Characters: Mainly Hagane Kotetsu and Kamizuki Izumo, but Kakashi, Anko, Mizuki, and Iruka appear.
Rating: G-ish
Disclaimer: If I was Naruto's owner/creator, the series would never end for lack of direction.
Misc: The line "Shut up, you don't know what you're talking about" will be a constant in my random humour cracks. This snip is part of the Chuunin exam fight between Izumo and Kotetsu. Purely fanbased, as these two were lucky enough to be named, but not so lucky as to come with back stories.

Also, this was really supposed to be about Kotetsu and Izumo. Really. They're about nine, because, judging from Kakashi's flashbacks, Konoha was hitting a rough point, and every ninja they could get, they got. By the way, they're not friends yet.

Proceeding Onward...

Hagane Kotetsu stared at his opponent. This scrawny thing was who he was supposed to fight? "Kamizuki Izumo," he finally said, smirking a bit. This should be easy. To his memory, the boy had only been good for proclaiming how great his clan was, and that the Uchiha and Hyuuga couldn't even compare. Standard Kamizuki propaganda that got Izumo into more than his fair share of fights. "So, what are you going to do now? You don't have your precious clan or even your team to back you up in this one. It's common knowledge you're useless."

"Hagane-kun, do the village a favor and shut up." Izumo pulled four senbon out of seemingly nowhere. "It's not like you're good for anything, either. I know i'm a disgrace to my clan, but you're just a disgrace to Konoha. So let's get this over with, I have better things to be doing than fighting a smart aleck wannabe weapons master."

"Low blow," Mizuki said to Iruka from the stands. He was leaning against the railing. "Any minute now, they're going to drop to the "yo momma" level."

"Maybe they'll finish each other off and save me the trouble," Anko suggested jokingly from Iruka's other side. "Ooh, look, they've shut up."

"Lunch says that Hagane wins," Mizuki betted.

"Dinner and a shopping trip says Izumo wins," Anko disagreed. She'd been eyeing those summur yukata with the hidden pockets for weapons.

"It'll be a draw," was Iruka's opinion. "Staking lunch, dinner, and a senbon set on it."

"Shut up, Iruka, you don't know what you're talking about," Kakashi ordered, still watching the match. Never again, he swore, would he let his sensei talk him into watching the exams.

Iruka was so intent on killing the young Chuunin that he almost missed the fact that he won the bet.