"True"
By Ryan Cabrera
I wont talk
I wont breathe
I wont move till you finally see
That you belong with me
You might think I don't look
But deep inside
In the corner of my mind
I'm attached to you
I'm weak
Its true
Cuz I'm afraid to know the answer
Do you want me too?
Cuz my heart keeps falling faster
I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
Its time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true
You don't know what you do
Every time you walk into the room
I'm afraid to move
I'm weak
Its true
I'm just scared to know the ending
Do you see me too?
Do you even know u met me?
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
Its time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true
I know when I go ill be on my way to you
The way that's true
I've waited all my life to cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
Its time to try anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true
Jacen Solo watched her all evening. Watched her speak to the others are the ball. Watched her dance with certain members of the new government and other heroes of the war. He watched her eat the dinner that was served and share small talk with those at her table. He watched all this from a shadowed corner of the large hall, unable to bring himself to even say hello to one of his oldest and dearest friends. Her eyes, the joy that they held that night, bore into his soul. He used to be the only one in the galaxy that could make her smile. Now she smiled a bit more freely, laughed a bit easier. He couldn't tell if it was part of her new position in the galaxy or if she was just happier without him in her life, but whatever it was, joy cam easier to her face, her actions. She was no longer the warrior princess he had gone to school with. She was the Queen Mother; her life was devoted to her people.
As the night wore on, people came and left, eventually only leaving a few of the younger members of the attendees. Tenel Ka sat all alone at a small table watching her friend and her boyfriend dance to a slow tune, issuing from somewhere hidden in the hall. The joy in her eyes had dimmed a bit as she tiered from putting on the face everyday. She knew he was here. Somewhere, watching her. She would feel his eyes on her at certain moments during the evening, but never could find the source. For the first time in her life she was aware of those eyes watching over her, protecting her, dying for her. Cautiously, she looked around the hall again, feeling the eyes on her once more. She knew if it didn't happen tonight, it never would.
Jacen saw her sitting alone, no one seeming to want to approach her, and saw his one chance. His chance to finally tell her how he felt, how he had felt since he first laid eyes on her back at the Academy. He slowly walked around the outer perimeter of the hall, staying in the shadows, willing her to stay seated, willing other to stay away. This was his moment and no one had better screw it up. Least of all Jacen himself. He finally moved to stand behind a pillar located closest to the table. As he stood there looking at her beautiful profile, he suddenly felt his knees go weak. She was just as stunning as ever and for once in his life, Jacen was truly afraid to know the truth.
She felt him coming closer, that presence that had buried itself in her soul during their childhood burning brighter than ever before. Ignoring the feeling that rancors were doing back flips in her stomach, Tenel Ka watched the dancers on the floor harder, waiting for him to approach her. He knew he was behind her, knew he was hiding from her, waiting. Her breath quickened in anticipation hoping this wasn't a dream. It had been so long, to long, since she'd seen him face to face. And for once, she was afraid to hear the truth. She inhaled sharply as she heard his voice, deeper than she last remembered it to be.
"Tenel Ka?"
When he finally spoke, his voice came out croaked, deeper than normal, straining from not having been used all evening. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he cursed himself for not having cleared his throat first. This is the Queen Mother! He shouted at himself. But it's also Tenel Ka. Just Tenel Ka. The woman you've loved all your life.
"Tenel Ka?"
Her head snapped around, as if surprised to hear him from the shadows. He saw her squint her eyes to focus on him in the dark.
"Jacen?" she questioned in return.
His heart flipped at the sound of her voice. Just as he remembered. Perfect, counted, with that accent that drove him to his knees almost every time he heard it. He swallowed hard as he stepped into the light, closer to her.
She turned quickly in her chair, a bit too quickly for her own taste. She was just so happy that he was here, that she was here, that they were here together. She couldn't help but show it. He was still standing in the dark, near the stone pillar he had hidden behind. She squinted, unbecoming of a Queen, yes, but she couldn't stand it anymore. She had to see him, had to speak to him, be near him.
"Jacen?" she asked, unable to stand it anymore.
Her heart stopped as he stepped out of the dark, into the soft lights of the hall, a shy, boyish grin on his face. He looked just like when they were in school, expect a few years older. His eyes were heaven to her soul and she immediately felt lost in them. He was back, and if she had her way, he would never leave her again.
"Tenel Ka. Um… hey…" he stuttered out, unsure what to say.
Jacen knew what he wanted to say, what he wanted to do. But it was improper and he didn't want to embarrass her in public so he checked his emotions, unsure of how she'd react.
"Listen," he stammered on, "we need to talk in private. Do you wanna leave? The party is almost over anyway."
He watched her glance back to the dance floor, watched the way her hair fell over her shoulders, the way her neck stretched out, inviting him in. She was as stunning as ever and just the thought of being able to talk to her took his breath away.
She turned back around to face him, the barest hint of a smile on her face. "Yes, we do need to talk, Jacen Solo. Do you have an idea of where you would like to speak?"
"Yeah, I have the perfect place. Come on." Jacen took a chance, reaching out to take her hand. He was surprised when she didn't pull away and he gently led her away.
She couldn't stop herself from taking his hand when he offered it. It was warm to the touch and soft, not what she expected. She let herself be led away, completely trusting in Jacen. She didn't know where they were going but soon they had left the large hall behind, walking slowly through the empty streets of Mon Calamari. She could hear the waves breaking in the distance and smelled the salt through the air. Things were so peaceful now, so different than a year ago.
Jacen led her closer and closer to the vast sea; she could hear the roar growing in her senses. Cresting over a small hill she gazed down on the dark blue waters, reflecting the narrow sliver of moonlight. No one was around, just various sea birds and other creatures. He led her down closer to the black sand beach, just slightly in the lead, silent as ever. She paused a bit, taking her hand back as she removed the heeled shoes she had been wearing all evening. Leaving them at the edge of the beach she took Jacen's hand again and let him lead on.
He watched patiently as she removed her shoes, her hair falling over her face, hiding her from him momentarily. While she took care of that he looked around, spotting the perfect place. It was a long, wooden pier that ran way out into the ocean. When she offered her hand again, he took it, his grip a little firmer this time, a little surer of himself. He led her across the warm sand and let her climb the three stairs to the pier before him, watching her every move, documenting them for when the time came.
She waited for him at the top before letting him lead on. They walked in silence, Jacen's head spinning with all the things he wanted to tell her. He was trying to formulate a plan of attack, a way to tell her without just verbally spewing it all out. But all his mind could come up with was a screaming voice, telling him to stop there and kiss her. To just scream to the galaxy that he loved her. He loved Tenel Ka Chume Djo.
They finally reached the end of the pier, walking side by side, enjoying the refreshing spray that came to them from the breaking waves. He let go of her hand and watched her walked the few extra steps to the railing, watched her peer down into the water, her hand gripping the railing tightly. Her hair fell past her shoulder, into her face and she slowly reached up and tucked it behind her ear.
"Um… yeah…" Jacen said, rubbing the back of his neck. Suddenly all his words left him and he didn't know what else to say. He was just so stunned they were here, together, alone, finally. He felt his heart jump and his breath caught in his throat as she turned to look at him.
"Yes?" she questioned, leaning back against the railing.
"I love you, Tenel Ka Chume Djo," he said, as quickly as he could. All his careful planning had come down to this. He closed his eyes at his stupidity and waited for the worst.
He was surprised when he felt her lips close over his in a passionate kiss. His knees went weak and he had to focus very hard to keep from going over board.
"I've waited all my life for this," he whispered against her lips as she pulled away a bit.
"As have I."
"You don't know what you do to me, do you?"
She answered him with another kiss, this one deeper than before, a bit more wild. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her close. And he knew that this was how he would spend the rest of his time.
His words pierced her thinning shell. He loved her. All this hoping, all this waiting. It was all true. Everything was true. Before she could stop herself she rushed to him, kissing him with all the years of bottled up emotions, behind her actions. She was glad to see him respond positively, happy that for the first time in a long time, all was right in the world.
"I've waited all my life for this," he muttered, his breath hot and sweet on her lips.
"As have I," she responded, lost for words as her head swam.
"You don't know what you do to me, do you?" he asked.
She had a good feeling it was exactly what he did to her every time she saw him enter a room. She delighted when she felt his arms snake around her waist and pulled her closer. She figured they could stay like this forever and she would be happy.
I've waited all my life
To cross this line
To the only thing that's true
So I will not hide
Its time to try
Anything to be with you
All my life I've waited
This is true