Ninjago the Abridged Series
Pilot Episode 1
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Kai: DAMN IT! Why can't I even make one lousy sword!
Nya: Because, unlike dad, you fail.
Kai: Shut up.
Sensei Wu: So this dumbass is the red one? Oh, Ninjago is so screwed. *walks into the store where Kai and Nya are arguing* Hello.
Nya: Oh look, a customer. Hi.
Kai: Hey, whatcha looking for?
Wu: I am looking for you.
Kai: So you're a creepy old pervert stalker. Great.
Wu: No. You are the destined magical gi— erm, ninja of fire.
Kai: Hahaha, good joke, old man.
Wu: I'm not old! I'm only 325 years old! Now shut up and come with me!
Kai: No. Go away.
Sensei: Fine. You'll regret this.
A few moments later
Samukai: GET THE PRETTY ONE!
Krunkcha: OKAY! *gets Nya*
Samukai: I said the PRETTY ONE, you idiot! Not the dumb girl! Whatever LET'S GO!
Kai: NOOOO! NYAAAAA!
Sensei Wu: You must come with me if you want to save her.
Kai: Ok, FINE.
LATER…
Sensei: Now finish this training course before I finish my tea. *drinks tea* FAIL.
Kai: WTF?! I didn't even start!
AFTER KAI FINALLY FINISHES THE COURSE…
Kai: I'm gonna be the best Ninja ever! HYAH!
*3 ninjas in black enter*
Ninja 1: HEY!
Kai: AAAAHH! *shoves his vibrating toothbrush down Ninja 1's pants*
Ninja 1: Oh THAT FEELS REALLY WEIRD! Get it OUT!
Kai: *flees* SENSEI HELP!
*The 3 black ninjas attack Kai*
Sensei Wu: STOP, YOU DUMBASSES!
3 Ninjas: Yes, sensei.
Kai: They're your students too?!
Ninja 1: HE'S YOUR STUDENT TOO?!
Sensei Wu: Shut up. NINJAAAGO! *Spinjitzu's them*
Ninja 1: FUCK YEAH I'M BLUE!
Ninja 3: Why the fuck am I still black?
Sensei Wu: The four of you must save Ninjago. Kai, you're the red ninja of fire. Jay, blue ninja of lightning. Zane, white ninja of ice. And Cole, black ninja of earth.
Cole: Don't worry, *grabs Kai's butt* I got your back.
Kai: THAT'S MY BUTT, NOT MY BACK!
Cole: I know. *rape face*
Jay: Hi I'm Jay what's your name are you single what do you like to do you look cool I like your hair can I touch it we should be friends oh my gosh I—
Cole: Jay, SHUT UP.
Kai: Does he always talk this much?
Cole: Unless we duct tape his mouth shut, yes.
Jay: Hey I do not talk that much I mean I do talk a lot but not that much I mean really I don't why do you guys say I talk too much cause I don't like I totally don't I—
Kai: *puts his hand over Jay's mouth* You seriously need to shut up. Screw this I'm gonna go look for Nya.
Jay: Nya?! That's a girl's name! Is she your sister? Is she hot? Is she single? Is she—
Kai: Shut up! Yes, she's my sister, and yes she's single! Argh!
Sensei: We must go to the Caves of Depression to find the first Golden Weapon.
Kai: Fuck. Whatever, fine.