Finals are almost over and so is school!
chachacha
But, Texas, dear, please stop being so wickedly hot because I'M MELTING.
I constantly have to wring myself out. Gah.
And now that these meaningless rants are over, please read and enjoy! Or if you don't enjoy, just read and chew me out for such horridness. Thank you!
"Hey. Hey, Lenalee. Lavi."
The two exorcists look up from their dinners to Allen, a question in their eyes. Allen looks fairly uncomfortable with his head bowed slightly and his fingers tapping against his knee. Kanda, as expected, doesn't even spare him a glance.
"Yesss?" Lavi prods. Allen raises his head slightly.
"Okay, so. So. Um. I have a question and it might seem... well. Uh..."
"Spit it out, bean sprout," Kanda kind of snarls, and the bastard actually smirks at his own newfound ability to rhyme.
What a world.
"Okay, so," Allen continues, after shooting The Look at Kanda, "if you guys had to die, like, right now. How would you want to go?"
Lenalee's fork pauses on the way to her mouth, and Lavi just kind of stares at him. Allen flushes.
"Just something I was. You know. Wondering," he defends flimsily. They continue to look at him for a while until he starts to fidget again and finally the silense is broken when Lavi pipes up: "Well, aren't you ever the optimist?"
Lenalee phrases that initial though somewhat differently after a punch to the shoulder. "What he means to say," she says kindly, while Lavi howls impressively, "is that this is a bit out of the blue. Is something wrong?"
"Just wondering," Allen says again, wishing he'd never asked.
Lavi, still nursing his abused shoulder, ponders for a minute, and says, "Preferably old age."
"Unnaturally," Allen adds, rolling his eyes. "An unnatural death."
"Oh." Lavi pouts, then grins wickedly. "La Guillotine."
"You can't take anything this idiot says seriously," Lenalee says apologetically. Lavi curses and holds a hand gingerly to his ear.
"It's okay," Allen says, "just forget I asked."
"No!" Allen jumps a little, and looks wide-eyed at Lenalee. "Sorry," she says, calmer. "It's just. It's a reasonable question. Don't ever be sorry you asked a question."
He nods, and then asks, hesitantly, "What about you, Lenalee? How would you want to die?" Lenalee taps a finger to her chin thoughfully and raises her eyes to the celing. After a moment or two: "I'd want to go down fighting."
Allen smiles. Of course she'd say that.
Then he gathers up all the patience and dignity and willpower he can muster, takes a deep, deep breath, and turns to Kanda. "And you Kanda?" Allen says as politely as he possibly can, which basically means he hisses it through clenched teeth. Kanda takes a moment to try and stare a hole through his forehead. And then, flatly:
"Orgasmic overdose."
Allen chokes. Miranda, who has been sitting not too far and listening in, swings her head to gawk at Kanda, eyes wide as saucers, her mouth agape and her cheeks aflame. Lenalee falls backwards off her stool with a clatter. And leave it to Lavi to join her there on the floor, howling again. This time, in laughter.
Kanda's face is a stone.
"It was a joke," he mutters sourly, face twisting in a scowl. He rises ungracefully, aims a kick at Lavi, and stalks moodily away.
"Well, don't do that anymore!" Lavi calls after him between bouts of giggles. "Every time you make a joke, a kitten dies!
"K-Kanda can joke?" Allen says, sounding strangled.
Komui pats his shoulder. "The boy has a gift."
Short and not-so-sweet.
Yes, well, I got this idea from my weirdo-friends who actually used this wording. Why do I hang out with such whippersnappers? 'Tis beyond me.
HOSHINO KATSURAAAAA! RELEASE A NEW CHAPTER OR I RELEASE THE KRAKEN!
...What in the world is a kraken? Hmm.