notes | ugh i keep writing sad fanfics and i don't know why and allegiant still hurts. enjoy.
inside these concrete organs
[one]
"Yeah, I can't wait until tomorrow, when I'm back and you've done what you've set out to do and we can decide what comes next."
"I can tell you that it involes a lot of this" — kiss — "I love you."
"I love you, too. See you soon."
.
[two]
Soon never came.
The only thing that did come was tears that rained from the eyes of one of the bravest men the Dauntless had ever known.
.
[three]
The world was bleak without Tris.
Melodic tunes of bird song became boring and dull and the brightest of leaves on the trees seemed to turn to ash. Jokes lost their funniness and something inside of Tobias seemed to die along with her. His friends tried to console him, but it was no use. He couldn't help from sobbing from the pain of her death. His organs became concrete and they weighed him down until he couldn't walk. All he could think about was how he wasn't there to try and help her. Something told him that she might try something like this, but he never throught she would ever carry through with it.
Christina tells him that Tris would have never wanted Tobias to feel this way and she worked everyday to restore the light in his eyes. She tells him how brave she was and how she didn't do this because she wanted to leave him, she did it to save her friends and family. "But Caleb betrayed us," he whispers back to her. "He should have never survived for what he did to her — to us ."
She looks at him for a moment before responding, "She forgave him, so you should too."
Tobias doesn't speak to Christina for several days after that.
.
[four]
Four months, six days, and fourteen hours after she died, Tobias stands in front of a decorated cake.
Sixteen candles make a circle in the center of the cake and one lone candle stood in the center of the circle. He lights the wicks and watches the flames flicker and come to life before him. He remembers how birthdays were never celebrated in Abnegation and assumes this is somewhere around her birthday. She told him once or twice that her birthday fell somewhere at the beginning of the spring. So there he stands.
He kneels to the ground and becomes chin height with the candles. Closing his eyes, he imagines Tris there with him making fun of his cake. For a moment, he allows himself to smile. And then one by one, he blows them out. Tobias stops when he reaches the lone one in the center. He stares straight at the orange flame and says, "I hope that someday we'll find each other again."
And he blows out the candle.
.
[five]
Two years, one month, and twelve days after she died, he scatters her ashes throughout Chicago.
A bird like her always deserved to fly from the ends of the earth and back.
He hopes that she flies back to him.