I open my lungs dear,
I sing this song at funerals... No rush.
These lyrics heard a thousand times, just plush.
A baby boy you've held so tightly, this pain it visits almost nightly.
Missing hotel beds I feel your touch.
She could barely breathe. She could barely keep it together. The only reason she wasn't falling apart at the hinges was for Harry's sake. He had a whole lot more going on than she did and it made her feel sick to her stomach that she felt so weak and vulnerable when Harry had the full plate.
However, when he left, it felt like her heart had died. Every night when she cried herself asleep it felt like she was attending her own heart's funeral. She couldn't cry during the day because Harry would hear. He would be worried about her. He didn't need to be worried about anything else. She only cried at night when Harry was asleep.
He slept right above her bunk. Every night when she was trying to fall asleep she would turn over on her back and look up to see his bed. It was empty, but still messed up. She always got irritated at him for not making his bed. It was messed up like he was going to walk back in at anytime, smile that smile of his that made her heart go into overdrive, and hop right back in bed like nothing had ever happened. She could almost feel his touch. I will wait dear,
A patient of eternity, my crush.
A universal still, No rust.
No dust will ever grow in this frame,
One million years I will say your name.
I love you more than I can ever scream.
She waited. She waited for so long because that was all that she could do. She waited for what felt like eternity even though she knew that it wasn't really all that long. She often wondered if she was overreacting and if it was just a silly little crush.
For the longest time it felt like the universe had stood still. It felt like it must've been rusted. Honestly, she couldn't have cared less if it did. She had never felt so depressed. Not when him and Lavender Brown had dated. Not any of those times when her two best friends were in the hospital. Not when she sent her parents to Australia with their memories erased. Not when she knew that she couldn't return to Hogwarts, one of her favorite places in the world.
It felt like nothing would ever be the same. She realized that dust was starting to form on his bunk. That just started a whole new round of sobs. She realized that it was early and that Harry was probably still awake. She tried to stop crying before he would hear her but then she also realized that he was on watch duty. She had seen his shadow move away from the tent, so she saw that he wasn't there, but she still was going to stop crying before he came back.
She hadn't been able to say his name. It was an unspoken rule between her and Harry. Speak of him as little as possible. She didn't feel like she could ever say it again. Maybe in about a million years, but not until then. It hurt too much. Every time she tried, she saw his face and it made her want to cry again.
She had realized long before, back in sixth year, that she loved him. She loved him a lot. More than she could scream. She could scream quite a lot. It was one of her specialties. When she needed to yell at somebody about something, nowadays it was usually Harry, her vocal chords came in handy.
We booked our flight those years ago,
I said I love you as I left you.
Regrets still haunt my hollow head,
But I promised you I will see you again, again.
They had decided to go with Harry, not at the end of sixth year, she found. She realized that when they became best friends way back in first year that they would have to go with Harry. They didn't know that this would happen in first year, but they sure as Merlin's beard knew it at the end of sixth year. They signed up for it willingly and he just up and left.
When he left, before the tears started, she had mouthed 'I love you'. She wouldn't know this until several years later, but he mouthed it too. They had always loved each other. At first, they loved each other as friends. That was in first and second year. In third and fourth year they loved each other as brother and sister. In fifth year they started loving each other, but he didn't realize it until sixth year, when he started dating Lavender Brown.
They both had regrets. Lots of them. She regretted not telling him about how much she loved him earlier. Maybe if she had then they would have had more time to be together. He regretted leaving. If he didn't leave then he wouldn't have caused her all that pain. Those were their biggest regrets.
They both promised that they would see each other again. He left, got caught by Snatchers, and by the time he got away, they had already left, not to be seen for such a long time. She always had faith that he would find them. Eventually, it had just turned into an empty hope. I sit here and smile dear,
I smile because I think of you and blush.
These bleeding hollow dials... This fuss.
A fuss is made of miles and travels when roadways are but stones and gravel.
A bleeding heart and conquer every crutch.
He went to his brother's house. That was the only place that he thought that he could go. Really it was. He missed his best friends. Most of all, he missed her. Whenever he was smiling, his brother came to find, it was because of her. He thought of her quite a lot and whenever he did, he blushed. It was fairly obvious.
He stood in his sister-in-law's garden. He had made such a fuss over the miles that he had traveled with them. Now, he found that he was incredibly stupid. It was like stones and gravel. So simple, but so complex, he thought as he scooped as handful of it up in his hand and let it fall through his fingers.
It felt like his heart was bleeding. His brother told him that everything would be all right, but he didn't believe it. His heart hurt too much. At times, it felt like he needed a crutch just to stand, but he pulled though.
We booked our flight those years ago,
You said you loved me as you left me.
Regrets still haunt your saddened head but I promised you I will see you.
We booked our flight those years ago,
I said I loved you and I left you.
Regrets no longer in my head,
I promised you and now I'm home again, again, again, again, again.
He couldn't believe he was so stupid as to leave. He would also not know until many years afterward, but she mouthed 'I love you' as he left her. That just made him feel all the more stupid. He was a stupid prat, he kept telling himself.
He regretted lots of things. He regretted Lavender Brown. He regretted not telling her how he felt about her. That she was the most important thing in the world to him. He regretted leaving most of all. It made him feel like he should blast his own brains out.
His anti-lighter, as he had begun to call it for Deluminator was way too complicated, had begun to glow. A ball of light came out of it and he followed it down to the garden where it passed right through where his bleeding heart was. He suddenly knew where he was supposed to go. He followed them right until he caught up with them. Once he found them in the Forest of Dean, he couldn't see them so he just waited until someone came along.
That person was Harry. They ended up destroying the Horcrux. They went back to camp. Hermione was there. He had never been happier.
I'm home again.
She started punching every part of him that she could reach. Ron was still happy. He was home.
A/N: Thanks for reading. This was based of the song The Mortician's Daughter by Black Veil Brides. It's one of the prettiest freakin' songs ever! Well, if you want me to make another songfic just tell me the song and I'll work on it. Bye!