If Wishes Were Horses - 05.17.08
It's weeks later, after settling fully into his role as the new king of Narnia, that Caspian the Tenth decides he's allowed a brief reprieve from being a noble ruler and can escape to be a simple man – if only for a few moments. So he takes a horse and waves away any offers for company.
It's when he's surrounded by trees that he finally admits he wishes for what could've been. He misses her wariness in strangers and her endless loyalty in those she loved. He misses her unfaltering strength and the matchless grace in the curve of her shoulders. He misses her more than he ever thought possible.
And it's foolish and useless and impossible but that doesn't help him at all. He finds himself having everything he's always wanted – peace, loyal subjects, a blossoming kingdom – but he's almost tempted to wish it all away for just one more day. 'Almost' because he's too good of a king and smart enough to know that it wasn't possible for what he was feeling to be love – they had known each other for too short of a time for it to be called that. But there's the dangerous thought that if there had been that one more day his kingdom's throne may have be in danger of being abandoned.
And for that Aslan is wise for not allowing him that one more day. Alone in the woods, Caspian allows himself to spite the Lion, if only for a moment.
Just one more day.
He almost curses her for kissing him, for imprinting him with the thought of what could've been, for once being selfish. He almost hates her for being so kind and understanding. He almost is tempted to toss the Horn as far as possible.
But the wish of just one more day holds him back. He is King, he is Guardian, he is Hope, but he is also the Greatest Contradiction in History – he is Man. And Man's greatest weakness and greatest strength is wishing for the impossible. It has been the cause of fallen kingdoms and expanding dynasties. It has been the cause of loyalty and conspiracy. It has been the cause of one girl's lips pressing against his for one glorious, terrible moment.
Just one more day.
He is being illogical and even though she isn't there he can feel her disappointment in him for even considering such an impossible wish. He can hear her as clear as day, whispering in a soft, steady voice a bit of wisdom from her land.
"If wishes were horses, beggars would ride."
He is resigned.
From his left there is a sudden graceful murmuring and for one moment hope swells inside his cage of a chest. He turns to the sweet feminine voice.
The tree sings in approval of her new sovereign and dances past him. Despite his dissappointment he finds himself smiling. A few weeks ago he would have been scared witless.
Just like his horse.
It shoots off in a panic and Caspian is glad he went alone because it would've been embarrassing for anyone to see the new King of Narnia fall off a horse. He staggers to his feet and watches the horse charge away, knowing he will be hard-pressed to catch up to it.
With a sigh, he watches the horse become smaller and smaller as the distance between them grows larger and larger for a few more moments, before turning his back on it and letting it go.
The horse rushes over the crest of a hill and disappears. Its almost as if it were never there at all.
But Caspian can hear it's fading whiny in the breeze and almost turns back.
Almost.
And for that Aslan is wise for not allowing him that one more day.
Fin.
Disclaimer: The Chronicles of Narnia belong to C.S. Lewis.
A/N: Um, so I know SusanxCaspian isn't cannon but I literally just saw the movie and was like, I need to read some fanfic starring this pairing. Of course, since the movie just came out, there's only so many fics. So I decided to right one. To any readers of 'The Chemistry Project' I have it almost done and will upload… something … soon. Promise!