Disclaimer: Don't own PoTC, or characters therein. Alice is not the same Alice. I just like that name. Don't own Monty Python.
Alice was strolling along the sidewalk of her neighborhood, on her way home from band practice. Alice played the flute. Alice had short brown hair and brown eyes. Yes, she has heard the 'Full of it' joke. She doesn't appreciate it. Alice is somewhat short. Alice is also slightly-err- plump. She eats well enough, but the chocolate calls to her.
That's quite enough about Alice, as I'm sure you could skip that whole paragraph and not really care. Too bad you already read it, then.
Anyway. Alice lived in a nice home in suburbia, Minnesota. Alice wasn't a girl for sports. Alice loved music and art. Alice also loved movies, one in particular:
Monty Python and The Holy Grail.
But, erm, that's not coming up much in this story. Except for random moments when the author cannot be funny anymore.
Unbeknownst to her, Alice is about to become Alice: The Non-Sue.
Cue cheesy music.
Well, anyway. Alice is walking home. Alice stepped on something-or-other. Alice slipped. Alice fell. Alice fell a long way. Alice fell a long, long way.
Alice fell into water.
Alice made a big splash. She opened her eyes, which was probably a bad idea. Salt water burns in contact with people's eyes. Ouch.
No one seemed interested in saving her, so she swam awkwardly to the pier. A group of people was a dock over. Alice heard shouting and a man swung from something that was wooden and had rope hanging from it. Alice was not good with dock parts. Alice was good with movie scenes. "Ohmigawd-whatethefeck-Pirates?"
Alice was not a very articulate person. Alice really wished she was home with a book and some hot chocolate. That would not be the first time she wished for her old life.
A/N: Yes, pseudo-reference. Spot it. I give you… Uhm… I give you Agent Lupeias plushie. Look, it's evil and cute. Whee.