«That Is What Hope Is»
Characters belong to Sui Ishida.
Summary:
So Kaneki comes back, shattered, and Touka wouldn't have to do anything but open her arms and let him in once again. This is his family, this is his home. It's little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, it was good. Touken. Spoilers from chapter 72.
AN/: This is never gonna happen, I know it, but lemme dream a little. And this is some kind of answer to those haters who said that Touken glorified mental illness and stuff, lmao. Tell me how this beautiful reunion can mess up Kaneki's mind? *shows her middle finger* Anyway, as always: enjoy this, scuse any grammar issues and touken forever, bye.
—o—
The coffee shop remains silence and Touka doesn't care.
She can feel Nishiki's attentive stare upon her face, the way he bites back his tongue firmly to prevent himself from dropping a commentary that will be responded with an insult, those that were so typical of Touka. She can feel the sounding of cups being washed off, little Hinami trying to be as noiseless as she can because onee-chan is tired today, I'll take care of the kitchen. She can also feel her brother's presence too, and the hidden commotion that this mere fact represents, his blushed cheeks and austere look when she forced him to try one of her coffees and he muttered—very reluctantly— a "w-well… is not bad, but could be better…" that Touka sent to hell because that bastard ended up drinking the whole mug.
The coffee shop remains silence.
It has been like that for two long weeks.
And Touka is happy, because during that time many things happened inside that small settlement called home, things Touka wishes to write down on a list in order to read over and over with the intention of not forget, to remember that her brother's presence and Yomo's health and Hinami's giggles and Nishiki's swearing are real, and she can almost contemplate Yoshimura's smile from behind the bar, chuckling at the flummery of his family because that's what they were throughout all those years, a little family. A bit broken, yeah, and too brittle to be honest, but it was good family despite all. Touka liked to think of themselves as small porcelain pieces that, together, formed a pretty cup of coffee. Touka could count the fissures upon the object, they were many, and sometimes she feared that they could disintegrate forever, but it consoled her that the cup wasn't broken yet. That after many years they were still there, firm despite the circumstances, and that made her happy.
However…
However, there was always a missing piece. The biggest one, the darkest one, the important one. Hinami's piece was tiny and slippery, and Touka always knew she would find it again. Surprisingly along with Hinami's return another piece showed up as well, a piece Touka never thought she would be able to regain someday because it was not precisely part of the cup, it was part of her own heart, her own blood, and Touka felt more than pleased to make a spot for it.
But Kaneki's piece was uncertain as sea waves, so precarious that for instants Touka forgot it existed, that even if it was part of another puzzle in someone else's life, its spot was still empty and Touka would have never dared to replace it with a spare because she was still hoping for him to knew, to remember that there was a place for him out there, waiting to be occupied, a place that was claiming for his presence just as her heart, dying a little every day through the waiting.
I'll see you later, okay?
When, when, when?
Touka sighs again and snuggles in the chair once more, staring absently at the big foggy window inside the cafeteria, resting her cheek on the glass whilst night falls over Tokyo and her eyes get lost in the dim of the streets.
The coffee shop remains silence.
However, her eyes warns a silhouette moving right in the next street.
Touka blinks, body tensing, she frowns and her lips are about to scream Ayato's name in case it is an emergency, but all her superstitions aren't necessary when she sees him.
She sees him.
He walks with both hands jammed in the pockets of his black coat, head down and unconfident eyes, and if it weren't because she knows him too well she would've thought it's the death itself. He looks as such, shadows seem to gobble him up perfectly, making him part of them because you belong here, with us, in the valley of monsters and death and—
No.
Because even if Kaneki wears black and his eyes look fearsome and all of him screams abyss, the last thing Touka can see is darkness. Surprisingly and despite the dark night, Touka sees light. She sees the light that for so long she waited for coming home with timid moves, it's been so long… they still even want me here?
Touka sits up from the chair quickly and the rest of the family look up at her, confused, but is not the time to give any sort of explanations. Touka takes off her robe and throws it onto a table to walk on the door and open it hastily, the undaunted weather enveloping her slim body and she cannot imagine all the cold that Kaneki has gone through to come here, walking sluggishly like if he wants to freeze in the middle of the journey and never arrive, because till now numbness is all he knows and he can't imagine another place where it will be different, but he's wrong.
He is so wrong.
Touka takes a few steps; mist flying out of her mouth like a ghost and Kaneki is fast to catch her presence before him. He stops, perplexed, and looks up but Touka doesn't know what the hell to do when his eyes sustain hers. She imagined how this moment would be like many times, and her mind recreated a big list of possibilities like break his nose, or nipping at his ears, or yell at him and cry and make a fuss like a stupid little girl, but Touka isn't a child anymore, it's been years she left that behind. However, not everything has changed.
Recklessness is her best ally and for the first time, she knows she's doing the right thing.
Touka makes one step, then two, three, four, while Kaneki maintains his gaze in the same place without knowing what the hell to do but that's not important anymore, Touka is the one in charge now. Her steps turn into something frantic until she doesn't even walk anymore, she runs, like a little girl, and when she stops in front of him with her heart on her sleeve and unshed tears, Touka wraps her arms around his neck and her body clings to his in a warm embrace. Despite the tears and her shaky little arms, Touka curses him with a sigh, why the hell did he have to grow this tall? It's so fucking hard to hug him properly!
Kaneki's body feels rigid against hers, his hands still immobile inside his pockets and he wonders when that scorching heat has taken control of his body by flowing a blood that for so long lived frozen within his veins. Her sweet smell of coffee surrounds him and Kaneki shivers because it is a painful throwback to the past, a happy past, and his chest is burning and he contains his pathetic tears because the wind is blowing firmly against them and her hair caress his face and he's not feeling cold anymore and he's sweating and Touka is hugging him and—
Hug her, idiot; hug her too, what the hell are you waiting for…
Kaneki's teeth clatter at the sound of a voice that, surprisingly, does not come from his own mind. It's not a demon, it's not Haise, and it's not even himself speaking out loud…
It's his heart.
His face cries in silence and fear but he still regains strength and his hands leave the darkness of his pockets to reunite again with the warmth of her body. And it's easy to deepen the cuddle because Touka is a shorty one, her figure adapts perfectly into the curve of his arms and during an instant is not Touka the one who hugs him passionately anymore, it's him. The missing piece adjusting little by little to its spot and his hands are nothing and everything, they sustain her waist and her back and he doesn't figure out how one of his hands had traveled to her soft hair but it doesn't matter anymore, he holds her against his chest like if he wants to make her part of his soul, like if Touka is a missing piece of his broken heart because it is, she had always been. Breathing still aches and Touka squeezes his body firmly, Kaneki buries his face in the curvature of her neck and his eyes never dare to shut, what if everything is just a fantasy? But, at the same time, everything feels so real…
Maybe it is.
They don't say anything at all, they can't, and it's not even necessary. They stay like that for a while, in silence, because Touka doesn't want to come back just yet and Kaneki doesn't want to break the embrace that quickly. When was the last time someone hugged him like that? When would he ever think that someone would have the desire to hug him, like this, again?
In the middle of the scene, another silhouette pops out from afar. Hinami opens the door and closes it behind her, her eyes wide open whilst she witnesses such a show, and there is no more space left for tears or sobs nor broken hearts like the night Kaneki went to save her from her cell in Cochlea. Hinami smiles, her chest flutters and she stays still for a couple minutes staring at them, Touka and Kaneki, cuddling. As she always dreamed, as she always wished it to be… her dream comes true right in front of her eyes. Onii-chan and onee-chan… together again.
But there isn't any Kaneki and Touka without little Hinami.
The girl moves away from :RE and her feets run towards them, anxious, impatient, the cold lashing her beaming eyes. Kaneki looks up, muddled, and before he can even react to the situation Hinami's body collides with them, her little arms enveloping both with desperation and Touka squeals irritably because, apparently, Hinami stepped accidentally on her foot.
"Ouch, Hinami!" Touka protests against Kaneki's chest, titling her face to one side, looking at her.
Hinami's laughter fills the streets with life, with hope.
"I-I'm sorry, onee-chan!"
Then, Kaneki giggles.
His lips curve into a smile and his arms cling firmly against their bodies, bringing them close to his heart. Hinami tilts up her face; optimistic like a child, and when Kaneki meets her eyes he knows he has found everything he was looking for. He reaches out to tousle her hair, amused, and tears fall off from her eyes because it is something he used to do all the time in the past. Hinami buries her face in his chest again and Kaneki looks at the nocturne sky, blurting out a deep sigh and assuring the grip of his arms, sheltered by the love of the two people he loved the most.
This is his family, this is his home. It's little, and broken, but still good.
Yeah, it was good.
Reviews? :)