When We're Alone

I can't help but to secretly feel that way about her. I'm not sure if I'm guilty about it or not. But the way that she can effortlessly garner attention; the way that she can just walk into a room, and it's no longer "Mai and Anzu" together—it's just Mai. Every dog in the park has to take a look at her, praying that they can toss her a bone. They can't, because she's mine, and that won't change, but sometimes, I secretly hate that ability in her. Even when we're alone.

Seducing me; that's what she was doing. Mai didn't really have to try. One glance and that was all that it took with me—but she was actually trying. She was staring at me, reading into me with her eyes—but mine weren't meeting hers. They were still trying to take in that lacy getup that she was in. "Hey suga'," she said, as though it was that simple.

Hey. Sugar. No, it was much more than that.

Somehow she immediately knew that something was not-quite-right with me. "Suga' what's wrong?" she asked immediately after, walking over.

My eyes quickly peeked in an embarrassed way at her thighs as she moved in my direction and I redirected my eyes to her face; I suddenly felt like I had been doing all the wrong things, been making all the wrong choices—my eyes were filling with tears. I wasn't really sure exactly what was making me cry. It could have easily been my guilty feelings or all of the secret resentment I had built up—or both. I shook my head, because none of this was her fault. She was Kujaku Mai and that this was the effect that she had on people and on me. "I don't know," I answered because I was too afraid to tell her how I really felt.

Without thinking twice she held me gently, arms enclosing around my shoulders with a soft sigh. "Do you wanna talk about it darling?" I shook my head. It was my problem and not hers. Her hands were rubbing circles onto my back and it was more soothing than I deserved. "I can go make some tea if you want." I shook my head again. I just wanted her to stay right there, arms wrapped around me. I had no idea what she was thinking; she was probably upset that I'd ruined the perfect night that she'd set up for us. "Alright," she said. "I'm not going anywhere. Come here." She led me to the bed and sat me down, further apart when she sat next to me but still rubbing my back. "…Suga'…" she said, sighing, and I knew that she wanted to ask.

I wiped my tears, reiterating a point to myself that I hadn't realized that I had been questioning until now. "I love you, Mai," I said, delivering a kiss to her right cheek. She smiled a little, but she looked very confused. I sniffed.

"…I love you too." There was a moment of silence before she asked, "Are you sure you're okay?" I nodded, and she folded me into her arms again. "…you scared me," she chuckled nervously.

Now I knew I was jealous. I smiled, and when I looked her in the eyes I realized—it was just Mai. I wasn't with her. I didn't know enough; I wasn't strong enough or confident enough—I was missing so many things.

I would have to work harder to catch up to her.

This is a drabble that I also submitted to the YGO drabble contest on LiveJournal. It's a fun contest indeed, and it doesn't take too much kind. The rounds are every other week, I believe, so if you have an LJ head on over there and submit something~!

I liked this, actually. It's my first real, submitted piece of shoujo-ai. It's very subtle and not blatant at all, and I think that those two things are the reasons why I was able to pull it off decently. Anyway, I hope that you like it if you haven't read it already.

"I will return, for I am the darkness..."