"Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you I had no control over."
Stephanie stumbled her way up the stairs with the loud beat of the music in the background. Now she remembered why she hated parties. Stupid immature kid's drunk and blaring ridiculous music. The only reason she came to these parties was because of her best friend Paul, which at the moment she was stumbling to find. Well stumbling partly because of some drunk kids who passed out on the floor and stairs and the brand new black high heels she just bought and had no idea how to walk in. Stephanie was more of the Tom boy type, the only reason she had bought the stupid heels was to try and impress a stupid boy. Stephanie sighed as she realized how stupid the idea was now.
"Paul" Stephanie called as she finally made it up the stairs. Stephanie kept walking through the hallway when she seen a guy coming out of one the rooms.
"Have you seen Paul?" Stephanie asked realizing it was one of Paul's friends.
"Who?" The boy yelled over the music.
"Paul" Stephanie yelled back as the boy nodded his head.
"He is in the last bedroom on the left" The boy yelled.
"Thanks" Stephanie yelled.
I'm so going to kill him thought Stephanie as she made her way down the hallway to the bedroom. When Stephanie approached the door she went to turn the doorknob but stopped when she heard moaning. Stephanie was kind of shocked and didn't really know what to do. She wanted to go home but there was no way she was going to try knocking on the door. Stephanie sighed as she backed away from the door and decided to just head outside to Paul's car, hopefully it wasn't locked.
Stephanie started making her way back down the hallway when she stumbled again and almost fell. That's it, I'm done with these things thought Stephanie as she slipped the shoes off and decided to just carry them. It took no time to get back down the stairs and outside to Paul's car. Stephanie pulled open the passenger side door and threw the high heels down in the floorboard and climbed in the seat and slammed the door.
"Stupid boy" Stephanie screamed "stupid, stupid boy."
She shouldn't have been surprised by being ditched by Paul. He did it all the time to her, but every time he did it felt like worse than the last time. It felt like he had a dagger in her heart that he twisted more and more into her heart every time. This time was even worse for her because Paul never talked about having sex with girls around her and she had definitely never heard it, until tonight. Maybe she was just a glutton for punishment. Every time Paul needed or wanted her to do something, she was right there for him. The thing is he never has seen her the way she wants him to see her. She was just Stephanie to him. The girl he could run to when everything was wrong and pour his heart out to and feel better.
"It's time to move on Stephanie" Stephanie whispered to herself "he is never going to fall in love with you."
Stephanie laid her head back on the head rest, slowly breathing in and out to calm down. When she finally started to calm down she wiped away the tears from her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. Stephanie heard the driver side door open and Paul got into the car and shut the door.
"What happened to you?" Paul asked looking at her.
"Nothing. Just got bored and came to the car" Stephanie replied.
"You sound like you don't feel good" Paul said as he started the engine and put the car in reverse.
"I don't. I have a headache" Stephanie lied as they took down the road.
"Okay then, no radio" Paul said as he looked over at her and smiled. Stephanie just wanted to smack him. Though it was her own fault really, he didn't know the way she felt and when he smiled at her how it made her heart race. Stephanie realized that getting over Paul was going to be harder than what she was realized. She didn't know how she was going to do it.
"So are you just going to sit there all night in silence?" Paul asked.
"Planned on it" Stephanie replied coldly.
"Are you pissed at me or something?"
"YES!" Stephanie screamed in her head.
"No."
"You're being vague. It's not like you. Are you pissed because we stayed longer than what I said we would?" Paul asked confused.
"No. Like I said before I just don't feel good."
"I don't believe you but okay we will just sit in silence on the way home."
He knew her too well; after all they were best friends though. She didn't understand how he could know everything about her but yet couldn't see that she was in love with him. She had been since they were fifteen. She remembered the exact moment she really fell for him.
"I just don't understand Paul" cried Stephanie as he wrapped his arms around her and she laid her head on his chest.
They were sitting on her bed and he was comforting her after her first boyfriend had broken up with her.
"Boys are jerks, I would know I am one" joked Paul trying to get her to laugh.
"Jokes are going to help this time Paul; the pain just isn't going to go away that easily."
"I know Steph. We are only fifteen though we have a lot to go through. There is a lot of pain and heartache before we actually find what we are looking for. Fifteen is too young to fall in love. That doesn't mean it's never going to happen for you. You will find that perfect someone but it's going to be later in life. Right now we need to be teenagers and have fun, and just because you get your heart broken once don't let that stop you. This is just going to make you stronger, if you let it."
"I know but it's just getting through the pain now" replied Stephanie as she lay back on her bed.
"I'm here for you, I'm not going anywhere" said Paul as he lay back her bed with her and wrapped his arms around her. Stephanie snuggled closer to him and laid her head on his chest and looked up into his eyes.
"Do you know why he broke up with me?" Stephanie asked.
"No, I have no idea" Paul replied.
"He tried to get me to have sex with him and I said no. Then he told me he didn't think things would work out between us because I wasn't satisfying him the way he wanted to be satisfied and I wasn't good enough for him."
"He is such a jackass" murmured Paul as his fist clenched. "Steph, there is nothing wrong with saying no if you're not ready. He was wrong; he wasn't good enough for you. You're beautiful, smart, funny, and caring. There is so much to you and he was too blind to see" said Paul as he brushed a strand of hair from her face gently and pushed it behind her ear. Then he gently brushed his lips against her forehead.
Stephanie smiled at the memory. The next day when she got to school she seen Brent her ex boyfriend as soon as she walked in and he had mysteriously got a black eye. Stephanie never heard how but she had an instinct it was Paul who had gave it to him. Paul had never really talked to Stephanie in the way he had that night again. He was still sensitive and caring to her problems but never affectionate like he was that night.
Paul pulled into Stephanie's driveway and shut the engine off.
"Steph, we need to talk" said Paul breaking the silence.
"Okay then talk" replied Stephanie nervously.
"Things are about to change, probably dramatically. I just want to warn you now so it doesn't surprise you if it happens."
"What is about to change?"
"Our friendship, life in general."
"Why?" Asked Stephanie feeling tears stinging her eyes.
"I have a girlfriend now, well I have for awhile but now it's more serious. I'm going to be spending more time with her, which is going to change our friendship. Also she doesn't like how much me and you are joined at the hip basically. She is okay with me and you hanging out and talking of course or I wouldn't even date her but she wants me and you to put a little space between us. This isn't a bad idea because we have been inseparable, since we were thirteen. We need new experiences, on our own. I mean you haven't had a boyfriend since we were fifteen. Maybe it's time to get back out there Steph and I don't want to hold you back" Paul explained.
"Are you saying I'm holding you back?" Stephanie asked shocked.
"No, I'm saying maybe we have both kind of held each other back. We stay to ourselves all the time."
"Sounds like the same thing to me" replied Stephanie as she got out of the car and slammed the door.
"Steph" yelled Paul as he opened the car door and leaned on the side.
"What?" Asked Stephanie turning around, hoping for something. Hoping for some kind of gesture.
"You left your shoes" said Paul with a smile.
"Just keep them, do whatever you want with them" replied Stephanie with hurt in her voice. Stephanie turned around and ran inside to her house and slammed the door as she heard Paul start the engine of his car.
A tear slipped down Stephanie's cheek as she realized this was it. This was her chance and sign that it was time to move on. She just wished he would have removed the dagger from her heart before he left.