This is a song fic, with about 5 Queen songs or so. But basically a basic day on Enterprise. i hope you like. Please reveiw!
And none of it is mine! Whoot-whoot! Yeah, big whoop.
I've paid my dues -
Time after time -
I've done my sentence
But committed no crime -
And bad mistakes
I've made a few
I've had my share of sand kicked in my face -
But I've come through
Sang the stupid alien that dared face off with the Enterprise. He was now sitting in the brig. He figured there was nothing else to do but comply with the authores's whims so he bang to think back to earlier that day…
He was one of those psycho aliens, sorry I mean psychic aliens. Actually both. Anyway he had the power to float around in space and whatever I want to use for a plot device.
So of course he contacted the Enterprise before destroying it, mistake one. His call was answered by Uhura who said, "Alien Freaks Hotline, how may I help you? Pickup is at the second galaxy to yo right."
"Uh, yeah. Girlfriend—"
"Yessssssss?"
"You need to stop that. Anyway I'm going to destroy your—"
"Captain, it's another one."
"Ship, um, what are you guys going?"
"That's right captain, code stinky bleu cheese."
Then this stupid alien heard from the back, "On screen. Now, you stupid alien let me clarify." Suddenly, using his eye plot device power he could see what was going on, on the bridge. A disco ball had dropped down and Spock had joined the Captain in singing:
We are the champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
'cause we are the champions - of the world -
Now Kirk sang his own verse:
But it's been no bed of roses
I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls -
You brought me fame and fortune and everything that goes with it -
I thank you all -
No pleasure cruise -
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race -
And I ain't gonna lose -
For the last verse the whole bridge crew sang:
We are the champions - my friends
And we'll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
'cause we are the champions - of the world
Stupid Alien, this was name, shook his head. He was so confident he could defeat these dorks so he gave them two hours before his onslaught began. Stupid move, stupid alien, what do you expect?
Anyway in these two hours two things happened.
First off Spock went to his quarters to be alone; there he had another emotional break down. So he sang, and later when the tapes were found he would blame it on another alien disease. But anyway he was singing:
You say black I say white Bicycle bicycle bicycle
You say bark I say bite
You say shark I say hey man
Jaws was never my scene
And I don't like star wars
You say rolls I say Royce
You say God give me a choice
You say lord I say Christ
I don't believe in peter pan
Frankenstein or superman
All I wanna do is
I want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
In all reality he was jumping up and down on a computer. Meanwhile, looking for a plot line Kirk was singing:
Can anybody find me somebody to love? I work hard every day of my life
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief,
Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?
Back to the crazy man on the computer:
I want to ride my bicycle
I want to ride my
Bicycle races are coming your way
So forget all your duties oh yeah!
Fat bottomed girls they'll be riding today
So look out for those beauties oh yeah
On your marks get set go
Bicycle race bicycle race bicycle race
Bicycle bicycle bicycle want to ride my bicycle
Bicycle bicycle bicycle
Bicycle race…
And now it was time to be logical and go save the ship. At the same time Kirk had found a sub-plot, I mean babe. She had on a beautiful backless Star Trek style dress, and was very important to the plot. IT GIVES ME MORE ROOM FOR QUEEN SONGS! So anyway after one quick smoochie she left him for someone with more 'commitment.' So now in this scene Kirk is mopping around and, why don't you guess?. So here is what was sung:
Caviar and cigarettes She's a killer queen
Well versed in etiquette
Extraordinarily nice
Gunpowder, gelatin
Dynamite with a laser beam
Guaranteed to blow your mind
Anytime
Drop of a hat she's as willing as
Playful as a pussy cat
Then momentarily out of action
Temporarily out of gas
To absolutely drive you wild, wild…
She's all out to get you
Okay to save the reader from sheer boredom, or to save you from laughing to hard (which ever) I'm just going to skip to—
Wait! Back in the brig Stupid Alien was singing;
I want to break free
I want to break free
I want to break free from your lies
You're so self satisfied I don't need you
I've got to break free
God knows God knows I want to break free
I told him to shut up and now we are back to the past or what ever. Anyway the two hours were up. The alien was going to blow up the ship with a really cool power that will blow up the ship, unless the Bridge crew has anything to say about it!
Well since this is STAR TREK the good guys won.Duh, don't ask me how but it involved a big white neon green flash of Kool-aide, and cheese.
So now we come to the present moments were Stupid Alien was in the brig. He figured since this whole story was a musical he again, sang:
I'm going slightly mad I'm one card short of a full deck
I'm going slightly mad
It finally happened - happened
It finally happened - ooh oh
It finally happened
I'm slightly mad
Oh dear
I'm not quite the shilling
One wave short of a shipwreck
I'm not my usual top billing
I'm coming down with a fever
I'm really out to sea
This kettle is boiling over
I think I'm a banana tree
Oh dear
Upstairs on the bridge party mode was in full swing. One hero was raised on their shoulders as they sang. The one who had saved the entire ship. There was clapping and stomping as they sang:
Buddy you're a boy make a big noise We will we will rock you Buddy you're a young man hard man We will we will rock you Buddy you're an old man poor man You got mud on your face We will we will rock you
Playin' in the street gonna be a big man some day
You got mud on yo' face
You big disgrace
Kickin' your can all over the place
We will we will rock you
Shoutin' in the street gonna take on the world some day
You got blood on yo' face
You big disgrace
Wavin' your banner all over the place
We will we will rock you
Pleadin' with your eyes gonna make you some peace some day
You big disgrace
Somebody better put you back in your place
We will we will rock you
Yes, the stupid alien had been defeated by a red-shirt, hero of the Enterprise. This of course made Kirk jealous, but he was off with another babe. Spock would have told them that it was all illogical and to stop but he was going crazy in his quarters. Meanwhile, McCoy was partying.
END
SMILE ON FELLOW TREKIES!
I BELIVE IN THE HEALING POWER OF MY TRIBBLES FOR THEY SHALL DESTROY THE EVIL THAT IS YOGA! (actually yoga only sucks when you have a cut on your hands like me)