Legalities: Supernatural does not belong to me, although I wish it did. I am simply playing in Kripke's sandbox for a bit. All rights and ownership are the property of Kripke and the CW network. I am not making any money from this; it is for my own personal pleasure.

Idea: This little fiction has a story line, but it is unabashed hurt!Dean with extremely angsty!Sam and worried!John. This is purely a selfish little piece that I decided to share. I wanted to focus on Deans recovery and how one would come back from this type of situation. Especially when Dean would internalize everything...

Also, this is a very dark little piece of fiction, so please read all warnings at the start of the chapters and don't read it if you're not into that.

Synopsis: Third part in a trilogy, Dean has defeated the Pandora evil but he has lasting physical limitations as a result of the trials. Sam has graduated from high school and their father will be sending them on a hunt that will bring Dean full circle with where this trilogy started. Through this last hunt Dean will struggle to repair the damage to his body and Sam will struggle to save both of them from a creature that none of them saw coming.

Warnings: This story will contain everything from intense emotional situations, graphic depictions of present and past torture to intense angst. If you don't like this type of thing….don't read this story. I would suggest reading 'Gone Missing' and 'Missing the Hunt' first as they will set the scene for this story.

Please Review: Thanks to any guests and others that can't sign in...I really appreciate that you guys continue taking the time to let me know what you are thinking about the progression of the story.

WARNING...Mentions of violence and gore throughout, this might bother some people so consider yourself warned...there is quite a lot of ANGST in this story...as a matter of fact...I think all my chapters have a large helping of angst...and some hurt Sam and Dean...so be prepared...don't like...don't read.

Chapter 1

The Unexplained

Dean stood in the back of a typical American high school gymnasium. He was leaning against the long stretch of bleachers like any normal school aged kid…but this was no ordinary day…today he was watching as his younger brother Sam walked the line of graduating seniors and received his diploma along with the gold cords for his outstanding academic performance throughout his high school career. Dean could feel the pride swelling up inside his chest at the many accomplishments of his little brother. The kid had managed to maintain a 4.0 GPA, even while being hauled around the country and hunting ghosts and other supernatural beasties. Most kids his age were worried about pimples and prom…but not the Winchesters, they were hunters of the supernatural and that had infiltrated all aspects of their lives.

Dean shifted his weight when his bad leg began to twinge slightly and he sighed at the ever present reminder of how off the last few years had been for him. Through rehab, he'd managed to reduce the limp to a minimal action, rather than the pronounced one it had been for months after the seizure, nearly three years ago. He could run and he could hunt, but he wasn't as fast as he used to be…oh and the fucking stutter? Well, that damn thing hadn't gone away…at all…and it was a constant reminder to him what he'd suffered at the hands of Pandora. Dean watched the happy families and decided to drop the thick mental wall, which was now a constant presence inside his mind, and allowed Sam's pride and satisfaction to wash over him…it was Dean's one concession where the link was concerned. He tried to keep the damn thing up whenever he and Sam were around each other…but on days like this when he could see the intense happiness his little brother exuded…he couldn't help but want to feel that as well.

Sam didn't even comment on the feelings anymore, probably because Dean had learned how to keep his thoughts and feelings shielded from his brother's naturally prying mind. Not that Sam was intrusive or anything, but he was constantly worried about Dean's state of mind, so he seemed to try and keep track of his older brother's moods. Well, that so wasn't okay with Dean…so, he'd figured out how to block that line of communication years ago…and Sam seemed to think that the link had faded over the years. The youngest Winchester been more concerned with school and the ever increasing number of hunts that their father had made them participate in, rather than trying to catch his brother in a lie. Although, as far Dean was concerned he was grateful that he could still hunt. The injuries had made that a question for him…and it had taken months for him to prove that he was every bit the consummate hunter that he'd always been.

The only thing that still bothered Dean…was the stutter. And that was something that he couldn't change, so he'd found that by not talking to people, he wasn't put in a position where he had to explain the speech impediment. Needless to say that his womanizing days were long behind him at this point…he wouldn't risk the possible rejection. He'd tried a few times right after he'd gotten his walk back…but the moment he opened his mouth he saw the shift in their demeanor. The women were no longer looking at him as a potential sexual partner…but someone to be pitied and that wasn't something that Dean was willing to put himself through. So he'd stopped talking to almost everyone but Sam and his father. He supposed it made him look appealing from a far…like a loner in search of that one person that could change his lonely ways. But in truth, he didn't want them approaching him, so he simply stayed out of places where these types of women frequented. Oh, he still liked sex…he just wasn't cruising the scene like he used to.

He heard his brother's name called and watched with all the pride of a father as Sam walked across the stage, his hair falling forward into his face and covering his eyes. He reached out and shook the hand of the principal and then turned toward the audience. He held up the diploma and a grin spread across his face, the deep dimples he'd been born with making a full appearance when his eyes alighted on Dean's leather clad figure in the back. Dean smiled back and waved as he clapped along with the rest of the parents in the audience.

Once the festivities were finished, Sam walked quickly to where he'd seen his brother hanging out in the back. He maneuvered in and out of the throngs of gathered family, looking for the blonde hair of his older brother. Sam finally released a breath when he saw Dean leaning near the water fountain at the back of the room. He was wearing a black leather jacket and his usual cocky grin when Sam closed the distance separating them.

"So, a couple of my friends were going to go out tonight, to celebrate the graduation…think I can go?" He asked hopefully. Sam was so wrapped up in the festivities that he missed the flash of hurt that flickered in Dean's emerald green eyes…before his brother expertly covered it with an impassive look.

"G…g…go ah…ahead." Dean said quietly. He didn't want anyone else to hear him talking…but there wasn't really a way to answer Sam without words. Sam's smile spread across his face again and he pulled Dean into a hug and then quickly snaked his way through the crowd in search of Brandon and Jeremy. Dean watched Sam walk away with a heavy heart. He'd known that Sam would grow up and that he would develop his own friends and his own life…but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt to see it happening. Deep down, Dean had always known that his little brother was different from him. Sam had options…he was smart and he had always wanted a life outside of this life.

A part of Dean was a little jealous that there was a really good chance that Sam might be able to have that. Because he knew that there was no chance that he would be getting out…he had nothing outside of hunting and Sam. His entire life had been built around those two things and it was through them that he'd been able to survive.

He limped out to the Impala and sighed when he saw the graduation gift that he'd bought for Sam…it was lying on the front seat in Sam's spot. He'd planned on giving it to his brother after the ceremony and now it looked like a sad representation of their lives…wrapped in pretty packaging…but ultimately sitting discarded, surrounded by leather. I know exactly how you feel. He thought silently. Dean had been hustling pool for months to afford the gift for his little brother…and now he wondered if he'd even get the chance to give it to him. He was still staring at the bright blue wrapping paper when he heard footsteps running toward him.

Dean spun around and was nearly bowled over by the large form of his brother. "Dean, glad I caught you." He was panting and Dean decided that they needed to run more in their training sessions…well Sammy obviously needed to be running more. "Hey, we wanted to see if you wanted to come out to eat with us?" He was smiling hopefully at his brother and his eyes wandered to the interior of the car. "Hey…what's that?" He asked as he pointed at the gift.

Dean shrugged. "A g-g-g…gift…d-d-dummy…w…w…what's it l-l-l-look like?" His eyes dropped closed as he bit down the surge of self-hatred that bubbled up every time he heard himself speak.

Sam's eyebrows shot up into his hairline and he tilted his head as a smile worked its way onto his lips. "For me?" His blue-green eyes were twinkling with anticipation and his fingers were tingling with the need to grab the present and find out what was inside.

Dean raised an eyebrow and then laughed at the picture his brother was painting…of a little kid at Christmas. "N…no I b-b-bought it for m…m…m…myself s-sas-sasquatch." His green eyes were shining with mischief as he reached into the car and pulled the package out and handed it to the twitching fingers of his younger brother.

Sam carefully unwrapped the gift and set the paper on the seat of the Impala as he opened the wooden box and then whistled low in his throat at the item resting in the royal blue velvet. The silver Taurus was inlaid with pearl on the handle and had some beautiful etching on the barrel. His eyes flashed up to Deans in surprise. Sam knew that this was an extremely expensive gun, he and Dean had seen them several months ago when they'd been on a bullet buying run for their father. He'd been looking at this particular gun with an envy that was bone deep. Sam hadn't realized that his brother had seen that…or that he'd gone back and gotten the gun. "Dean…it's amazing. But, how did you afford it?"

Dean shook his head and smiled. "Doesn't m-m-matter." He slapped his brother lightly on the shoulder and Sam chuckled at the evasive answer. He'd gotten pretty used to Dean not answering most of his questions over the last three years. He still hated how quiet his brother had gotten since the stutter had shown up, but he loved that Dean still talked to him at least.

"Thank you Dean…I don't know what else to say." He admitted and then looked back at the gun again in admiration. "It's…I love it….thank you."

Dean grinned and then looked away as he felt the familiar burn of emotion working its way through his system. He made sure that the wall was securely in place before reaching out to hug Sam. "P-p-proud of y…you Sa…Sammy." He said quietly.

Sam's own eyes were suspiciously bright as he turned to set the box on the seat in the car, along with his cap and gown. "So, do you want to come with us to dinner?" He was pretty sure that his brother would beg out of the invite. Dean didn't really do crowds and he sure as hell didn't like to hang out with people that he didn't know. But Sam really wanted to make sure that Dean knew he was invited…hell, his brother would always be invited to the things in Sam's life.

The slight shake of Dean's head was the only answer he gave as he stepped away from Sam. "Okay Dean. But it's you and me later…we're going to a movie or something. Popcorn and that nasty licorice that you love so much…we'll get it all…the whole nine yards…okay?"

Dean felt the ice inside his soul thaw a little bit as he nodded enthusiastically at the idea of spending the night with Sam at the movies. There was a marathon of the Aliens movies playing at the Cinema-plex…so he knew that there was something they would both enjoy. He heard Sam's friends calling him and he leaned over so he could see them waving Sam toward a large truck, stuffed with newly graduated students. "Y…y…you s…should go." He said as his pulled his gaze back to his big little brother.

Sam glanced over his shoulder and waved. "Later?" He asked hopefully.

Dean nodded and pushed him in the direction of his friend's crowded truck. He watched and fought down the loneliness that flared inside his chest as Sam sprinted toward the truck. A long sigh escaped his lips and he crawled into the car, reveling in the familiar feel of the leather. The Impala never changed…and for that Dean found he was intensely grateful. Nothing else in his life seemed to stay the same…but his baby? She never changed and she didn't care that he stuttered when he talked or that occasionally his limp was more pronounced…particularly when the weather was bad.

The familiar rumble of her engine calmed Dean like nothing else could. He groaned when he realized that their father hadn't made it to the ceremony. He'd been so enthralled with watching Sam achieve one of his goals that he hadn't even noticed that their father hadn't made it. But as he pulled away from the high school he found that a slowly rising rage was spreading through his system. Why was it that nothing was more important to their father than hunting? It wasn't something that he had really ever noticed with himself…but this affected Sam…and that was something that he wasn't handling very well.

XXXX

Dean stared at the clock on the wall as it ticked past midnight and sighed internally. No one was home…his father hadn't been around when he'd returned after Sam's ceremony and his little brother hadn't come home after leaving with his friends. He assumed that Sam had lost track of time and that they were having so much fun that it hadn't occurred to his little brother that he was sitting at home waiting. He swallowed and decided it was obvious that they weren't going to the movie, so he grabbed some clean clothes and headed into the bathroom. He gently pushed the door shut behind himself and pulled his shirts over his head. He looked at the mirror and then turned away in disgust as the white scars caught the light and reflected his past back at him.

He turned toward the shower and then blew out a long breath as he reached in and turned on the water. Before the room filled with steam he managed to peel his levi's down his lean legs and then stepped into the small stall. The hot water immediately loosening some of his tense muscles as Dean leaned forward, allowing the water to cascade down his shoulders and chest. He pointedly ignored the tight painful feeling in his chest as he wondered if Sam had had a good night…as much he'd wanted to spend the evening with his brother…he hoped that Sammy had a good time. The burn behind his eyes returned and this time Dean let the tears fall. For the last three years he'd felt like there was something wrong with him.

He'd been able to come to terms with his disability and had even learned to deal with the slight limp that he couldn't seem to lose entirely…but he still felt as though there was something off about him. Dean blinked several times and then reached up to wipe away the remainders of the emotions and then grabbed the soap as he scrubbed his body before reaching down to turn off the water and crawling out of the shower.

His fingers closed around the white scratchy towel that the cheap motel they were staying in had so generously, provided and dried off before wrapping the material around his lean waist. Dean grabbed his toothbrush and went on with his nightly activities…he was unaware of the movement in the room outside the closed door of the bathroom. The sudden knocking on the door caused him to jump slightly and he then glare at the door as he waited for his heart rate to slow back down.

"Y…yeah?" He answered.

"Dean?" Sam's voice floated through the door…and Dean didn't need to feel anything from his little brother to know that Sam was already feeling guilty that he'd forgotten to come home earlier.

"D…d…don't w-worry about i….it-t-t." Dean called gently. He heard the loud sigh of frustration from his brother and he groaned when he realized that Sam was going to want to talk about this…and he really didn't want to. Part of him wondered just how long he could hide in the bathroom before Sam became suspicious of his motives. Probably not long enough. He thought in irritation.

"Dean…I'm sorry man. I lost track of time…and…" Dean heard Sam's forehead connect softly with the outside of the bathroom door as he leaned against it.

"I…i…its f…f…f….fine Sam." He said as he pulled the door open and walked past his brother toward his bed. Dean grabbed his duffel bag and rummaged around until he came up with a clean pair of boxers and some shorts. He slipped the clean clothes on and stayed turned from his brother in an attempt to end the conversation.

Sam's loud breathing was a constant reminder that his little brother didn't think that they had resolved anything at this point and Dean found that his patience was wearing a little thin here. He was the one that was 'ditched' tonight…not Sam…so why did he have to feel like the asshat? He clenched his teeth and finally turned to look at Sam and that was when he noticed the bruise forming on his brother's chin. All semblance of anger drained instantly from Dean as he immediately closed the distance and reached out to check the damage to his little brother's face. "W….w…what…." He didn't need to finish the sentence, Sam jumped in with an explanation.

"It was stupid Dean." He said as he tilted his chin out his brother's questing fingers and stepped back, putting a little distance between them. "Just forget about it…I'm fine." Sam had no intention of telling his overly sensitive older brother that he'd actually been the cause of the fight. One of Sam's friends had overheard them talking earlier and after several drinks the kid had started poking fun at Dean's expense. Trying to imitate the stutter that the older Winchester brother had and Sam had seen instant red. He'd slammed the kid up against the truck and gotten caught off guard by the quick right hook that had slammed into his chin before he'd knocked the kid unconscious.

Dean's eyes narrowed and he blinked several times before stepping away from the evasive look etched on his brother's face. He knew that he could drop the wall and maybe get a sense of what had happened…but every time he did that, he chanced Sam finding out that the connection was still there. So he simply inhaled and then nodded as he stepped further back and sank onto his bed.

Sam clenched his teeth when he saw the pain reflecting out of his brother's worried gaze as Dean simply pulled into himself and clamped down on his own feelings in favor of what Sam wanted. Dean was always doing things like that. Allowing that Sam's feelings were somehow more important than his were…and as far as Sam was concerned nothing could be further from the truth. But if he told Dean what had started that fight…it would just hurt his brother…and Sam wasn't going to do that. Life had handed Dean a pretty rotten deal already…and Sam wasn't going to add to that. "Dean…it really was nothing….I just…we were drinking and I slipped…caught my chin on the bed of the truck…that's all, I swear."

Sam walked over and sank onto the bed near his brother's hip. "I meant to be home Dean…I really did want to go to the movies with you…I'm sorry." He felt his brother stiffen at the apology and Sam nearly groaned with frustration. He'd asked Jeremy to take him home earlier, but they'd all been drinking and none of them was in a position to drive. So Sam had had to wait for Jeremy's older brother Mark to get home from work and then he'd given the youngest Winchester a ride home. He supposed he could have called Dean, but after the fight, the last thing that Sam wanted was for Dean to be around these pricks that were supposed to be his friends.

Dean shook his head and patted Sam on the knee…he looked at his little brother and wrinkled his nose in distaste at the smell of dirt and alcohol that he caught wafting off Sam's clothes. He pointed at the bathroom and Sam took the hint.

Once Sam was inside the small room, he sighed as he dropped his own mental wall and felt the slight wash of sadness and pain that was radiating down the link from his brother. He closed his eyes and shook his head…he'd learned to keep a wall in place and he was pretty sure that Dean thought the link between them had dissipated over time…but it hadn't. Sam had just learned to control what he allowed to escape his mile high emotional wall. He hadn't felt anything from his brother…not since the last night they'd been at Bobby's nearly three years ago…at least not something that he hadn't allowed. He was careful to control the flow of his own emotions so as not to tip off his brother that they were still linked on an emotional or psychic level.

After he'd finished his shower, Sam dressed and wandered back out into the dimly lit room. Dean was lying on his side, facing away from Sam and his breathing was even and deep, indicating that he was sleeping. Or, as was generally the case with his older brother…Dean was pretending to be asleep so that they wouldn't talk about things that he wanted to avoid. Sam sighed and went to his own bed, pulling the covers down and crawling between the sheets. His thoughts were jumping all over the place, he'd received an acceptance letter from Stanford…Sam had applied with the hope that he might get in…and then he could figure out how to pay for it. But when the school had come back with an offer of admittance and a full ride? He'd been thrown into a tailspin. Sam wanted to talk to Dean about the possible direction for his future, but he was worried that Dean would take it as being abandoned and that was the last thing that Sam wanted his brother feeling. So he hadn't brought up the letter to anyone and it was nearly killing him inside that he had this amazing news and he was worried about telling Dean.

Their father had been mostly absent over the last three years. Dean had been the one to keep Sam in school and ensure that his training hadn't been left to chance as they'd moved every couple of months. Something had happened between Bobby and their father and neither of the boys had heard much from the old hunter in the last couple of years. John wouldn't go into details; he'd simply said that they'd had a difference of opinion and that it had nearly come to blows.

Sam was just drifting off when he felt pain rush along the link between himself and Dean. It was rampaging through his older brother and Sam found that the intensity nearly took his breath away. As he tried to struggle up out of the sheets that were now entangled around his legs he heard his brother moan in anguish. "Dean!?" He called when he'd finally managed to extricate himself from the bedding. Sam ran to his brother's bed and dropped to his knees in front of Dean's pale visage.

"N…no…p…p…please I can't h…h…he needs m-m-me." His brother's face was scrunched in obvious pain and there were actual tears leaking out the corners of his clenched eyes. Sam didn't have a clue what Dean was dreaming about, but whatever it was…it wasn't good.

He reached out and was surprised when Dean's eyes flashed open and nothing but the whites of his eyes was visible. His brother's normal green irises were nowhere to be seen. "Dean, come on man. You're scaring me." Sam said as he shook Dean's shoulders and watched the green settle back into place as his brother 'woke up' and looked at him in confusion. "Dean…what the hell was that?"

Dean couldn't remember exactly what the dream had been about…but he could certainly feel the panic that it had created inside him. His eyes focused on the worried expression of his little brother and he shook his head as he tried to put the dream into some semblance of order before he tried to explain it. He'd been on a dock, the sun had been setting and there had been something there with him. Sam had been standing slightly behind him and somehow Dean knew that he was trying to negotiate for his little brother's life. He didn't understand what they'd been hunting…but whatever it was…it wanted Sam. And somehow, Dean had known that Sam would willingly hand himself over to this creature if it meant that Dean lived. But there was a catch…and now Dean couldn't remember what it was. He groaned in frustration as the dream dissolved into the misty memories of his mind that he couldn't access.

"I d…d…d….don't know S…S…Sammy." He stuttered and then swallowed his own massive internal response to the dream. He really didn't remember most of it, but he could tell by the narrowed eyes of his little brother, that Sam thought he was being evasive. "I-I-I'm not l-l-lying…Sa…Sammy." He finished with an edge to his voice. He watched as Sam just grunted and hauled himself up and moved back to his own bed.

"Whatever, Dean." He mumbled before pulling the blankets back and sliding inside the cool sheets. Sam shivered at the slight chill in the room and then he heard the movements of his brother from the other side of the room. He turned over for a moment and then sighed when he saw Dean turning the heat up on the small wall unit. He hadn't even realized that Dean had seen him shake at the chill in the air, but judging from his older brother's actions it was obvious that he had.

The little things like this made Sam feel like a crappy brother…every time he realized that his older brother was…like…pre-programmed or something…at an almost cellular level to care for him. How was he ever going to tell Dean about Stanford? Because, damn did he want to go in the fall. He blew out the breath he'd been holding and threw his arm over his eyes as he heard his brother settle back into his bed.

"G-g-good…ni-n-night S-S-Sammy." Dean said softly.

Sam shook his head as his brother's nightly admonition sank into his heart and poked another hole in his resolve to get out of this life…before it killed him.

TBC…

Author's Note: This is the start of the next story, it will span the summer before Sam leaves for Stanford and some of the intervening years until they meet back up in the pilot episode. For those of you that have followed this story from the beginning, while there isn't really a happy ending for the Winchesters…as you all well know…I will be returning Dean to a healthy physical condition before this ends. Thanks for following.

Please Review: I would like to know that there is interest in this last story of the 'Missing' series.