My half-hearted glances out the window leave me with just the incoherent thoughts of how the sky looks like some abstract painting from a museum far off from my neighborhood and no sign of Angel's gray truck rumbling towards my "house". Maybe he decided not to come home tonight. I wouldn't blame him. I live on the bad side of town. The side that can only be documented as the rundown houses between the one-dollar-movie theatre and the first corn field. Anyone in this small area that consists of 13 homes (9 unoccupied) is considered 'poor white trash' the other part of town is big beautiful mansions and old time shops. There is no grey area. No middle-class. Everything past that first cornfield is 'the country'. Not much to see here.

Just a bunch of Sears catalog boys and girls. And then there was me. The girl in black. That's me. The doped-up freak girl. Even though the only way I have ever even seen drugs are on TV and when the DARE officer used to come to our school. I was also called a slut even though I am still a "virgin"...in a way. "Whites for virgins, huh Jazz?" they'd say referring to my all black ensembles. I've always wondered where people came up with these things. TV, most likely.

I sigh, there's not really much to do about it. Just sit at home and watch re-runs. Like I am now. Like the loser I am cursed to be.

As I'm almost asleep the door creaks open. "Jazz? You up?" I hear my older brother/guardian whisper.

"Now I am." I glare up at Angel hatefully. Home late again I see.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't want to try to carry you to bed if you're not awake." He says. He still has the scar from last time. I remember waking up and being carried toward my bedroom. The next thing I remember was being dropped and Angel yelling and holding his neck. I was going for the jugular but all I got was a little slice of his tanned skin. Shallow enough to keep him alive, deep enough to leave a white line across his neck. Painful enough to make me feel guilty even now.

"Yeah I guess." I say placing my heavy combat boots on the floor and standing up. With the three and a half inch heel I'm about as tall as my six foot brother. I've always been tall. "Good-night, Angel." I say hugging him. I really do love him...for some reason.

The next day I come in late for school as usual. This leads to me getting detention until 4:35. Which then leads to my whole schedule being off. I try to keep my life on schedules so I don't lose my mind but now I lose my mind when my schedule is broken. My bus is gone so I have to walk. I usually go home, do my homework, then walk into town and go to the coffee shop with Lauren, my friend-type concept.

You see, Lauren didn't always live next door from me. Once she was rich and popular. Once she would have looked down her little button nose at me and mimic all the mean things everyone else says. But not now. About a year and a half ago her father's company went bankrupt forcing them to foreclose the house. So she moved next door from me, into the best house in my 'neighborhood', and eventually we became somewhat of friends because when she lost her money, she lost her shallow hypocritical followers. Now here we are. We are all we have, and that still isn't much.

But I don't have homework so I go straight to the coffee shop. I stalk up to the counter and look down on the girl. She's blonde, short, and unbelievably cute. She smacks loudly, and quite obnoxiosly on her gum and says "What will you have?" without looking up from her Seventeen magazine.

I usually get something with flavor but today that just isn't going to cut it. "A large coffee. Black."

She smirks as she punches in the order into the cash register. "Surprise, surprise" She says with the raise of her dark brown eyebrows that match the big strip at the base of her hair. The Barbie doll wanna-be.

I chose to ignore her comment as she walks off to get my coffee. She doesn't seem like the type to spit in it but you never know...

When she brings it back I stir it a little. No saliva visible. Good girl.

"That will be five ninety-seven." She says looking at me disgustedly. I get that a lot.

"Just put it on my tab. I'm Ja-" I say before she cuts me off.

"I know who you are, daddy's girl."

Daddy's girl. Haven't heard that one in a while. Yeah, she was old enough to know about the trial, but still. It still hurts as much as before. Worse actually. I guess I'm stupid for thinking everyone forgot, or would at least leave me alone about it. It's not like I could have stopped it. Stopped him.

I turn away. I don't want her to see how red my face is. I can feel it burning.

I walk towards the curtain in the back of the room. Behind that curtain are three tables in a very small room. I guess it was made for parties even though I think I'm the only one who would celebrate their birthday in a coffee shop.

When I pull the curtain back I don't find the usual deserted area. There is a man there. One I've never seen before, which is pretty weird for this microscopic town. He's wearing a black leather trench coat with black leather gloves, black jeans with a gray fade on them, and big, bulk, black and grey Doc Martens. I grow excited just looking at him. He's reading an old leather-bond book with such concentration you'd think there were pictures of naked women in there. I'm sure there isn't though. He doesn't seem the type. I'm finally looking up at his face. He's gorgeous with his full pinkish lips and ghost-pale complexion. He has either dull black or very dark brown hair that comes dangerously close to his shoulders and falls over his ice blue eyes...starring right at me! I'm probably starring like an idiot. That or a stalker. I quickly lower my eyes to the ground and sit at the table across from his. I hate to stare but there really is no other place to lay my eyes besides on him. There is nothing else of any life or interest in the room. So I rest my eyes on him.

It doesn't take him long to notice and look at me questioningly. I just take a gulp of coffee. Confrontation has never been my strong spot. I lower my eyes again as I feel him examining over me just like I had done seconds earlier. I am just hoping I don't get a snicker.