In the Nick of Time

Disclaimer: Nope, they're not mine. I'm just borrowing them for a bit.

A/N: Yes, I know I have at least two if not four unfinished stories and I should really be writing them but once this plot bunny got into my head, I couldn't get rid of it. Apparently, musie is back and is determined to make me write something new and how am I to defy her, right? This came to me as I was listening to my MP3 - I tell you that little device has inspire quite a few of my stories. At first, it was going to be a one shot, then a two chapter and in the end, I heard the song I'm using for the second chapter, and it became with a three parter - complete with a plot! And maybe, if you ask nice enough some smut. Don't know yet, cause I haven't gotten that far, though the second chapter is all but done. All three chapters are based on different songs, which I think really guide them. I hope you're in the mood for a long ride, cause as usual, they're not short chapters - especially the second one, which is at 15 pages and counting. Please let me know what you think!!!! Song by Faith Hill: If I'm not in Love with You.

Chapter 1: If I'm not in Love with You

"Maybe you just miss him," a voice said from the office doorway, causing Dr. Temperance Brennan to turn from her contemplation of the computer.

"Angela!" she said, surprised. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd left for the day already."

"I had," Angela nodded. "Hodgins just wanted to check something in the lab," she added, vaguely gesturing towards the entomologist's lab. "And don't change the subject."

"I'm not changing the subject," Brennan protested as she turned back to the laptop and acted as if she was engrossed in whatever was on the monitor – disregarding the fact that she had been staring at the same page for the last half hour without adding one single word. "I just don't know what you mean."

"Right," Angela scoffed as she walked farther into the office. "I mean that maybe the reason why you can't concentrate enough to get any work done," she waved her arm to indicate not only the laptop but the number of books that had been opened and discarded throughout the office, "is because you miss him and can't stop thinking about him."

"That's ridiculous," Brennan denied. "I'm not missing anyone; besides, I've never missed anyone so much I couldn't work. I'm just a little distracted at the moment, that's all," she added, because even she knew that trying to convince Angela that she was getting the work she had stayed late for, was a lost cause.

"Right," Angela nodded, not looking like she agreed at all. "I noticed that you didn't ask who 'him' referred to."

"That's because there's only one 'him' you're always referring to," was the caustic retort.

"That's true," the artist agreed easily enough. "Well, sweetie, continue to lie to yourself if you must but please don't lie to me. I know better."

"That makes no sense," Brennan informed her best friend, frowning in confusion.

"I know what I mean," Angela waved any confusion aside. "And so do you."

"No," Brennan denied, shaking her head. "I really don't. But then, I rarely know what you mean," she added under her breath, and though Angela heard her, she decided to let it go.

"He's out on a date tonight, you know," she said a few moments later, as she leaned against the back of the couch and crossed her arms.

"How . . . ?" Brennan started to ask, wondering how Angela knew Booth was out on a date when she herself didn't. True, Booth didn't like to talk about his love life with her, but she was sure he wouldn't be comfortable discussing it with Angela either.

"He told Hodgins the other day," Angela explained. Despite their being polar opposites, the two men had developed a surprisingly strong friendship. "Apparently, he met her about three weeks ago and she's pursued him since."

"Booth doesn't like pushy women," Brennan commented, turning her head to hide the smug smile she knew was curving her lips.

"He seems to like this one," Angela disagreed. "This is the third date they've been on," she then informed Brennan, looking at her closely to see how she took the news. Three dates in three weeks with a woman that had pursed pursued him was not something that could be easily dismissed, because like Brennan had said, Booth liked to make the first move. If he was still seeing this woman, there must be something about her that he really liked.

"The third . . .?" Brennan asked, not even finishing the question.

"Yep," Angela nodded and by the look on the other woman's face, Angela knew this was the first she'd heard of these dates. When Hodgins had first told her about the new woman Booth was seeing, Angela had wondered if Brennan knew about it and if maybe that had been the reason for the fight they'd had during their last case. She now knew that whatever the fight had been about, it hadn't been because of this.

"Oh," Brennan said in a small voice, as she hurriedly got up from her chair and walked to a bookcase to avoid having Angela notice how upset she was at hearing this new information. "He must really like her," she commented, doing her best to strengthen her voice but still keeping her back turned towards Angela.

"Yes, he must," Angela agreed and then sighed, deciding that she might as well go all the way because she might not have another opportunity later on. "You know," she said a few moments later, during which Brennan had gone back to pretending to be busy. "I promised myself that I wasn't going to say anything; that I was going to let you figure it out by yourself because some things just aren't worth as much if we don't figure them out by ourselves. But, Brenn, if I keep waiting for you to wake up to your own reality, soon there might no longer be a reality for you to wake up to."

"Once again," Brennan said, putting back the book she'd picked up and giving up trying to discourage Angela from talking by pretending to be working as that strategy really wasn't being effective, "I have no idea what you mean."

"I mean, sweetie," Angela told her, looking as serious as Brennan had ever seen her, "that you are in love with Booth."

"No, I'm not," Brennan immediately denied, shaking her head vigorously.

"Yes, you are," Angela repeated; and in contrast to Brennan, she was quite calm and composed. "What's more, Booth's in love with you."

"No, he's not," again, the denial was immediate and powerful. "He doesn't see me that way; there's a line we don't cross. And didn't you just tell me he's out on a date? Besides, if he was in love with me, don't you think he would have said something by now?"

"No," Angela answered, not even bothering to address that whole line or date business, "he wouldn't because he's waiting for some sign that you won't shut him down cold if he dares to mention it."

"Angela," Brennan said, slowly as if speaking to a particularly dense child. "I know you think you're very good at figuring out what people are thinking and feeling but this time, you're completely wrong."

"No, I'm not," the utterly rational and calm tone Angela was using was doing more to unsettle Brennan than what the artist was actually saying. "Like I said before, if you need to keep lying to yourself, go ahead but please don't lie to me. And don't," she added, raising her hand, "argue with me to try and convince me I'm wrong, because I know I'm right and I really don't feel like arguing with you tonight. Just please, listen to me, really listen to me and I promise this will be the last I ever say on this subject, okay?"

"Okay," Brennan finally agreed after studying Angela closely and noting how serious she was. "Go ahead," she told Angela as she once again sat behind her desk.

"If you really don't love him," Angela told her, with an intensity the artist rarely displayed and which told Brennan just how much she meant every word she was saying. "If you are completely sure that you don't want a life with him, then that's fine; that's your prerogative and I really can't say or do anything to change that. And I won't because we love who we love and no one else has a say in it. But I want you to do something for me when I leave here tonight," Angela asked, leaning forward a bit and Brennan found herself nodding without thinking about it. She wasn't sure why but hearing that Angela was going to stop pestering her about Booth, something she's been asking for, for a long time, did not fill her with the relief she'd been sure she would feel.

"I want you to use that analytical brain of yours to compile and analyze all the evidence pertaining to this particular issue," Angela told her, apparently having decided that talking to her using language she was comfortable with would get better results than using what Brennan would call 'heart language'.

"I want you to think about what your life was like before Booth came into it and what it is like now and I want you to honestly decide whether you're better off now or if you were happier then," Angela went on, listing every point she wanted Brennan to go over. "I want you to think why is it that he's the first thing you think about every morning when you wake up and the last thing you think about before you go to sleep every night," Brennan opened her mouth to asked how could Angela possibly know she did that when she'd never mentioned it to anyone, but at the last moment decided that it would be better if she didn't admit to anything.

"I want you to," Angela continued, noticing, but ignoring, Brennan's surprise at being found out, "really think about why is it that whenever you need emotional support, he's the first person you turn to; why he's the first person you call whenever you have any sort of news – good, bad or indifferent. Really think about why you let him take you out to lunch and dinner and bring you breakfast almost every day and why you allow him to pull you out of this place at a reasonable hour most nights when you would drop kick anyone else from attempting it. Think about why you care so much about Parker and why you agree to spend so much time with him and why you enjoy it so much. And then I want you to think about the future," here, Angela became even more serious, something Brennan hadn't thought was possible and the change disturbed Brennan even more.

"I want you to imagine," Angela went on, "what your life will be like five, ten, twenty years from now; to finally wonder what kind of role you want Booth to have in your life five, ten, twenty years from now. Imagine it with him in it and without him and see which one you like best. And then, try and realize that just because he's been at your beck and call almost since the moment you met him doesn't mean he'll always be there." When she saw Brennan's worried face, Angela hastened to reassure her.

"I don't mean that he won't always be your friend or your partner for as long as he can," Angela told her. "But what do you think will happen if he meets someone and decides to try and spend his life with her? Do you really think that your relationship won't change? He might always be your friend but he'll be someone else's husband and that will mean that someone else will be his priority; you would no longer be number one. How would you feel if that were to happen? But Bren, this won't work if you're not brutally honest with yourself," Angela cautioned her. "You don't have to tell me you're in love with Booth if you don't want to, but please, please, be honest with yourself about what you want, what you don't want and what you'll do to get what you want." Angela stopped for a moment to take a breath and judge how Brennan was doing.

"I'm not saying that this new woman is the one he'll marry," Angela added, knowing that that thought must be somewhere in Brennan's mind. "Or even that the next one will be it," but the fact that they were having this conversation at all was a sign that Angela was worried this new woman could really be it. "What I'm saying is that there might come a day when that happens," and frankly, while one part of Angela was surprised that that day might have arrived already, another part was surprised it had taken almost five years, "Booth is not a man that's meant to be alone; he has too much to give to a woman, too much he wants to receive to spend his life alone. Now what you have to decide is whether you want to be that woman or whether you're okay with it being someone else." Knowing that she had said everything she could to get Brennan to really think about this, and seeing that Hodgins was waiting for her, she straightened from the couch and walked towards the office door.

"And sweetie," she said, turning to look at the confused forensic anthropologist once more, "whatever you end up deciding, make damn sure that it is something you can live with for the rest of your life – because I have a feeling that you just might not have the chance to change your mind later on." With one final look at her best friend and a whispered 'good night', Angela walked out of the office and towards Hodgins, thanking God that she had finally come to her senses and that he'd still been waiting for her. Now, she just had to pray that Brennan would also finally see the light and do what everyone had been waiting for the last five years.

-----

If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through
Tonight

"You are in love with Booth," the words kept repeating over and over in Brennan's mind long after Angela had gone home and had pretty much guaranteed that she wouldn't be getting any work done that night.

She was wrong, that was all there was to it; Angela was wrong, Brennan decided for the hundredth time. But just like all the other times, something kept nagging at her; something wouldn't allow her to just put the whole thing to the side. She kept thinking of all the things Angela named and wondered just how she was so sure all of them were true. And there was no question that they were true – even if she'd never admit it to Angela, she couldn't deny them to herself; she was a firm believer in being honest with one's self, after all.

So, if all of those things were true, what did they mean? What did Angela want her to decide? Well, that was a dumb question; she knew what Angela wanted. Angela wanted Brennan to admit to being in love with Booth. But she wasn't – was she?

Argh! How could Angela do this to her? Who did she think she was, going around putting strange ideas into un-expecting people's heads? Her and Booth's relationship was just fine. There was no need for her to think or analyze anything; they were both happy with the way things were. And so what if maybe she did miss him? Just a tiny, little bit?

After five years of being subjected to his presence on an almost daily basis, Brennan was pretty sure she was more than entitled to notice if he wasn't around to nag her or drag her somewhere and to maybe miss him just a tiny bit. After all, this was the first time in a long time that they'd gone so long without seeing each other. Plus, they also had a fight right before they had solved their last case. It had been a nasty, little fight and though they talked about it later and she'd specifically asked him if they were okay and he said 'yes', she was still somewhat . . . not worried, but concerned about it.

But they were fine; he said it and she believed him because he's never lied to her. So, whether she was a bit concerned or not that wasn't the reason she was finding it so hard to work that night. Neither was missing him the reason why; she was just a bit preoccupied with the newest deadline for her book, that's all. Angela had no idea what she was talking about.

With that thought firmly in mind, she turned her attention back to the computer and was determined to forget everything Angela had said and spend the rest of the evening working, which was why she had stayed late in the first place.

But twenty minutes later, she was still staring at the same page she'd been staring at all night and what Angela had said was still going round and round in her mind. With an audible sigh and a silent promise to herself that she would pay Angela back for making her do this, Brennan finally gave in. She turned off her laptop and with another sigh, got up from behind her desk and walked towards the couch.

She sat down, laid her head on the back of the couch and put her feet on the coffee table. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and steadied her breathing, entering into a light meditative state; her preferred method to relax and work out particularly thorny problems. With a smirk, she wondered what Booth would think of being thought of as a thorny problem. She erased the smirk with her next breath and concentrated on clearing her mind.

And if my heart is lying then
What should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you, baby
Why else do I want you like I do
If I'm not in love with you

As her mind cleared, Booth's face emerged as clear as if she was looking at him in that moment. This wasn't the first time his face came to mind while she was meditating; it was actually a fairly regular occurrence. This time unlike all the other times, however, she didn't push it to the side and lock it behind that door of things she'd analyze later. Apparently, thanks to Angela, later had finally arrived and she was going to have to think on what Booth really meant to her.

For a moment she was lost, having no idea from where to begin such a task. She wasn't a person given to introspection; she preferred action to thinking. Not that she didn't think, God knew she did and Booth would probably claim that she thought too much but she liked to think about academic problems or criminal mysteries. She did not like thinking about her emotions – or anyone's emotions really. That was Booth's forte not hers. In their partnership she was the brains and he was the heart. This was Booth's area, it definitely wasn't hers.

And as the thought formed, she had the almost irresistible urge to get up and go see Booth to ask him if she was in love with him and whether he was in love with her and to please explain the answer. She was sure he'd know the answer. But even as she opened her eyes to get up, she realized that this was one emotional dilemma she had to resolve for herself. Booth couldn't help her neither could Angela. As Angela had said, some things we needed to figure out for ourselves or they lost their meaning.

Ok, she could do this. She'd figure figured out serial killer cases that had baffled the authorities for years; surely, she could figure out whether she was in love or not. Though to be fair, she'd had a template to guide her on her investigation of those cases; on this case, she was flying completely blind as Booth would say.

And she didn't need either Booth or Angela to tell her she was thinking of inconsequential things to put off thinking about the real matter. Apparently, she was something of an expert when it came to avoidance.

When in doubt of how to begin, she'd always thought it was best to just start from the beginning. And since she did have a sort of guide for this exercise, she decided to take Angela's questions in order.

And if I don't need your touch
Why do I miss you so much
Tonight

Was her life better for having known Booth? The answer was surprisingly easy and quick in coming. Yes, her life was better since she'd known Booth. It was true that he could be very annoying and sometimes she wanted to just bash his head in or at the very least, push him out of her office or apartment; but it was also true that he's brought a dimension to her life that had been absent from it since she was 15. He'd made it possible for her to discover life outside the lab; thanks to him she had a family again – both her biological and adopted ones. If she'd been feeling sappy, she'd say that he'd brought color into her otherwise somewhat dreary existence. But she was much too practical and literal to use that kind of metaphor; instead, she'd admit that, because of him, her life was a lot more well-rounded now than it had been before they met.

That question out of the way, Brennan turned her mind to the next one. That one also had a relatively easy answer. The reason why Booth was the first thing on her mind in the mornings and the last thing before she fell asleep was because they spent so much time together that she was either going to see him within the hour or had just said 'good night' to him less than an hour previously. It was only natural that he was on her mind so much given the amount of time they spent together. And really, since most of their time was spent conducting murder investigations, it meant that most of the thoughts she had about him were work related. And since she'd always gone to sleep and woke up thinking about work that she'd been thinking about Booth during those times only made sense.

With a satisfied nod at having reached such a logical conclusion, Brennan decided to turn her attention to the next question. But Angela's voice asking her to be brutally honest with her answers chose that particular moment to replay in her mind and it stopped her from going forward.

Taking a closer look at those moments, she was forced to admit that not all of her thoughts of Booth were about their investigations. In fact, not all of her thoughts were professional. And if she was being brutally honest, she might as well admit (if only to herself) to the occasional dream about her partner. Well, they were more than occasional really; they had actually become pretty regular and they were of a decidedly not professional nature. They were very, very personal – intimate even. Angela would probably cackle like a mad-woman if she had even an inkling of the intensity of those dreams, which was why Brennan had never mentioned them nor did she have any intention of ever doing so.

So, yes, she did have strong feelings for Booth. He was her best friend; the one person that was always there when she needed someone, the one that always knew what she needed, sometimes even before she did. And yes, she did turn to him whenever she needed emotional support because she knew he would be there.

At first, she hadn't wanted to; she'd certainly never meant to come to depend on him so much. But he made it so easy by always just being there that before she knew it, she was reaching for him when before she'd been used to never reaching for anyone. And now, though she knew Angela would be there if she needed someone, she couldn't imagine not having him there whenever a crisis arose.

In fact, she couldn't imagine her life without him in it anymore. Having him drag her out for coffee, lunch, dinner, nagging her about getting out of the lab at a decent hour and having a good night's sleep, going with him and Parker to the park, the Zoo or just the diner, having him put his arm around her shoulders or his hand on the small of her back – those were the moments that had come to define her life as much as her academic/professional accomplishments ever had. To lose them, to no longer have them after she'd come to depend on them, to actually look forward to them was something she didn't want to think about.

That was something that until Angela had mentioned the possibility, she had never even thought could happen. Not have Booth in her life seemed . . . simply impossible. He'd told her he'd always be there for her and his word was his bond. Even Angela had said that he would always be her friend and be there for her.

But Angela had also said that if he fell in love with someone else and married her, Brennan would no longer be his first priority. Brennan had never thought of herself as Booth's number one priority but if she stopped to analyze his behavior she could see how, next to Parker, she did seem to be the most important person in his life. And as she acknowledged that fact, she also had to acknowledge that she liked it. She liked being the most important person in his life; she liked knowing that if she called, he'd answer, liked knowing that if she needed him, he'd drop everything to rush to her side. And she was also forced to admit that she would do the same for him.

Did she want that to change? Could she envision a day when she would be okay with it changing? Was she selfless enough to wish for Booth to meet a woman that would give him the family he's always wanted, knowing that that would mean she would be relegated to a secondary plane in his life?

She was surprised at how quickly and how emphatically she arrived at the answer: NO. No, she did not want any of that to change; no, she couldn't envision a day when she would be okay with any type of change that would mean she and Booth weren't as close as they were at the moment. And no, she was most definitely not selfless enough to wish for Booth to meet the woman of his dreams, marry her and have the family he's always wanted.

If it's just infatuation then
Why is my heart aching
To hold you forever
Give a part of me I thought I'd never
Give again to someone I could lose
If I'm not in love with you

If he was going to spend his life with someone it was going to be her. And what really surprised her about that thought wasn't that she had it, but how natural and right it felt to have it. It was almost as if she'd been making her way to this particular destination all along.

She still wasn't sure whether Angela was right about her being in love with Booth. Brennan had no point of reference from which to even begin to form an educated decision. For most of her adult life, she'd been convinced love was fiction and what we felt was just biological reactions.

The conclusion she arrived to, however, was that it simply didn't matter. She'd never thought she would find anyone that would make her consider that spending her life with only him would be a good idea, let alone actually make her want to do it. But she had; she actually wanted to spend the rest of her life with Booth. She wanted to know that no matter what happened she would always be his first priority – well, next to Parker, but since Parker was his son and was one of her own top priorities, she thought that was acceptable. She wanted to go to sleep in his arms every night and wake up to his Charm Smile every morning; wanted him to keep dragging her out of the lab for food or rest or to a crime scene for as long as she could make it into the lab to work.

But most of all, she thought with a sudden and fierce grin, she wanted the right to tell any and all women that even thought about pursuing him, that he was HERS. Booth was hers and only hers, no one else's. He had been since the moment he'd leaned into her personal space and demanded she pay attention to him. He'd pushed and prodded and hadn't rested until he gained access to her life. He hadn't been content with just being partners; oh, no, he had to push until they were friends and then he had to continue to push until they were best friends and confidants. Well, he now had to reap the consequences of his actions, didn't he?

She hadn't asked or even wanted him in her life but there he went and now he was so intertwined in it that to pull him out would unravel the whole thing. She could no longer envision what her life would be like without him in it and she no longer wanted to do it.

She might not know whether she was in love with him but she did know that her feelings for him were more than simply platonic and whatever he needed, she'd do her best to provide. And she also knew that he no longer had the option to look for that elsewhere. He sealed his own fate when he insisted on becoming necessary to hers. Neither had any choice in the matter any longer because, she realized, she belonged to him as much as he belonged to her.

She knew he was going to want to hear 'I love you' from her. But that was just too bad because she didn't know if she could ever say it and he was just going to have to learn to live with it. This was all of his own fault, after all. He had made himself indispensable to her and now he had to pay up.

Why in every fantasy
Do I feel your arms embracing me
Lovers lost in sweet desire
Why in dreams do I surrender
Lying with you baby
Someone help explain this feeling
Someone tell me

With a grin, that even Booth would have been afraid of, Brennan pushed up from the couch and collected her purse and coat. She turned off the lights and left the office on her way to Booth's apartment. She looked at her watch and noticed that it was just after midnight. The thought that he might not be back from his date broke her stride for a moment until she decided that if he wasn't back, she'd just used use her key and wait for him inside. And it would definitely be better all around if he did not bring his date back to his place. The idea that maybe they were already at his place or that they might be at the woman's made her hasten her steps.

If they were at his place, then the faster she interrupted them the better and if they were at the woman's, well, she'd wait for him until around one and if he wasn't back by then, she'd invoke her partner privileges and call him to tell him she needed to see him. A bit underhanded perhaps but a woman had to do what a woman had to do.

Angela had asked her to decide what she wanted for her future and what she was willing to do to make sure she had it. The answers turned out, as had all the others that night, to be surprisingly easy: she wanted Booth and she'd do pretty much whatever she had to do to make sure she had him.

With a spring in her step and whistling a happy tune, despite the fact that it was after midnight, Dr. Temperance Brennan left the Jeffersonian without looking back. She was as focused on her mission as always. This time however, her mission had nothing to do with work. She had a date with destiny and she had no intention of making it wait any longer than it already had.

If I'm not in love with you
What is this I'm going through
Tonight

And if my heart is lying then what should I believe in
Why do I go crazy
Every time I think about you baby
Why else do I want you like I do
If I'm not in love with you