HELLOOO PEOPLE!

This is like, my mostest favoritest fanfic of mine EVAR.

Disclaimer: Me no own FFXIII. Me fan. Me write fanfic. Me no own FFXIII disc. Belong to bro. Me no own.

I totally exaggerated Fang's accent AND I LOVE IT.

I love Fang. XD

CHAPTER 1 - Ah Lilil Prowlog

Somewhere deep inside the Yachas Massif, a Dire Flan dissolved silently as a Firaga hit it full in the face.

"That's how it's done," Lightning Farron muttered, stashing her gunblade back into its holster.

"Good job, Hope," she said, glancing only slightly at the boy who was currently on his knees, panting.

A light sparkled in Hope Estheim's ginormous green eyes at the comment. "R-really, Light?"

He didn't get a reply, however, because Lightning had already set off.

"W-wait..." he panted, trying to get up.

The next second he was roughly pulled to his feet by a hand that had grabbed the back of his scarf, effectively choking him.

"Oi... yah rilly need tah booze yeh aychpey if yah gunna savoyv Gran Pulse, 'Ope."

Hope rubbed his neck, then looked up into Oerba Yun Fang's face.

"Um..." he mumbled, "what?"

Hope yelped, seeing the look on Fang's face.

"Ah sed yah need tah booze yeh aychpey!"

"I need to booze my aged pee?" Hope asked in a small voice.

"OH GOHD FOCKIN' DAMNIT!"

"I'm sorry!"

"Ah. Sed. Yah. Need. Tah. Booze. Yeh. Aych. Pey."

"Ah Cid you need taboos you aged pea?"

"AH SWE TAH THA FOCKIN' CREATAH AH WILL FOCKIN' KILL YAH, 'OPE ESTAYM."

Hope understood that, of course.

"I'm sorry! I really can't understand... You shouldn't say bad words, though..."

"Nevah moynd that! Nah, ah reyaloyz yeh tryin' tah impress Loynin', emma royt?"

"I... of course I'm not!" Hope yelled, his face going red.

"Laya," Fang snorted. "Ah saw it since tha day we met, yah pubescent lilil faggeht."

"I'm not a faggot!"

"Di-nah-yawl," Fang hummed.

"I'm not a faggot, nor am I trying to impress Lightning!"

"Oh rilly? Ah saw a lilil spakle in yeh oys jus as yeh sed heh name."

"Well― alright, fine, I am trying to impress Lightning," Hope said, defeated.

"Looks loyk yah need mah 'elp."

"Help? How are you gonna help me?"

"Well, 'Ope, we..." Fang said, a mischievous smirk forming on her face, "ah gunna get groyndin'".

Hope cringed. "Will it... hurt?"

"Noh rilly, depens."

"I don't feel very comfortable if it has something to do with my, erm, groin."

"Ah didin say anthin 'bout yah groyn!"

"What did you say then?"

"Groyndin'!"

"What― oh, grinding! For Crystogen Points! Am I right?"

"Yes, yowah, 'Ope. Congratulayshuns."

"Okay, and then?" Hope said, getting excited.

"Oh coss, ah need tah train you mahself."

"We're gonna duel?"

"Maybey."

"Okay!"

"Well, let's get stathed!" Fang said, walking off.

Hope followed shortly, then Fang glanced at him.

"Mah Gohd yeh oys ah huge."

YAY, FIRST CHAPTER DONE!

I actually have six chapters as of right now, and this is one of the shorter ones.

OH GOHD FOCKIN' DAMNIT, THAH TOYPIN AH 'AVE TAH DO!

Oh, and by the way, there are no typographical errors in this story.

It's all Fang. XD

If there are some lines that you can't understand or some terms and such you have queries about, put it in a review.

I'm going to try baiting my fanfic.

I WILL POST THE SECOND CHAPTER ONLY AFTER THE FIRST THREE REVIEWS.

(Gosh I hope this works)

REVIEW WHORE HERE. XD