Disclaimer: I lay no claim on Guiding Light or any of its characters as well as Steve Wariner's song Holes in the Floor of Heaven
A/N: This is my first GL fanfic. I got the idea after the 1-24-07 episode and Tammy's death. This is only going to be a simple one chapter story. Please read and review.
Summary: The story takes place around 25 years in the future. Sarah is getting married and Jonathan is thinking about how much he wishes Tammy could have been there for Sarah growing up and now for her wedding.
Chapter 1
He stood in front of the church with tears in his eyes. He couldn't believe that his little girl was getting married. Jonathan thought back to this day, the second one he had, the only one that really mattered, the one where he said his vows to the only girl he would ever love - Tammy. It still hurt every time he thought about how she had been violently ripped out of his life all because of those bastards. No, bastards wasn't even harsh enough... those, those damn Spauldings.
Thankfully they had gotten what they deserved. Both Lizzie and Alan were in a mental hospital for the criminally insane. They would never hurt another human being as long as they lived.
Yes, Sarah had grown up without a formal mother but she had Jonathan and his whole crazy family including Cassie and Reva. They both loved that little girl and kept their promises to Tammy all those years. They had always been there for Sarah all her life. They were there for her laughs and giggles and they were there through all the tears she had shed too. They were her advice-givers when the situation was over Jonathan's head and they had supported the two everyday since that horrible day.
Then there was Beth. Jonathan never forgot how she had gone against Alan and given him Sarah so Tammy could see her for one last time. He pushed for her to be the only one of the Spauldings to see Sarah closer than from a distance. She was there and acted like almost another mother for Sarah. She refused for her to grow up deranged and psychopathic like Lizzie had. "There has to be one good child with Spaulding blood running through their veins," she always said.
And it happened. Sarah had grown up a sweet loving girl with some of her father's bad temper sometimes but that just proved she was definitely her father's daughter. It was from him too that she learned how to love so purely and honestly. Now she had found someone to share that love with - all that love she had grown up with.
Today was the happiest day of her life. She was actually marrying her high school sweetheart, Ryan Sanely. Sarah couldn't believe it. Now she knew what her dad was always talking about whenever her told her about the day he married Tammy. Tammy. Now there was a person she would have loved to have met. All her life she heard stories about her, if not from her dad then they came from Aunt Cassie or Grandma Reva. She knew that Tammy died when she was only a few months old and that she had died after saving her dad. If not for this girl, Sarah wouldn't have a dad. Then where would she be… crazy and screwed up like her mother? Thank God she would never have to know.
Nevertheless, Sarah couldn't help but wonder if Tammy would have been like a mother… a real mother. Not just an older more experienced woman like Aunt Cassie, Grandma Beth and Grandma Reva but a mother who would have been there when even these women couldn't be there.
She wished that Tammy could have been there for her wedding. She wanted her to give her the tips and pointers of how to make a marriage work, from a mother's point of view, like her friends had. She wanted Tammy there to help her with her hair and her dress. She wished Tammy would be there walking down the aisle right in front of her and smiling and encouraging her. It might seem weird to anyone else that she would want someone she'd never really met but in her mind, Sarah had met her. With all the stories she'd grown up with, it was like she had met her and oh how she wished she would be there. Then she remembered and smiled - the holes in the floor of heaven.
It was a song that she had grown up hearing. Grandma Reva always played it for her and said that whenever she was lonely or said and no one was there, all she had to do was remember that Tammy was looking down on her. That she could never really be alone because Tammy was there. She'd say, "even though you can't see her Sarah, she can see you and help you through whatever troubles you're having."
It was nearing noon and the ceremony would be starting soon. Sarah was in the room in back of the church getting ready with the help of Cassie, Reva and Beth. Reva glanced out the window as she was smoothing over Sarah's hair and fitting on the veil. "Sarah," she said with tears in her eyes, "Look outside." It was misting rain.
She did and smiled with a few tears rolling down her face. "She's here isn't she Grandma? I can feel her. She's so happy for me isn't she?"
"Yes she is sweetie," Cassie put in with some tear of her own, "she'd be so proud of you right now. I'm so sorry that you never got the chance to know her. She was a great young woman."
Sarah smiled again. "But I do know her Aunt Cassie. All of you have told me so much about her and I've always felt her there for me when I needed her."
At that minute Jonathan came in. "You ladies about ready?" Then he say the tears rolling down their faces. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing Daddy," Sarah said, "we were just thinking about Tammy."
"Oh man I know. I wish she could be here for you. She'd be so proud."
"Dad she is here, remember? The holes in the floor of heaven? She can see us and look," she gestured to the window, "she is happy for me."
Jonathan smiled, then burst out laughing. "You're right Sarah. Now come on Tammy wouldn't want you to be like me, late for everything. Let's go get you married."
"I'll second that," Beth said. And with that they all walked out the door and led Sarah to her new life.
A/N: I know I didn't put the song in and that was the plan. It was much more effective without it I think, how about you?