a/n: Hey guys! So this is my first fic EVER and I am totally nervous and don't have a beta and really have no idea if this is going to work. So I already would like to thank you for giving it a chance. It is loosely (and I mean loosely) based on the song Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley. Warnings: This fic is going to be dark because I am, apparently, a sadist who likes to torture my characters a little before giving them a happy ending. Also, SLASH. I will never write anything else, if I ever write again. Anyway, here goes:

Arthur probably should have realized what was going on months ago. That time Merlin sauntered though their door after having been missing for two days with no idea of what happened. Arthur had been worried beyond belief, though he wouldn't admit it to anyone, and hadn't let Merlin out of his sight for a week, going as far as bringing his own work to Merlin's office during the day. It was only after a completely lost Gaius gave Merlin a perfectly clean bill of health, no leads had been found, and the boy finally begged Arthur to leave him alone for a little while that Arthur let things go back to normal. And if Merlin seemed a bit off, well, that was only to be expected. Anyone would feel disoriented after losing two whole days of their life without any clue of what had happened.

But then the arguments started. It was over tiny, immensely trivial things, like the way Arthur tied his shoes or would sigh at some bad news about the stock market. Things that he had done practically his whole life and yet Merlin was treating them like they were personal attacks. The blonde was almost at his breaking point when Merlin threw the final curveball.

"Fine Merlin! I'll fold my socks before I put them in the laundry next time. Although, I don't see what the problem is now, you've never cared before."

"Sorry Arthur. Didn't realize it was such a problem for you to do something so small to make my life a little easier. I mean…whatever, I bet Gwen probably doesn't ask you to actually do stuff for her." Merlin bit back.

"No, Merlin it's not…" Arthur sighed defeated. He just didn't know what to do anymore. Everything he was doing was wrong and then… "Wait! What? What does Guinevere have to do with any of this?" He asked as Merlin's final statement sunk in.

"What does Gwen…? Did you think I wouldn't figure it out? I mean, come on Arthur! I know you think I'm an idiot but even you can't think I'm that stupid! She's over here all the bloody time. And you didn't think I wouldn't figure out what was going on at work did you?"

"She's over here all the time because of you! She's worried about you! We all are!" Where the hell all of this was coming from, Arthur had no idea. He had never even thought of Gwen like that. "And Guinevere works for Morgana. You know that. I barely ever see her at work. And besides, those two are together. I would never hurt Morgana like that." Or you, he added silently.

"So you've thought about it then? But what? Didn't have the balls to face up to Morgana? And why the hell is everyone worried about me? I'm fine!" Merlin was shaking from finally letting out all his pent-up anger.

"Yeah, that's obvious." Arthur snapped, but immediately regretted it. "No, Merlin, I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. And we are worried about you because, in case you have forgotten, it's not exactly normal for someone to just go missing for two days and have no recollection of what happened. But, anyway, where is all of this coming from? If you've thought that I was cheating on you, Or," he continued as Merlin as about to say something "thinking about it, then why didn't you say something. Merlin, I love you. I don't want anyone but you."

Merlin bowed his head, his stance portraying the epitome of defeat. "I just can't do this anymore Arthur. I… I just can't." He ended in a whisper, and walked out the door before Arthur had even figured out what had happened.