I acted right away when Master was starting to reach dangerous levels of fury.
Explicitly blaming his PMS on my very small amount of lack of successes and tiny, little, totally ignorable mishaps at disposing the Four Swords.
Apparently that means,"You're not doing your job right," making sure the pig monarchy stays safe and in power of Hyrule. As if he could do a better job than me, I've only been here for less than a year. Him? A couple of bazilionmillionthousand decades and he's still in the process of killing the little kid who grabs a toy sword, puts on a pantyhose and plays hero in order to protect a castle and keep the princess, but I"m not blaming him about the latter. P.S I'm only forced to repeat Link's fashion style, have that clearly in your heads. Anyways, 1+1=2, which is a reference as to how I create an awesome and admirable plan which the Links manage to brutely disengage, ( giving all the credit to Vio on this one), Master gets his panties in a bunch after that and the result is...I prefer keeping my tangible shadow mass, so yeah... those four have to go a bye-bye instead of me.
So I made a rather awesome plan to destroy them and those annoying scraps of sacred metal they keep with them.
The first part of my plan was finding a significant weakness; so I had looked, or rather spied, on the "heroes" from high up in a tree bordering their camp in the forest. I then sent a horde of monsters to attack them while those selfish carefree bastards ate cake. They got separated during the ambush, and that gave me the chance to analyze them individually. All of them where weren't half-bad at defending themselves, but something caught my attention at the right time. On the border of the camp the red-clad hero with the most creative of names, RED, had his back against a tree facing various moblins at the same time. His hands were shaking, and he was probably completely terrified,(if his plate-like eyes filled with unshed tears hadn't already given that away.)
This is going to be very interesting. I doubt he'll be able to win. Just look at him, so pathetic!
Just when a monster was going to land a deadly blow to his head, Green jumped out of nowhere and tackled the monster away from Red.
Curious, I thought after Green defeated the monster and immediately went back to Red to ask for his former state of being, filled with worry.
Soon after, Vio and Blue had finished with what was left of the small mass of monsters, and seeing Red crying next to Green, both of them went to check on him. I then knew what I had to do.
I reported to the Bacon King's throne room, informed him of what I'd seen, and gave him a rough sketch of my plan to destroy the so-called heroes. Master Pig agreed with me, and I put the rest of my plan into action.
Oh yeah, hi! It's a little awkward to be back in fanfiction after leaving you guys hanging for more than a year. It's also pretty obvious various details in the plot have been added and/or changed, but I've only REWRITTEN THIS CHAPTER. The rest is pretty much the same until I get a little bit of time to fix the later chapters. So you've been warned, you may save yourselves form the nightmare that was my previous writing; without complaining about your eyes burning up because you decided to ignore my warning due to curiosity. The next chapter, re-written will be up by May 12, 2013.
The choice of reviewing is in your hands.
-Sutchi