It didn't happen right away. In fact, in later years, neither Evin nor Miri would be able to pin down exactly when it happened. They'd been friends, sure. Once they had their first year in the Queen's Riders under their belts, it was safe to say they were good friends. After that was when things got distinctly murky.
There was that fight they'd had. Miri remembered it as the beginning of… well, something. It wasn't the fight itself. In fact, Miri couldn't even remember what the fight had been about. No, the important thing about the fight was definitely its aftermath. Evin had stormed off in a rage, and Miri had followed suit. After they had each had a chance to fume privately and then cool off a bit, Evin came looking for her.
"You want to talk about it?" he'd asked. She nodded. They walked for a long time beneath the stars until they were well away from the camp. It wasn't a conscious decision, but in later years, Miri came to see it as a symbolic distance. It was that night, she felt, that they embarked on their deception, though neither of them acknowledged it at the time. They talked rationally about the fight, each of them clarifying their point of view and listening respectfully to the other person. It was the first fight of their friendship, and afterward, they found themselves making a sort of vow.
"I just want us to stay friends." Evin had said. "Your friendship is really important to me."
"It's important to me too."
"So, we're still friends?"
"Yes, always."
For Miri, the fight was the beginning, but for Evin, the true beginning came much later. It wasn't anything deep or significant. He remembered the company halting one day for lunch. He found himself hobbling his pony and sliding over to sit comfortably next to Miri, which was his usual habit. Perhaps he was feeling especially pensive that day, but he would later remember being struck by the idea that Miri was the closest female friend he'd ever had, perhaps the closest friend of any kind, if it came down to that. He wondered in passing if it meant anything, then let the thought rest as she engaged him in a lively debate about the fundamental differences and similarities between the Queen's Riders and the King's Own.
It wasn't long after that that they were assigned to different Rider Groups. Both were heartbroken to be separated from such a close friend, and, if they were being honest with themselves, for another reason too. But of course, they weren't honest with themselves any more than they were honest with their fellow Riders. It was forbidden for Riders to be married or have children, and while it was not strictly speaking against the rules to take a lover, it was certainly frowned upon.
And so, they didn't think about it. Both Miri and Evin poured themselves into their continued training and work, and while they thought of each other often, they tried not to get tied up in thoughts of one another. It was a curious sort of cognitive dissonance they danced through. Miri knew that she loved Evin, but she chose to think of it as a friendly or even a familial love. Evin, likewise, often thought about Miri, but he wrote those thoughts off as the product of boredom or loneliness or teenage hormones.
When the war broke out, both of their Rider Groups were called to the hills outside of Port Legann. They were overjoyed to see one another, and Evin enveloped Miri in the tight circle of his arms. It was a hug that lasted just a little too long for propriety's sake, but they couldn't quite bring themselves to care.
"Evin Larse!" Miri chided when they finally released their embrace, "If you miss me so much, you ought to write to me!" She punched his arm playfully.
"I know, I know. I'm sorry."
They spent the next two days catching up. Miri rode with Gret's Shadows, the fourteenth Rider Group. They had over-wintered in Port Caynn, riding daily to the outlying fiefs to be the Queen's eyes and ears in various disputes over land. Miri had loved being near the sea, and had volunteered to ride a riverboat into Corus whenever necessary. Evin had spent the winter in the desert city of Persopolis with the fourth Rider Group, the Queen's Rabbits. They had worked closely with the King's Own on mediating conflicts between various Bazhir tribes. Evin had begun to learn about Bazhir culture, but he admitted to Miri that he sometimes felt as if the Bazhir were mocking him, as there was still so much he didn't understand. As Miri nodded her sympathy, she couldn't help but think of how tan Evin had become during his months in the desert sun.
One night, Evin was out on patrol, when his party was attacked by Spidrens. Miri heard the news, and waited anxiously for word of her friend. It was well into the night when she finally heard the soft footfalls of the ponies returning. She slipped out of her tent and hid herself in the shadows behind Evin's, watching for him. When she saw him making his way wearily home for the night, she grabbed him by the tunic and pulled him into a fierce hug.
"Evin" she murmured into his ear "I was worried you were…" she trailed off, unwilling or unable to say what she meant. And then, somehow, unplanned and unannounced, she was kissing him full on the mouth. He returned her kiss gently, as if coaxing her to slow down and relish the moment.
Though it was a long time before they talked about it, they established a regular courtship. Whenever their two Rider Groups were stationed together, Evin somehow found his way into Miri's tent, or vice versa. They were careful to keep their rendezvous secret from even their closest friends, knowing that they risked being discharged from the Queen's Riders if they were found out. It continued this way for years. When Evin was named commander of the Queen's Riders, his first thought was that he would move Miri's Rider Group to the palace, or at least to Corus or Port Caynn. Miri pointed out that this was a terrible idea.
"You can't show favoritism, Evin!" she reminded him again and again. "No one will trust you as commander if they find out you're bedding one of us!" He knew she was right, and so he did his best not to make decisions based on her presence, or even her safety. Doing so threatened to eat him alive.
When the fourteenth was away from Corus, he pined for her. When they were in danger, he lost sleep for her. Knowing it was him who had put her in harm's way in the first place made it even worse. One day, when Buri was in the capital, he took her out to lunch and confessed everything.
"I'm in love with her," he admitted at the end of his story. "What should I do?" Buri, delirious with married bliss, was silent for a long time.
"Both of you have a choice to make,' she said finally. "If you've got half a brain behind that clever tongue of yours, you'll make the right one."
Evin agonized over Buri's advice for weeks. In the end, Miri got to him first.
"I want to resign from the Riders" she told him.
"Miri, don't…" he began.
"No, listen," she said, cutting him off. "I love you, Evin. I want to be with you, even if that means not being a Rider anymore." He tried to speak again, but Miri cut him off with a wave of her hand.
"Listen, Larse," she said, with a smile, "I'm quitting. I'm quitting whether you like it or not. Somebody has to budge around here, and it's going to be me. You have too much at stake. Besides, no one stays with the Riders forever." It was the noblest thing anyone had ever done for him. In the end, Miri was happy working on boats down by the river by day and curling up with Evin at night.