Him. He's just like any other 17 year old American boy. Except he's dead; but he's not. He's alive; but he's not.

You'd think it easy to explain the love of my life, but it's not. It's damned near impossible. I'm not making any sense am I? No, I didn't think so.

Let's try this again…

Edward Cullen is my boyfriend. He is a vamp… uh, he has a 'disease' – Vampirism. It's not common, and you can only catch it if you are in direct contact with his – or any other vampire, for that matter – venomous coated teeth. I stay clear of those, though kissing him is one of my favorite pastimes.

But I digress.

He promised to stay with me forever – for real this time. No more of that leaving for your own good shit he threw at me last year and he's agreed to change me, promising me anything I want. Yeah, right. I'm asking for one tiny, teensy little thing and it's not as if it's gonna hurt Him – physically at least – I'm the one who'll have to endure pain. Ugh, pain. But still, the man is adamant not to give in to my, used to be, request and is now a, feeble at best, demand. I want to have sex. I want to have sex whilst still human. I want to have sex and not think of my burgeoning bloodlust. I want to have sex… well, that's pretty much it. I want to have sex.

Stupid vampire boyfriend!

Friday.

Charlie went on an extended fishing trip; of course Alice, Edward's younger sister, convinced Charlie to go, promising that she would stay with me and we would go… wait for it… SHOPPING! *Shiver* You'd think her being able to see the future would allow her to see my dread and horror and complete and utter lack of enjoyment when it comes to such an activity. However, this time – and only this time – it's for a good cause.

Operation "Seduce Edward 'aka my prudish vampire boyfriend'" is a go.

"Alice, really. I don't feel comfortable with leather… Anything!" I said exasperated when she once again chose a leather corset with little leather bows, with matching boy shorts. I seriously began to doubt her special abilities. "Please, anything else…" I could just imagine the chaffing.

"Bella, you are no fun whatsoever. I am only trying…" she trailed off, her eyes took on the familiar vagueness and unawareness. She was having a vision. "Oh!" She exclaimed, excitedly.

"What? What did you see Alice?" I whispered frantically. Had Edward finally decided to give in? Had he changed his mind? "Alice!"

"Sorry Bella, the only thing you will get out of me, will be a new outfit… No leather I know." She walked off into the lace department. I sighed and groaned internally. We finally settled, well Alice choose, a midnight blue – Edward loved me in this color – baby doll nighty with matching thong. If Edward doesn't appreciate all my effort, well then, we will be having a serious conversation.

Friday night came and went and Edward was a no show. He went hunting with Emmett and Jasper. Hopefully his brothers would be able to convince him of just how pleasurable the act of love making could be. Not that I would know, of course; Alice and Rosalie enjoyed, thoroughly, recanting their experiences with their respective spouses whilst in the midst of the throes of passion. And they enjoyed it even more each and every time I blushed a deep red, when they went into detail – I'll spare you the gore. Let's just say, Emmet's size is very accurate. *Shiver*.

Saturday morning I was woken up by sweet peppered kisses along my left temple. I sighed, "Edward". I inhaled deeply and his honey scent invaded my senses and I was home, complete. And so totally ready to get it on. I smiled and opened my eyes, staring into deep butterscotch pools. God, this man is beautiful. Why he chose me? I still don't know. But I'll be damned, no pun intended, if I let him go – ever.

"Did you find any mountain lions?" I ask knowing his preference.

"Really? You ask me this first thing when you wake up," he rolls his eyes shaking his head slightly. "No, how are you? I missed you…" he trailed off suggestively. I snorted very un-lady like.

"Of course I missed you; you were away from me. I wasn't whole. But I knew you were coming back so it was ok. Plus your sister spent the day with me." I smiled at him widely with a mischievous grin. Edward cocked his head to the side suspiciously.

"And what did you two do, may I ask?"

"What? No, how are you? Or I missed you?" I teased back.

"I missed you, too, of course. But don't try to change the subject here. What did you and Alice do, Isabella?" Oh shit, he said my full name. Hmmm, so sexy. Cue wet panties or shorts in this case.

"We went shopping. That's all; nothing major. It was ok, not complete torture." I smiled at him again, attempted to be demure and failed exceedingly well.

"When I got home, Alice was reciting Romeo and Juliet. She was deflecting," he said pensively. "What exactly did you buy, Bella?"

"Just some stuff I needed. Clothes, books… nothing major, like I said."

"If you say so," Edward sighed deeply. "It's times like this I truly wish I could read your mind," he ran his fingers along my hairline and gently rubbed my temples. How very frustrated he gets. Welcome to the club, buddy, I thought sarcastically, once again glad I am the exception to his gift. I simply smiled at him and got up and out of my bed to go to the washroom.

"I'm gonna take a shower," I say as I headed for the door. "There's always room for one more." I smile at him over my shoulder suggestively. Edward's eyes darkened then. His breathing erratic, though unnecessary.

"Bella," he whispered raggedly. "You know my opinion on this subject. I will not put your life in danger; I will not give fate a fighting chance." He concluded firmly. I sighed deflated, and grabbed my towel and bag of toiletries and headed to the bathroom; once inside I turned the shower on.

The water is hot against my skin. Smoothing and calming. It massages my sore muscles. I wash myself using my strawberry and vanilla body wash; I run the cream all over my body, slowly making sure to reach every spot I can. If only, I thought wistfully, Edward had joined me I would not have a need to contort my body in weird ways to wash my back. He could have run his big, strong hands over my back, pulling my hair to the side for better coverage. He'd pour some of my body wash onto his hands and rub them together to ensure the cream is warm and not coldly contrast against my already warm skin. His hands would begin to rub the cream at my shoulders; they would gently massage them and knead them whilst the cream spread over me in a soothing and familiar way. Edward would then slowly run his hands down to the middle of my back and wrap his fingers around my waist and coat my skin there and play with my spine, oh so gently, with his feather light touches meant to tease and drive insane. After having coated this area of my back, he would wander, tentatively of course, to my lower back and lower still, the body-wash having become a mess of lather all along my back. Spreading as much body-wash as is left on his hands, Edward would then get on his knees and lather my love handles and bum kneading the muscles and planting an ever-so-soft kiss upon it.

I felt myself get incredibly wet as I daydreamed of Edward's touch on my body, on my skin. I drifted the hand that had been lathering the foam on my shoulders to my right breast and tweaked my nipple. I moaned at the sensations. I did the same to the left. My right hand slowly trailed further down until it found its destination. So warm, so wet, despite the running water of the shower. I slowly allowed my fingers to graze my slick folds and moaned deeply at the feeling of excitement that bubbled in my abdomen. My fingers ran back and forth, back and forth, getting to know their mark, their end destination. My hips bucked as I pressed my index finger against my now swollen clit and applied slight pressure, and flicked back and forth.

"Edward," I moaned. "Yes, please."

I felt myself getting wetter and wished, not for the first time, it was Edward's hands on me instead of my own. So I did the next best thing – I pretended, again.

Edward's left hand parts my slick and soaking folds as he slowly pushes a finger from his right hand inside me. He stills to allow me to get comfortable; when I buck my hips against his finger, Edward begins to thrust it in and out slowly, the friction divine. He presses his thumb against my clit, flicking it with his vampire speed, back and forth; back and forth.

"Edward… God, baby, yes. Like that," I moaned out loud to let him know I'm enjoying his ministrations. "Hmmm" I groaned deeply from my chest.

Edward eases another finger into my wet, warm and tight pussy. I start to contract around him. He slows his thumb and thrusting fingers making the tight coil I feel in the pit of my stomach pull back. I thrust my hips against his hands trying to get the momentum and friction back to the way it was mere seconds before.

"Edward please, don't tease me," I begged on a moan. "I need more."

Somewhere in the distance I registered the creaking of the door, but I was too far gone to pay it any mind. I knew better than to believe it could be Edward.

I allowed a second finger to enter me and felt myself stretch to accommodate it. I imagined Edward moaning my name on a whisper as my juices ran down his fingers and hands. I imagined I looked down in time to see him lick them off.

Edward slowly and gently begins to thrust his fingers inside me once more and I nearly come the second he starts.

I held back as best I could but moaned loudly instead.

"Edward, harder, faster… please!" I nearly screamed as I felt the walls of my pussy contract around his long and sensuous fingers.

I felt a slight breeze caress my skin and welcomed it as a reprieve from the gratifying yet, scalding heat which had overtaken my body. I heard a growl followed by a moan and someone inhale deeply. I opened my eyes and nearly lost my balance at the sight before me – a naked Edward. It was all I could do to remain vertical, for I still had my fingers in my aching pussy.

"Edward," I said perplexed. "What-"

"You are playing with fire, little girl," Edward growled. He took a step closer to me and I inched back against the wall; not in fear but in anticipation. How had this happened? When had he walked in to the bathroom? Was he going to play? "Don't you know I can hear and smell you from your room? Don't you know that I heard everything; did you think you could play me like this; that you could fool around with yourself, tempting me, and have nothing happen to you in return?" he cocked his head questioningly.

"Edward, I just wanted-" I began, but again he interrupted me.

"I know exactly what you wanted, Isabella. And now, whether you want it or not, you have it," Edward growled. He gracefully fell to his knees and replaced my hands with his. Edward inhaled so deeply, deeper than ever I saw before. "Hmmm… so delicious. So perfect; so mouthwatering." He whispered before his tongue darted out of his mouth and crashed against my hot swollen clit. This time, I did scream.

"Ed-Edward…" was all I could get out for his tongue was working me at high speeds. I came hard and thrashed against his tongue. Edward was however, relentless and continued his ministrations on my clit. He plunged two long freezing fingers inside my drenched pussy and began to move them in and out so fast I thought I would faint at the frantic pace. I only came again, and again; one mini climax after the other, building to something bigger. Never stopping until I had to push his mouth and fingers away from fear of losing consciousness.

"Bella?" Edward's voice sounded strangled and scared. As if a fog had just been lifted from over him; Edward was freaking out. I placed both my hands on either side of his face and brought his lips to mine, in a kiss so tender, so sweet, and so passionate he had no way of resisting. He kissed me back with a renewed fervor. "I'm sorry… I'm sorry I allowed myself the profligacy (A/N: shameless dissoluteness, reckless extravagance, great abundance) to behave in such a deplorable manner," he said without looking at me. "Please forgive me." Edward's eyes implored. I sighed.

"Edward, there is nothing to forgive," I began. "What we did was beautiful and so amazing. You brought me to new heights of passion I had not known possible. If not for you, my life would be a starless sky (A/N: Twilight)." I smiled at him, using his once professed words. "Edward I love you. All I want is to be with you in every sense of the word. I am yours; I want you to take me. And that is not a bad thing." I looked at him trying to get my point across.

I shivered as I waited for his answer; the shower water had long gone cold and we were still under the waterfall. Of course, this made no difference for Edward and his body; however, the moment he saw me shiver, he looked at my lips. I was suddenly air borne.

"God, you must be freezing," he said as he turned the water off. He stepped us carefully out of the shower and wrapped my big white fluffy towel around my body, rubbing my arms for friction to warm me. He walked us back to my room at human speed and we simply stared at each other. Once inside, he gently set me on my feet. I hugged him close and inhaled his heady scent; he made the moment perfect by hugging me tighter, closer to his body, which I think he forgot he was naked, as it was not his usual cadence. I smiled at him and leaned in closer.

"I'm fine, you're here with me. How could I be anything but fine?" my rhetorical question went unanswered as we were both abruptly tangled in a searing kiss. "I love you," I whispered against his gentle, suckle, sweet tasting lips. I wrapped my arms around him, causing the towel which had been wrapped around me to fall to the floor. Edward's eyes roamed over my body and I saw the minute change in them. The infinitesimal change in their depth and color; my God, he was perfect.

"Bella, I love you… more than anything."

"Make love with me Edward," I whispered looking in his eyes, never wavering from his intense gaze. "Make me yours."

"I might hurt you," he implored; he begged me to understand. I did, but he didn't. Edward did not understand the strength he had. He did not see how much strength he put forward by simply being next to me every day. That inexorable love that ultimately impeded him from allowing any harm to come to me, or others; he did not see his soul as clearly as I did, and that is what made him so trustworthy of my heart, soul and eventually, life. I was not ending my life to be with him as he saw it, no; I was beginning my life to be with him. I was entering the realm I belonged in; I was becoming worthy of him.

"You may have the physical strength to stop a van from crushing me or for stopping a sadistic vampire," we both winced as we unwillingly remembered my close call with James. "But you do not, in the least, have the emotional strength to hurt me. It would hurt you more and I know you are unwilling to allow either of us to hurt, for your pain is mine and vice versa," I cocked my head to think of what I just said. "We, my love, are an unfathomable conundrum." I smiled and kissed his lips once more. It quickly escalated; Edward didn't pushing me away as he normally would have. We were making progress.

"I trust you Edward, with my life. You will not hurt me. You will pleasure me, as I will pleasure you. It will be perfect, the moment we come together. There is nothing on this earth that can deny this. Not even you and your lethargy," I said smiling.

"Bella," Edward whispered. "I – Lord, but I want you. I am just so frightened of being the cause of your discomfort. Of ever hurting you… again." He said, finally, most likely thinking of my eighteenth birthday party. He looked pained, it was a horrible thing to see him this way.

"Thus far, everything went fine; what happened in the shower, you didn't hurt me. In fact, you gave me the most undeniable pleasure I have ever experienced. You brought me joy. You made me feel like I was flying and you, sweetheart, make my life worthwhile. I trust you; the question is do you trust yourself?"

We stood still, just looking at each other. Looking into the other's eyes, attempting to decipher what would happen next. Edward must have found what he was looking for, for he placed a gentle finger under my chin and place the most loving kiss upon my lips and breathed deeply before looking to me again.

"I love you… I love you… I love you…" He chanted over and over as he led us to my bed and slowly laid us down. He hovered over me and took in my naked form. I had never seen the expression on his face before: lust, pure, unadulterated lust. Edward, inch by inch, allowed some of his weight onto my body and I relished in the feel of him so close to me. Never had anything felt so right.

"I love you…" my words were cut short by Edward's mouth was on mine.

Words were no longer needed; they were not uttered or professed. They were nonexistent. Right then, all there was was our heavy breathing and my erratic heartbeat. I loved this man with everything I was.

As Edward lay above me, I ran my hands up and down his back whilst kissing him with everything I had. I scrapped my nails along his shoulders and had the pleasure of hearing him hiss in appreciation. I allowed my tongue to trace his lips tenderly. Edward had forgone the lead in our passionate paroxysm. I was glad to take the lead for once. I wanted to show him just how much he meant to me, just how much I believed in him and how much fun this was going to be.

I bit Edward's bottom lip, and sucked it into my mouth eliciting a moan followed by a deep growl that rumbled form his chest. It vibrated against my chest. Our chests were barely touching, however, I pulled on Edward to come closer to me and he complied. The moment his chest came in contact with mine, my breasts were ablaze. I felt the freezing temperature of his body on mine and it scalded me to the bone. I moaned at the feeling. Edward must have enjoyed the sounds I was making because he, very lightly, brought his hand to my right breast and palmed me gently, eliciting yet another mewling sound from my mouth. He pulled back to ensure that his actions were accepted; I simply braided my finger in his hair and guided his mouth to my nipple.

The sensation of his cold tongue against my warm nipple was indescribable. My nipples puckered for him instantly. I ran my legs and feet up and down his legs as his tongue and hand continued with their ministrations. I was floating. I felt as if I would explode into orgasm when Edward bit down on my nipple. He dragged his teeth over it and pulled slightly, never breaking the skin. He then moved to my left nipple and mimicked what he had done to the right. It felt beyond perfect.

I felt my juices run down my thighs as I searched for friction. I could feel Edward's arousal against my stomach and I wanted him so bad, just a little lower I thought. I ached to feel him hard and cold inside me.

Edward began to place kisses along my forehead and temples. He kissed my lips passionately, with more passion than he ever had before but that I still knew he stored deep within himself for fear of hurting me. Our eyes locked, when he pulled back. We said nothing, just gazed at each other, allowing the love to run freely between us and claim this moment as its own.

Edward's kisses continue their descent; my collar bone was treated to a mini make out session with Edward's tongue; he continued lower and began to pepper kisses all over my flat stomach, no inch left un-kissed or un-licked. My breath hitched when he continued lower and lower and inhaled deeply; his eyes darkened further. He smiled at me reassuringly and I nodded my understanding.

A bright white light exploded behind my eyes, my hands clutched the sheets beneath us and my back arched off the bed, the moment I felt Edward's tongue flicked my clit and then licked me from one end to the other of my soaking folds. I felt him moan and groan, and the rumbling it caused on the lower part of my body was enough to have me gasping for air and silently screaming out his name over and over and over again. I tugged on his hair and pulled his face closer to my wet pussy to keep him there while I rode the endless waves of the most powerful orgasm I had ever had. Finally, when I was able to catch my breath, I pulled his face to mine and buried my tongue in his mouth tasting myself on him and relished in the fact that it turned me on even more than I already had been. Edward's probing fingers made their way between my legs and began to tease me. I felt him slip one finger in and out of me a few times before another finger joined that one; his thumb played with my clit, relentlessly.

"Edward…" I gasped and whispered. "Please, now. I need you now… love you..." I looked in his eyes to make sure he saw just how true and how much I meant my words.

"Bella… I am yours."

Edward positioned himself between my legs and held his strong cock firmly at my entrance. I couldn't help it; I was overcome by the extreme need to feel him in my hand. I took hold of Edward's cock in a firm grasp and pumped him several times, reveling in the magnificence of him. My free hand went lower and cupped his balls gently tugging at them until he groaned and they tightened in my grasp.

"Bella, I need…" his breathing was just as ragged as mine was. "I need to be inside you, I need to feel you around me… please." Edward was begging me, now, I realized. I let him go from my hands and pulled his head down to mine and looked him deeply in the eyes.

"I want you, more than any one or thing. I am yours and my life is nothing without you. Please, make love with me." I said, smiling slightly as I ran my tongue over his lips once more before being consumed by his entire mouth.

I once again, felt Edward position himself where he needed and slowly, slower than should be possible for a vampire, he entered me. When he met resistance, my virginal barrier, we both took a deep breath knowing the pain that would surely accompany the moment of ecstasy that was this instant. Edward never looked away from my eyes as he thrust the last bit into me and accepted my virginity.

The pain was excruciating, and tears formed and rolled down my temples as Edward held himself statue-like still. The coldness of his member helped ease the pain. While he waited for me to get accustomed and comfortable with his engorged member, Edward placed small kisses all over my face and shoulders and collar bone. When the fiery pain began to subside, I tentatively rocked my hips against Edward's. I heard him hiss in pleasure, and did it again. He took that as my cue, that I was fine and wanted more. Much, much more; I wanted his all.

Slowly, Edward began to thrust in and out. Slowly pulling out until just the head of his cock was left inside me and then, pushing back in just as torturously slow. I met him thrust for thrust, and soon our slow sinuous dance was no longer enough.

"More, please Edward, I need more," I begged.

"Bella, Bella, Bella…" Edward chanted my name, almost reverently. As if I was his saving grace.

I felt the tell tale signs of my impending orgasm; my stomach began to tighten and my legs began to tremble so badly I had to wrap them around Edward's waist. Oh boy, if that hadn't brought him deeper. Edward's thrusts were losing their steady pace, he began to thrust deeper and faster and slightly harder at an erratic pace and I knew he was as close as I was.

I felt butterflies form in my stomach and a bead of sweat roll down between my breasts. Edward licked at the bead, and thrust once, twice, three times more before we came together in the most pleasure inducing high I had ever had the satisfaction of feeling. Darkness consumed me for an instant as the walls of my pussy began to clench around Edward's hard cock and milking him for everything he had. I felt his cock twitch inside me and he spilled his oddly warm, seed in me with one final thrust and grunt and moan of my name.

We lay there, in each other's arms whilst we attempted to reign in our breathing. My heart felt as if it were trying to flee from my chest so fast it beat from both exertion and complete and utter happiness and contentment.

Feeling Edward's weight on me, and feeling him still inside me as we tried fruitlessly to regain control of our bodies, brought forth the understanding of the meaning of my life. I was meant to be here, and meet and fall in love with Edward. I was meant to be in his life, and we were meant to be.

As he pulled out of me, we each grunted with the feeling of loss. I felt empty for a fraction of a second, before Edward pulled me in his arms and pulled my sweat stricken hair away from my face and kissed me passionately and longingly and perfectly.

"I love you so much… thank you for being meant for me. This was the best moment, next to you agreeing to be my wife, of my life. I have never felt this complete, in all of my existence. Even when I was human," Edward said before planting kisses anywhere his lips could reach in our current position of me being wrapped in his tight and refreshing embrace, helping my body to cool down.

"I love you too, so much. This was perfect… thank you." I kissed his lips before something tugged at my mind. I giggled and laughed.

"What's so funny Miss Swan soon-to-be Mrs. Cullen?" he asked, curiously.

"Well…" I began, sober once more. "When Alice and I went shopping she bought me a little outfit that was supposed to help convince you to make love with me," I looked at him. He was still slightly confused.

"Okay…" Edward prodded.

"Well, it was apparently an unnecessary purchase seeing as it never even left the bag," I began. "A shame too. It was so cute; you would have really loved it."

"Well…" Edward said cautiously. "There will always be next time. You could wear it then, if you'd like." He looked as if it were possible to blush then he would have been.

Wait… what?

"Next time?" I asked in a small voice, not wanting to push my luck. I really hoped there would be a next time. I honestly wanted Edward all the time. Edward laughed out loud at the, no doubt, hopeful expression on my face. He leaned in and kissed the tip of my nose, before nuzzling it with his.

"You have unleashed a beast Bella," he said so low I had to strain to hear his words. "I could not be without you before and now it is sure to be impossible, and I refuse to have it any other way." He said with finality. I still hadn't heard the words I wanted though so I repeated my question a little louder, a little bolder.

"Next time?" I asked.

"Next time, Isabella." He answered.