Disclaimers!

Summary- Many cats would jump at the chance to live again. Except one who wishes that his life would stay over. However- what would happen if he got sent back instead of another? Now he has a chance to live again but not nearly the same life.

Pale moonlight lit the ground as I paced around waiting for the rest of the cats of 'The Middle'. 'The Middle' was a place between Starclan and the Darkforest, it was for cats who did bad things but were trying to do it for what they thought would be for the better (or they went a little crazy in the head). I sighed

"When are they going to get here?"

"Antsy much?" My older half-sister Moonclaw asked

"I am not!" I defended

"Don't worry; I had to deal with my apprentice who could not sit still for five minutes. You never have been like this before- what got into you?"

"Nothing it's just- I don't know. I have a bad feeling about this."

"What is it Hawkfrost?"

"What if something goes wrong? Could that happen?"

"It's best not to think about it but, I think so. I never saw it myself so I couldn't tell you much."

"Real helpful." I sarcastically muttered with a roll of my eyes

"I'm not perfect ok? Sheesh! Plus- shouldn't the rest of them be here by now?"

"That's what I'm wondering."

"Hey guys!" Cinderpelt called out. She never did anything bad yet was in the middle because this was also where the cats with reincarnations stay.

"Hey Cinderpelt." Moonclaw stated with a slight smile "Is Hollyleaf almost here? Also, is Ashfur coming or is he too scared to come?"

"Hollyleaf will still be a bit. Ashfur? Well, here he comes now."

Ashfur skidded to a stop next to me and let out a sigh "Phew, good thing Hollyleaf isn't here yet!"

The gray tom had been afraid of Hollyleaf after she had killed him. He would have trouble getting over it just as I would have trouble getting over the fact that I was killed, twice. First had been with that one stake that Brambleclaw stabbed me with (and effectively causing Moonclaw and a few others to think that I was a vampire or something) and the second was because of my father. I was just trying to be a good kitty and help Stormpaw (cloud) and he murdered me. It was almost impossible to deal with the whole getting back from the Forgotten Forest to back to here.

Moonclaw jabbed me in the side with her paw. Before I could say 'ow' she stated "Vampire Kitty, focus."

"How many times will I have to tell you- I'm not a vampire so drop it!"

"It was a wooden stake." Moonclaw plainly replied

"I don't care! By the way- I was stabbed in the neck, NOT the heart."

"Still- you're a vampire." Moonclaw declared

"Are you two done yet with your whole family feud thing?" Ashfur asked

"Yep." I replied

"Good-"Cinderpelt started "Hollyleaf's coming."

Ashfur hid behind me as the black she cat with green eyes arrived. As punishment for what Hollyleaf did while alive- Ashfur's blood would always be on her paws. Hollyleaf narrowed her eyes at Ashfur and stated

"Is it time?"

"Yes."

"Now- which kit is it?"

"Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight's kit." Cinderpelt explained

"Why did you guys choose their kit out of any others?" Hollyleaf asked with slight interest in her voice

"It wouldn't live much longer if we never did this. Plus- it's to live your life that you never got. This time- it's not a lie." Moonclaw explained

"Well that's good." Hollyleaf purred

Hollyleaf padded to the still pool filled with stars a few tail lengths away and turned to face the rest of us "See ya later!"

Then we heard the snapping of undergrowth behind us and a low growl. I mentally thought

'Didn't I warn them of this? They never listen.'

It was clear who it was- at least to me. That was the same growl I heard, right before I was killed the second time- so that meant….

"Tigerstar."

After the dark forest battle- all dark forest cats lost the connection to the living world and lost quite a bit of their power. Unless- unless one went back instead of Hollyleaf! Tigerstar back in the clans? That is NOT a good idea. Me and the rest of the middle cats got into a defensive position around the pool. We expected an attack- we just weren't prepared for him to actually start winning!

In the commotion I decided to back up next to the pool just so I could be the last defense. Cinderpelt was battered around by Tigerstar like a leaf caught in a strong wind. Ashfur was the next to go down. Surprisingly- Moonclaw was downed after only a couple minutes. It was just me and Hollyleaf left.

Hollyleaf put up a good fight just as the others, but soon she too collapsed on the ground. Great, it was just me vs. my father. I backed up until my tail trailed in the water. I quickly slapped the water with my tail and angled the water so it hit my dad in the eyes. He was temporarily blinded and I took the chance to strike.

I swiped my claws along his face and kept out of reach of his paws and teeth. If there was one thing I learned- it's that a blinded cat could be just as deadly as a seeing one. Yeah…. Not fun.

With a sharp blow to my underbelly, I stumbled backwards until my left back paw slipped into the water. The water was cold to the touch and I found that it was hard to move without slipping further in. Tigerstar shot me a cruel smile

"Now you know why it's not good to go against the dark forest!"

He hit me and I slipped completely under the water. I could barely hear the other cats of the middle shouting but no words could pierce the cold silence that came with the water. I started to black out, but not before I could hear a sweet lullaby and warmth…

How long was I out? It's hard to even open my eyes and I don't know why. My body won't obey my commands and I ache all over. How did I get out? I don't know but… I like wherever I am. Someone was singing softly to me and it's all nice and warm. I cuddled up to whoever was next to me and I could hear someone purr

"Aww isn't she the cutest thing?"

WHAT? I am NOT a she cat! I barely opened one eye to a slit and took in my scenery. I was curled up to an orange she cat with a white paw and green eyes. I was in some kind of den and another cat stood in the entrance. He was a brown with darker stripes on his back and amber eyes. Another cat was a few whisker lengths away. He was a mottled gray tabby tom with pale blue eyes, a slender tail and a scar running down one side. Oh dear- I knew these cats. I was in Thunderclan! I think the cat I'm cuddled next to is….. Squirrelflight? Ew, I don't even like her. The tom in the entrance was my half-brother Brambleclaw and the gray tabby was Thunderclan's blind medicine cat, Jayfeather. Well, this was awkward. I heard Jayfeather state

"Well, she seems fine now. Now- have you came up with a name yet?"

"I'm thinking….." Brambleclaw muttered

I finally opened my eyes and saw that something was way off. I was too small and when I looked down at myself- I looked strangely…. Female. Now THAT was strange. I could feel fear fill my body and I let out a series of, rather cute, little squeaks. Brambleclaw purred

"A rather cute and feisty one aren't you?" Brambleclaw asked

I saw Stormcloud walk into the nursery. She had a look of recognition on her face when she saw me and stated "How about Hawkkit?"

"You mean-"Jayfeather started

"Well she does look almost EXACTLY like him. I mean look. The same ice blue eyes, the same powerful build, the same bushy tail, dark brown tabby fur, and the same white underbelly!" Brambleclaw exclaimed

Well, surprisingly enough, of all cats- it's Stormcloud who knows who I am. I'm not sure whether to be impressed or depressed. Impressed that Stormcloud actually has a brain or depressed that no one recognizes me. Whatever, it makes things less awkward that no one realizes that I turned into a she cat. Wait- minus the fact that when the kit goes to sleep and I'll go back to the middle. I can only guess what kind of new jokes they can make out of this!

Surprisingly, when I went to sleep- I wasn't in the middle. No- this was much different. The grass was thick and lush and bright silver stars flecked the sky. I looked around to see where I was until I came to a conclusion- this was Starclan or a dream. No one seemed to be around; I wondered how I got here. I stifled a small sigh and sat down to relax. I could tell that I had been stressing out too much earlier, I mean who wouldn't? My life is just really just- terrible. Why do I even bother anymore?

"Hey! You look like me!" I heard a she kit's small voice exclaim. I looked up and saw that there was a small kit standing in front of me. She was right- we did look alike. Wait…..

"Hi, my name's Hawkkit!"

Great, I was right; this was the kit I was stuck with! How did she get here? And- didn't reincarnated cats take over completely? There was NO way that this could happen

"Um…. Hello? Aren't you going to tell me your name?" Hawkkit persisted

This could not be happening! However, I responded with "Uh, yeah. My name's Hawkfrost."

"Are you my conscience? You sound like that one cat that was talking, but no one else could hear him!"

"Sure….. Let's go with that." I stated, trying to register this fact.

Hawkkit looked up at me and poked me. She got a confused look on her face and asked "I thought you were my conscience! You must be me-just from a past life?"

I was surprised that she knew that and nodded my head "Y- yes."

"Cool! Any ideas on how I'll get to be a great warrior?"

I frowned slightly "No. You're going to be a medicine cat."

Hawkkit looked shocked and she stuttered "B- but I- I want to be a w- warrior!"

I groaned "Trust me; it's going to be much less awkward for both of us."

Hawkkit hissed "You're a mean kitty!"

"I'm not mean. Now when you wake up, I want you to start helping Jayfeather with basics."

*POV change + it's when she's awake*

I woke up, it was still night out. I was tired but I didn't want to go back to bed just yet. I stretched out my legs and stood up. My mom was sound asleep so I took this as an opportunity to explore. I stepped out of the nursery and scented the air. In the air was a very faint trail of a cat not from here. In curiousity I followed the track. I passed the night guard, Berrynose. He was too stupid to even notice me. My path weaved through trees and brambles, thorns and bushes. My poor paws were sore by time I reached the end of the trail. I was standing on a sandy shore with the lake lapping at the end of the sand line. I felt a chill run down my spine and I tensed up although I didn't know why. My heart quickened and I felt adrenaline run through my veins.

I slid out my thorn sharp claws as if I expected to fight. I turned my head slightly and narrowed my icy blue eyes. I crouched down and let out a threating hiss

"Who's there?"

No one answered and I relaxed. I let out a sigh of relief only for there to be a flash of light. Someone I didn't recognize whispered in my ear

'Before there is peace, blood will spill blood and the lake will run red.'

The nighttime lake scene turned to a time where the sun was beginning to set, casting flames on the water. No…. that wasn't sunlight- it was blood! I saw a battle unfold before my eyes and saw the final strike, a blow to that one cat- Hawkfrost in the neck. Maybe that's why I felt tense in this place; it's where my past life had died by my own father. Another flash of light came and the scene returned to what it had been before. I padded closer to the water and placed my paw in it. It was cold but- I don't know if it was my imagination; it was also sticky and reeked of blood.

"What in the name of Starclan is going on?" I asked myself

"Hawkkit?" One of the older kits in the nursery, Wolfkit called out. Wolfkit was a dark gray tom with silver eyes flecked with gold. His tail was fluffy and his gaze was steady and intent. He seemed so much mature and older than his age of only a moon suggested. I turned to gaze at the tom and asked

"Wolfkit, why are you here?"

"Well, I saw your nest empty and I got worried so I came to look for you."

"Oh." I glanced at the lake and saw a faint outline of a cat that I recognized quite well. I padded towards the figure and muttered "Hello, Hawkfrost?"

"Huh?" Wolfkit asked in confusion "Who's that?"

"It's nothing." I muttered as Hawkfrost's faint form flickered out from my view. However I could hear his voice in my head

"Now you know, that's how I died. Plus- no one else, except a few that I allow, can see me. It's best not to say anything in public to me."

'What?' I thought to him

"It's hard to explain." He stated

Wolfkit flashed me a worried smile and he jerked his head towards camp "You going?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming." I replied

*Some time later*

I swished my tail back and forth waiting for Firestar to come out and preform my apprenticeship ceremony. Wolfkit- now Wolfpaw was an apprentice under Brightheart. However, no matter what I wished, my destiny would be different. My heart told me to become a warrior yet my head told me to be a medicine cat. I had feelings for Wolfpaw; I knew that to be true, but my medicine cat duties would trump that. No one had been told about my apprenticeship change except- Jayfeather, Firestar and dad. In the end, it was me who blurted out the words that would change everything. I was helping Jayfeather when I exclaimed

"Jayfeather? I want to know- would I be a good apprentice? I mean- I wish to help you as your apprentice."

Jayfeather had thought it over and nodded. He walked out of his den and told Firestar and Brambleclaw. It was arranged- I was to be a medicine cat. I gave up everything that I ever dreamed of. Hunting, fighting, becoming a leader, falling in love and getting a mate and possibly having kits. No- it was all lost to me. I sighed softly just as Firestar walked out of his den, his pelt looking like flames in the sunhigh light. He jumped onto the high ledge and called the clan to a meeting. Wolfpaw grinned and he placed his paw on mine. I faked a smile and started to stare at the ground. Firestar's voice rang out

"By naming apprentices, we show that Thunderclan will survive and remain strong. From this moment on, until she has earned her Warrior Name, this Apprentice will be known as Hawkpaw. Jayfeather, you are now ready to take on an apprentice. You will be mentor to Hawkpaw. Jayfeather, you have shown yourself to be a warrior of defiance and discipline. I'm sure you will pass on all you know to this apprentice."

"What?" Wolfpaw whimpered as I touched noses with my older cousin.

"I'm sorry Wolfpaw, it's just- my destiny is to be a medicine cat."

He smiled weakly and sadly "It's alright. I knew you were always close to Starclan. When you claimed to have seen that Starclan warrior- I didn't admit it but I believed you."

I licked his cheek and purred "I'm sorry it had to be like this."

"It's alright! You can't change your destiny even if you wanted."

Jayfeather motioned me with a flick of his tail. He told me quickly "Tonight's a half moon. We'll leave at sunset to meet the other medicine cats."

Just as the sun began to slip over the horizon, me and my cousin headed out. Jayfeather navigated low hanging tree branches and thorn bushes. We rested on the Thunderclan- Windclan border. Several other cats appeared after a few moments. I hid behind Jayfeather in fear of other warriors. As they came closer, I saw the friendly look in their eyes and I relaxed. Although he was blind- Jayfeather told me who each one was. The Shadowclan medicine cats were a ginger tom with green eyes and another one (who looked old) with brown fur and blue eyes. Windclan's sole medicine cat was a mottled brownish-gray tom with white spots and bright green eyes. Riverclan had two medicine cats. The older one was a dappled golden she cat with dark tabby stripes and amber eyes. The younger one was a pale gray tabby she cat with delicate stripes and blue eyes. Flametail, Littlecloud, Krestalflight, Mothwing (who's a non-believer) and Willowshine respectively.

The older medicine cats talked a bit yet none seemed to notice me- until Mothwing saw me. I saw fear fill her amber eyes and she turned to Willowshine, I heard her urgently whisper

"You know how I said I didn't believe in Starclan? Well I believe in it now!"

"Why?"

"Look!" Mothwing hissed, turning to face me

Willowshine's eyes widened and she murmured "Oh my Starclan. Reincarnation…."

I felt my cheeks blush from the sudden attention and I let out a small squeak. The other medicine cats heard the noise and turned to look at me. Jayfeather moved out of the way to let the other medicine cats see me. Flametail (who is like my cousin, just like Jayfeather) smiled and stated

"Aw aren't you just cute? So this is who Brambleclaw's kit looks like! You know, he wouldn't give many details, not even a name. So what's your name?"

"Hawkpaw."

"Cool, a powerful name!" Flametail exclaimed with a grin

Kestrelflight (who was the only one not talking before) glanced to a stone path and asked

"Should we continue on?"

"Something wrong? I've never seen you so tense."

Kestrelflight sighed "I need to consult Starclan."

We followed the trail of stones and arrived to a large pool just as the moon started to glow on the horizon. Jayfeather instructed the others not to start yet. He glanced at me

"Hawkpaw, is it your wish to enter into the mysteries of StarClan as a medicine cat?"

"It is." I replied

"Then come forward." Jayfeather demanded, I obliged "Warriors of StarClan, I present to you this apprentice. She has chosen the path of a medicine cat. Grant her your wisdom and insight so that she may understand your ways and heal her Clan in accordance with your will. Now drink from the Moonpool."

I walked past the other cats and bent down. I lapped up the icy cold water and let sleep wash over me.

A:N: Well this is the end of the fanfic. Only if this gets positive reviews will I consider making another chapter. Well I want to hear your opinion. Please no flaming.