A/N: So this is just a little one-shot I thought of as I watched episode 2x12. It's rather sad, unlike most of my other stories. So...Enjoy!
Merlin watched from Arthur's window as people continued to clean up the wreckage from the dragon attack. It had been a month since Merlin had become the last dragon lord, and Camelot was still trying to rebuild. It would take time, but eventually the edifices of Camelot would be restored. But, Merlin thought, the damage he himself had inflicted on someone he loved made it impossible for that relationship to be rebuilt, restored.
He had killed one of his closest friends.
He had killed Morgana.
The Lady Morgana, with her flowing dark hair, porcelain skin, her green eyes full of life…She was gone. She had even trusted Merlin with her secret- that she had magic. Merlin had even tried to help her when she discovered this part of herself. And what does he do with the trust she put in him? He poisoned her. Merlin had to relive that terrible moment every night as he slept. He had held her in his arms, trying to comfort her as she desperately gasped for breath, her eyes wide with terror. He had to kill her to save Camelot, to save Arthur; it was the only way. He could only pray that Morgause had been able to save her half-sister, and that Morgana was alive and well, somewhere.
"Merlin, your silence is more annoying than your ceaseless chatter. What's wrong?" Arthur asked, coming to stand next to his manservant.
"Nothing, sire," Merlin lied.
Arthur could tell that his friend was lying. "You were thinking about her, weren't you?" He couldn't bear to say his adoptive sister's name.
Merlin's head was turned away from Arthur, ensuring that the prince couldn't see the tears threatening to fall. "Yes." He spoke barely above a whisper.
Arthur put his hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure she's safe. We'll find her."
Merlin wondered how much of that Arthur actually believed.
"Come on," Arthur said, the authority returning to his voice. "Another patrol is leaving shortly. We'll be joining them."
Merlin nodded, blinked away the tears, and obediently followed Arthur out of the room. As they walked through the corridor, a ray of sunlight lit up a dark corner, and Merlin saw Morgana standing there, her delicate skin and dark hair gleaming in the light. Her green eyes were filled with warmth and happiness as the distant sound of her laughter echoed in Merlin's mind. He closed his eyes, trying to get a grasp on reality, and when he opened them, the vision of her was gone. Just a mere memory.
Merlin felt his heart break all over again.
A/N: Please review!