The Barbarella Diversion

Ever since he was a little kid, Howard had dreamed of going into space. Lying exhausted and drained after the recent survival exercise was not how he imagined it. He groaned as he remembered the embarrassment he suffered after freaking out at the howl of a supposed coyote outside the tent, only to be met by Dimitri and Mass creased up laughing as he'd rushed straight into them. Some astronaut he was going to be. And he'd been so hungry. He almost couldn't see straight at times he was so hungry – not to mention thirsty. But he'd made it, and wondered if this was how explorers or war heroes felt before the glory of their achievements sunk in – awash with profound relief, yet still shell-shocked at the experience.

His eyes were closing just as he heard a chime coming from the direction of his laptop. Recognising the assigned ringtone, he sat up. For anyone else, he would have ignored it, even Raj, but this was the one person he needed right now. Pulling it on to the bed, Howard flipped up the lid to take the call, and was instantly calmed somewhat by the cute smile and little wave from his fiancée.

'Hi Howie, how are you?' Her voice was soft and gentle; with the adorable squeak to it he loved.

'Oh Bernie, am I glad to see you,' Howard replied gratefully, gazing at her as if he hadn't seen her in weeks.

'Are you OK?' she asked, noting the anxious look in his eyes. 'Did you finish your survival training?'

Howard let go a shaky breath before answering. 'Yeah…'

'So how was it?'

'We were out in the desert,' he managed. 'It was cold, at night…so cold.'

'Oh Howie!' Bernadette bit her lip in sympathy. 'What happened?'

'I thought...we were gonna get eaten by coyotes…but it was just Dimitri and Mass, foolin' around…'

A frown crossed her face. 'Well, they should know better! You look so pale…did you eat enough?'

'No, we had to keep moving, and most of the food was cold…I ate a butterfly…it was so small…'

'Really?' Bernadette was concerned. She'd never seen him like this.

'…and my pee looks like toothpaste…' he finished, the picture of misery.

'Oh, but you passed, right?'

'Yeah…I just…don't know if I can do it, you know? If this was so hard…'

'Of course you can!' Bernadette smiled warmly, stifling down her own concerns for his safety hurtling into the upper atmosphere on top of a controlled explosion. He looked so forlorn though; that she sensed words wouldn't be comfort enough, and she felt herself smile.

'Howie?' she asked. 'You're on your own, right?'

'Yeah…' Intrigue was starting to break through his melancholy.

'OK…I was going to save this, for when you got home, but…I think maybe you deserve it now.'

'What?' Howard leaned forward, interested.

'Just give me five minutes,' Bernadette promised, and turned the screen away. Howard stared at it, wondering what was going on.

Back in Pasadena, Bernadette crossed over to her wardrobe, and pulled out the parcel that had arrived that day. She opened it, then hurriedly wriggled out of her clothes and pulled her new outfit on. Fluffing up her hair, and zipping up the matching boots, she suddenly reappeared on his screen.

'Hey Rocket Man,' Bernadette said, a slow, seductive smile lighting her lips. 'What do you think?'

'Oh, wow, is that Barbarella?' All previous discomfort forgotten, Howard felt his pulse race at the sight of his petite blonde and her capacious bust squeezed into a retro futuristic mini dress pulled tight over every curve.

'It sure is…and you know, you've had such a long journey, all on your own…' Bernadette breathed softly, embellishing her story as she went. 'A long…hard…journey…before you found me…'

'Oh yeah…so hard…' Howard replied, his shorts strained and tight as every part of him responded to her little game.

'And now I've got you alone at last,' she smiled wickedly, running a finger down her neckline and playing at the zip anchored between her breasts. Her chest started to heave as she caught the look in his eyes, and her cheeks flushed with pleasure as she noticed Howard's hand slip lower.

'Got you alone…aren't you my captive?'

She raised her eyebrows suggestively. That sounded an interesting story…

'Maybe I want to win my freedom…and I'll do anything to get it…'

'Well then…' A devilish grin lit Howard's face. 'Get your dress off.'

Bernadette grinned back excitedly. People thought she was in charge in their relationship, and she often was, but relinquishing control could seriously turn her on. No reason to rush though, she thought, as she slowly pulled down her zip, keeping her eyes fixed on Howard's. He followed her every move, growing harder with every click as more and more of her creamy full bust spilled free.

'Oh yeah…' he managed, shifting position as his hand closed around himself. 'That's good…'

Standing up, Bernadette let her dress fall to the floor, and moved back so Howard could take in the sight of her clad in nothing but a silky floral print bra, matching knickers and boots.

'Now what?' she asked, her voice far lower and huskier than usual.

Working himself, Howard didn't reply immediately, then opened his eyes wide at the sound of her voice.

'I want you naked,' he gasped, his breath growing harsh and ragged. 'Now…'

Bernadette felt her breathing quicken in response, and a burning ache inside her demanded the same relief. She let out a little moan and closed her eyes as she slipped the straps from her shoulders, and pushed her breasts up against herself, needing to feel her touch.

'Oh Bernie, yeah…now…please….' Howard was almost incoherent, caught in the ecstasy of his near naked girlfriend caressing herself. It wasn't enough for Bernadette though, and she dragged her damp knickers down her thighs and over her boots, thrusting her fingers inside the soft blonde patch of hair in full view of the camera now, and rubbed at herself frantically, desperate for release.

'Yeah…yeah…ohh..' Howard felt hot creamy stickiness burst forth as he devoured the sight of his little blonde making herself come every bit as hard, soaking the sheets and shaking as she rode out the aftershocks.

For a while, there was no sound other than their breathing, slowly returning to normal, and then they looked at each other, and smiled.

'Feeling better now, Howie?' Bernadette asked, a wide grin on her face.

'Oh yeah,' he replied. 'You're the best!'

'I love you, Rocket Man.'

'I love you too.' Suddenly, NASA training didn't seem so bad.