TITLE: "Reconnection" 1 / 5
PAIRING: Hephaestion and Phainder. LadyLight. Alexander. Some companions and many OCCs.
RATING: PG
CATEGORY: Alternative Universe.
DISCLAIMER: I do not know the people involved, no harm intended, everything is product of my imagination, but I would not mind sharing my life with the blue-eyed god.
WARNINGS: Mention of past MPreg.
NO BETA so all mistakes are mine.
FEEDBACK: comments are love! Yes, please any kind of them will help me to improve my writing or leave it forever.
Author's note: This is the sequel to "A miracle called Phainder". Drabbles from my Phainder universe will be included and some of them modified to fit the whole story.
CHAPTER 1: "Little by little"
As soon as Phainder and Hephaestion got to their farmhouse, the boy went directly to LadyLight's arms and hid his face in her lap.
"What happened?" she asked worried while her hands caressed the blonde tresses.
"The King is my Papa's friend" he whispered.
"What did you say?" she asked surprised, not knowing how the little boy could have made that connection.
"Alexander was bringing him here and he told him that I was his chiliarch" Hephaestion said approaching them.
"By sweet Aphrodite" she said and hugged the little boy a bit tighter.
"Why didn't you tell me about him?" Phainder asked, with his head resting on his Nani's lap.
"I told you a lot about him, son. In fact, all your bedtime stories are about him and the time we spent together" Hephaestion said and put his hand on the blonde mane, so similar to his father's.
"But you never said he was that special to you" Phainder replied a bit angry.
"I didn't think it was important for you to know that" Hephaestion replied sincerely.
"May I go to bed now?" Phainder asked in a whisper.
"Of course, put on your night clothes and I'll be there in a bit" Hephaestion said.
"I prefer if Nani comes with me tonight" Phainder said and Hephaestion just nodded.
The man was s shattered, not only his own son did not want him near but also Alexander who had fled as if the very same Hades were running after him.
He let himself fall onto the rocking chair and hid his face behind his big hands. He felt his world falling apart when he thought he had everything under control; he could not believe that at the simple mentioning of his former title his son had been able to put two and two together and now Phainder hated him for hiding the special relationship he had had with the king. Hephaestion did not know what he would do to make him up for that; he really hoped LadyLight could help him.
In the meantime, LadyLight was tucking the little blonde in his bed under a light cover; it was warm but nights tended to get a bit cold sometimes. She was about to leave the pensive boy alone when he asked:
"Why?"
"Why what?" she asked.
"Why did he lie to me?"
"Your father did not lie to you, he might have only not been specific about who he was talking about" the woman said.
"But he is a liar anyway" he said and pouted.
"So, am I a liar too? I told you that your father and his friend saved me when I was a child. That friend was king Alexander, however in that time he was just the Macedonian prince" she said while running her long fingers along the long wavy hair.
"Oh Nani" he said and wept.
"Why don't you try to sleep and then tomorrow, when you are calmer, you can talk to your father if he is ready?" she said while drying the stray tears that had escaped from the blue eyes.
"Why won't he be ready?" Phainder asked curiously and much less angry.
"Well, it was shocking for your father too; he had not seen his king for six long years" LadyLight explained and saw how Phainder was also thinking about that.
"Can I have a hug, please? I'm feeling sad" Phainder said in a whisper.
"Of course, my master" she said and hugged him tightly and long against her chest.
Minutes later, the little boy sighed loudly and lifted his face for his goodnight kiss. The small woman was more than eager to give it because it meant that he was feeling better. She arranged the cover, fluffed the pillow and blew out the candle.
When she went back to the kitchen, she found Hephaestion with teary eyes and such a sad expression in his face that she could feel her heart breaking into a thousand pieces.
"What will I do now? Both of them hate me" he murmured.
"Nobody hates you, Phai, don't be so melodramatic" she said.
"They both ran away from me" Hephaestion insisted.
"Phainder is only five; he doesn't understand what is really happening. He only thought that you had lied to him on purpose. As regards Alexander, I can assume that he was too shocked to react in a more civilized way" she said while kneeling by Hephaestion's side and resting her hand on the man's knee.
"What about now?" the former General asked while letting his cyan eyes take comfort from the only steady and confident person in his life.
"Well, I convinced Phainder to talk to you as soon as you are ready because you have been shocked too. With Alexander, well only you know what to do" she said.
"What would you do if you were in my position?" he asked trying to get a sincere answer.
"Oh no, don't ask me! You are the only one who can solve it" she said.
"But I have always appreciated your advices, they are always so accurate and logical" he said.
"Flattery will take you nowhere this time, sire" she said seriously.
"Please?" he said and gave her his puppy eyes because he knew she would not be able to deny him anything.
"Well, I'd analyze my feelings first, then I'd think where I want them to take me without forgetting that I have a five-year-old son who can lose everything he knows and has" she said plainly and slowly so Hephaestion could understand her well.
"You are right. I still have deep feelings for Alexander, I love him, but Phainder comes first and I don't know how or what Alexander feels about me" he said clearly.
"Well, I think he is still in love with you. Phainder had told me about their conversations and he always speaks about his partner with love and respect" she added.
"Well, we will see what happens next. First, I have to speak with Phainder and explains why I have hidden that part of my life" he said.
"Will you tell him everything about Alexander?" she asked a bit nervously.
"No, he is too young to understand it all but I will let him know that it is not bad to see him" Hephaestion said and sighed loudly.
"That will work in your favour; he was afraid you would forbid him to see him again" she added.
"I'd never do that" he said fast.
"I'm happy to know that. Well, let's go to bed, it had been quite an emotional day for all" she said and patting her friend's shoulder, she went to her chamber.
Hephaestion followed LadyLight's advice but he could not rest at all. He twisted and turned all night long and when he finally fell asleep, his rest was riddled with images; some were very old, when both Alexander and he were children and then teens. He also dreamt about their many times together as partners and lovers and how their relationship had gone cold with the appearance of Bagoas and the introduction of all the new and exotic customs to their plain and common soldier life. He also dreamt about Alexander's reaction, in connection to Phainder and the dream became a nightmare when a furious Alexander took Phainder from him to be raised in the royal palace.
Hephaestion woke up with a cold layer of sweat covering his skin and his heart galloping inside his chest. He got up and had a bath, knowing that he would not be able to sleep again that night. Anyway he remained in his bedroom, thinking about what he could do.
Meanwhile, some stadia away from the farmhouse, a white-haired man paced nervously from one side to the other of the royal chamber. He had been unable to sleep; he could not take the image of Hephaestion out of his head and the revelation that Phainder was his former lover's son. He could now understand why he had always felt drawn to the little boy and why he reminded him of Hephaestion as a child. He was the spitting image of his father except for the blonde hair and he realized that there was not a single feature of Drypetis's in him and how strange that was.
The mere thinking of that female name brought pain to his heart; she had been able to give Hephaestion what he couldn't, stability, a home, a son … what Alexander did not remember at the moment was that Phainder had told him he had never met his mother at all.
Alexander went on thinking and realized that Hephaestion had achieved what he could not and wanted the most, an heir, and it seemed as if he would never have one. He had asked Roxana to free him of their marriage and the spiteful woman had agreed after taking with her so many riches that she would be able to live comfortable for the rest of her life. He had lately learnt that he had no heir of his own because she had been drinking a concoction that prevented her from getting pregnant.
He had also got rid of Bagoas during his campaign to Arabia. The young eunuch had been the main reason of his separation from Hephaestion, he had taken a place that was not his but Alexander had also been blind in that moment and unable to see how much damage he was causing to the only man he had loved so dearly.
Seeing Hephaestion today had been very painful. He could feel the deep and wide rift between them and he was afraid of not being able to find a solution. He really wanted to be friends with Hephaestion again, as it was impossible for them to go back to their former relationship as his brunette was a family man now and he was no longer His brunette.
Alexander decided that he would ask for a meeting with him and he really hoped they could clear the air between them and find a place between what they had and what they could have had.
Having reached to that decision, he let himself fall onto the massive bed and dozed off for two or three hours.
The following morning arrived too quickly for the people in the farmhouse. LadyLight was up at dawn and ready to act as normal as it was possible. She started to cook some biscuits for her masters and the tempting smell woke the youngest one.
Phainder appeared in the kitchen, rubbing his small fists against his eyes to get rid of the remnants of sleep. His sniffling made LadyLight turn round and found him with a tiny smile gracing his lips; his eyes still had that look of sadness of the previous day but she did not say a thing about it.
"Joy to you, my master" she greeted him knowing that his title in her mouth made him smile.
"Joy to you, Nani. How are you?" he asked getting closer to the petite woman.
"I'm fine, just busy baking some awful oatmeal cookies with raisins" she said hiding her smile.
"You would never cook something awful, even if you tried hard" he said and hugged her waist from behind.
"Thank you, my boy. Ready to have some breakfast?" she asked, dusting her hands on her apron.
"I will wait for the cookies" he said.
"I have some already cool on that tray" she explained.
"Well, in that case, can I have some milk with my cookies, please?" he asked politely.
"Of course, my master. Have a seat and I will take everything to the table" she offered.
Quick and heavy footsteps entered the kitchen and a long sigh was heard afterwards.
"What's the problem, sire? LadyLight asked, alarmed at the expression on Hephaestion's face.
"I went to check on Phainder and when I found the bed empty, I panicked" he said.
Phainder looked at him surprised and said:
"Why did you panic?"
"Because I thought you had run away" he confessed.
"Why would I do that?" Phainder asked, confused.
"Because you are angry with me" Hephaestion said.
"I'd never do that to you, papa, even if I were angry" Phainder said.
"Thank you, my son and forgive me" Hephaestion said and knelt by his son's chair.
"What for?" he asked.
"For not trusting you with all the truth about the king; for thinking that you may abandon me and go to him" Hephaestion said and could not hide a sob.
"But you are my father" Phainder said and turning around in his chair, he hugged his father as tight as his small arms allowed him.
"By Zeus, you are the best son a father could ask for. Let's finish your breakfast and then we can talk more" he said and after kissing his son's forehead, he stood up.
LadyLight was looking at the scene and then smiled widely and she immediately knew that everything was going to be all right.
The talk between father and son was a long one. Hephaestion started telling him how he had met the king at his grandmother's house one cold evening when he was eight and how they had shared everything since that moment onwards. He told him about their studies under Aristotle's tutoring; his first campaign under the command of king Phillip, Alexander's victory against the Sacred Band of Thebes and the sadness that had invaded both of their hearts after it.
Hephaestion also confessed that Alexander and he had had the same kind of relationship that Stephanos and Nikos had and then he stopped speaking to let his son ask any question he wanted.
"So you loved the king and the king loved you back" he said.
"Yes"
"Why aren't you two together" he asked curiously.
"Because he fell in love with someone else and then I fell ill so he went on the Arabian campaign alone and now he is back" Hephaestion said.
"So, he is here and you are here too. What are you waiting for, papa?" he asked, not understanding why both men were still alone.
"Well, he has a wife now and he will soon have children with her" he added.
"No, the king has no wife, he's alone, like you" Phainder said.
"How do you know?" Hephaestion asked curiously.
"Because he never mentioned a wife, only his lover and that is you" Phainder said.
"Well, if you say so. You can still see him but try not to mention me a lot, he needs to go on with his life" Hephaestion said and was leaving when a question made him freeze in the spot.
"Your wife was not my mother, was she?" he asked.
"No, she wasn't. Your mother is a very special person" he added.
"Will you ever tell me about her?" he asked.
"I will. I promise that I will tell you everything as soon as you can understand it well" Hephaestion said.
"Can you take me to the palace later? I want to see how the king is doing" Phainder asked in a whisper.
"LadyLight will take you, she is visiting Thais and Andromede" Hephaestion said.
Father and son went back to the kitchen and the brunette nodded towards the petite woman who sighed lowly in relief. The three of them went back to their normal activities until it was time to go to the palace.
As soon as Alexander saw Phainder in the palace, he felt his heart burst with happiness because Hephaestion had not kept his son away from him.
The little blonde greeted the former blonde and asked curiously:
"You are not old so why is your hair white?"
"I really don't know, it was blonde like yours some years ago" he explained.
"My Nani said that maybe it is because you are always nervous and sad. I can ask her to make some medicine for you; she always cures me" Phainder said seriously.
"Fine, ask your old nanny for some medicine for my nerves and sadness" he replied smiling.
"My Nani is not old, sire. She is … she is 29 and she is beautiful" Phainder said amorously.
Alexander did not know what to reply. His Hephaestion was living with two young and beautiful women so he was sure that the brunette would not want to have anything with him again. For the first time in his life, Alexander felt old, weak and impotent to get what he wanted the most.
"Good for you" Alexander added after some time.
"I will go and see my cousins now, Sire" Phainder said and ran towards Perdicas's chambers.
Alexander felt as if he was supporting the whole weight of the world on his shoulders. He headed to the palace kitchen where he found his cook Lena talking to a young woman who he did not know who she was.
"Joy to you" he said and without lifting his eyes, he picked up a piece of cake and bit it on the honey filling.
"You still have a sweet tooth, Xander" the unknown woman said and that immediately made him lift his gaze to find a pair of well-known hazel eyes looking into his mismatched ones.
"Sunshine, what are you doing here?" he said, enveloping her in a warm and tender hug.
"I brought my young master to play with his cousins" she said on purpose and waited for the king's reaction.
"Oh … you are Phainder's Nani" he said.
"Yes, I am" she replied proudly.
"So you are one of the women living with Phai" he whispered.
"I am the only woman in the house but I am not living with Phai" she answered clearly.
"But, what about Drypetis? Where is she?" Alexander asked surprised at the revelation.
"She went back to her family as soon as you left Ecbatana" she replied.
"Why?"
"I don't know, you'll have to ask Phai" she answered.
"Really? And he'd tell me; he, who did not dare to look for me when I was back and that we have only met just one and by chance" he said, a bit upset.
"Well, you did not come to see him either" she added, a bit upset too.
"I didn't think he would want to see me. He had his own wife and son and I was just a former lover, a reminder of the life he left behind" he said in a whisper.
"By Zeus, men can be so thick sometimes. Well, I have to go, I promised Andromede that I would help her with Perseus" she said and after patting his arm, she went away.
LadyLight's revelations were creating chaos inside the king's mind. The turmoil of feelings and thoughts were giving him a strong headache but he forced himself to calm down and try to understand what was happening.
He poured some fresh cold water in a goblet and took another honey cake. He wanted to think and an empty stomach would not help him at all, neither would help the rich red Macedonian wine he used to drink a lot.
He sat at the kitchen table under the attentive and loving look of his royal cook. Lena had been with his family for as long as he could remember and she had always taken care of all his needs. When a plate with several caramel figs and a cup with warm milk appeared by his side some time later, he realized that he had been deep in his thoughts for too long and his face surely showed all the signs of needing some of his comfort food.
He smiled at the wrinkled face and went on thinking about all the new things he had learnt about Hephaestion. First of all, he no longer had a wife, he had not had one for six years and LadyLight assured him that she was living in the same house but she was not sharing his bed and no other woman did.
Then he suddenly realized that LadyLight must have been wrong about the date because Phainder was five so Drypetis must have been living with Hephaestion to bear his child. Something was nagging at the back of his mind and he finally remembered that Phainder had told him that he had never met his mother so maybe she left when he was a little baby but if she left Hephaestion, why didn't she take Phainder with her?
There was something bad about the times and he was ready to find out what that was.
He suddenly got a second thought, maybe Hephaestion had taken a mistress and she had been the mother, and that was why Drypetis left. However, he could not imagine Hephaestion doing that as a newlywed man and, even if that had been the case, he wondered why Drypetis had left him; maybe she was feeling jealous or insecure.
If that was the truth, he wondered where the mistress was. She must have died giving birth to Phainder or died after, that was the only explanation he could think. No good mother would leave a baby behind, not even his own mother, who was a true snake, had done something that atrocious to any of them.
Alexander's headache was getting stronger so he decided to go for a walk; he needed some fresh air. While he was walking, the laughter of children led him to the women's garden. Thais, Andromede and LadyLight were sewing and looking after the four children. As soon as they discovered the king's presence, they ran to him and taking him by his hands, the children led him to the stone seat. They immediately sat on the grass, facing him, and asked him to tell them some stories. The king cleared his voice, began to speak, and had the four children mesmerized with the feats of the heroes in his stories. Phainder looked at Alexander with so much love in his sky-blue eyes that it made LadyLight's heart hurt and she promised herself to do the utmost to help them be a family soon.
The visits to the palace continued and even though the former chiliarch did not see the king, he always knew what was happening in the palace.
Little by little, his solitaire life had been invaded again by stories about his king and his mind had started to fantasize how it would be being together again.
Little by little , Hephaestion let the icy cover around his heart melt and let himself think about Alexander, not only as the father of his son but also as the true and only love of his life. He released all the love he still felt for him and it was as if a dam had been broken, flows and flows of love and happiness filled his heart and body and confidence was again a common feature in his life.
He realized that he had to be more open-minded and enjoyed life; maybe life was giving them a second chance and he was more than ready to take it.
Hephaestion was resting his tired eyes after a long day giving his lectures at school. When slumber was nearly coming to him, he eavesdropped a conversation outside his chamber window. He identified Phainder's little voice, which was quite clear in his speaking, and the second voice belonged to LadyLight, his faithful friend and the child's nanny.
Hephaestion got up from his bed, approached the window and listened to them carefully:
"So Phainder, are you ready to dictate me your letter?"
"Yes, thank you very much for helping me, nanny. My handwriting is not so clear and some letters are difficult to draw" the little boy confessed, blushing.
"You are welcome, my little master" the petite woman said, caressing the boy's cheek. "So tell me, who is the letter to?"
"To King Alexander" the boy replied happily.
"And what is it for?" LadyLight asked, after having paled a bit.
"To invite him to my sixth birthday party" the boy explained.
"Ah! Have you asked for your father's permission?"
"Yes, well, he told me to invite anyone who makes me feel happy or want to have near me in this special day. And the king makes me very happy and I love him, not as much as I love my father or you, but he is near to my heart" the little boy confessed, amazing the woman sitting beside him.
Hephaestion could not stop the stray tears that ran along his cheeks. He could not doubt any more that his son was a very special person and his request had brought back all the thoughts and feelings he still had for his Xander.
LadyLight wrote the letter and promised to send a messenger to the palace as soon as possible. Before doing that, she looked for Hephaestion, told him what had happened and she saw a tiny spark of glee in his cerulean eyes. Maybe things were better than she thought.
The day of the party arrived. Phainder was surrounded by friends and presents; there was joy and happiness in the air and suddenly most children went silent. Phainder turned round to see who had arrived. His little face was crowned with a wide smile and he ran quickly towards the man, who picked him up in his arms and hugged him tightly.
Alexander put Phainder down and gave him his gifts: a midnight blue cloak and a small dagger, which should be used only when his father was with him. Phainder took Alexander's hand and led him to the table, where Hephaestion was sitting with Ptolemy, Thais, Perdicas, LadyLight, Andromede, Nikos and Stephanos, among others. He greeted them and was greeted back. The atmosphere was a bit tense so Thais started with her talking and everybody felt more relaxed.
Whenever Hephaestion looked at Alexander, he found the king looking at Phainder so intensively as if he wanted to burn the image of the boy in his retinas or as if he did not want to lose any of his movements and reactions.
Sensing Hephaestion's eyes on him, Alexander turned round and smiling sheepishly, said:
-"You have raised an amazing son, Hephaestion"
- "Thank you, Alexander. He is very special."
- "I can see that. He is well educated, with excellent manners. He surely brings you too much joy."
- "Yes, he does."
- "It is strange what I feel for him: pride, peace … love" the king confessed, nearly murmuring.
Hephaestion looked at him gently and Alexander could see a crack on Hephaestion's hard mask.
"Please, don't misunderstand my words, but I love him as if he were my own. I'm sorry" Alexander said, lowering his eyes and hiding his face in his hands.
Hephaestion approached him, lifted his head and cupping the royal face with his slender hands, he whispered softly:
"Don't be sorry, because he is your son too"
"What are you saying? How is that possible?" a frantic Alexander asked.
"Because our son is a miracle, a true gift from the gods" Hephaestion replied while caressing with his thumbs the king's cheeks.
"I don't understand" Alexander said and his mismatched eyes showed clear signs of distress and hope.
"I want no more secrets between us, Alexander" Hephaestion said seriously.
"Me neither" he agreed with him.
"Let's meet tomorrow, we need to talk. But now let's enjoy our son's party" he said and left a chaste kiss on the king's lips.
TBC