Title: Star Stories
Rating: PG
Pairings: Jack/Ianto; implied Jack/Marilyn Monroe and Jack/Albert Einstein
Word Count: 676
A/N: For the jantolution 'Einstein' prompt.
Summary: Owen should've known better than to make the bet that he had the best celebrity story.
"I snogged Cheryl Tweedy once," Owen proclaimed smugly, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning back against his computer chair. "Top that."
Tosh fell silent and looked at her hands, while Gwen and Ianto shuffled nervously. Scratching the back of his neck, Ianto offered, "Stephen Fry once signed a napkin for me…"
Tosh and Gwen groaned, knowing that alone wasn't going to beat Owen's confident claims that he had the most impressive celebrity stories. Tosh shuffled suddenly, as if prodded in the ribs, and cleared her throat loudly. "I give up, Owen. I'm gonna go and get something to drink. Anyone else wanting anything?"
As the team shook their heads, and Owen regarded her suspiciously – Tosh? Giving up? – she walked away from the group. However, instead of aiming towards the kitchen, she walked towards Jack's office, and that was when Owen realised what she was up to.
"Hey! Don't bring him into it! That's cheating!" he yelled after her, a few moments too late.
Jack strolled into the room, cocky grin on his face. "What's going on?" he asked as Tosh lurked behind him, having to struggle not to smirk.
"It's Owen, sir. He's bet us one week's salary that we don't have a better 'celebrity story' than him," Ianto informed him neutrally.
It was right when Jack gave a snort of air through his nose that Owen knew he was screwed.
Jack shrugged, though, and took a step backwards. "I don't know, guys; maybe it's cheating," he said coyly, but it was clear that he wanted to join in and flatten Owen completely. Owen huffed, chewing on the end of his biro, and tried to work out how he was going to last without a week's salary.
"Aw, c'mon," Gwen said, goofy smile beaming at Jack. "You must've done all sorts in your travels."
Jack gave a one-sided shrug, as the girls closed in on him.
"Who've you met?" Gwen continued, giddy with the idea. "Marilyn Monroe? Have you met her?"
"Met and more," Jack replied immediately, white teeth flashing. "But who hasn't?"
Gwen's eyes widened, and Ianto shifted on the spot in a way that Owen suspected was slightly jealous. "Who else, then?" he asked, leaning back in his chair. Maybe losing that money was going to be worth it if he could get Jack in trouble with Ianto.
"I don't want to name-drop," Jack said, coy voice back.
Owen sighed and shrugged. "Fine, just name one then: who's the best person you've met?"
Jack's gaze flitted briefly over to Ianto, and if he gave Ianto's name as the 'best' person then Owen was probably gonna have to go and throw up in the corner. The two really were getting sickening these days. Any moment now, they'd be swapping wedding vows and Jack would be just as whipped as every other married man out there.
Eventually, Jack let out a long breath of air and nodded decisively. "Albert Einstein. Met him on his 21st birthday, when I was with Rose and the Doctor. Wonderful guy. Great hair."
Tosh looked ready to squeal on the spot, but the rest of the team just stared at Jack in silent horror.
Several moments of contemplation passed, before Owen cleared his throat. "You shagged Einstein?" he asked, trying to grasp that fact.
Jack didn't answer that, and simply chuckled to himself instead. "It's about the brains not the body, Owen. You might wanna bear that in mind."
Convinced that he'd just been insulted, Owen scowled to himself, even as Jack retreated back to his office. Jack paused once to kiss Ianto lightly, and whisper something in his ear; Owen couldn't hear it, but whatever it was made Ianto blush and look down with a content smile on his face.
In the silence following the closing of the door to Jack's office, Owen tried to get rid of the mental images of Jack and Einstein that were currently rolling in his mind.
"So," Tosh said, after a long pause. "Guess that means you owe us your salary."
Bugger.