The Heart Wants What It Wants, a fruits basket fanfic

A/N: This story is a dedicated request to Mika-chan. Thank you for your love and support, my friend! The lyrics featured in this story are from the song "The Heart Wants What It Wants" by Selena Gomez.

Her weary azure gaze took in the shadows playing along the pale flesh of his back, watching the gentle, rhythmic movement of his breathing as he slept. In the rare, peaceful moment of silence, she tentatively stretched her slender fingers to touch him in a lovers caress. But sudden memories flitted through her mind to halt her gentle touch.

She loved him. With all of her heart and soul she loved him with a level of desperation that sometimes frightened her. And always left her exhausted.

You got me sippin' on somethin'
I can't compare to nothin'
I've ever known, I'm hopin'
That after this fever I'll survive

Because they very rarely experienced this level of peace.

The highs were always so very high. Intoxicating. Moments when he loved her so much that he took the very breath from her body.

I know I'm acting a bit crazy
Strung out, a little bit hazy
Hand over heart, I'm prayin'
That I'm gonna make it out alive

But then there were these moments where he was gone completely. Laying right next to her. So close, like now, and yet he was so distant. Off in another world of his own thoughts, leaving her completely alone and cold on the inside.

The bed's getting cold and you're not here
The future that we hold is so unclear
But I'm not alive until you call
And I'll bet the odds against it all

It was in these moments that she began to wonder if he might be better off without her. Because she knew that in these moments he was dealing with something so completely beyond her...and she doubted that she was helping him by staying by his side.

Sometimes he would sense her thoughts and become so completely enraged. Screaming that if he was making her this overwhelmingly miserable that she should just leave.

She should just leave...

Save your advice 'cause I won't hear
You might be right but I don't care
There's a million reasons why I should give you up...

But he would always come back to her, apologetically with heart in hand. And his crimson gaze would burn another wildfire in her soul.

And she would stay.

But the heart wants what it wants

...because...

The heart wants what it wants

She loved him. Wholly and completely.

The passion had become such a rush. A high she couldn't live without.

Each kiss.

Each touch.

Love with such intensity that sometimes she wondered if she would make it through to experience the next moment.

You got me scattered in pieces
Shining like stars and screamin'
Lighting me up like Venus
But then you disappear and make me wait

And then he would distance himself again. Remove himself from her, leaving her to go into withdraw.

Waiting.

Hoping.

Wondering what she had done wrong.

And every second's like torture
Heroin drip, no more so
Finding a way to let go
Baby, baby, no, I can't escape

And tonight was one of the worst moments they had experienced. Leaving her awake, gazing at his sleeping form. Once again wondering if staying with him was for the best.

The bed's getting cold and you're not here
The future that we hold is so unclear
But I'm not alive until you call
And I'll bet the odds against it all

Because, tonight had been marred by the lowest of lows. His screams so angry. Words so hurtful that they tore right through her, leaving her devastated. Broken and shattered, sobbing on the floor. And then he had just left. Just like that.

...but...after a time...he had come back to her.

And the high had been more than she could bear, setting her in flames.

Save your advice 'cause I won't hear
You might be right but I don't care
There's a million reasons why I should give you up...

And she knew she had to stay. There was nothing else for her but him.

But the heart wants what it wants

The heart wants what it wants

Staring at his back, she understood that their love would never be perfect.

This is a modern...fairytale
No happy endings
No wind in our sails

The lows would always be there to drag them down into the darkness.

But, like waiting out the endless night, she knew that eventually the high would come. And it would be worth it, bringing her back into being. Making her live again.

But I can't imagine a life without
Breathless moments
Breaking me down, down, down, down

All she had to do was wait out the darkness. The light would come in due time.

The bed's getting cold and you're not here
The future that we hold is so unclear
But I'm not alive until you call
And I'll bet the odds against it all

Turning over in the bed to face away from him, Tohru stared out their windowsill, gazing at the moon. Letting the memories lull her into another fitful sleep. But they were memories she cherished. Ones she couldn't live without...because they were filled with him.

Sleepless nights spent with him as the two stared at the moon as she did now. Alone. Wiping a small tear away, Tohru soothed herself, hoping for some small reprieve in sleep

Save your advice 'cause I won't hear
You might be right but I don't care
There's a million reasons why I should give you up...

She knew that the morning would bring the light. Another day. Another high. Things would be better in the morning.

But the heart wants what it wants

The heart wants what it wants

Closing her eyes to sleep, Tohru felt the form next to her rustle in restless slumber. Neither one of them slept well after nights such as these. Quieting herself in expectation that he would drift back to sleep, she was taken aback at the arms that tenderly wrapped themselves around her.

The heart wants what it wants, baby
It wants what it wants, baby

And in the darkness he began to whisper to her. Soothing her pain and anguish with his words as she drifted into peace in his arms.

It wants what it wants

His arms would always be her home.

The End

A/N: So...if you can sense my passive aggressive dislike for Kyo, fantastic! Give yourself a cookie. If you can see the slightly abusive relationship, even better! And if anyone even breathes a word about how Selena Gomez dated Justin Bieber...trust me my friend. No one will hear from you again.