of food in front of him, lost in his thoughts as people, known and unknown, chat around him in various levels of loudness. Most of what he hears is about him or at him, but he ignores it all anyway. Just a blur of voices too loud or too fast, colors that are too bright, and whatnot.
I want to leave, Harry thinks. I don't want to be around anyone.
The "Battle of Hogwarts" as it is dubbed ended a mere few hours ago. And the losses were too much. Ron, burnt to death by a random Death Eater. Hermione, poisoned by the blade Bellatrix LeStrange used to torment her. A slow acting poison that had her dropping to ground, dead, only an hour into the battle. Ginny, missing an arm. According to Mrs. Weasley, Greyback was the cause of this. And like Bellatrix, Greyback suffered at the hands of a nearly hysterical Molly Weasley.
Percy, dead. He died by diving in front of his younger brother, Fred, as the killing curse was aimed at the unsuspecting older twin. Between the twins, over twenty Death Eaters or Voldemort supporters fell, and this is before they found out about Ron.
Then there is Lavender Brown (killed by Greyback), Colin Creevey (the youngest victim; how he died is unknown and Dennis refuses to let anyone come near his brother's body), turncoat Slytherins (like Zabini and Greengrass, both dying to protect the younger Miss Greengrass), and then there are the bodies of the aurors (Shacklebolt and Tonks being some of the ones he recognized).
And Merlin, he has lost Remus.
Too many people.
Too many friends.
Too many family members.
It should have just been me, Harry thinks. Only me. It would have been okay.
His dark thoughts are interrupted when a gentle hand grips his shoulder and gives him a little shake. "Harry?"
Blinking once, twice, and Harry looks away from the cold food on his plate to see Luna looking at him with concerned eyes before glancing over her shoulder to see Neville a few feet behind her. Returning his gaze to Luna, Harry takes in her busted lip, the bruising around her neck via Yaxley's hands, and the scrapes along her face and exposed arms. His eyes return to the bruising around her neck. He had seen Yaxley attempt to strangle her, being unable to get to her, and she barely managed a weak stupify to get him off of her. He was dealt with minutes later by Neville, Gryffindor's sword in his hand. A death he so justly deserved.
"Harry?" Luna asks again.
"Do you want to leave?" This time, however, it's Neville who asks.
When did he get so close?
Harry shrugs. "The house elf's went through all the trouble of making everyone something to eat."
Neville snorts. "You haven't touched your food since it was brought to you."
Harry looks down at his plate again. "I thought, maybe, I could...you know, try to eat s-something or whatever."
"Don't force yourself, Harry," Luna says gently. "If you're not hungry, then you're not hungry. The house elves will understand."
Harry shakes his head. "I need," he hiccups, trying to hold back a sob, "I need too, f-for Ron and Hermione and Remus a-and - " A low sob escapes.
He shoves the plate away and buries his face into his somewhat dirty hands. With a loud sob, Harry crumbles over, resting his elbows on the table. Two sets of arms wrap around him, holding him as he cries over the loss of his family and friends, for the innocent lives lost in the battle, for the destruction done to Hogwarts, for the seventeen years of misery he was forced to endure.
"I'm so sorry," Harry chokes out. "I'm so, so sorry! Please forgive me. Forgive me."
"No one blames you, Harry," Luna whispers soothingly into his ear.
"And if they do, I'll cut them with this sword," Neville manages to get out but his eyes are full of tears too.
Shaking his head, Harry replies, "I blame myself. I should have been quicker, should have realized sooner. Neither of you - you didn't - you both - I saw Ron die. He was b-burned alive. And Hermione, she just - just - she just dropped." And then Harry freezes before slumping into the arms around him. "I don't deserve to be alive," he whispers.
Almost immediately his face is gripped between two pale hands and grey-blue eyes stare deep into his own. "Don't," Luna starts, "you dare say that, Harry James Potter. Ever."
"Luna, plea - " He tries to speak, but she only shakes her head.
"You're one of my most precious people, Harry, and I want you alive."
Harry pulls away and uses a spare napkin on the table to wipe away the trails of tears. Around him, people have moved away. The voices aren't so loud nor a blur of sound. Everything feels calmer. That was his first chance to cry.
"I won't be well for a very long time, Luna."
"I know," she shares a look with Neville and amends herself. "We know."
Neville claps Harry on the shoulder. "You need to rest, Harry. You've done enough."
"You need to be looked over too," Luna mumbles, more so to herself than Harry.
Harry sighs. He is aching all over, but the idea of getting up doesn't sound so pleasant.
"Don't worry," Luna says. "Neville will take you to somewhere to rest now."
Harry allows himself to be dragged up from his seat, wobbling just a bit, before letting Neville place his arm over his shoulder. Harry looks back at Luna while Neville guides him around groups of people and she offers him a kind smile when their eyes meet. Wherever Neville is taking him, Harry doesn't mind anymore. Everything is passing by in a blur of crumbled stone and - maybe - bodies and groups of people and, Merlin, he really needs to sleep.
Harry doesn't recall being settled into bed.
He doesn't remember falling asleep.
Where one adventure ends,
Another begins and this is true,
Be it another chapter in your life,
Or the greatest adventure - death. [1]
The song wakes him, or so he thinks.
Harry is standing in a place that reminds him of Kings Cross, where he met Dumbledore once before, where he was given the option of moving on or going back. Only this time, he's in a white forest with a hazy mist around him. The only contrasts are the slight shadows of the trees. There is no sunlight. There is a river with what he assumes to be water, but no sounds associated with it. Absolutely no sound associated with this forest.
Only the song.
"Am I dead?" Harry wonders out loud.
No, you are not. You merely sleep, child.
Turning this way and that, Harry sees no one speaking.
"I'm hearing things," he mumbles to himself.
Perhaps, but it may be to your benefit.
Instead of reacting rashly, Harry just sits on the ground and speaks to the trees around him.
"Who are you?" he calls out to the forest. "And where am I?"
I am called Varda among my kin, but you will know me as Elbereth Gilthoniel. You are within the projection of my heart.
Harry looks around. "Projection of your heart? Why is everything white?"
I am the sun and the moon and the stars. I create the light. My heart is pure and therefore projects light.
"Why am I here?"
I bless all who deserve the light. It brings them comfort when facing darkness. Do you feel at peace, child?
He does feel peace, but not peace he deserves. Harry shakes his head. "I don't deserve this light." He recalls his memories, his decisions, and how he was easily influenced or manipulated into doing someone's bidding.
You are wrong, child. You have a pure soul though your heart is not whole.
"My heart isn't whole?"
You carry much pain and sorrow in your heart. The loss of your comrades and family leave you with a wound you don't believe will ever heal.
Harry looks down at his hands, clean within this dream world, but doesn't reply.
You ache for peace, child.
Harry doesn't say anything because it's the truth.
It will not come easy. Your hardships will only increase if you remain in this world.
"Why have you brought me here then?" Harry finally asks. "And how will my 'hardships' increase? I beat Voldemort."
I have brought you here to give you a choice. Remain in your world or go to Endor. Should you choose to remain in your world, you will experience treachery by those you thought to be companions. You will not know peace until death by old age.
"And what would await me in Endor?"
You will have relative peace for many a century. However, darkness lies within Endor that you will face should you choose to leave your world. There will be war - more than one - and you will not be able to avoid it. Be it of your own free will or not, you will become involved.
"So, I get to choose between betrayal and being bothered until I die or I go to this new place where I'll be okay for many centuries but eventually get involved in more than one war. Both options really suck!" Harry says, point blank. "Also, explain to me how I'd be able to live for many centuries?!"
I will grant you eternal life, child. You will not be alone. Should you choose Endor, you will make many a friend who will have extended lives and some who live an eternal life. When the final war is fought, you will be given the choice to sail to a land where you will live forever in harmony and peace.
In the long run, the second option sounded super nice, but he had to ask the questions bubbling inside.
"Can you guarantee that I'll live through these wars? An immortal life doesn't mean an invincible life. What about my friends?"
I cannot. I can, however, guarantee that I will answer your call when you need me. It is a risk you must consider. As for your friends...true friends will continue to love you whichever path you take.
Harry glances at a tree, his head tilted in concentration. "Do I have to make a decision now?"
No, child. But your time for choosing is short. You must decide by your next sleep when I call you back here.
Harry nods slowly and says in a soft voice: "Thank you."
I require no thanks, child. Now rest.
And the white forest fades away.
[1] I wrote the lyrics.
If you have the time, please review.
~i-just-really-love-sakura
Edited (09/25/2018): I went back and corrected the mistakes I saw. I hope this reads better.
P.S. "Endor" is the Quenya word for "Middle Earth." I am not confusing anything with Star Wars. This choice of word has already been addressed in the story.