Just a quick, drabbling one-shot. Very OC-ish, and I'll probably make a different version later on. But enjoy for now!
You probably don't know about me.
Don't feel bad. Not many people do. In fact, most people forget they ever saw me – a seemingly ordinary, normal teenaged girl – in the first place. But that's not their fault.
That's just my power. Which makes me good at my job.
What is my job, you might ask?
Cleanup crew for Batman.
What? You think the almighty-defender-of-the-night is going to stoop as low as crawling around to try and find the little gizmos in each of his gadgets. Nuh uh. That's my job.
Oh, I'm sure there are more glorious names for what I do, but that pretty much sums it up.
I pick up all his crap.
You know, the Batarangs and the Bat-rope and all those teensy tiny pieces of his broken equipment. It takes quite a while, but that's okay. I make time.
Well, not make it exactly. I can freeze time. Which, I might add, helps a lot. I mean, have you ever tried to pick up microscopic little pieces of broken metal? Not the easiest thing in the world.
Yeah, I know, I have a great power that could help a lot of people. Why aren't I a heroine myself?
Because I don't want to be.
It was my powers that got me thrown out of my own home and left helpless on the streets. It was my powers that made a bunch of criminals interested and try to kidnap me. It was also my powers that attracted the attention of Gotham's Dark Knight.
When I met him, he didn't try to force me to do good, like some other superheroes did. He just asked if I needed a place to stay, and then brought to his enormous mansion, where I learned the true identity of mantle of the bat.
Robin – or Tim Drake – was nice, too, though he didn't believe what I could do until I proved it to him. After that, he gave me lots of respect. But we still joke around and all. I'm friends with Barbara Gordon – Batgirl – and Dick Grayson – Nightwing – as well.
In fact, I know all the superheroes 'secret' identities in the Justice League. I'm their failsafe, in case anything goes wrong with their databanks and they need to reinstall who everyone is. Or if something happens to all of them and need to tell the families – and the world – who they really were.
It's a grim job.
I like being cleanup crew better. Every now and then, Robin will join me, and we'll just talk as we pick up the broken pieces from Batman's last fight. Robin will tell me the thrilling details and I'll nod and smile and listen, because we both know I'll never join in that way of life.
And Robin's okay with that. Batman's okay with that. Most of the Justice League is okay with that.
Even if the only reason is because they don't want me to blab all their secrets.
So I stay out of the fighting, and away from the action. Not that I haven't met my fair share of criminals, mind you. I think I might've met them all.
The Joker's pretty much insane, but I think, deep down, he is – or was – a nice guy. I'm sure he does have some feelings for Harley Quinn, but he's in denial.
But the Joker's main girl sure isn't. Harley's a real sweetheart. She knows what she does is wrong, but she's too much in love with the Joker to try and stop him. I've told Batman that, and he understands. He doesn't treat her too harshly anymore. So she's nicer to me, which is good, because her hyenas are fun to play with.
The Penguin, well, he's just cranky because he's broke. He just wants to go home, I think, and be with his birds, but he needs cash to do that, and he's too spoiled to work. So he's resorted to stealing. He told me once that he regrets ever starting, because now he's in too much trouble to ever stop.
Clayface is just really confused. I do know that he isn't really bad – just undecided. He told me once he didn't know who he was anymore. He's had so many faces and been so many people and lived so many lives that he can't tell the difference anymore. I've tried to help him so many times that finally Batman told me to 'leave the poor creature alone, that there's nothing to be done for him'. But I haven't stopped looking.
Catwoman, on the other hand, knows exactly what she wants, or at least what she thinks she wants. Right now, all she's after are jewels, but I know what she's really looking for is Batman, even if he is currently taken by Wonder Woman. Whenever I mention that she flies into a hissy fit, but usually, she's very nice to me. Even lets me cat-sit her favorite pets whenever she went out of town. Of course, I know her identity, too. I think Batman also knows, but I haven't spilled the beans, and neither will he.
Poison Ivy is, as her name suggests, deceptively evil. She has this warped sense on how to change the world, and we argue about it a lot. But we're good friends. I water her plants while she's locked up. I have a key to her house and everything.
I think the nicest villain I've met is Killer Croc, which is ironic because, well, he's a mutated killer crocodile. He' just looking for a cure right now, but I don't think there is one, and I suspect he knows that too. So he drowns his sorrows by stealing. I visit him every so often, freezing time to give us a chance to talk, about the world and the stars and what would have to be done to make this all a better place. I know that Batman doesn't like it, but he's never pressed the matter with me, and that's fine. I'd never let any villain out of jail. If there is one thing I have faith in, it's justice.
Surprisingly, most of the villains have that same line of thought.
And that's what makes the League nervous. The fact that I know so many of the enemy and the allies personally, and share the same ideals with both.
It's the real reason they don't force me to do anything that I don't want to. I know too much and posses such power, I could, quite possibly, destroy the world.
But I'm not stupid.
I may not be a hero, but I'm not a villain, either.
I'm Batman's cleanup crew.
And I like it that way.