Written as a long pent-up rant against the ending for Metal Gear Solid 4. Meryl's quest for closure.
New Sun
Chapter 1
The war was over. The war of wars was over.
Meryl's jeep cut over the dusty concrete of the army compound. A week and a half ago the world was on the brink military enslavement. Over the following days her team was recognized for their contributions. Roy Campbell may one day be called 'dad.' Then her team was disbanded, as well as herself, in lieu of the cover-up pertaining to anyone involved with the fall of the Patriots' power. It was almost funny how quickly things in this world ramp up, crash down, and get put away. She had engaged in numerous campaigns since Shadow Moses, and it was still not something she was not completely used to. The dreams and sleepless nights. She no longer gawked at the mention of PTSD. It always took her some time to wind down. There was no kill switch. Perhaps there should never be one. The military was still, and would always be her home. Only this time around there would be a new start-albeit by mandatory order-for everyone.
Except for Snake. Always one step ahead, Snake had disappeared. Once again.
Meryl's grip on the shifter tightened. In the beginning there was barely a hello. In the end, not even a good-bye.
The nine years that had passed between them was topped off with less an than a conversation's worth of dialogue. For years she had trained, studied, fought, and drove herself to realize the potential she one day hoped would catch his attention. As time wore on, she then wanted to realize it for herself. And to prove that if they were to meet again, she would be okay. She had long shed the idolization of her youth. The more battles she engaged in, the more she understood the desire to protect those around her; the reason Snake had derailed from his mission to save her in Shadow Moses. It was the preciousness of life, and the innocence of those who did not have to share his world.
And I chose this. It was choice. Not Fate's. Not yours.
She had trained hard so that one day, she might be good enough to fight beside him. Protect him.
But Meryl would have never anticipated the abrupt re-introduction that it came down to. It bluffed all the cards in her deck. She had lost her composure more than once. The system upon which her entire team had relied betrayed them, just as he forewarned. And she had scoffed at him for it. He had saved her again.
Then he saved them all.
The jeep crossed onto the airfield. The Nomad sat idle, undergoing a maintenance check. She brought the vehicle to a halt near the cargo ramp and roughly shoved it into park.
Enough of this running. If this is all done you should be, too.
Inside the Nomad, Otacon sat engaged in a pile of reports and documents, muttering things to himself and tossing every other sheet into the waste basket. "I can't believe these stats. Ridiculous. Are these really today's standards?"
"Otacon?"
Not looking in her direction he replied, "Hm, Meryl? Step on in."
"Do you have a moment?"
Otacon glanced from his papers and loosely arranged them into a pile. "Sure. Just assessing some potential education institutions for Sunny. Today's public school system is…a little lacking I think. And MIT laughed me off the phone." He spun around in his chair.
Meryl grimaced. "Where's Snake?"
A momentary silence filled the makeshift computer space of the cargo bay.
"He's not here."
Meryl marched up to the desk. It gave Otacon a sinking feeling. "No kidding. Where? I want to—need-to see him. He's been out of sight since we got back to base."
Otacon turned to face the computer monitor. There was no 'we' for him. The reflection of the undulating radio frequencies and global maps danced on his glasses. He did not respond immediately. "He needs to be alone. He wanted-at least some time—to be away from everything. And everyone. It's surprised even me. Come to think of it, it does make sense. After all, he's had my unfortunate company for a long time. Too many reminders of the life he's had, I suppose. Everywhere. It's…going to be difficult for him, you know? It's already difficult for me." Otacon forced his voice to remain steady. He somehow managed to give a empty laugh. "Don't try calling. He'll be the last person on this earth to own a Bluetooth."
"Do you know where he is?"
"No."
Her eyes narrowed as she crossed her arms. "Really."
"Meryl."
"Look at me."
Otakon turned towards her as if his neck was suddenly suffering from a cramp. She could see his eyes searching for some invisible answer. God, he was never good with handling women. Perhaps he could have learned a few things from Naomi about holding his ground; a look from the doctor melted him like butter. On the other hand, Meryl's glare burned like hell.
"You're lying."
"Meryl, you've got to understand, it's not my place to open up what space is his!"
"It's not all about him! Did he tell you to keep the lid on it?"
"No, but, I'm—"
Meryl grabbed hold of Otacon's collar, and, raising him to his feet, and shook him with a force that surprised even herself. The frustration with Snake was hard enough.
"Then it's not your problem. If he doesn't want to see me, I'll deal with it, but until then, that's not the issue! I don't have that time! Once more, Otacon. Tell me. Where's Snake?"
The urgency, ferocity in her eyes, suddenly reminded him of someone. The only other time he had the daylights shaken out of him was when he first met the very person she was looking for. Otacon looked up at the ceiling, suddenly lost in memory. Snake's gruff voice resounded in his mind.
"What is Metal Gear really designed for? Where do I find it?"
"Why, it's a mobile TMD. I-It's designed to shoot down nuclear missiles—"
"Liar! Tell me where it is!"
He never let on that he had almost soiled himself then. Ironic how things come around like this. Somehow it always came to him as the point person for information. And the 'liar.' He closed his eyes and smiled. "Guess this is why I need to stick around, Snake."
During his silence Meryl had let the anger seep away. What was he talking about? And what's with that face? Her hands relinquished their hold on his collar and moved to rest on his shoulders. Her fingers gave him a light squeeze.
"I'm sorry, Otacon. You're not the only one who cares about him."
Otacon looked at her and pushed his glasses back up with his finger. "I know, Meryl. I know."
"British Columbia, Canada."
"He's in the outskirts. It's no Alaska, but it's close enough and not far by plane. The Nomad won't be clear until tomorrow. However, I can arrange for you to head out today."
"Thanks Otacon."
"Just do something for me when you see him?"
"Hn."
"Tell him to give me a call. I've been worried."
"You mother hen."
As he watched Meryl exit the Nomad, her form became a silhouette against the bright light outside. Given all the time he spent in dark rooms, in front of a screen, it made him squint a little a longer than most people. He could not live in the Nomad forever.
A new life. In the sun. In the light. For those used to darkness, it would burn every time.
"Go get'em Meryl."