Author's Note: First, I realize that I've got two other stories in progress, and I am working on them, and trying to update them all regularly. This one, this one, just kept bothering me today and I had to start it. Is it worth continuing?

I've known. I've known for quite a while actually. I must admit it took me a little bit of time to figure it out, but I did, and when that epiphany happened I almost cursed my stupidity. All it took was for Jerrica to have one hell of a head cold. It was starting to settle into her chest, and she was coughing so loudly from her office I could hear her at the other end of the hallway, and that was when I decided that it was time for her to go to the doctor. And because she is Jerrica Benton she fought me tooth and nail. Said she was fine. Said that it was nothing just a tickle in the back of her throat. She even tried to tell me that she had just swallowed her own spit wrong. None of which I bought, and she knew it. Eventually she gave in and packed up shop and allowed me to take her to the doctor. I went in with her, because I wanted to make sure the doc got the real story and not just the glossy version that Jerrica would tell him so he wouldn't make her stay home and rest, and the doc checked her out, gave her some antibiotics and told her to go home and sleep, sleep for a while and not just cat nap. That was not what she wanted to hear. Well, let's just say I ended up staying with her to make sure she didn't try to escape, or try to do work, or try to go downstairs and help with the nightly homework the Starlight girls had. And just in case you don't know Jerrica….let's just say, that it was more work than any bouncer at any nightclub in all of LA had ever done-in their entire career.

It took a few days of antibiotics, orange juice, and rest before Jerrica was amongst the living again, and when she was, she was insistent on going to Starlight Music and taking care of the business that she had neglected while being sick. All of us tried to get her to stay home one more day, because she still looked and sounded bad, but we had cooped her up long enough and she would have no more of it. And, like a good boyfriend, I took her. Granted, I took her under the condition that we would stay no longer than four hours. She glared, but agreed. And, while she worked on paper work, I worked on mixing another band's music. I was halfway through the second track when I heard Jem talking to someone down the hall, and I noticed that she sounded a little under the weather. I stopped what I was doing and looked down the hallway and there she was, talking to Kimber. Kimber looked a bit frustrated but I dismissed it, because Kimber and I have roughly the same short fuse and it doesn't take much to make either of us frustrated, and when she saw me coming she made excuses and left the two of us alone.

"Hey Jem! I haven't seen you in a while." I said and hugged her by way of greeting. She hugged me tightly, which was her norm, but she was warm to the touch, feverish warm, the same warm that I had felt when I touched Jerrica earlier in the day and told her she shouldn't come in to work today.

She smiled and said, "Oh hey Rio! I've just been a little under the weather, and I needed to come in and check on something that Jerrica called me about." And it was when she said "Jerrica" that I knew. It was the inflection combined with the congestion, it sounded exactly the same way when she had walked up to the pharmacy counter and said, "there should be a prescription for Jerrica Benton". It was like a light went off and like a truck carrying a load of bricks hit me all at the same time. I just KNEW that it was my Jerrica inside that pink hair and glamour, and it took all I had not to gasp, not to go "Jerrica is that you?" I'm really quite proud of myself that I didn't just lose it right then and there. I kept my cool and let Jem talk to me about whatever she was talking about, I can't recall a word she said, I was too busy trying to keep my face neutral and not to reveal I knew her secret.

Finally, she stopped talking, and a response must have been needed and she said, "Rio?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, what?"

"Are you okay?"

"Just tired. I've spent the last couple of days up making sure that Jerrica got rest."

Jem smiled, and I noticed for the first time that it was Jerrica's smile, she put a hand on my shoulder and kissed my cheek. "You're a good boyfriend."

"I try." Shock must have kept me from blurting what I knew and from going nuts, it must have allowed me to continue this completely frivolous conversation in a somewhat normal manner.

"I talked to Jerrica and she said that if it was okay with you, I'd like you to be my date to the benefit tonight."

"Shouldn't you get some rest Jem? You don't sound any better than Jerrica."

"I'm okay. I can't cancel any more appearances, Rio. People count on me."

Those last four words were Jerrica's. Everytime I tried to get her to rest, or to allow herself to be vulnerable she came back with those words:

Rio, I can't let the girls down. The count on me.

Rio, I can't let Starlight Music fall into Eric's evil hands because people count on me.

Rio, I can't break down, I can't lose it, Kimber needs me, she counts on me to be strong.

The woman I was standing in front of, whom I'd felt guilty for kissing, whom I respected for her talent and her strength was my Jerrica. How in the hell had I missed it for so long?

"Rio? Will you?" she asked again looking somewhat concerned.

I shook my head and forced a smile. "Yeah, sure. I'll go."

"Thanks Rio you're a doll!" She kissed me on the cheek again and waved goodbye.

How am I supposed to keep it together tonight? How am I supposed to keep this secret?