I, Courtney, bruised easily. Not physically, I played a lot of sports/activities and could take a lot of hits, but not emotionally.

When people called me names or talked badly about me, I might act like it didn't hurt me, but really it left these deep cuts in my soul.

So many people had made those deep cuts in my soul, Gwen, My parents, people that talked about me, and Duncan, escpically Duncan.

When he talked about me or made jokes, I acted like they didn't hurt, sometimes they didn't, but other times they left bruises on my soul.

The deepest cut, the nastiest bruise that I ever got to the soul was when Duncan cheated on me. We later talked about it and got back together, but that doesn't mean that the painful wound had been stitched up. It was still bleeding. I still cry when I think about all the pain I went through. *Sniff*, I still hate thinking about it, about how much I had wanted to just die. How I died on the inside. :'(

Then there was my parents. They didn't leave a cut as deep as Duncan did, but they came pretty close. They had always wanted me to be perfect. They pushed me to be the best. I had done countless after school sports/activities, like soccer, swimming, violin, guitar, dance, gymnastics, ice-skating, Girls Spring Hockey, Summer Lacrosse. Of course not at the same time, but through out the year and week. Then there was all the clubs I was in, like Student Council, Art Club, French Club, Debate Team, etc. I was even voted Homecoming Queen, the only person in grade 10 to ever do so.

Them there was all the advanced classes I took, I got all A's and a couple of B's. Then there was all the Art things I had done and the community services. I did a lot of those things, because I liked and enjoyed them, but I did all of them to impress others, mostly mt parents. To show them that I was as good as my sister. I even took ice skating 3 days a week during the winter, because my mother had done it when she was younger.

I never felt like it was good enough. Like I had to be better than I was.

I really wanted my parents to say "You've been doing so great. We're proud of you, you don't have to impress us."

Then there were people at school, that didn't like me. I'll admit I'm not the most likeable person. I always have something to say, everything I did had to be flawless, I could be conceited, and I was judgemental, but people still liked me. That didn't mean that people didn't talk about me. When people talked meanly about me it hurt like hell. I had wanted to scream, yell, cry, and punch walls, but I never let anyone know that, because I couldn't look weak.

Then there was Gwen. We had became somewhat close friends, then she betrayed me. I had never had a close friend do something like that to me and it hurt like knives. Sure, she apologized, and her and Duncan broke up, but it still hurt. Our friendship would never be the same again, that is if we decide to build one again.

There where so many other things that left bruises. Like when I wasn't the best., when I started to hate myself. When I was critical of myself and I didn't feel good enough. There was a lot more.

My life could be pretty great, most of the time, but stuff like that made it not seem worth anything.

There where things in my life that eased the pain.

Like when Duncan held me in his arms

When my parents told me they loved me.

When people at school weren't mad at me and liked me. When they told me how great I was.

These things may have eased the pain, but they never completely took it away.