You Can't Always Get What You Want

You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you might find
You get what you need

- Rolling Stones

Chapter One

Lazing on her belly under the windswept porch, Anna-Marie Howlett released a grumpy huff from her five-year-old lips. Her big brother was real late and that made him rude. He was a big, old, hairy, rude boy. It wasn't nice to be late, it was real, real rude, and she was gonna tell him off loads and then send him to the corner 'cause he was always late and rude.

The southern spitfire poked impatiently at the dry mud she was using as a bed, her lower lip trembling when her mama and daddy started shouting again. She lifted her head off her dusty-white arms and scowled at the dirt living under her fingernails. They were always fighting and she didn't like it none. Her boring teacher at school said it was naughty to fight, but nobody had told her mama that because she was yelling like some loud folk.

As the sharp sound of a plate breaking made her jump, Anna's gaze snapped back to the dirt road when she heard the dull roar of a bike. Her face lit up like a real big searchlight and she scrambled excitedly to her bare feet, leaving her hiding place behind. Her late, late and real late brother was here. "Jimmy!" she cried, scurrying over to the man on the bike.

Logan's sun-beaten face broke into a grin and he climbed off his old as dirt Harley. "Hey, darlin'," he greeted, crouching down and waiting for his customary hug. The little girl jumped into his arms and he pulled her to his chest. Damn, he missed this kid like hell. "How's my baby sister, huh?"

Anna rested her pale cheek on his shoulder, looking miserable. "Mama and daddy are fightin' again an' Ah'm sad," she admitted sulkily.

"Yeah, I can hear them," he said, frowning as he scooped up his rucksack and carried the girl to the house. "But don't you worry about that, kiddo. You don't have to be sad, they won't be arguing much longer. Do you know why?"

She shook her head, wearing a pout that clashed with the curiosity in her emerald eyes. Nobody could stop her mama and daddy from fighting unless they were magic like the blue boy in Aladdin. "Why, Jimmy?"

"'Cause I'm the Wolverine," Logan growled playfully, tickling her side and climbing up the rickety stoop. He grinned at the amused kid in his arms and dragged his leather boots across the mud stained porch, his parents on his mind. "And I'm the best at what I do, darlin'. You just remember that."

The southern girl giggled, poking at her brother's fat boy cheek with her tiny finger. He was scratchy, so she poked him again, and again. "That's real silly!"

Smirking, he let himself in the house. A wall of warmth and familiar scents greeted him and he sighed. It was good to be home for a short visit, even if the olds weren't real pleased with each other right now. "It ain't silly, Kiddo. That's one of my names. I'm that good at what I do, I get more than one name to keep, you see."

Anna shook her head stubbornly, folding her arms and looking like her mama did when she was mighty mad. "Nuh-uh, ya naughty ol' boy! Ya name's James, but Ah like Jimmy better 'cause Ah do."

"Course you do, darlin'," he chuckled, setting her on her feet and kissing her forehead. His eyes shot around the room, his heart heavy when the sound of threats being made came from his mother's mouth. "You wanna go play while I talk to ma and pa in the kitchen?"

"No," she muttered, peering up at him though a wall of flyaway hair and sulkiness. "Where's mah real good present?"

Logan raised an eyebrow at the girl and started to unzip his bag. "That isn't the polite way to ask, Anna-Marie," he sighed, giving her a look. "Try again and I'll see what I can magic up."

"Can Ah have mah present, please?" Anna pleaded, using her big girl pout, her eyes swimming with hope. "Please, Jimmy. Please, please, please an' loads more please stuff!"

"What makes ya think I got you a present?" he teased his sister, chuckling at the thunderous look on her face. Digging through his bag, he pulled out a stuffed teddy bear with a friendly face and downy green fluff. "Hey now, how did this get in here? I don't remember packing it. You think it snuck it when I wasn't looking?"

Nodding, she bounced up and down like a Springer Spaniel, taking the bear and hugging it to her chest. "He's mah new bestest friend! Ah'm gonna love him forever an' ever 'cause Ah love him."

"Glad you like it, darlin'." Logan ruffled the girl's two-toned hair, eyeing the kitchen door and shaking his head when he heard his pa trying to calm the situation down."You think of a name and I'll be right back. We can head into town for ice cream later once I've finished unpacking, okay?"

"Yeah, ice cream!" Anna dumped herself on the floor, sitting cross-legged and beaming at her new best friend. "Ya hear that? We're goin' for ice cream an' that's real good. D'ya like ice cream, Mister Bear Folk?" She waited for him to answer, leaning forward and pressing her ear to his stitched on mouth. "Ah do, too. Jimmy says Ah've gotta name ya, but Ah ain't got no good names. Have ya got any?"

Grinning at his kid sister's chatter, he frowned and shouldered the kitchen door open. The room was just like he remembered it, full of dark wood and bad memories, and to top it off, his parents didn't even notice his sudden appearance because they were too busy yelling. He sighed at that, hating the fact he was getting involved in their fight. If there was something the Wolverine hated, it was domestics of any kind. But he was doing this for Anna, so he cleared his gravelly throat loudly; knocking on the door as he entered the room.

A surprised John Howlett, looking embarrassed, stepped forward, the anger fading from his unremarkable face. "James," he exclaimed, holding out his hand for his son to shake. "We didn't hear you arrive." He was a kind man and had worked hard all his life to provide for his family. His days spent on the farm had left him with a keen physique and he was as fit as a male half his age, but his light brown eyes were beginning to look tired and worn, and his dark hair was now peppered with grey flecks, leaving the nosiest of the town's population to wonder if his wife's illness was finally wearing him down.

Logan bit back a snort at the sudden change in his father's scent, and he shrugged, shaking the man's hand firmly. "I can be quiet when I want to be," he offered as an explanation and glanced at his mother, his muscles tense when he laid eyes on her. "Ma," he greeted, nodding at the woman.

Elizabeth Howlett, slender and auburn-haired, blinked at her son for a moment or two, confusion cluttering in her pale green eyes. She scrutinised the figure in front of her, and gasped, rushing forward and hugging her son exceptionally tight. "Oh John, you came home. You heard me calling your name and you came home!"

Logan didn't bother correcting his fragile mother. His burly arms circled her frame, holding her gently and treating her like he had always done because she was as breakable as those china plates she liked to throw. He half-wondered if his pa could handle this without seeking some outside help, but he didn't want to interfere too badly, feeling like it wasn't his place. "Yeah Ma, I came home to you," he sighed, rubbing her back as she started to cry. "I'll always come home whenever you call."

Ten years later…

"Ya a real good listener, Daddy," Anna remarked, tucking her hair behind her heavily pierced ears. "Anybody ever told ya that? Nah, Ah bet they ain't. Folks are far too busy runnin' away tah stop an' talk tah ya." She sighed heavily, and gazed off into the distance, the clouds beginning to darken on the horizon. "Looks like a storms comin' again. Ah know ya never liked the rain much, but Ah love it loads."

It was real funny, but no matter what age she reached, she loved to shoot the breeze with her daddy. You know, just kick back and relax, talk about trivial shit and even the more important things in life like what ice cream cake to buy for dinner. Her daddy was the greatest when it came to that sort of thing.

"Ah'm worried about mama," she admitted quietly, ripping a handful of grass from the patch of land she was now calling her chair. "She's gettin' worse an' Ah don't know what tah do." She chewed her lower lip and slowly nodded when she started to think up an answer her daddy would probably run with. "Yeah, Ah know Ah should call Jimmy, but they ain't talkin' no more. Shit happens, daddy, ya know it does. Shit always happens with our family an' Ah dunno why."

Scowling, the girl watched the horizon for the longest time and chose to shake her head, the lonely silence getting to her. The only sound that gave her comfort was the distant rumble of thunder. "Ah'm sorry, daddy. Ah know ya don't like meh cussin' like a mighty sailor. It's just… Stuffs pretty tough right now an' Jimmy ain't around no more. Ah miss him loads, but he's gone."

Anna sat up on her knees, angrily tearing out the weeds her fingertips were brushing over. "Ah do have some good news, though," she said, trying to lighten things up as she did her weekly cleanup. "Ah aced that damn math test. Ya could say Ah kicked its ass real good. Ah told mama about it an' everythin', an' Ah think somewhere inside her she was real proud about it, too." Finishing up, Anna dumped the last of the weeds in the bucket and brushed her muddy hands on the sides of her denim shorts. "There ya go, clean as a whistle." She smiled slightly at the phrase. "Ah can't believe Ah just used that, it's one of yours. Guess Ah must've picked it up from ya."

Standing, the teen pressed her hand on the top of the gravestone, a distant look in her heartbroken eyes. "Ah'll always take care of ya, daddy. An' ya one lucky fella havin' a bed under the stars." She rubbed at the stone under her palm, blinking away the tears. "Yep, ya real lucky an' everythin'. Ah was lucky too tah have ya in mah life for fourteen-years." The girl couldn't believe it had been twelve months already and it made her even more miserable when she thought how bad things had become since he's gone away. "Just don't tell anybody Ah said that, mah reputation wouldn't like it none." Giving the gravestone one last loving pat, she picked up the bucket. "Take care, daddy. Ah'll see ya next weekend," she whispered, swallowing the lump in her throat. "Give God hell, ya hear?"

Each step Anna-Marie took from her daddy's resting place was torture. She would have given anything in the world to have him back – for him to be right here with her and her mama. She wanted to hug him and tell him she loved him, but that would never happen, not now, her daddy's heart had stopped working and then he was gone.

Huffing bitterly, she dumped the bucket on the back porch and kicked off her dirt clad sneakers, watching them land in a heap on the step that led into the kitchen. "Mama!?" she called, hopping inside the house and closing the door behind her. "Where are ya? It's started rainin' out there, but Ah cleaned up daddy before God started with the cryin'!"

Hanging her green jacket on the back of a chair, she traipsed through the old farmhouse. The place was still plagued with happy memories, she could feel them sometimes and she was ashamed to admit it gave her warm, fuzzy feelings. Hand on the railing, Anna jogged up the stairs, passing photo upon photo of her daddy on the walls. Who was she kidding? She loved that fuzzy stuff that tickled her belly; it almost made her days worth it when she could get lost in her memories.

"Mama, ya decent?" she asked, knocking impatiently on the woman's bedroom door, half expecting her daddy to appear and scold her for being real loud. "C'mon mama, Ah want some company downstairs, it's too quiet. Ya know Ah don't like bein' quiet none."

Letting herself in the room, Anna sighed. "It's near lunchtime, ya gotta be real hungry 'cause ya didn't eat ya-" Standing in the doorway, her stomach turned and she panicked, running to the broken body on the ground. "What did ya do?! Mama, Ah need ya, Ah need ya!" she screamed hysterically, her legs buckling underneath her. "Ah need ya, mama." She stared at the shotgun in the lady's cold hand, and at that moment, as she dropped to her knees, a devastated Anna started to sob. "Ah want ya tah stay with meh. Please, come back, please!"

Authors note:

So, I like an AU. Actually, I like them a hell of a lot. I also love to blow up timelines and comic canon. Come to think about it, any type of canon will do if I have a stick of dynamite and a lighter handy. This idea is based upon an RP thread I dreamt up and will be very family orientated and peppered with discipline - spankings, groundings - that type of thing.

- Cigars