Written for: Hogwarts - Arithmancy Task 1 - Task: Write about how "third time's the charm."
Wonderland
Dedicated to Amber:
Prompts: Wonderland!AU, Swirl, Glitter, Looking for shapes in clouds.
Thanks to Shannon and Lizzy for betaing, and to Sam for helping me when I was stuck on what to do. :)
Sirius sat in silence in the carriage, hiding his painted nails from his parents' disapproving looks. He knew something was going on: something was happening and he hated not knowing or being a part of this big secret. The secret that had his mother wearing her best hat.
He just knew it was something that he wasn't going to like. Especially with the pitying glances Regulus was shooting him when his parents weren't paying attention.
Sirius sighed and slouched down in his seat, uncomfortable as the carriage headed up the bumpy road. A pointed cough had him straightening up quickly, and he turned his focus quickly from his mother's glare to the window, relieved to spot the Black family estate - his second home.
He liked the estate better than their London home, but his mother liked lording it over all of the other women around London Town and his father had a highly paying job. They were the most sought after family… but here—here at the estate, Sirius had a little bit more freedom. He was able to escape his mother's watchful eye and would explore the grounds more thoroughly.
He even dreamt of the grounds and another world beyond them. His father thought the dreams were nightmares, but as he grew up, his dreams seemed to focus more and more on one man from his childhood. A friendly stranger who he had sat to tea with before continuing his adventure. A man with the strangest amber eyes. A colour he had searched for when meeting new friends of his parents, but failed to see outside of his dreams.
His mother scolded him when he told his parents about the dream. She thought his head was too far in the clouds and his time outside became restricted. He was made to study harder, and a second tutor taken on to ensure that Sirius had the best possible learning.
There wasn't time to dream about the magical place… though for the last couple of years, the dreams had returned full force.
The last time he had dreamt was the previous night. The man had appeared again, telling him different words than the other dreams.
"It's time to come back."
The dream left him with a strange sense of calm that he hadn't felt in a long time. Something about the man soothed him and took away the worry and hurt that his parents always left him with.
He didn't get to see his brother much due to the tiresome schedules they both had, only seeing him during meals… and the dreams made him feel less alone. Where Regulus embraced the world that his parents were raising him in, Sirius longed to run from it; he longed to be free.
As they approached the doors of the house, Sirius noticed a lot more people were arriving. He looked around the carriage once more, taking in the pleased look on his mother's lips, the slight frown on his father's, and that Regulus was biting on his lip. Regulus never bit his lip.
A garden party, perhaps? But the people were rather dressed up for a garden party. Elaborate headwear and dresses, fancy suits… what was going on?
He fidgeted in his seat, eager to get out of the carriage, even if he had a bad feeling about what was going to happen at this event. Though he was sure he could avoid it as he knew many hiding places in the grounds. He'd need to hide because all he could see was his parents stuffy friends. He pulled at the collar of his shirt. The carriage felt too hot and he felt trapped.
"Don't worry, Sirius," Walburga said, comfortingly, reaching out and patting his hand and giving him a rare smile. "You'll get wrinkles if you continue to frown. You are going to make us proud today."
Sirius gaped at his mother. Walburga Black was never kind or caring towards him.
Yes, something was terribly, terribly wrong.
Sirius turned his attention to the sky. Hopefully the clouds meant that it would rain and the party would be over quickly. Though the sky was blue and calm. Sirius found himself getting lost in the shapes of the clouds.
...oOo...
"Sirius," Alecto murmured, smiling at him, though her smile was cold, empty. "It is good to see you again."
"You too, Alecto," Sirius replied, not even bothering to smile. He was already trying to plan his escape from the party and from Alecto, one of the most cold and detestable woman he had ever met. Well, second only to his mother of course.
"Would you care to dance?"
Sirius resisted the urge to pull away as Alecto manhandled him to the dance-floor. He couldn't even try and be charming, scared she would get the wrong idea. She was the type to latch on to poor unfortunate men and suck the life out of them...
He wasn't really into women doing any kind of sucking. Now… if it were someone as handsome as Lucius... that would be a whole other story. He smirked at the thought, but Alecto nudged him sharply to start dancing.
Sirius looked at anything but his dance partner. This dancing was dull, boring. Like the rest of his life. He wanted some excitement and some freedom. This couldn't be his life, could it? He couldn't spend the rest of it doing these mundane garden parties and these unappealing dances with the worst women he had ever met in his life.
His eyes moved over the crowd, most of which were looking at him and Alecto dance, which worried Sirius, until his gaze fell on two men further away. They seemed to be having their own conversation and there was a lot of gesturing.
A man in a red waistcoat was pointing towards him and then towards an oversized pocketwatch, and the other man in the large hat was sipping tea and seemed unconcerned. It was almost enough to make him stop dancing, but Alecto had a tight hold on him.
Sirius glanced around, searching for his mother. If she saw the strangers, she would have descended on them quickly and removed them from the event, but he didn't want her to see them. When he found her, she was proudly watching, looking quite pleased with herself.
Sirius felt even more scared.
He glanced back to where the two men had been, but they were gone.
...oOo...
Sirius managed to escape after the dance, and quickly headed towards where he had seen the men standing last. Something was telling him that he needed to talk to these men. He needed to see who they were and why they were there. He had a feeling that they weren't part of the garden-party, but a part of something else entirely.
Sirius needed to know.
His fingers toyed with the cuff of his shirt as he glanced around, searching. A flash of red towards the maze caught his eye and Sirius rushed towards the hedge, not even thinking about his actions anymore. He had one single goal.
To find the men.
Sirius moved through the maze, flashes of that waistcoat at the end of each turning told him which way to turn and he stopped walking and began to run. The man seemed to evade him, speeding up too. He knew that eventually he would catch him. He turned around another corner and found himself at another entrance of the maze, where his mother stood, her hands on her hips and a displeased expression on her face. She didn't venture into the maze, simply standing under the arch of the hedge, silently watching him.
"Mother," Sirius began.
"Sirius," she began, clearly holding back the words she would have uttered were they alone. "This is not how I raised you to behave, running around like some common… child. I suggest you take a moment to straighten yourself out and then come back to the party. You are acting undignified, and I warn you, do not bring shame on our family today."
She didn't move and Sirius knew there was no chance of escape and no chance of following the red waistcoated man. He ran his hand over his clothes, fixed the ribbon that was holding his long hair back, and followed his mother.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could see red.
His mother sent him to mingle with the visitors and Sirius grudgingly headed towards where some tables had been set up in the grounds. He looked between them, each set of guests looking more dull than the last, until his eyes reached the last table, sitting a short way from the others.
The hat. It was the man who was with the red-waistcoated man, and he looked… familiar somehow. As Sirius wracked his brain, trying to think of how he knew that man, he found himself walking over to the table, taking a seat to the man's right. He studied the man. His eyes were closed and he was clutching a teacup in his hands. Dark blonde hair was hidden under the large hat and Sirius longed to reach out and touch the hat. There was something about it. His fingers moved of their own accord, and...
Lips curved up into a smile. "You came to find me!"
Sirius quickly pulled his hand back. The man's eyes were still closed, so thankfully he didn't see what Sirius had tried to do.
"I… I saw you earlier when I was dancing," Sirius replied. "I'm Sirius Black. I don't believe I've seen you at one of these parties before."
"Because I've never been to one. Dreadfully boring, aren't they? One must be out of their mind to attend… or perhaps not even then…"
Sirius stared at the man uncertainly. "Did you come here with one of the guests?"
"I came here with James. He's not happy with you, you know. You're late. Naughty." On the last word, the man's eyes opened and Sirius found himself staring into the amber eyes that he knew only from his dreams. His mouth dropped open.
"Your eyes…" he murmured. "I know your eyes, but how?"
The man merely smiled at him.
"Who are you, Sir?"
"Sir? That's a new one. I usually get called Hatter." The man sipped at his cup of tea, before frowning. "Not enough sugar." He reached into his pockets and pulled out a small container of sugar, pouring some of it into his drink. A spoon was retrieved from another pocket and he stirred it. "I believe you know who I am and before you ask, you know why I'm here."
"I do?" Sirius asked.
"See! I knew it!" the man exclaimed happily. "Now, if you'll just hurry along, James is waiting to show you the way."
"I'm afraid you have things mistaken," Sirius replied, leaning back in his chair, his eyes never leaving the man's eyes. "I feel like we've met before, but I'm not sure where. At night…" he trailed off, not wanting to admit to having dreams that may have featured this man. His mother would scold him for saying such things.
"How about I tell you that everything you want, you almost had once before. But you were so young at that time. You… you weren't supposed to be there so we brought you back. The clock shows that now is the time for you."
"Everything I want?" Sirius asked. This man knew nothing of what he truly wanted.
"Freedom, a life that's your own… adventure. A home which isn't laden with the responsibilities of following in your father's footsteps."
Okay, the man did know what Sirius wanted.
"Or perhaps you want this life. You want to grow up and become a cold, uncaring man like your father. You want to get married to the woman you danced with and spend no time with your children. It's a never ending cycle. Those were your fears last time… well, the marriage wasn't mentioned, I realised that one earlier."
"I… I can't leave here."
"Are you sure?" the man asked, setting down his cup and leaning forward. Sirius stared at him, taking in just how handsome this man was. Lucius Malfoy had nothing on this 'Hatter', though he suspected the name was actually a profession. He longed to know the man's real name. The Hatter allowed Sirius to look for a long moment, his own eyes, searching Sirius' face, trying to get a read on his emotions. Finally he turned his head. "Well, James is here and I promise you that he'll be waiting until the last moment. You only need to follow." He stood to leave, but Sirius jumped up too, not ready to let this man leave now that he had finally met him.
"Wait!" Sirius exclaimed. "Tell me - follow to where? When did we meet? What is your real name?"
"You won't remember until you truly let yourself believe," the man replied. "It takes faith to follow him to the unknown, Sirius. To follow him to somewhere that may or may not exist in the eyes of the people here. It would be following him to freedom and adventure. To a life where you can make your own choices."
"What kind of freedom? A freedom where I won't have to marry a woman?" Sirius asked. He shook his head. "A woman like Alecto?"
The Hatter's eyes widened slightly at the words and the smile widened. "Sirius, a world where you would never have to marry a woman. There are so many rules up here, but there is a place where you can love whoever you want without worry about what would happen. That's the world I come from and that's the world I'll be returning to."
"A man?" Sirius whispered, glancing around to make sure no-one was listening. "Is your world…"
Hatter nodded his head. "Though I didn't come here to tell you of what love you could find there, I only came to bring you down. I've spent too long up here already and the queen doesn't like the walls of my world lowered for too long, anyone could stumble in."
"Has anyone stumbled in before?"
"You did," Hatter replied with a grin. "When Alice was supposed to come, you stumbled into our world first. We had to bring you back, but we could feel you calling to us, needing to return. James holds your clock showing its time. I promise I'll keep the wall down until the last moment. It's your choice what you do, Sirius."
"That kind of world doesn't exist," Sirius muttered, turning his gaze away for a moment. There was no world where he could openly show his love for another man. This place sounded too good to be true and therefore had to be a cruel joke, though the Hatter didn't seem like he was joking.
The man's voice softened. "If I had known that helping you return would raise you to be this unhappy, I'd have never helped you. I'd have allowed you to stay in our world. I thought you needed your parents, but… this wedding… today is your last chance at freedom. I swear to you that my world does exist."
"Today? He has forty-five minutes," the man with the clock said, approaching them. "Maybe an hour at the most. But once he says his vows, he's lost to us." His gaze turned to Sirius. "Once you make your vows, you've made a commitment to this world and you must honour it. With that commitment, you can't ever access our world again. I'm sorry."
Sirius started to panic. Wedding? Less than an hour? He looked around him, noticing for the first time that flowers were being brought out and chairs being positioned at the other side of the garden. There was a small flowered arch with dark red and white roses wrapped around it. He was horrified - this was his wedding.
How had he not seen what his parents were up to sooner? The way everyone was looking at him, his mother's kindness and most expensive hat. They all should have told him to run before now.
His parents had once approached the idea of Sirius marrying, but that had been a year ago and the conversations had lasted a month before they stopped talking about it. Sirius had met with two potential fiancees and had caused a scene each time. Sirius had assumed that his parents had taken his request to wait a few years, but clearly they decided to go ahead without involving him or even telling him. He didn't even get a choice of bride this time around. If he had to choose, he'd have picked one that was at least bearable. Someone he could befriend.
Not Alecto Carrow who would expect him to… to perform in a bed they shared. The idea made him feel queasy.
Clearly his parents thought that the third girl they approached was the right one for him. Third time's the charm after all.
Sirius turned back towards The Hatter and James, but he found the area around him empty of people. Everyone had left, James and Hatter were nowhere to be seen and he was going to be married in an hour.
His eyes fell on the table. A teacup remained on the one he had been sitting at with the Hatter. Sirius was glad. It felt like the conversation had been a dream, but the teacup proved it happened.
The Hatter had been there.
...oOo...
Sirius wasn't quite sure where the hour had gone. One minute he had been with the Hatter and the next… the next he was being pulled up the aisle to stand at the front next to his father. He didn't even look at the bride as she appeared in a big dress and stopped next to him. He shut out the whispers from the guests about 'how beautiful Alecto looked' or 'how lucky she was to marry the heir of the Black family'.
He forced himself not to panic and all of this drowned out the priest and everything that was said. It wasn't until his father coughed, nudging Sirius, that Sirius knew it was time.
He heard Alecto at his side giggle. "I do," she said, smiling at Sirius. Sirius stared back. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad? Maybe she'd be so happy to do her parties and lunches that he wouldn't need to see her often? Maybe she could stay at this estate often whilst he stayed in London?
Then it was Sirius' turn to speak. It was his turn to say those two binding words: 'I do.'
He couldn't do it. He looked around helplessly and two hundred sets of eyes looked back. He looked at his brother, but Regulus could offer no help. His fiance was smiling eagerly, waiting. His father looked impatient.
He looked towards the priest and a flash of red caught his eye.
James had waited like he said he would. James could take him away.
Blind faith that James could show him somewhere that wouldn't have him marry a woman out of obligation to his family. The same faith that told him that Hatter would be delighted to see him again. In the end, it was the thought of the man with the amber eyes that pushed him to make his choice.
After all, they said that this was his last chance. After his wedding, he couldn't go there, which… did that mean Hatter would never return? What if the dreams of him stopped? He'd have nothing. He couldn't lose the other man.
"I'm sorry," he blurted out, knowing that his choice was insane, because the world surely couldn't exist, right? "I have to go."
He started to run before anyone could react. His feet pounded against the grass as he ran to the maze where the red had disappeared into. He was more determined than before knowing that this was his one shot at freedom and one shot at seeing his Hatter again. His only shot at staring into those amber eyes whenever he wanted.
Possibly his only chance at being with a man and it being right, rather than how his current society would see him.
He rushed around corners, avoiding running into the neatly trimmed hedges. He didn't know if anyone was following, but a glance back showed him that no-one was behind him. Hopefully he'd lose anyone who was chasing him, inside of the maze. He saw James up ahead, the large clock tight in his hand as he ran. Sirius pushed himself as hard as he could go until he was only a couple of feet behind James. They ran out of the other side of the maze, through the arch that faced away from the gardens, and towards the side of the house.
Sirius ran, finding himself losing his breath, but going strong. James seemed to sense this, slowing down ever so slightly, until they reached a steep hill.
James climbed it and Sirius followed, only to find that his Hatter was resting at the bottom, his hat covering his eyes and a cup on the ground next to him.
"We're late," James said, looking annoyed as he nudged the other man with his foot. "Get up, we've got to go."
"No rush," Hatter replied, fixing his hat and looking up at Sirius. Sirius found himself lost in the amber eyes and it didn't take him long to realise that he had run from the wedding not just because of a promise of a better life… it was because of this man. Because the thought of never seeing him again made Sirius willing to give up anything and everything for him.
He offered Hatter his hand, and the man took it, using it to help him up. Sirius' hand lingered in his for a long moment before James cleared his throat. Hatter looked a little confused, but Sirius wasn't confused in the slightest.
"This is crazy. You are both crazy," Sirius said. "I swear, you better get me out of here. My Mother will be right behind us."
"If you're in a rush…" James shrugged before shoving Sirius towards the hole at the bottom of the tree. Sirius lost his balance, quickly falling in.
"Why did you push him?"
"I didn't mean to push him down there. I was just pushing him towards it."
"Well, I better go down and help him."
There was no light, only darkness and the sensation of falling and Sirius was terrified. He was going to fall to his death.
...oOo...
It was soft when he landed, which made no sense in the slightest. It should have been a hard collision with something, but Sirius wasn't hurt. He lay still, wondering if he had somehow died and not remembered the feeling of his body breaking.
"You can open your eyes now."
The Hatter.
Sirius' eyes quickly snapped open, searching for him. It hadn't been a dream after all, and he was still alive… then what… "What happened?" he found himself asking, not sure how he had survived the fall.
"James was a little rough with you," the Hatter responded, sounding apologetic on James' behalf. "He's very sorry about that. He was trying to push you towards the hole and not down it. I just want to make sure you're certain about your choice. There's still a way to bring you back if that's what you desire."
"No, I don't want to go back," Sirius insisted, his gaze moving slowly around the room. A dozen doors surrounded them in the circular room, and there was only a table with a key and a potion on it. He wondered what they were for and tried to recall if he had seen them before. The more he thought about it, the more familiar the room became to him.
So he must have been there before… right? The Hatter was right, they must have met before if Sirius had visited… and then he recalled it. The 'dreams' his parents had scolded him for. The dreams were of another world with trees in every colour. Strange paths that disappeared and reappeared and an odd cat. The memories were old and there was so much he had forgotten, but he remembered the man in the hat greeting him and giving him tea before showing him the way to go.
He couldn't keep calling him 'Hatter' though. Surely this man had a name with which he was known? "What is your name?" Sirius demanded, turning his gaze back to the other man. "You can't be called Hatter as your known name. Is that your profession?"
"It is," the man said, though he was clearly thinking hard about the question. His eyes remained locked onto Sirius' face. Sirius waited patiently for him to come up with his name, eager for something to call him.
"Remus," the Hatter finally murmured uncertainly. "Remus Lupin… I think that's who I… I haven't thought about my real name in years. Strange that - names as such powerful things and I forgot mine."
Sirius stared at the strange, beautiful man. "Years? How old are you?"
"I don't quite know," Remus said, grinning again. "Time down here doesn't work the same as up there. I'm somewhere between eighteen and… and timeless, I'd wager."
"So if I stay here, I'd… I'd stay this age?" Sirius was doubtful, it was something he had to see to believe. He didn't even know where they were. "And… and it's different down here?" Sirius checked. "I can be free to be myself?"
"You can be yourself, you can be anyone you want… but you can't be me. I'm currently being me and it would confuse us both if we were both me and none of us were you."
Sirius chuckled. "So… what… what about… love?"
Remus' expression softened. "It's possible to find love down here," he said.
"Have you found love? You say you've been here for so many years, you must have found love."
"I've found men I've cared deeply about, but love hasn't been on the cards for me." Remus chuckled, though it wasn't as carefree as before. "Funny as one of them was actually a card."
"A… card?"
"He left. He joined the red queen's army." Remus' eyes lowered. "I believe I broke several mirrors a while back, or maybe I accidently walked under the ladder, or it walked over me. Perhaps—"
"Perhaps you just hadn't found the right person to love," Sirius whispered.
Remus' eyes snapped up to him, regarding him carefully. "Perhaps," he agreed. The smile appeared as though it had never left his face. "Though sometimes it doesn't work out for all of the right reasons. When Frank was attempting to court me, that's when Alice came back to Wonderland. You can't help who you fall in love with, Sirius. I could see it happen before my eyes and their love was what the flowers sing songs about. I stepped back so that Frank wouldn't stay with me out of obligation. I cared for him, but it wouldn't be enough and I didn't want to be the reason they were apart."
"I have to agree. You can't help who you fall in love with," Sirius murmured. He moved slightly closer to Remus. "So, just the card and Frank?" he asked, knowing he was sounding slightly possessive, yet unable to help himself. If Remus blurted out a long string of past lovers… well, Sirius would never be able to measure up to that sort of experience.
"Just them," Remus replied, much to Sirius' relief. "In all my time, just two people to care about me in that way."
"Maybe it's time for a third person?" Sirius suggested, unable to understand why the whole of Remus' world weren't attempting to court him. "Third time's the charm after all."
"You know… we've had a lot of visitors, but so far, Alice and Lily are the only ones to return to us. Well, until you arrived of course. So maybe you're right - third time really is the charm. You're the third person to arrive here. The third person to…" he trailed off, a blush appearing on his cheeks briefly.
"To care for you?" Sirius murmured, guessing what Remus was thinking.
"I must say I'm glad you've returned," Remus said quickly, his blush deepening. "You needed us and we got there just in time. Now, let's leave this room and I'll show you your new home. I know the queen will give you a room at the castle—"
"Do you live at the castle?" Sirius asked as Remus bypassed the table and headed to a yellow door half of his height, examining it carefully before nodding to himself.
"I live in a windmill," Remus admitted, glancing over his shoulder shyly, as though he were embarrassed about where he lived. Sirius thought it was interesting. He had never met anyone who had lived in a windmill before. Though it was a far reach from the estates Sirius had grown up in, it sounded much more exciting and homely. It sounded like somewhere he wanted to be. Remus had no reason to be embarrassed.
"I don't want to live in the castle. I've lived in large estates all of my life. I don't want to be somewhere that could remind me of that. I don't want a building where I'd have my own set of rooms or be far from others. Is there space in your windmill for two?"
Remus froze. "You… you want to stay with me?" His voice was lighter now, as though he could barely believe what Sirius was saying. Without turning around, he abandoned the door and headed to a red door on the other side of the room. He ran his finger down the side of the door frame, causing the door to swing open.
"Are you sure?" Remus asked, turning his head and watching Sirius carefully. "It's big, yes, but I make a lot of hats there so there's always material laying around. There are a lot of tea parties, which I know you don't like—"
"I feel like I'd enjoy tea parties if they were with you," Sirius admitted. "When do you have tea?"
"At teatime of course," Remus snickered, holding his arm out of the door, gesturing to something. Sirius moved to stand beside Remus, his eyes falling on a windmill a short distance away. It was large and looked somewhat worn down, but the place was beautiful. Large flowers danced in the breeze, some taller than Sirius. There were trees of all colours and leaves covering the ground. It looked like a rainbow had been painted down the path.
"It's not like your estate back where you're from," Remus whispered.
"That doesn't matter to me. I want to stay with you…" Sirius' eyes followed the leaves that the breeze was blowing across the ground. "It's beautiful here," he added. "So beautiful."
"Beautiful," Remus echoed, his eyes meeting Sirius'. He stared for a moment before realising what he had said. He blushed and shook his head. "My apologies, I'll just show you the best path so you know—"
"Remus," Sirius murmured, causing the man to freeze. "Don't move." He shifted closer to Remus and tried to muster up all of his courage. After all, Remus was a man and they were out in the open. This wasn't allowed back at his home. He'd never have dared to try and kiss a man before. He would never have been so forward with someone either, but this was a new world and new life.
He had to take a chance. It was either doing it now, or just spending his time wondering if Remus could ever feel the same.
He stood in front of Remus, bringing his hand up to Remus' cheek. His fingers trailed over his skin, passing over a scar on his face, before Sirius flattened his hand over Remus' jaw. Remus leaned into his touch eagerly.
Sirius slowly leaned in, his heart pounding as he closed the distance between them. He almost expected Remus to pull away, but Remus didn't even try. He watched Sirius, enjoying the feel of Sirius' hand, before his eyes shut when Sirius' lips were inches from his.
Sirius wasn't really sure what he was supposed to do, as his lips pressed gently against Remus'. Before he could over-think it, hands gripped his waist, gently pulling him closer and Remus slowly began to move his lips against Sirius'.
Sirius tried not to think at all. He only focused only on Remus' soft lips and on mimicking the way Remus' mouth was moving gently—perfectly—against his. Remus patiently showed him what to do and before long, Sirius' fingers had found their way into Remus' hair, the hat falling from Remus' head and to the ground nearby.
Neither of the pair wanted to stop to retrieve the hat.
It felt amazing. Sirius knew that if he had kissed someone else, where it might have felt right to kiss a man, it would have never felt like this kiss. This one was everything he had hoped for and more. It was because it was with Remus and Sirius was glad. His attraction to other men in the past barely compared to how he felt about Remus.
When they pulled apart, there was a new softness in Remus' eyes. His fingers moved to take the ribbon from Sirius' hair, leaving his hair to fall loose around his shoulders. "Was that the first?" he asked.
Sirius nodded. It was his turn to be embarrassed. Remus clearly had a lot of experience and Sirius had none. "It was more perfect than I could imagine," he admitted. "Remus… I… it wasn't just because of the promise of this new world, that I left mine. It was because I thought you may not come back and… and I didn't want that to be the last time I saw you. I've been dreaming about you for years."
Remus stared at him in awe. "I don't understand," he admitted, though Sirius could see that Remus did understand, he was just unable to accept why Sirius had chosen him. "And you chose to kiss only me? I feel honoured by that." The words were said with such honesty, Sirius could only believe him. The embarrassment quickly disappeared, leaving Sirius feeling emboldened.
"You said we don't choose who we fall in love with… and it's strange that you can fall in love in a single moment. I want to stay here with you," Sirius informed Remus, reaching for his hand. "I want to kiss you again… whenever I want. I want to… to kiss you even if we're in public. I want to go to your tea parties and… and hold your hand. Eventually, I want to sleep in your bed, next to you. In your arms… and… and…" Sirius trailed off, struggling to get his words out properly.
Remus smiled softly. "If that's what you want, that's what you'll have," he whispered, a blush appearing on his cheeks once more. Sirius decided he'd never tire of watching Remus blush, it was the most perfect thing he had ever seen. Remus reached down for his hat, and carefully set it on Sirius' head, before stepping back slightly to take in the sight. He nodded in approvement. "As for a single moment… there was a single moment at the start of our kiss… where…"
Sirius grinned as Remus struggled to finish his sentence. He stepped forward and brought his finger up, pressing it against Remus' lips to silence him. "There is no rush," he insisted. "My being down here is a forever thing… so that means we have forever. Forever to say those words." His gaze searching Remus, wondering if Remus wanted this to be a forever thing too, and hoping Remus would allow another kiss.
Remus' eyes darting to his lips was enough invitation for him.
...oOo...
Finally they parted and Remus reached up to fix his shaggy hair, his eyes moving to the hat on Sirius' head again. "I like you like that," he insisted. "I'll make you your own hat one day. So… what do you want to do?"
"Can you show me around a little?" Sirius requested. "I mean, if it's not too much trouble?"
Remus nodded his head. He took Sirius' hand and led him down the path that was full of coloured leaves. Sirius couldn't stop looking at them. They were far from the green, orange and brown leaves he knew back in London. There were so many colours, he was certain he couldn't see two identically coloured leaves.
The path led them away from the windmill, but Sirius was okay with that because he knew they would be returning to it later. Instead it led them towards a river. The path split, one fork leading across a stone bridge whilst the other ran alongside the water. Remus looked at Sirius questioningly.
Sirius decided to take the path along the river. He didn't want to stray too far from the windmill. After all, there was no rush in exploring—he'd get to see everywhere soon enough with Remus at his side. The sun shone down on the river, making the water appear as though it was glittering. Perhaps it was; Sirius wouldn't be surprised at all.
Sirius' eyes widened at the midnight blue trees that dotted the path, the further they walked. They were a beautiful shade and he knew one day he would get used to them, so he took the time to look at them and examine the leaves in fascination. Remus didn't try to rush him at all, just watched happily and talked about the types of trees down in Wonderland.
Sirius was startled by the strange wood-like creatures that were climbing the trees. "They're Bowtruckles," Remus insisted with a grin. He reached out and picked one up, setting it on Sirius' shoulder. Sirius' head spun around to look at it.
"Is it safe?" he asked.
"Very," Remus assured him. "I'd never put something on you that wasn't safe. They are only dangerous when they feel threatened, but I often walk through here and meet the creatures. They know me and trust me."
Sirius carefully watched the creature. "What does it do?"
"They guard the trees," Remus replied. He held out his hand, sensing Sirius' nervousness and the bowtruckle climbed from Sirius' shoulder. The creature was placed back onto the tree with the others. "There are a lot of creatures here that you won't be used to up there. We'll go slowly though, I promise."
Sirius nodded, watching the bowtruckles on the tree. Now the unknown creature wasn't on his shoulder, Sirius found himself quite liking the sticky things, whilst Remus silently watched, enjoying Sirius' curiosity at everything he had seen in a world that Remus was used to. Remus was finding himself looking at the surroundings with new fascination because Sirius was so eager to learn and Remus was just as eager to teach Sirius about his new home.
He watched them interact for a few minutes before finally turning to Remus. Remus lit up once Sirius' eyes were on him. Sirius marvelled at how he could get everything he ever wanted. That morning he had been so unhappy… and now he had met and fallen for a handsome and strange man who fascinated him. One he could see himself with for a long time… maybe even forever if Remus wanted, because Sirius couldn't envision being without Remus.
He was certain he fell in love with Remus the second he looked into his eyes at the wedding. He had no regrets in giving up everything for this man.
He couldn't help himself. He moved closer to Remus, leaning in for yet another kiss.
And if that red card guy came back and tried to win Remus back, well, Sirius wasn't about to let that happen.
...oOo...
They looked around for over an hour before Sirius started to feel weary. He wanted to see more, yet the days events had been draining. Remus noticed quickly, watching Sirius with concern.
"Queen Minerva will want to meet you," Remus said, stopping them from walking further. "James went on ahead to tell her that you came back here and she'll be wondering where you are. I'll send word that you'll stay at the windmill with me tonight and we can both go and visit her in the morning."
Sirius nodded. "Just for the day or will we be staying there?"
"It's a bit of a distance. We may stay the night before returning," Remus replied. "But since we have the journey, perhaps it's time to head home now? I'd like to start working on a hat for you, or at least look through the materials. Perhaps I'll have it finished by morning so you can wear it tomorrow? How do you feel about a matching—"
"Remus," Sirius chuckled. "Don't you worry so much. I'm happy to wait as long as it takes for the hat to be ready… so, you said 'home'."
"I did," Remus agreed, with a smile. "You asked if there was space for you there. You said you wanted to stay with me. Well, if you're staying, it's not as a guest. It'll be your home too, Sirius. Our home. Together."
"Our home together. I like the sound of that," Sirius murmured. He leaned in and pressed his lips to Remus'. "You know, I'm never going to tire of doing that."
"Perhaps the rest of the kisses can wait until our return because it'll be cold soon. I can already feel the winds picking up."
The leaves were swirling around them again and Sirius smiled. "Sure. Back the way we came?"
Remus shook his head, pointing to a fork a short distance away. "We follow the path that leads away from the river and it'll curve back around to our home."
"Keep saying that," Sirius insisted as they set down the new path.
"Our home isn't far," Remus said. His grin widening each time the words left his lips. Sirius was so happy and eager to get back, he didn't even stop to examine the flowers that were humming an unknown song along the path, or to stop to meet the strange animals in clothes that were holding some sort of meeting a few feet from where they were passing. There was time for all of that later.
Finally they stopped outside of the windmill and Remus took a deep breath. "If it's not what you want, you can still choose to stay at the castle instead."
Sirius looked at the long table in front of the windmill, before turning his attention to their home. "It's perfect," he replied. "My home is where you are, Remus."
Remus grinned and led him up the path and to his new home.
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