This Isn't What I Wanted

You know, your birthday is supposed to be all about you. You're that special someone that has lived yet another year in this world that we were all born into at some point. But today marks that point of which you, specifically, became a part of everything.

A Mr. Roronoa Zoro was not entirely different from everyone else, in the sense that he, too, wanted some sort of recognition that it was his special day, and only really wanted a few simple things. He wanted good food, good drink, and his friends to share at least the food with. They could go fuck themselves if they thought they could jip him of his birthday booze. Not gonna happen, not on his special day.

And he made sure that it didn't. He was already on his couch, lounging after enjoying a fine bottle of sake, appreciating the calm of the day before people started arriving to tell him happy birthday. Naturally, he was never one to really openly admit that this was something that he wanted, and sort of expected, but, like most people, he did want the recognition.

But you know what they say: be careful what you wish for.

o()o()o

Zoro was sprawled out on his couch, contentedly listening to the gentle hum of his ipod on its lowest volume. It was really just backround noise that helped him fall asleep just as it had many years ago. He was so close to that sweet relaxation when his phone vibrated in his pocket, startling him wide-awake and setting his heart pounding faster than a mouse's, he was afraid for a moment that it wouldn't be able to handle the sudden tempo change and would...explode or something.

Arching his body so he could get inside his pockets, Zoro grabbed his vibrating alarm clock and flipped it open. "Yeah?"

"Hey Zoro!" Came an excited voice. "I'm on my way over! Just wanted to make sure you weren't naked or something. But since you answered I guess it's ok for me to come over?"

"Nnn..." Zoro groaned as he relaxed into his couch again, already beginning to fall asleep.

"Kay! Be there in a few!"

"No, Luffy," but Luffy had hung up, leaving Zoro only the dial tone to talk to, "I don't want..." And with that, he fell back asleep.

o()o()o

...poke...poke...poke poke...poooooke...

'...That's...really annoying...' Zoro cracked his eyes open to glare at the person above him. He was surprised when it wasn't Luffy who was pestering him.

"Hey sleeping beauty."

"Ace?" Zoro tried to sit up a but, but Ace had him pinned by straddling him across the hips. "How'd you ge—"

Ace leaned forward and sealed his lips over Zoro's, swallowing Zoro's question while sporting a self-satisfied smirk. "You left your door unlocked again." He whispered over Zoro's stiff lips, gentle puffs of hot breath tickling them at every syllable.

"Aph! Mm! Phtop doim dat!" Zoro twisted his head around to escape the persistent pair of lips, only to see that someone else was in the room.

"Ace! You get off!" Luffy dropped what it'd been that he'd been holding and pulled his brother off his friend and onto the floor. "Asshole! I told you not to ouch him! And how dare you lock me in the car just so you could get up here first!"

Zoro pushed himself up so he was sitting with his back against the armrest, wiping his mouth with the back of his arm. 'What the hell is going on?' He got up from the couch and slipped into the kitchen for a drink of water as he waited for the brothers to finish arguing. He turned to look out the window above his sink, admiring the view of the building next door. There was a creak and then, not 5 seconds later, a pair of arms wrapped themselves around his waist.

"He can't have you, you know..." Luffy mumbled into Zoro's ear, clearly quite unhappy with the scene he'd walked in on. Perhaps hurt even. He kissed up Zoro's neck and ran his tongue along the bottoms of his earrings, watching them swing before nibbling on the earlobe.

"Hm." Zoro didn't want to engage by agreeing or otherwise, not while there was clearly a lot of turmoil beneath their somewhat calm façade.

"I saw you first."

"Nn."

Luffy's pout widened into a frown. "Zoorooo you're avoiding me."

"No I'm not. You've got my tied up in your arms, don't you?"

"That's not what I meant." Luffy whined childishly.

"Luffy!" Ace slammed the door open, a big, ugly, red mark ran up and down the center of his face. "What the hell? Throwing a cheap shot like that!" He grabbed his brother by the ear and pried him off Zoro. "And to think I drove you here so you could give that thing to Zoro." Throwing his brother against the wall, Ace quickly recaptured what was 'rightfully his'. Ace planted both hands firmly on the counter, entrapping Zoro between them. He nibbles and sucked at the tan neck until he was violently removed.

Zoro rolled his eyes at the behavior and tried to ignore it as much as he could. He continued to sip at his water. Now, it may seem odd that Zoro was so calm about this. Well, he was no longer surprised or got easily flustered by it. Why? Because it'd been going on for the past two weeks. Zoro had been badgered and pestered and hounded and harassed (and molested) for the two weeks that had been leading up to his birthday. He knew what he'd wanted and that'd been all he'd asked for on his birthday. That's all he'd ever wanted for his birthday: food, booze, and the company of close friends. So far, his birthday had only had a part of that: booze and company. However, it was not welcome company, and his peasant alcohol buzz had been shattered by that damn phone call. He just wanted to go over to Sanji's, eat the bastard's food with the rest of the gang, go home, and sleep peacefully. He was sure that all hope of that should be dashed as soon as possible, leaving less room for future disappointment.

The phone rang and he saw this as a chance to break away from the two strong-willed D's. He picked up the old-styled phone and listened.

"Moshi Moshi..."

"Oi, you gonna be over tonight? I don't wanna make food if you're not gonna be there."

Zoro sighed and looked at the kitchen door. It would gently swing out towards him at every violent crach.

"Ah, doesn't sound like you'll be able to make it? You know I could always bring you something. I'm willing to be nice if it's your birthday. And I know you don't have shit in your fridge."

Zoro could practically hear Sanji's smugness, but he did appreciate the gesture. "Hm...gimme half an hour, I'll know by then."

"Alright. Well, I can go shopping real quick, whaddya want, Marimo?"

Zoro smiled a bit at the nickname, but responded accordingly, "Shut up perverted love cook! Keep it in your eyebrow."

"Hn, Seaking and rice it is. I'll get stuff for sushi too just in case, it'd be nice to have that fresh though..."

"Shut up and leave me alone curly eyebrow."

"Screw you, shitty kendo-man." The two phones simultaneously slammed on their receivers. Both men smiled at their phones, understanding what the other had meant:

"Thanks for doing this."

"You're Welcome. Happy Birthday."

"Che, asshole." The kitchen door flew open, and Luffy and Ace came barreling through, each had a death grip on the other and neither were willing to release their prisoner.

"Leave Zoro alone, asshole!"

"He's closer to my age! I'm not jailbait! He should be mine!"

"We're only 2 years apart! That doesn't matter!"

"BAKA MONKEY!"

"AHO MERA!"

Zoro followed their future path of destruction and saw that an innocent, messily wrapped gift was in the way of their destructive course. "Ah! Luffy's—" Zoro lunged forward to grab for it, but it was too late. The long, rectangular box was crushed by a sudden flip, rolled over, and stepped on, tearing the poor thing to pieces. The wrapping paper had ripped open, revealing that there had been an ivory colored box beneath its shimmery surface. The lid had slid off and shards of glass had made their freedom flight and had landed within the tight coils of carpet; they were gonna be a bitch to clean up.

Zoro felt his anger build as the two brothers continued to fight, as if he'd gone completely unnoticed. "Would you guys..." his voice was level, calm, collected, and completely ignored. Suddenly, the mask of composure broke and Zoro couldn't help but practically explode. "...KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF?" He shouted, effectively claiming center stage. "I'm so fucking sick of having to deal with the shit you guys have been pulling!" He picked up Luffy's box. "Is today my birthday? Or just another excuse to compete to try and win me over?" He threw the box at their feet and it opened completely, revealing the watch that he'd admired in magazines and storefronts. They both released their holds and looked down at the destroyed present. "Well, you gave me something that matches how today's been going. A ruined present for a ruined birthday."

Zoro grabbed his winter coat, cell phone, and keys. Running down the stairs and outside the building to his old ford pickup, he prayed the whole way there that it'd start and he wouldn't have to walk and could just rely on the navigation system to get him to Sanji's. It didn't start. He swore. A lot.

The brothers, able to stand side by side without fighting for the first time in weeks, watched as Zoro shivered violently and then ran off in a random direction, punching Sanji's number – at least they figured it was his – into his phone while wearing his thick winter mittens.

"Luffy."

"Yeah."

And with that, they ran outside. Luffy took off after Zoro while Ace ran to get his car.

o()o()o

Zoro flexed his fingers inside his mittens, trying to keep them warm. "Shit it's cold..."

"ZORO!"

Zoro's pace sped up a little bit, but it wasn't quite enough. HE noticed that snow was gently starting to make its way down, but it melted as soon as it hit the pavement. A disappointment.

"Zoro, wait! Ace just went to get the car! He—Zoro!" Luffy finally caugh up with Zoro and grabbed him by the arm, only to have said arm be ripped from his grasp. "Zoro, I'm sorry."

Zoro remained silent.

"We were selfish, and we want to make it up to you." Headlights were visible at the end of the block: Ace. "Please Zoro, we won't fight anymore. We'll make it up to you."

Zoro turned around and glared at Luffy. Luffy only smiled, though sheepishly, in return. He extended a hand and Zoro stared at it for a moment before clapping their hands together. Zoro smiled ever so slightly as Ace approached a bit faster than the speed limit allowed. "It's a promise then."

The car pulled up and Luffy and Zoro both climbed into the back seat. "To Sanji's, Jeeves." Zoro snarked.

Ace couldn't help but laugh, "You cheeky asshole."

Smiles were shared and laughs were had as they made their way to Sanji's through the gently falling snow.

"You know," Ace began offhandedly, "you would've been cuter if you'd cried."

"Oi..."

The End

Author's Note

Another last minute fic but whatever :I

I do it all the time ¬.¬

Need to get better about that

I didn't edit, nor read through it, nor did I give it a "and it was the greatest birthday he'd ever had" speech...

And yeah, see you later!

-PD